How can I help my son improve his health?

My eldest son gets sick very often. His immune system is not strong at all. Last year he suffered from a sickness caused by a wacky immune system, causing him to get tiny bleedings in his skin and organs and reumatic infections in his joints. We spent a lot of time at the hospital, he endured all the tests only for them to tell us it's bad luck (probably caused by a throat infection causing his immune system to overreact) and there's nothing they could do to help him except give him ibuprofen. Fortunaly he recovered after a few months, but he has been weak ever since and he wasn't very strong to begin with. He is very tall yet thin and now he has a stomach bug which caused him to drop a lot of weight in a short period of time. He also has autism, so when I try to fatten him up a little with healthy foods he doesn't know and thinks he doesn't like, he will refuse. He looks very tired, has black rings around his eyes and coughs a lot, especially at night. My parents were shocked when they saw him today, urging me to go see another doctor, as he looks so sick. The doctor says there's nothing he can do :worry: Today I finally managed to persuade him to take some probiotics. He also gets extra vitamins for kids. What else can I do to strengthen his immune system? He will generally only eat bread with chocolate sprinkles, fruit and I push him to drink enough water, if I didn't he wouldn't drink enough or he would live on chocolatemilk. Despite his physical problems, he is a very active child with ADHD kind of behavior (comes with this type of autism). What else can I do to help him?

have you tried pediasure sidekicks in chocolate flavor?

No, I haven't tried that yet. Not sure if I can get them here, but I'll look for something similar tomorrow, thanks! Silly I didn't think about that really, as i think I gave something similar to my sister when she was dehydrated from her pregnancy nausea!

I'm sorry he and you are struggling. First, I would try to find an empathetic doctor. I'm a big believer that if mom thinks something is not right, mom is usually right. Beyond that, I would get as much protein in him as you could and find something to replace that chocolate milk. It's like giving him a soda- sane sugar content. What about smoothies? All fruit with veggies hidden in there? And liquid vitamins in the smoothies.

If you can see a pediatrician, I would continue to ask for medical help until you are satisfied with his overall condition.

One thing I might recommend is there is a group on Facebook called Mealtime Hostage. All the ladies there are fantastic and all have children with selective eating problems and they know every trick in the book and where to seek help in your area.

I bought olive leaf extract in liquid as it has antiviral and antibacterial properties. It tastes foul but my kids love it.
Also this might sound strange but I took my oldest to a chiro as he was delivered by forceps and they did some adjusting and he didn't get as sick after that. Only took say 4 sessions.

Thanks all for the advice. In my small town there is only one doctor and when he directed me to the pediatrician, I was so dissapointed as well. He literally told me to be tougher on him, tell him he must sit down and eat when I say so. First of all, I don't want to force feed my child and second of all: I've tried everything in my desperation, so yes I have sat him down and told him to eat and regretted that as he refused and got very upset and so did I. I will go to the shop today and get all the ingredients for a healthy smoothy. I figured if he doesn't drink it, I might be able to freeze it and surprise him with a healthy ice popsicle, he might fall for it lol! Will also look into that group, I bet they have some tips to hide veggies and fruit in his meals :) We will be moving to the city this summer, will make sure we find the best doctor there! Oh and olive leaf sounds interesting, will ask my local natural vitamin shop if they have any :D Thanks girls!

I would really recommend a juicer, my son is a miserable eater and would live off pasta, ice cream and chocolate if I let him. Until the age of 2 1/2 he basically lived of milk and became anemic because of it, his lips would turn blue and he was severally constipated he also had many throat infections. My pediatrician sent us to an ENT and we where told to have his tonsils removed but ultimately left the decisions up to me and my husband. Well we decided against it and made some changes to his diet, I cut out the milk cold turkey and really started pushing meats and veggies and lots of fruit. I know it's hard I had to struggle at every meal. I would make fresh juices orange, apple and berries and later I started sneaking in carrots and beets amd if he would drink a whole glass he would get treats, like a cookie or a pice of candy, chocolate etc.... I also started giving him vitamin d and blackstrap molasses for his iron. My son is now 6 and hasn't had a infection in 2 years, it's a constant struggle when it comes to feeding especially when you have other kids to take care of as well and sometimes it's easier to give in and give them what they want, but stick with it you will see a difference, my kids school is a big help as well because they don't allow sweets and candy or chips and cookies. After a while you become amazed at what your kids will eat, my sons favorite food now is ratatouille, go figure. Best of luck to you and your son on this journey it can be a hard one but you can do it.

Thanks for the tips, I'll try that as well! He refused his food again today so I sat him down and told him I don't want to scare him, but if he looses any more weight (he only weighs 20 kg now and measures 128 cm), he must go back to the hospital and they will put a tube in his throat to feed him. He said: but that hurts! Yeah son it does, but if you don't eat you'll get sicker and you're really too unhealthy now. He went into the kitchen, ate half a tomato and then asked me to fry him 2 eggs. Smothered them in butter and he ate it completely :) Don't want to scare him, but don't know how else to reason with him, as it is the truth, they will admit him if he doesn't eat. Never thought parenting could be this hard :(

Yeah forcing is never the way to go or you will shut him off completely. There is a feeding model on that group that works for a lot of people and you will get lots of help there!

Thanks Nahri!

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Originally Posted by Dana-Alicia

Thanks for the tips, I'll try that as well! He refused his food again today so I sat him down and told him I don't want to scare him, but if he looses any more weight (he only weighs 20 kg now and measures 128 cm), he must go back to the hospital and they will put a tube in his throat to feed him. He said: but that hurts! Yeah son it does, but if you don't eat you'll get sicker and you're really too unhealthy now. He went into the kitchen, ate half a tomato and then asked me to fry him 2 eggs. Smothered them in butter and he ate it completely :) Don't want to scare him, but don't know how else to reason with him, as it is the truth, they will admit him if he doesn't eat. Never thought parenting could be this hard :(

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That is one thing that has really shocked me about being a parent - how hard your children will fight you on things you are doing only because you love them and want them to be ok.

