New from UK - dreaming pink but confused :-(

Hi all I am 34 from UK I have 3 lovely boys ages 8, 6 & almost 1. My hubby talked me into number 3 and I was a bit resistant as I knew that would probably be our last and if it wasn't a girl I was worried I would be very upset. I went ahead and of course heard "it's another boy" moments after he was born. I did reply "are you sure?" which amused the midwives!

He is so amazingly cute and gorgeous and we all love him to pieces but I am still dreaming of a daughter. My sister in law had a baby girl a few weeks ago and when I heard it was a girl I literally cried all day! I had no idea I would react that way and it shocked me but our children go to the same school, I see her every day and I just couldn't handle having to coo over her 2nd little girl when, if I'm honest, I wished for a girl every time I was pregnant. I have been feeling so low about never having a daughter that my husband has said he is happy to try PGD we wouldn't want to try naturally as I don't think I would handle it well if it was another boy (that sounds so bad).

HOWEVER, I am so unsure what to do. I feel like 4 is a lot of children, and I am worried about giving them all enough time etc. I also worry about the cost and that we could spend so much money and not get pregnant. I do get pregnant very easily - does this help with having IVF? However if I had a girl I would be so happy.

I started looking through this forum to try to help me decide what to do but there is so much information and I feel a bit lost with it all. The cycles seem very confusing, all the abbreviations etc. This is the first time I have ever been on online forum. Can someone tell me what the full name of Clinic R is? This seems popular on here but when I google it I can't find a clinic called that. USA seems like it would be good but again so many different clinics etc. Another question I have is has there been research on the long term effects of children born through PGD? I just wondered if doing this can have any negative effects on the child's development? Has anyone got a child through PGD who is a bit older say 5 or 6 and is fine developmentally as this is something my husband worries about as we read an article that taking 2 cells rather than 1 for the testing can be detrimental. Any thoughts on that?? Do the clinics usually only take 1 cell?


Sorry if this is a bit rambling. xxx

Hi there. It is a lot to take in at first. I see you are a Dream Member so you can access the private forum to find info on Clinic R. They do not offer Gender Selection outright because it is illegal to do so there. They do offer full embryo testing though.

The US is the best of both worlds- good success rates and GS is totally legal here but it is more expensive than Europe. It depends what is doable for you and what is most important. The guide in my signature contains a lot of info including to the links to requests consults with two doctors on here that can answer questions and start the process for you.

You'll need to assess your ovarian reserve to see how you may respond. Regarding PGD, today, cells are taken from what will become the placenta on day 5. No cells are taken from what will become the baby anymore so there is really little fear of doing any harm. My son had one cell taken on day 3 and he is approaching 5. He is very healthy and normal. That is the last thing I would worry about with this process!

Thank you very much for your reply. I have read the guide now which was really useful. Glad PGD worked for you. :-) x

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Originally Posted by Foreverblue

Thank you very much for your reply. I have read the guide now which was really useful. Glad PGD worked for you. :-) x

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Hi Forever blue
I am also from the uk with three girls. In the opposite situation I'm afraid and desperate for a son. Yes I also think is four children too many however the dream to fulfil my desire is greater therefore another child won't harm especially if it's going to be the gender we desire so much. I have looked into swaying for some time now and although the ladies on this forum have great results I want a 100% therefore have decided to have PGD. I have looked into a few clinics and have made my mind up about a clinic in dubai. Hopefully all being well we will proceed early next year. Best of luck on your journey.

I'm in the UK, with 4 boys, 9,7,5,1. It is hard work, but it can be so lovely too. I don't think dividing time is too difficult, you just have to be aware. I get all day with the youngest while the others are at school. They eldest 2 do quite a few clubs so I get time with the 5 year old while they are out and the little one is asleep. I make time to do special things one to one with the older ones. Like on Thursday ds2 and I are going out together, he has some money he has saved up so we will go spend that and get some lunch.
I won't lie, I'm struggling with the gender desire at the moment, I have a history of depression and the two things are combining and making my life very difficult right now. But even so, I wouldn't go back and decide not to have a 4th. I just kind of wish he'd been twins and one was a girl. Then I wouldn't now be in this situation of driving myself mad wanting a girl and not knowing if it will ever happen.


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Hi forever,
I know exactly how you feel - most people on here have the same worries as you so you're definitely in the right place! I spent months doing lots of research and discussing it carefully with my husband (I too have never done forums before and am not at all tech-savvy!) we have decided to have a go and now I have stopped worrying about all the things you mentioned. We decided that if we could possibly do it, we wouldn't ever be happy until we had at least given it a go. Although I still worry, I know I'm doing the right thing. Once you make a decision - either way- you will feel much better.
I've just had my pre-testing done in London and am going to America in August. I'm by no means an expert but I know how overwhelming this process is at first so feel free to pm me if you want. I know I couldn't have done this without the help of certain ladies on here! Xx

I remember mine and hubbies vague conversations about it all at start and him say yeah yeah and then the next I was doing pre testing and taking meds that was just over a year ago and seems a long time I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant with my little girl and it still don't seem real no one knows how we got her apart from my closet friend and oldest son I have 3 boys aged 13/8/4 and yes 4 seems daunting but I know she will be worth it
This forum and the girls here are a wealth of knowledge and info and without them I wouldn't of had a clue I did pre testing in London and went to hrc and was a ohw and will gladly answer any questions xx

