Reasons for swaying?

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January 7th, 2015, 12:56 PM
milly29

Reasons for swaying?

Just wondering what everyone's reason was for swaying?! Mines because I have 2 gorgeous boys and always dreamed of having both boys and girls to bring up. I really wanted a boy first of all which ingot but until inhad my second ds I did not realise how badly I also wanted a girl! Would be interesting to have both boys & girls in my family I feel. That said, we are only going to have one more which I hope & pray is a healthy baby girl but would be just as thrilled with a healthy baby boy

Just interested in your reasons for wanting boys/girls/both

X
January 7th, 2015, 02:03 PM
atomic sagebrush

I also wanted a boy first and was over the moon when I got him.

I always wanted a bigger family of 5-6 and just thought a girl would be in the mix. But it didn't happen for a long time due to financial pressures and by the time we were ready to TTC again, I was in my late' 30's and felt a lot of time pressure. I was very concerned I wouldn't get a girl at all.

I love having boys, just also wanted a girl (greedy!)
January 7th, 2015, 04:00 PM
XXforhubby

I always wanted to have boys. I never really was interested in having a girl until my DH mentioned he hoped DS1 would be a girl. Then with DS2, he was convinced I was having a girl. At the ultrasound for gender confirmation, he cried when the tech said "boy parts". That stuck with me. When DH said he wanted to try for #3, he showed me this site. I keep going for him, and I hope we can get a DD. Now that it has been taking me many cycles, and wonky hormone levels, I hope we still have a decent shot at conceiving a girl. Although any child is a blessing!

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January 7th, 2015, 06:26 PM
3girl

To be honest, I've been contemplating this since I found out I'm having my third boy. I have always wanted a girl so badly, but I really don't know why. I hate dressing up, I hate decorating, I hate throwing parties, I hate cooking, ect. I really don't fit the type of a girl mom. I guess I just want to experience both sides and I'm sad I don't know if I'll ever have the chance.
January 7th, 2015, 06:40 PM
covered in blue

I'm so jealous of you ladies who got what you wanted for your first! I'm so annoyed that I can't have felt happy at least once when told the gender and I feel so guilty about that! I really don't understand why I feel the need to have a daughter so much. Who knows. I just do :). I always wanted both. Just a girl first and then I thought I didn't care.
January 7th, 2015, 08:17 PM
bunnywabbit

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3girl

To be honest, I've been contemplating this since I found out I'm having my third boy. I have always wanted a girl so badly, but I really don't know why. I hate dressing up, I hate decorating, I hate throwing parties, I hate cooking, ect. I really don't fit the type of a girl mom. I guess I just want to experience both sides and I'm sad I don't know if I'll ever have the chance.

I'm with you as far as the decorating, dressing up, etc. Of course if I do get my DD, then yes I'll do it and once I start with it will probably really enjoy it, but isn't really me right now.

For me I wanted to sway as a family balancing thing. All's fine on my family's side, but DH's side hasn't had a girl in 60+ years (OK, his cousin is a girl but was adopted into the family so isn't a true blood relative).

Would I sway again for a second time? I might 'sway' (manageable LE diet, fibre and one attempt) but certainly don't want to stress myself out and throw the kitchen sink at it. I don't have much time playing with anymore so IF we do decide to try again for another one it would be try to fall pregnant and keep it. Would I be OK with another boy? Sure! My one wish was to have 'a' healthy child and I got that. Anything extra is the icing on the cake. A part of me would wonder what having a DD would be like but I wouldn't be torn up about it. I think... Oh if only sleep deprivation and fatigue were magic bullets...
January 8th, 2015, 12:45 AM
hotdogz&boyz

Wanna hear something kinda funny...I think I swayed mostly to see if I really could be "in control" of that aspect of my life. Not that it really works that way or that anyone could ever really be "in control" of it or prove that the swaying was what caused the gender, etc. But, a big part of my sways was simple curiosity as to whether it would work and whether I could actually get the opposite gender as the one I had going into swaying. I'm a curious person in that way and I am def someone who likes to pretend I have more control over my life than I do ;) I would NOT have been crushed if my sways didn't work (one worked, one is still pending). I did want to put forth the effort to see if we could be lucky enough to have a mixed gender family (I also always wanted to experience both sides of the coin). And, if we decide on a fifth child, chances are we will sway for that one too. Although it depends on what this baby is which way we would sway. If this baby is a girl, we would sway for a boy. If this is a boy, we would sway for a girl. Again, just sheer curiosity over whether it would work.
January 8th, 2015, 03:07 AM
Sarah4girl

Reasons for swaying?

