trying to be supportive

One of my friends just found out she's having a girl. I'll admit I cried like a baby when I heard the news because it's just SO hard hearing that. She wanted a girl, had an oops and got a girl. I gotta say though, it was so cathartic to just let out all those pent up emotions I've had about wanting a daughter. I'm still a bit down about it but I needed that cry, I really did. I guess I'm just feeling like I'm never going to have the little girl I've always dreamed of. Sometimes I think I should just leave FB because I keep seeing "it's a girl!" posts or pics of people's baby girls. I'm happy for my friend, I am. She's had a loss before and I know how much she wanted a girl to have her pigeon pair but damn, it stings. *sigh* I don't know why I'm writing this, I guess it's just therapeutic for me and to let any other ladies out there know they're not the only ones who feel this way. I just need to keep sticking to this diet and buy a sway plan all while praying to God that it gets us a daughter. I have my fingers and toes crossed for all of those swaying that we're lucky enough to get our DG.

That is one thing that still bothers me and ironically I never cared a bit about pigeon pairs before I had my daughter!!!

Virtually everyone I know IRL, most of whom are in late 20's to early 30's range, over the past 5 years, effortlessly popped out a boy and a girl with no effort whatsoever. They were like "oh let's have kids" boom boom and done and here I sit with 4 boys over 20 years and having to do all this research and invent my own diet to get one little girl who I'll be like a million years old when she's a teenager and I will probably die before I ever have enough time to enjoy her. :/

Yes! I see couples all the time that have one boy and one girl or have 3-4 kids with a mix of genders. I'm tempted to ask what they did different. lol ;) I completely understand what you mean though. There are those of us who try so dang hard to figure out what the key is to getting a certain gender yet people get their DG every day without even trying. I suppose I get a little miffed when people get both genders yet nothing about their lives or diet changed...it just happens. What really irks me is when people are smug about it and can't see why anyone would have a gender preference. :sigh:
I'm so glad you got your daughter though!! AND I'm glad we have this site thanks to all of your research. I used to be on IG a few years back and none of it made sense to me. In fact, it scared me away from swaying until I found this place!

I never much cared for PPs; so boring/typical/common. No same gender sibling bonds which are superior IMO. I'm the girl in a PP and my brother is a massive loser sociopath, so I may be biased...

Since I lost my B/G twins I can't stand FB. Any babies/young children are hurtful. On top of that I'm jealous of girl babies and when I see boy babies (most of my friends have only boys and 3+) I fear I'll be an all boy mom. I can't win! So I just avoid entirely.

Yes exactly that's what annoys me (at myself) is that I've never cared about PP anyway and I think same sibling families, esp. BB pairs/trios, are really cool. I think it just annoys me the ease at which it happens for so many people. I am Frank Grimes (from the Simpsons)

This is what I'm going through right now! I am utterly convinced that I could have 13 children and sway each time and I'd still have all boys. In the last year nearly everyone on my friends list who already has one or two sons have got their girl! Here I am swaying a 3rd time and I already know it will be another boy. So convinced that I already have a boy's name picked out and I refuse to even think of girl names. I have to work so hard to sway the odds a little in my favor and get another boy anyway, while these women just need to blink and viola there they get their girl. A friend of mine just had her girl and has asked me to sew her some adorable newborn clothes...I literally bawl my eyes out when I complete an outfit. Another friend of mine just found out she is pregnant after already having a girl and told me (with my boys right there) that she "hates" boys and she is certain since all her sisters have only girls that she'll be just like them. A part of me hopes her next two are boys... I'm so horrible :( I just want ONE girl! Just one...and I feel like the more people around me who have girls = more of a probability that I'll have a boy because I need to even it out. Sorry, I kind of went off on my own GD there, but I can totally understand how you are feeling!

I had 2 boys for 13+ years and it never even crossed my mind that anyone would ever feel sorry for anyone with 2 boys!! Not even remotely. Some people had 2 boys, some 2 girls, some BG - never gave it a second of thought or had anyone ever make a comment or act like anything was weird or pitiable about it.

I think we view everything through our GD lens and are sensitive about things that most people don't even give a moment of thought to.

I have a "friend" who loves to bash boys. She has a BG combo but she goes on and on about how she feels sorry for those with only boys. I used to get upset but now I feel there must be an underlying reason why she would focus her attention and energy on finding "reasons" why only boys are bad. Maybe she wants it? She doesn't know how wonderful it is to have two boys and I wouldn't change it for the world. Any combination of kids is wonderful and I do long for a DD because I would like to have a mother/daughter relationship. That said, I don't go around bashing other people's kids though.

