Atomic - Should dh release or abstain

Hi Atomic I know you must get asked this all the time and I'm sorry for rehashing it. I'm 11dpo with a bfn this morning after getting a bfp at 7dpo and faint then fainter lines for days 8-10. I will never test early again. It was all fun and games when you didn't expect to see anything but when I did.... obviously I'm heartbroken but determined to move on. Next cycle will be month 5 ttc. My dh is 44 and I'm under the impression he shouldn't abstain? During the previous 3 cycles I was asking him to release every 4 days but we kinda fell by the way side this cycle and I have no idea when and if he released in the 10 days or so leading up to o. What would you suggest for our next attempt? Should I him release every 4.days with me (protected) or without me before estimated o or should he abstain for approx 7 days? We've nailed the timing last 3 of 4 cycles to day before and once likely day of o so I'm wondering if there's anything else we can do to improve our chance of bfp. I've been on le diet for approx 25 weeks (cheated 12 days last 2ww and minor cheating this 2ww for 10days) not using antihistamines or anything else, dh taking ole and I'm using fibre. That's my sway in a nutshell, diet and one attempt. Appreciate any input you can offer :)

I think atomic has dropped abstain for most men, especially older guys. By your 5th cycle I'd think you might want to add a second attempt, so do e4d unprotected and add an attempt at pos opk. Hope you get your sticky bean soon!


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I'm really nervous about an extra attempt my boys were both conceived with multiple attempts so I might give it another go first with just the one. So dh should release every 4 days from now until close to o? I'm also considering dtd the morning after solid smiley opk (if its at all possible) so my attempt is closer to o than the day before.

Release every 4 days or dtd every 4 days

Pbn, atomic told me hubby should not abstain, he is 37...we released by hand every 2-4 days and 1 attempt with the fertile period which was 2 days before O. Hope you get your bfp very soon!! Xx

Thanks Tiffsal! I think I remembered reading you heard pink???

I did at my 12weeks. Im waiting my 20weeks scan but the sonographer was 99.9% sure. Couldnt be happier. My sil doesnt believe is sways but i obviously do since it worked for me. All fingers are crossed for you! Xx

It's time for you guys to drop freuency totally, Pbn.

I'd have him release on his own or with you, with a condom every 2-4 days for as far in advance of attempt as is feasible.

Also let's drop fiber now.

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Originally Posted by Pbn3

I'm really nervous about an extra attempt my boys were both conceived with multiple attempts so I might give it another go first with just the one. So dh should release every 4 days from now until close to o? I'm also considering dtd the morning after solid smiley opk (if its at all possible) so my attempt is closer to o than the day before.

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I'd like to see you give it a try without frequency but wiht one attempt before I start adding attempts.

That hving been said you have been on diet a long time now so may be time to add attempts!

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Originally Posted by has2gentlemen

I think atomic has dropped abstain for most men, especially older guys. By your 5th cycle I'd think you might want to add a second attempt, so do e4d unprotected and add an attempt at pos opk. Hope you get your sticky bean soon!


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:agree: but the exception is if someone's been doing a strict sway, I'd rather they dropped everything but kept one attempt at least one month before adding attempts. :)

Thanks Atomic. So if I get dh to release cd1 (tomorrow) cd5, cd9 then nothing until our attempt (will between cd10 and cd14) I'm pretty sure he'll be fine with that :) and I'll drop the fibre (darn just bought some yesterday! lol). Sorry if I'm spelling it out back to you I just want to make sure I've got everything right for this last attempt at one attempt :)

You can continue with fiber, it's just htat you've been on diet so long I want to be sure you're getting the nutrition you need. :)

:agree: on number and timing of attempts

Sorry Atomic just to clarify the one attempt - should I aim for day of o rather than day before this time? Not sure if you were referring to this or not in last post :) I'm happy to drop the fibre I want to give this next attempt my all possible for bfp with one attempt :)

edited **never mind about above question you obviously did answer previous post my brain mustn't have been functioning very well when I asked lol

Sorry to bump this Atomic but dh release schedule has gone abit awry lol. He released cd4 and cd7 (I'm now cd8). I'm expecting our attempt to be cd11 or could even be cd12. Should he fit a release in tomorrow or should he abstain now. I've got some sperm safe lube and really want to tick all the boxes this cycle. it's very likely to be our last attempt at one attempt - dh is getting abit fed up with my swaying (nicely though he's never mean :)) He's even agreed for the first time (probably because its the last time) to go vegetarian this week. Just to remind you he is 44 so I'm not sure whether a release a couple or few days before attempt is a good thing or not?

Either way is fine. EVery 2,3, or 4 days are all fine for sperm quality, so any option is ok as long as it doesn't get more than 5 days abstain.