What do I do now?

My husband and I have already discussed a bit what our plan will be. He wants to TTC right away. And I feel the same.

I am wondering when we should attempt? What cycle day am I on once we know the fetus has passed? I am so confused. I want to catch the first egg, not wait a cycle, but I haven't been doing cardio everyday or eating LE. Does this still sway pink, like 80%, without diet and exercise? Should I at least start the diet now?

Tons of questions. Am I crazy for even wanting to TTC so soon?

I am so sorry 2boys:(

You are not crazy for feeling the way you do. I was in the exact mindset after my mmc also.

You could call the day you started bleeding cd 1 I think. Just know that everything is crazy after a mc and each one is different. It seemed like I bled forever and I was extremely frustrated that I would never ovulate. Once I had an ultrasound that showed I had passed mostly everything I had weekly hcg draws to make sure my levels were going down. Once my hcg hit 8.8 I got a positive opk 3 days later. That was 5 weeks after my bleeding started. It felt like forever though!
I did pick LE back up after my first ultrasound that showed things were not right. I took iron 3x a week while I was bleeding. And I started the cardio after I passed the most of things.

Again, I am so sorry. My DH and I chose to keep our pregnancy quiet. So no one knew. We haven't told anyone about any of it. Honestly I think that has helped me somewhat. I never had to worry about anyone feeling sorry or bad for me, which would have made me more upset. AND I didn't have to explain to my boys what happened. That would have been the worst for me.

Just know you are not alone and there is lots of us here to confide in.

Like queenb said, after a miscarriage I think it's hard to know where you are at in your cycle. I started bleeding two weeks ago with my mmc, dnc done a week and a half ago. I just spotted after the dnc, and that only lasted 3 days.. I don't know my hcg levels now, but I feel like I will ovulate this week sometime, just based on my symptoms. I have opk's and hcg tests coming in the mail tomorrow. The pregnancy tests are the super early tests, they are positive at 10 hcg. I'm anxious to see if they still come back positive now.

I am ready to ttc right away! I feel like the quicker I am pregnant again the quicker this empty void is hopefully filled. We hadn't told anyone we were pregnant when all of this came about. I had to tell my parents so they could watch my 2 & 3 yr old boys. I felt a huge weight lifted off my chest, just having told my mom what was happening- that has been my biggest relief so far. I am letting my body have at least one full cycle to hopefully heal from the dnc/cytotec. My dr said we didn't have to wait but two weeks after the dnc to try again. I have kept up my cardio through the pregnancy and miscarriage. The le diet has been thrown out the window at least until Christmas is over. I hope to get back on track after that. Other than diet and cardio, we will just stick to bd every 3-4 days and I am taking my prenatal plus extra folic acid. Not the greatest sway, but I want a healthy baby more at this point than necessarily a girl. Don't get me wrong a healthy girl would be ideal!!

I read in a different post of yours how your three year olds comment was all the therapy you need. I can so relate. My three year old asks me several times a day if I'm happy now... I spent a lot of the past couple pretty weepy. He tells me he just wants me to be happy and not sick anymore because he loves me. That makes my heart smile:).

I wish you comfort and strength! See you in the jan tww or feb tww pages??

Huge hugs! For my loss, I only bled for 4-5 days (I considered the first day of bleeding to be CD1) and I ovulated nearly on time (I think around CD16-CD17). My doctor did an ultrasound on me around CD7 to make sure everything had passed and once she confirmed and gave me the all clear I began DTD every 4 days. I went back on LE and exercise as soon as the bleeding had stopped (CD5), but we did not end up conceiving the first cycle. Our attempts ended up being on O-3 and O+1 so I think our timing was less than ideal. We conceived the first cycle after my first AF . I hope you get a sticky BFP very soon, I know for me I wasn't fully over our loss until I moved on with a new pregnancy.

I conceived my DD2 after 2 back to back loses. I did not wait for a cycle. I ovulated on March 8th after starting to bleed on February 20th. So 16 days ish?

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...scarriage.html

You can't think about cycle days after a miscarriage. There is no pattern and everyone's experience is gonna be different. My advice is to do the every 4 day method after a loss.

I honestly don't know the answer to what sways more, a loss or diet/exercise and it's probably different for each individual anyway.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...scarriage.html

You can't think about cycle days after a miscarriage. There is no pattern and everyone's experience is gonna be different. My advice is to do the every 4 day method after a loss.