I also never cared about PP until I had my 2nd boy. I felt as you did pink bean, I bashed all boy families until I had kids. I had only wanted girls, 2 girls please and thank you. My boys have taught me more about life and raising kids than I ever thought possible. I have a cousin who I was close to growing up she also never wanted boys, she never had one. She got her 2 girls and regularly rants about how disgusting boys are and how glad she is she doesn't have one on fb. I just look at what an awful angry mean adult she's become and think of how far I've come by not getting my girls. I'm so much wiser and understanding. Not getting what you want humbles you.
I also have a close friend with her PP just got her DD last fall. She also blatantly favors her daughter.
I feel so fortunate that I'm finally getting my girl. But I have learned so much from boys. There's no way I could ever favor her over them just because she's a girl. Mt boys are both SO different and I'm hoping she's somewhere in between, it's a good thing.
Sorry you feeling this way. You are not at all alone. You just may get your PP, but don't forget how this made you feel. That way you can always remain sensitive to how others may be feeling. Hugs girlie!

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Originally Posted by pink_bean

I agree, most people I know easily got their pp while I actually tried to sway for a girl and had another boy. What really stings is when I hear how afraid other people are of being in my shoes with two boys. Because I already feel like people look down on my family so it's like a kick in the gut. My heart literally dropped to read that.

But admittedly I used to feel the same way, I guess. I'm glad I got my second boy though. It made me realize I had no reason to be scared or feel sorry for anyone with two boys.

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I actually got looks of PITY when I told people we were having our second boy! I couldn't believe it. What does it even matter to them anyway? I love both my boys and I think they're so lucky to have one another. I would have loved to have a sister, but instead I'm the youngest of 3 with two older brothers.

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Originally Posted by maidentomother

I never much cared for PPs; so boring/typical/common. No same gender sibling bonds which are superior IMO. I'm the girl in a PP and my brother is a massive loser sociopath, so I may be biased...

Since I lost my B/G twins I can't stand FB. Any babies/young children are hurtful. On top of that I'm jealous of girl babies and when I see boy babies (most of my friends have only boys and 3+) I fear I'll be an all boy mom. I can't win! So I just avoid entirely.

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My mom has one sibling (a brother) and they were never close. She hated him from day one. LOL They haven't spoken in years....decades really.

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Originally Posted by pink_bean

Yes, atomic unfortunately I did feel sorry for all boy moms before I had my two boys. I have no idea why now though. Maybe it was just my own desire for a daughter and fear I'd never have one.

I hate Facebook for a myriad of reasons but boy does it fuel my GD. Especially because my husband has a huge family and it's not only "look at my beautiful baby girl" but look at my beautiful daughter in her quince dress or look at my beautiful daughter in her prom dress, all this times 20 lol there seems to be a huge emphasis on the "beautiful" part above all else.

It hurts because it just shows what I will be missing out on for the rest of my life and yet seems so easy for everyone else to get.

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Totally know how you feel. Every time I see pictures of people's daughters on FB, I just think "and that will never be me, I'll never get to have a daughter." It feels like anyone can say they want a daughter and BOOM! it happens yet statistically speaking the odds favor boys. I don't get it, I just don't. I have nieces and while I love being around them and buying girly things for them, it's just not the same. They're not MY daughter.

Just when im feeeling like crap i read these posts and find people that 'get me' and what im feeling. I agree i hate PP more so than ever. Its like yoy know job, marriage, average house, average family boy and girl its very stepford wives lol. Gosh i get crankier in my old age (im only 32 😂😂😂) i guess having all my boys means they'll have a few to talk to and hopefully help each other in life.

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That is disgusting talk about boys and favoritism towards the girl. Those are the types that don't deserve kids. Silly women

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Originally Posted by ksmom

Totally know how you feel. Every time I see pictures of people's daughters on FB, I just think "and that will never be me, I'll never get to have a daughter." It feels like anyone can say they want a daughter and BOOM! it happens yet statistically speaking the odds favor boys. I don't get it, I just don't. I have nieces and while I love being around them and buying girly things for them, it's just not the same. They're not MY daughter.

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I have 2 nieces aswell and i agree it isnt the same. I do love to spend time with them and hubby understands that now but ugghhh.


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Originally Posted by netti02

That is disgusting talk about boys and favoritism towards the girl. Those are the types that don't deserve kids. Silly women

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If I had a daughter I would never favor her over my boys, ever. I know there are parents out there though that are like that.
I get the feeling from a lot of people that no one's family could ever be complete without at least one boy and one girl. The handful of ladies I know with all boys would always get those comments of "I hope it's a girl!" every time they announced another pregnancy.

I remember the first time my oldest niece asked me to play My Little Ponies with her, I didn't know what to do with myself! lol I'm so used to my boys playing with cars/trucks and fighting imaginary dragons. I gotta say though that I loved every minute of being girly and playing with ponies and dolls with my niece. ;) I was so giddy when she asked me to do her hair. LOL

Well, my brother and his girlfriend are ALSO now having a boy after a girl. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say every single person I know IRL, not from the sites, who has had 2 kids in the past 10 years has gotten a PP without even trying. :/