I went into this thinking I wanted a girl because of my own experience being a girl in an all boy family. When my mother was sick I was the only one who made an effort and took care of her. It was tough as I was also studying at the time. It's not the my brothers diddnt love her, or care. They simply didn't know what to do. Since my mother has passed my brothers aren't that great at keeping in touch. It's always me. Never remember birthdays, presents etc. BUT... I am realizing that this is just my experience. Not all boys/ men are like this. And it's up to me to bring my boys up to be caring thoughtful men. So when I come back to why I want a girl. My reasoning is shifting. Do I think about what others will say? Yes. I think what society perceives boys to be like and girls to be like has sadly influenced my view. Ultimately I would like someone to feel that very close female bond with... I think.
January 8th, 2015, 02:52 PM
atomic sagebrush

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3girl

To be honest, I've been contemplating this since I found out I'm having my third boy. I have always wanted a girl so badly, but I really don't know why. I hate dressing up, I hate decorating, I hate throwing parties, I hate cooking, ect. I really don't fit the type of a girl mom. I guess I just want to experience both sides and I'm sad I don't know if I'll ever have the chance.

:agree: I am not the "girl mom" type either. and I do hope you get the chance!
January 8th, 2015, 03:03 PM
atomic sagebrush

Quote:

Originally Posted by covered in blue

I'm so jealous of you ladies who got what you wanted for your first! I'm so annoyed that I can't have felt happy at least once when told the gender and I feel so guilty about that! I really don't understand why I feel the need to have a daughter so much. Who knows. I just do :). I always wanted both. Just a girl first and then I thought I didn't care.

:agree: and I have tons of sympathy for those who had strong GD from the very first.
January 8th, 2015, 03:30 PM
Dreamofpink

Yes I certainly felt GD with each of my boys but the worst was with ds2. We were forced into team green as he gave nothing away in the scans! I was chatting to a new friend yesterday, she has a dd (9) & ds (1) and openly admitted that she wanted a dd with her first & was delighted to get her. That was my dream too & after three I still don't have her. It helps though to remember that although my friend has her dd she has had such a rubbish time with abusive partners over the years & she probably envies my 14 year relationship/marriage a bit. Not that I want anyone to feel that way at all, it just helps me realise that no-one has every part of their life EXACTLY how they want it to be.

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January 8th, 2015, 04:20 PM
Mrs.tinkerbell

I always wanted to have a girl I adore girls clothes,dolls ,pink frills and most of all tutus! Plus I've always been so close with my mum and wanted the same! I never got broody over a baby boy and toddler boys as most boys I came across loved everything I hate mud football and fighting.I now know I was living a sheltered life and that's really not the case I'm soooo pleased and thankful I have my boy he's the sweetest most loving funny little boy and unless you have a son you don't see the amazing side of boys! But at my 20 wk scan with him I did feel a slight pang in my heart when they said its a boy But i never cried and was soon thrilled and exctied. But wasn't long after he was born I started researching how to concieve a girl I wanted one so so bad we only wanted and could have one more so felt I needed a while to look up everything and thankfully I came across this site that's truly made me forever greatful my little girl is everything and more than I could ever imagine!
January 8th, 2015, 07:12 PM
hotdogz&boyz

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3girl

To be honest, I've been contemplating this since I found out I'm having my third boy. I have always wanted a girl so badly, but I really don't know why. I hate dressing up, I hate decorating, I hate throwing parties, I hate cooking, ect. I really don't fit the type of a girl mom. I guess I just want to experience both sides and I'm sad I don't know if I'll ever have the chance.

It appears, from hanging around this site for a while and life experience, there must just be some sort of biological desire rooted in us, because I am pretty much the antithesis of a girly-girl too. I hate cooking and baking and rarely dress up or wear make-up. I don't like fashion or doing hair or shopping. I dislike pink and once took one of those FB quizzes that told me I "think 100% like a man" without ever asking my actual sex. Lol. BUT, I still assumed and desired to have a girl. And now that I have one, I actually don't really want her to be "girly" either, although I have NO control over that and wouldn't ever try to change who she is to suit my desires (she is, in fact, pretty interested in her clothing and shoes already, at 19mo). And after seeing so many women on here who describe themselves as "not girly," but who still desired a daughter, I concluded there must be something biological at work for so many to desire a daughter despite "shunning" typical female traits.
January 8th, 2015, 11:19 PM
3girl

Quote:

Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

:agree: I am not the "girl mom" type either. and I do hope you get the chance!