I honestly don't know the answer to what sways more, a loss or diet/exercise and it's probably different for each individual anyway.

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Thanks I was thinking the every 4 day method would be easier at this point.

I think I read somewhere on here that conceiving after a loss sways 80%, according to the stats. I was just wondering if that was the only sway tactic used or if the women in those stats also did LE diet and cardio.

Well, it's a relatively small sample size (13 of 16) and I just don't want you to look at it as an 80% guarantee because we do not know that. In order to know that, we would need a study on hundreds, if not thousands of people doing nothing else to sway. I'm sure some of them were doing diet/cardio but remember, they all had been pregnant recently so probably not as strictly as others.

Many, many people tried to catch that first egg and weren't able to. We haven't tracked results from 2 cycles after m/c, or 3, and those may still be pink friendly. :) I just don't want you to put too much emphasis on the importance of getting pg right away and get all "Martha" over it, you don't need to get pg right away to get a girl. ((((Hugs))))

Thanks for explaining. You are right. At this point I wonder if we should undergo genetic testing before we try to conceive. Having two healthy kids should indicate another is possible but what if due to many circumstances we are bound to have a baby with a genetic disease. Like who knows?!? As you said before DNA and genes are just so individual and unique and unexplainable.

I think that you are overthinking it. Virtually every woman has at least one miscarriage over the course of her life, I know very few people who haven't. IT is all but certain it was just sheer bad luck and nothing beyond that. I know when it happens it makes you stop and wonder and worry but like I said, the miracle is that it happens as rarely as it does, given all the stars that have to be perfectly in alignment for a successful pregnancy to occur.

Huge (((Hugs))), I know it sucks though.

What gets me is that most miscarriages occur with male fetuses not female. So why me? I feel like I am just not able to have a girl. This proves it! As crazy as that sounds, That's how I feel right now. Why miscarry my girl?💔

hugs. everything happens for a reason and that is god's plan.
my bestie miscarried twice and still got her gal. Relax your mind, body and soul then get back on the swaying again. Dont rush for it unless you doesnt matter what is the gender for next. Otherwise, get back on right track of girl swaying first before attempt.

I was able to get some clomid. Should I take it?

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Originally Posted by 2boysJustOneGirl

What gets me is that most miscarriages occur with male fetuses not female. So why me? I feel like I am just not able to have a girl. This proves it! As crazy as that sounds, That's how I feel right now. Why miscarry my girl?��

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Hugs to you and I am so sorry to hear about you losing your confirmed girl pregnancy. A MC is hard enough and that must make it so much worse. I honestly think if I were in your situation that I would be thinking the same thing. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in early MC. Hopefully we have both had our one and done.

I'm no clomid expert but it is quite effective in pink sways isn't it? Do the pink swayers with clomid tend to get their girls more?
But also remember that it makes multiples more likely. What if two boy sperm won it to the egg despite the pink sway environment? It is not highly likely taking all the possible scenarios into account but it could happen. If clomid made girl babies quite a bit more likely then I think I would take it though. If my girl had to be girls then I'd rather that then none.

Wishing you peace and strength for the descissions you have to make xo

I"m going to try to explain this but it's difficult to talk about and I know you're hurting right now, please forgive me for any poor choice of words.

Just because the majority of losses are boys, it doesn't mean there aren't still many XX that are miscarried.

What happens is, because girl fetuses are more hardy than boys, sometimes they are able to stay stuck for longer than boys can. This is demonstrated by the fact that girls and miscarried girls are more likely to have certain chromosomal abnormalities and structural defects like anencephaly than XY are - it's not that they're more common in XX, it's that XX are stronger and hang on long enough for it to seem like a viable preganncy when in fact it never was - if it had been XY, it might have simply been a chemical or had been lost earlier, if that makes sense. Girls are also more likely to survive with flaws in the placenta and cord than XY are (example, my niece recently had a cord with only two vessels in it and survived, and the majority of babies who have this issue are girls, but it's because the boys just can't hang on with this issue). So it is sometimes simply a case that the body would have possibly pulled the plug on the pregnancy sooner if it had been XY and you never would have known. Would have just been chalked up to bad luck (which is what it was).

To the best of scientific knowledge, there is NO ONE who "can't carry a girl". There is a very small number of women who cannot carry boys 50% of the time, but NO ONE can't carry a girl, because girls have two X chromosomes and thus always have a "spare". as far as we know, it is biologically impossible for this to be the case and PLEASE don't worry yourself over that. I have a full explanation here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...by-gender.html

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Originally Posted by 2boysJustOneGirl

I was able to get some clomid. Should I take it?

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I always recommend Clomid if you can get it, although the way you have worded this makes me think it is not via your doctor??? It is much better to use Clomid only under the guidance of a doctor, but if you are gonna take it anyway, let me know so I can help you do it safely. :/

Quote:

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Originally Posted by 2boysJustOneGirl

I was able to get some clomid. Should I take it?

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I always recommend Clomid if you can get it, although the way you have worded this makes me think it is not via your doctor??? It is much better to use Clomid only under the guidance of a doctor, but if you are gonna take it anyway, let me know so I can help you do it safely. :/

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Originally Posted by 1+2+3boys

Hugs to you and I am so sorry to hear about you losing your confirmed girl pregnancy. A MC is hard enough and that must make it so much worse. I honestly think if I were in your situation that I would be thinking the same thing. 1 in 4 pregnancies end in early MC. Hopefully we have both had our one and done.

I'm no clomid expert but it is quite effective in pink sways isn't it? Do the pink swayers with clomid tend to get their girls more?
But also remember that it makes multiples more likely. What if two boy sperm won it to the egg despite the pink sway environment? It is not highly likely taking all the possible scenarios into account but it could happen. If clomid made girl babies quite a bit more likely then I think I would take it though. If my girl had to be girls then I'd rather that then none.

Wishing you peace and strength for the descissions you have to make xo

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At some point, someone IS gonna get twin boys on Clomid. IT's going to happen. It hasn't yet, but eventually someone's gonna roll "snake eyes" and come out of a pink sway with twin boys. Everyone should always keep that in the back of their minds when contemplating Clomid - twinning is more likely (proven) and Clomid is NOT a magic pink pill -
opposites are always possible with Clomid.

I think I feel like I may be gearing up to ovulate!? The spotting was very minimal yesterday and I started having some bloating and mild cramping. I hope it's O and not symptoms of a problem related to the miscarriage. I wonder if I should call my doc?

Could you use an ovulation test kit to help you be sure?

Yes I suppose I could try an opk. I will this afternoon. It's just seems too early? It's been 10 days since I began bleeding from the miscarriage.

Attachment 22799

I couldn't wait. I can't believe it! The top one is a preg test. I am going to test again this afternoon.

Your opk will pick up the hcg still left in your system after a mc. Keep test though;)

If there's a problem, you will likely have a fever with it. I would try the OPK.

I agree I suspect that is leftover from the loss because the pg test looks faintly pos still (at least on my computer)

I feel ok other than my normal ovulation cramps. They are distinct and I always know when I ovulate. I wonder if I should ask for an Hcg blood draw?

I decided to leave a msg with the ob who performed my D&C. Just to be safe. Maybe an ultrasound is in order?

Also tmi but the spotting is only present when I wipe- it's light pink, looks more like EWCM with a bit of blood.

Good idea. Some Obs say to wait one month and others do not. I guess yours will know you best. Goodluck and I hope you can get pregnant again soon :)

They said not to worry. So I am not!

Awesome. I would think that the sooner conception is after MC the stronger it would sway pink. Goodluck. I sure hope you get pregnant with a healthy girl. You really deserve one

Attempt made last night!

Good luck x

Good luck 2boys! I hope this your month!! My only advice would be to perhaps try again in 4 days time just in case with the m/c your body gears up to ovulate and then doesn't or your OPKS are acting wonky . Doesn't hurt to cover all your bases!

Yes bluebonnet. I am am going to see what my body does the next few days. This morning I had a bunch of EWCM so I truly have a gut feeling I did o or will very soon. If in 4 days I still have these symptoms we will attempt again. How do I count? We bd last night so do I count today as day 1 and bd again on day 4?

Good luck!!

I wnat you to attempt in 4 days even if you DON'T have all the same symptoms. Sometimes the body releases a rush of EWCM that then dries up before O arrives but you're still in fertile window.

Oh man! Ok. I will!

I know, I know, I really WISH it was so clear cut and predictable like the other sites make it out to be!! :hair:

Caught the egg! BFP this morning and all the symptoms to go with it!😄😄😄

So happy to read this! congrats!

Wow! Great news! Congratulations 2boys!!!