Hi ladies I hope you don't mind me joining you, I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with boy number 3 and I to am desperate for a girl !
Can anyone recommend the top clinics as I will be trying this in 2016 ? How long do you need to be away for ? I've looked at farah in Jordan but worried about safety? Also two in Czech but not sure how to get round it being illegal there and genesis in Cyprus? Any advice or help or support would be great ! Thank you so much x

Congrats on pregnancy and not sure on Jordan but lots of Czech girls on here and a few genesis even though don't think gensis success rates are great at minute and only fish not full testing of embryos like the Czech clinic but it's illegal in Czech so can be a bit harder to get info but girls on here who have been will help I'm sure I went to Dr potter at hrc x

hi hun..I think most of us on here understand how you feel.i was so depressed after my number 5 son I spent weeks in hospital. I adore all my boys but this longing for a girl is overwhelming. .my hubby totaly understands which is a blessing and also my parents. im going to give it 3 cycles and then call it a day if ive had no luck. but I know in my heart I tried everything possible for my much wanted daughter..like you I was looking at swaying but I couldnt risk the disappointment knowing this would be my last child..I think my sons would like a sister aswel and she'l definitely have alot of brothers looking after her lol xx

That's how I feel now! Was so upset I spent the day I found out in bed! I feel awful because I am lucky ! Could anyone private message me with the best czech clinics as I think they will be more in my price range? My hubby is not the father of my first two sons and he has a daughter and now a son! He says he wants to concentrate on this pregnancy first but I can't help it!
Remustroy: I thought czech did fish or am I wrong ? What testing do they do ? I've had miscarriages and Il be over 35 by the time I've saved up ? I'm hoping that will help me ? X

How much was HRC ? I know Dr Pottor seems the best ? Was it your first try Remustroy? X

Czech do full testing but has to be fet I think hrc does work out expensive cost me about £15000 including accom flights pretesting etc and yes I was 36 and luckily a ohw with Dr potter dispite a low number of eggs fertilised so I feel extremely lucky x

Hi and welcome!!!

oh and please take the idea that children from IVF are more likely to have developmental delays, with a very HUGE grain of salt as it is almost certianly untrue. Women who need IVF to conceive often have medical conditions that cause them to be more likely to have children with developmental delays to begin with (such as gestational diabetes) and since there are more twins and other multiples conceived via IVF, they are at higher risks because ALL multiples are at higher risk of developmental delays (prematurity and so forth). Any correlation is almost 100% certain to be a statistical coincidence and not a real finding.

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Originally Posted by Remustroy

Czech do full testing but has to be fet I think hrc does work out expensive cost me about £15000 including accom flights pretesting etc and yes I was 36 and luckily a ohw with Dr potter dispite a low number of eggs fertilised so I feel extremely lucky x

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Wow hmm will work that out in pounds! What's FET ? And OHW ? Sorry I'm new to all this ? X

Mrsshaw that was in pounds and fet is frozen egg transfer and ohw is one hit wonder and that's fine my best advise is keep reading and asking questions x

Oh gosh eek ! I'm hoping to use my eggs, did you go as a family holiday ? I think czech is looking more in my price range! I still don't know which clinic R is? I've been in contact with the other clinic and it sounds promising! From what I've read they have good reviews and results ! Thank you so much for helping, it's such a mine field! I would do a natural away but I can risk another boy x

Just realised you said it has to be FET for czech ? Can that be done with my eggs if they are good enough ? How does that work ? Only just starting to lol into this all so I'm sorry if I mis understand or repeat questions that have already been asked x

Fet is using your own eggs it's just you go for egg retrieval once you have been on medication and then you go home and they test the embryos and freeze and you go back at a later date for transfer not sure about which Czech clinic it is but I know there's lots of girls cycling there maybe look at threads on here titled clinic r everyone here is lovely and really helpful and it starts out a minefield but once you get started it falls into place x

Hi thank you ! I know it will be a while before I go but I like to understand everything first?
Do you know how to get started with all the pre testing stuff and where would do it in the Midlands? X

Pre testing only lasts six months and think you would have to wait a while after birth and think you have to have finished breast feeding if you do that is and I'm sure there are girl on here from Midlands that can help with where to go xx

Thank you, it's just so I can see ? How do I find people from the Midlands? Do I start a new post? Sorry I'm just learning the ropes and Ive only got my I phone to message on ? If I were to google pre testing for ivf is that s good idea ? X

You could start a new thread asking about Midlands pretesting x

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Originally Posted by desperate4blue

Hi Forever blue
I am also from the uk with three girls. In the opposite situation I'm afraid and desperate for a son. Yes I also think is four children too many however the dream to fulfil my desire is greater therefore another child won't harm especially if it's going to be the gender we desire so much. I have looked into swaying for some time now and although the ladies on this forum have great results I want a 100% therefore have decided to have PGD. I have looked into a few clinics and have made my mind up about a clinic in dubai. Hopefully all being well we will proceed early next year. Best of luck on your journey.

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Hi desperate for blue. Can I ask which clinic in Dubai you're thinking of going to? Also have you done your pre testing yet and if so, where? I am in Yorkshire too and planning PGD journey later this year