Hello Everyone. I haven’t been on this site for about 3 years but still kept my membership. I’ve been busy raising my 2 DD in the meantime. I’ve decided that I didn’t want to have a 3rd child because both my daughters are a handful, I’m in my late 30s and financially it would be tough. The main reason is I don’t want to take the chance of having 3 DD since I had bad GD when I found out I was having DD2. Anyway I’ve been snooping around this website for a while and feel I have to write something.
I found out I was pregnant in January – an oops pregnancy. I was almost depressed that I was pregnant because I really didn’t want a 3rd child and I definitely didn’t want a 3rd girl. After a while I started accepting this pregnancy but was still scared about having 3 kids. This week (week 10) I found out that the embryo wasn’t forming and there is no heartbeat. It was basically an empty sac. I am scheduled for a D& C this week. I thought the news wouldn’t bother me so much since I didn’t want to be pregnant in the first place but I was heartbroken. I cried for 3 days. This whole experience messed with my head. I had all my pregnancy symptoms and bloodwork was fine and then found out about this. This was a mind game. I even avoided a family party this weekend because people are constantly asking us if we are going to try for another one. I couldn’t handle that.
So my DH and I talked about trying again. I think I do want to try again after this experience. But, if I do try I am most likely going to purchase a personal plan to sway for a boy. I feel if I am going to try again at least let me try to sway and see what happens. After all of this I still want a boy. I should just want a healthy pregnancy, right? I feel horrible about that. I just want to get through this procedure and move on quickly since this experience has been very painful. I hope it gets better. Just wanted to get all of this off my chest since I don’t really have anyone to talk to about this.