Thank you, I hope so too. I never pictured myself having more than 3 kids. Although if I can convince DH maybe at some point maybe we can try again. But I'm very scared to have another boy. GD hit so hard this time and I'm still in disbelief my sway didn't work and everyone else's did.
January 9th, 2015, 01:44 PM
atomic sagebrush

Quote:

Originally Posted by hotdogz&boyz

It appears, from hanging around this site for a while and life experience, there must just be some sort of biological desire rooted in us, because I am pretty much the antithesis of a girly-girl too. I hate cooking and baking and rarely dress up or wear make-up. I don't like fashion or doing hair or shopping. I dislike pink and once took one of those FB quizzes that told me I "think 100% like a man" without ever asking my actual sex. Lol. BUT, I still assumed and desired to have a girl. And now that I have one, I actually don't really want her to be "girly" either, although I have NO control over that and wouldn't ever try to change who she is to suit my desires (she is, in fact, pretty interested in her clothing and shoes already, at 19mo). And after seeing so many women on here who describe themselves as "not girly," but who still desired a daughter, I concluded there must be something biological at work for so many to desire a daughter despite "shunning" typical female traits.

I know I"ve said this in a kajillion other threads so apologies to those who've read it before, but I felt like I could share 80% of my existence as a human being with my sons (my first two are adults already so take my word, I know whereof I speak on that) but then there was just this 20% that understandably they had little interest in. And for whatever reason, it was a "big 20%" meaning that a lot of it were things that were super important to me and experiences that I really wanted to share. I actually found a catharsis in working with other ladies here and on IG and sharing knowledge and experiences, and that helped a ton, but still it's not quite the same as your actual daughter, IKYKWIM.
January 9th, 2015, 07:11 PM
1+2+3boys

I so agree that there must be some kind of biological calling for it!
January 23rd, 2015, 06:34 PM
maidentomother

Quote:

Originally Posted by covered in blue

I'm so jealous of you ladies who got what you wanted for your first! I'm so annoyed that I can't have felt happy at least once when told the gender and I feel so guilty about that! I really don't understand why I feel the need to have a daughter so much. Who knows. I just do :). I always wanted both. Just a girl first and then I thought I didn't care.

I'm swaying bc I really want a girl for my first, and also bc I think I'd like 2 girls(I never had a sister), but may naturally be prone to having boys. I realize this may change, and I think for my 3rd child I'll probably want a boy if I had 2 girls. But I don't think I'll feel satisfied until I have a girl. Boys are great! I just really want a girl FIRST. So you're not alone in how you feel.
January 23rd, 2015, 06:50 PM
fefecooks

DH and I agreed on having ONE child before marriage 3 years ago. He has 3 grown boys and this will be my first. We'd love to parent a darling little girl together. It's our one shot!! One and done if you will.
January 23rd, 2015, 07:21 PM
bluebonnet22

I'm just now reading hotdogzandboyz response about wanting to be in "control". My reasons for swaying were mostly because I'm a scientist and a control freak and the idea of controlling the gender of my child was a fun "project" to embark on (yes I get why I had a 50% failed sway! LOL). I did grow up in an all girl family and my desire most of my life has been to have mostly boys and then as I got older I strongly desired a mixed gender family because I always longed for a brother growing up and was curious what getting to raise both genders would be like! IF this sway had been successful in the traditional sense (ie I had one girl), I planned on swaying for a 3rd (a boy) because it sounded so fun to me (and I wanted mostly boys!). I'm not girly at all (like many of you) and never craved girly toys or tutus or pink. I just really wanted to experience both genders!
January 24th, 2015, 02:14 PM
atomic sagebrush

It is actually really illuminating to look up famous female scientists and the gender of their offspring, because many of them have all/mostly boys and many famous male scientists are from all/mostly boy families.
January 24th, 2015, 03:00 PM
Dreamofpink

Quote:

Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

It is actually really illuminating to look up famous female scientists and the gender of their offspring, because many of them have all/mostly boys and many famous male scientists are from all/mostly boy families.

Yourself, included Atomic! :D

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January 24th, 2015, 04:09 PM
XXforhubby

Quote:

Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

It is actually really illuminating to look up famous female scientists and the gender of their offspring, because many of them have all/mostly boys and many famous male scientists are from all/mostly boy families.

No wonder why I have my sweet boys, I am a scientist/high school science teacher! We'll see if my science experiment works with my girl sway I am doing. DH is doing everything with me too. I wonder if this is contributing to it taking is a while to conceive...ah, it is just taking the time it needs to! Hopefully not too long- that sways blue! But I am pretty strict with the diet and exercise and maybe that might counteract the blue effect of it potentially taking a year or longer. Right now I am on month six....

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