Does he get much exercise?? I have two really picky eaters (one of whom existed on nothing but Goldfish and Flintstones for about 2 years straight) and I found that they didn't have an appetite if they didn't run around a lot.

I need to take them outside every day, otherwise I go nuts lol! But he does tend to get hungrier after a long day at the playground. Still I think the biggest issue is that he doesn't connect with his body like most people do. I don't think he experiences hunger pangs or maybe he doesn't recognize them as hunger? He was potty trained very late, when he was almost five. Kids with autism tend to just not feel it on time. Maybe it's the same with the eating? He also struggles with new flavors or tectures, he doesn't like the feeling in his mouth. If I let him, he would live of chocolate and pizza solely :nyd: Today he drank a few sips off a smoothie with spinach, bananas, blueberries and mango :highfive: and again had eggs, some bread with butter and of course his favourite easter eggs. We'll get there, he just needs a lot of motivation :think:

That could very well be the case as one of mine just really doesn't ever seem to get hungry. He will eat things he likes but not because he's hungry, just because he wants to eat wahtever it is. He's an adult now and still eats like this, just not to as much of an extreme. I was shocked when he started eating salads all on his own (I think it was a girl who had something to do with that LOL) and while he's never going to be a gourmet, he isn't really as bad as I feared he would be.

My thinking with him and also with my other non-eater was to get ANYTHING into them. Pizza is actually a decent food when it comes down to it and mine eat tons of it. :/ I'm sure there were times I could have done better but at the same time, it seemed like the harder I pushed, the worse they ate. Just so you know you're not alone!! :)

Thanks AS it helps knowing I'm not alone and love reading your picky eater now eats salad! My son has made a huge improvement in his eating. I need to remind him every now and then how healthy it is to eat and he has gained 3 lbs! since I started this thread! He went from eating barely anything to eating 3 sandwiches in the morning with chocolate spread, 5 (FIVE!!!) sandwiches in the afternoon with butter, meat and cheese, at school he has 2 pieces of fruit and when he comes home after school I feed him pizza with meat and veggies. As dessert he has fullfat yoghurt with fruit. In between he also snacks cookies or sweets. He still needs loads of motivation to try something new, but he has started eating pasta, more veggies and bacon. He loves bacon lol. He still gets his vitamins and probiotics everyday and have also been giving him extra iron and vitamin D. I can not believe how much better he is doing! So relieved!

My son has always been the worst eater. I would literally have to chase him around all day and start stuffing food down his mouth. I looked like a lunatic LOL. He is better today, but he still won't feed himself ("my arms hurt momma, I'm so tired of chewing momma"). Everyone (including docs) said "he'll eat when he's hungry"...I'm like "no he won't!!!". He won't eat unless somebody is sitting beside him. And picky like you wouldn't believe. He won't eat anything red. That is not a joke. Ketchup is the one exception. I have watched him FREAK OUT at preschool because one of the kids sitting beside him in circle time had had strawberries for breakfast. My daughter has to eat her yogurt in the next room. I dread every dinner time.

I can seriously relate! I am going to try the hospitalization threat tonight!!!

Oi that sounds exactly like my son, it's so frustrating! I hope the hospital threat will work for you as well!

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Originally Posted by The Anchor

My son has always been the worst eater. I would literally have to chase him around all day and start stuffing food down his mouth. I looked like a lunatic LOL. He is better today, but he still won't feed himself ("my arms hurt momma, I'm so tired of chewing momma"). Everyone (including docs) said "he'll eat when he's hungry"...I'm like "no he won't!!!". He won't eat unless somebody is sitting beside him. And picky like you wouldn't believe. He won't eat anything red. That is not a joke. Ketchup is the one exception. I have watched him FREAK OUT at preschool because one of the kids sitting beside him in circle time had had strawberries for breakfast. My daughter has to eat her yogurt in the next room. I dread every dinner time.

I can seriously relate! I am going to try the hospitalization threat tonight!!!

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THIS times a million!!! Everyone tells you they'll eat when they're hungry, whatever you give them, and I"m like "you realize that 50% of all children used to die before they reached the age of 3, right?? That is because Goldfish had not been invented yet." I too have followed my 3rd son around shoving tiny particles of food into his mouth...for years at a time...and he just ate a lunch of two tortillas with mozzarella cheese and dipped in ketchup. I have no shame at this point.

My oldest son (the one who now eats salad) hated anything even the slightest bit "slimy" and to him, things like peaches or strawberries or bananas were slimy. Yogurt was also "slimy", as was jelly. There are huge categories of food that might be considered slimy when one starts to put their mind to it. (and he did. One time he made himself throw up because my husband made him eat 2 bites of lasagna. :/

Both DS 1 and 3 hate spaghetti. HOW can you hate spaghetti?? I thought all kids loved spaghetti. But no. DS 1 will only eat it if it has alfredo sauce and DS 3 will only eat it if it has 4 lbs of mozzarella cheese on top, at which point he eats the cheese, and by the time he gets to the spaghetti, he's "full" and I have to throw it away.

Hang in there!

Yes so true. I was always told he would eat when he's hungry. Of course those were people with kids who would eat anything! I was also a picky eater and I agree with your son on slimey things. I refused to eat those things as well. Looking back I also have a slight allergy to some fruits as it would burn my mouth when eating them. Now maybe this is karma coming round to bite me in the ass lol as I did the same to my mom, making her desperate I wouldn't eat anything but crispy, salty things. I would eat dry spaghetti or chips. Aah the delights of parenting :highfive: