So upset :'(

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October 18th, 2014, 04:26 AM
JakkiGirl

So upset :'(

Just found out our last effort to get a girl is gone :'(

I have two children from a previous relationship, one boy and one girl. My husband also has two from a previous relationship and he has two boys. We already have a boy together. I'm pregnant again and just found out it's another boy. I wanted so much to give my husband the girl I know he wants. I know I already have a girl but I really really wanted one with my husband. His brother just had a baby girl and I feel like they've got what they wanted and they rub it in my husband's face. I'm so upset. I just can't stop crying. Please don't say I shouldn't be because I already have a girl. I feel awful. Don't know what to do :'(
October 18th, 2014, 04:52 AM
sweetdream

Nobody here would say that you may not be upset cause you already have one.
I think you are a great mom and wife for being devasted cause you wanted to give your DH a daughter. I'm sorry you didn't hear girl.
But congrats on your Son.
October 18th, 2014, 07:37 AM
Twins6boysinall

I do know how it feels to want a girl trust me. I hope you feel better soon. I cried for days when I found out about each of my boys. With the twins I cried my entire pregnancy. But on the up side I do love each and every one of them so very much.
October 18th, 2014, 09:51 AM
laVieEnRose

Big hugs xx
October 18th, 2014, 10:29 AM
JakkiGirl

Thank you ladies. Everything had told me I was having a girl :( I did all the old wives tales I could find. Only two pointed to boy. I saw a medium and she said girl. I did the needle and thread test and it said girl - I have never known this to be wrong! I let myself believe this was it :,(
October 18th, 2014, 08:17 PM
hotdogz&boyz

I don't think that having your DG necessarily changes the feeling of wanting a certain sex or how it feels after finding out you aren't having what you wanted. Sure, you have one (so do I), but it still is the sense that you are losing the hopes you had for your family and the dream of giving your husband a daughter. I have hopes of giving my daughter a sister, I never had one. But we are pretty certain we are having a third boy. Which is great, but it still means I am losing that dream of her having a sister and I am coping with not being able to provide that for her. Allow yourself time to adjust and keep talking about it until it starts to feel better. Buy a few cute new outfits that are just for him. Think about his name and how much the boys will love having a new little brother to wrangle around with. But don't beat yourself up for your feelings about it. It takes time to get over not getting what you wanted.
October 21st, 2014, 11:47 PM
Christi

I agree with the above posters. It is very disappointing to not have the DG, but I think it is okay to let yourself have the time and space to grieve the loss of the daughter you had thought you had. Not everyone will understand, but know that you are definitely not alone in how you feel. You have a whole group of people who support you here. Hugs!
October 25th, 2014, 07:08 AM
2boysJustOneGirl

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotdogz&boyz

I don't think that having your DG necessarily changes the feeling of wanting a certain sex or how it feels after finding out you aren't having what you wanted. Sure, you have one (so do I), but it still is the sense that you are losing the hopes you had for your family and the dream of giving your husband a daughter. I have hopes of giving my daughter a sister, I never had one. But we are pretty certain we are having a third boy. Which is great, but it still means I am losing that dream of her having a sister and I am coping with not being able to provide that for her. Allow yourself time to adjust and keep talking about it until it starts to feel better. Buy a few cute new outfits that are just for him. Think about his name and how much the boys will love having a new little brother to wrangle around with. But don't beat yourself up for your feelings about it. It takes time to get over not getting what you wanted.

I just want to say that I have a sister (and a brother) and sisters suck! We don't even speak anymore and I will admit my GD is what fuels some of that. It's complicated but I am truly closer to my brother for many reasons and I think your daughter is blessed to be surrounded by all those boys! You didn't fail her.
October 25th, 2014, 08:32 AM
2boysJustOneGirl

Quote:

Originally Posted by JakkiGirl

Just found out our last effort to get a girl is gone :'(

I have two children from a previous relationship, one boy and one girl. My husband also has two from a previous relationship and he has two boys. We already have a boy together. I'm pregnant again and just found out it's another boy. I wanted so much to give my husband the girl I know he wants. I know I already have a girl but I really really wanted one with my husband. His brother just had a baby girl and I feel like they've got what they wanted and they rub it in my husband's face. I'm so upset. I just can't stop crying. Please don't say I shouldn't be because I already have a girl. I feel awful. Don't know what to do :'(

One thing I have learned is this: The things that drive GD are unique to everybody and while you do already have one girl, your disappointment is still valid and understandable. It gets easier in time to deal with it all. It helps to not give a lot of thought to what other ppl think or say... Easier said then done! I think if my brother in law was "rubbing salt in my wounds" I would discuss it with him. Tell him how you feel. Maybe he doesn't realize he is hurting you.
October 25th, 2014, 03:18 PM
Adia

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2boysJustOneGirl

I just want to say that I have a sister (and a brother) and sisters suck! We don't even speak anymore and I will admit my GD is what fuels some of that. It's complicated but I am truly closer to my brother for many reasons and I think your daughter is blessed to be surrounded by all those boys! You didn't fail her.

AGREED! I have 3 sisters, but when it boils down to it, I have don't really have a relationship with my sisters whatsoever! My best friend is way more my sister than my real sisters ever were! My brothers are much easier to get along with!!
October 27th, 2014, 12:04 PM
JakkiGirl

Thank you so much for all your support guys, I really appreciate it. As it happens I went on holiday two days after I started this thread and I honestly feel much better for it now. We don't tend to see much of the brother in law, only my husband does when he's at work as they both work in their dad's family run business. My husband is far too polite to say anything and also I think he would rather suffer in silence than admit to his brother that he is jealous. We rarely see any of his family as none of them like me (tried to figure out why for years, gave up! lol their loss)

I'm beginning to get really excited for the little boy I will have in six months time. Looking forward to all the sleepy cuddles and the burping and feeding. Tiny tootsies and little hands :D So looking forward to it now. I doubt I would feel this much better this soon had I not been able to vent some of my feelings to your lovely selves, so once again, thank you so much for the support!