Year-long sway attempt failed. Two miscarriages, now a 3rd boy...

After swaying for over a year and suffering two miscarriages I am SO disappointed to report that my sway failed and I am now expecting boy #3.
I am totally devastated.
In a brief recap, here was my sway....
- no breakfast
- no red meat, very limited meats
- no vitamins
- shallow release, no big O
- FIVE DAY cutoff, yes... five days... DH was actually out of town when I O'd so I know this to be true
- pregnant after cycle following miscarriage/laporoscopic procedure
- Vitex and Saw Palmetto
- negative ions/ girl things under the mattress
- so much more, but my mind is a blur and I can't remember.

My doctors (I saw multiple ones over the past year) all said that swaying and timing don't matter, and I refused to believe them. I am so sad that I swayed SO hard this time, I am having another boy. I am suffering from gender disappointment for the second time around. I did a light sway with DS2 which also failed.

Fortunately, DH is 100% on board with making my dreams come true and we will do IVF/PGD for kid #4, assuring us a girl. If anyone has recommendations, preferably in Colorado, please let me know.

Now, back to crying my eyes out :(

I feel you. I was so pissed and disappointed with my 4th son. I would suggest IVF and take out a loan. I wanted to do that too.


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You have one determined little boy! Conceptions in Colorado is one of the best clinics anywhere. We have a member that just got her BFP today that cycled there.

Oh :(. I'm so sorry! I had a terrible time accepting I had DS3 on board too - and that was without the miscarriages or swaying. I can only imagine how hard this is for you. Big hugs xx
I spent about a month crying and then slowly got used to the idea of a 3rd boy. My first 2 were 8lb boys so I was expecting him to be around the same but at 41 weeks I got induced and had this perfect little 6lb 0oz baby. He was the smallest little thing I'd ever seen and we were all just totally smitten with him. He was the easiest baby and is now the sweetest little momma's boy. So glad he joined our family when he did.
I'm know things are incredibly tough right now but you will make it through this xx so glad you have HT plans for number 4. I'll pray for an easy road from now on.

May u find peace in your third boy. I wish u all the best with pgd/ivf. U r lucky hun tht dh is agreed upon ht. my hubby refused clearly on going tht route.
So its not an option for me

Did she do gender selection? I haven't been able to find anything on their site saying that they do, and I'm pretty sure that CO doesn't allow it. That would be GREAT if they do :) I'll have to give them a call!

I'm so sorry you're so sad. I think sometimes swaying so hard and getting an opposite is more difficult because you start to think you are guaranteed your DG. The important thing is that your H is willing to go HT next time and that this little boy will be an amazing addition to your family and I'm sure once he arrives you won't be able to imagine life without him.

((((Hugs))))

Knowing you'll eventually have your baby girl hopefully will allow you to enjoy your pregnancy and fall head over heels with your beautiful baby boy!

For what it's worth... Our 3rd son is secretly my favourite! [emoji7]

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Originally Posted by daydrmbelievr

After swaying for over a year and suffering two miscarriages I am SO disappointed to report that my sway failed and I am now expecting boy #3.
I am totally devastated.
In a brief recap, here was my sway....
- no breakfast
- no red meat, very limited meats
- no vitamins
- shallow release, no big O
- FIVE DAY cutoff, yes... five days... DH was actually out of town when I O'd so I know this to be true
- pregnant after cycle following miscarriage/laporoscopic procedure
- Vitex and Saw Palmetto
- negative ions/ girl things under the mattress
- so much more, but my mind is a blur and I can't remember.

My doctors (I saw multiple ones over the past year) all said that swaying and timing don't matter, and I refused to believe them. I am so sad that I swayed SO hard this time, I am having another boy. I am suffering from gender disappointment for the second time around. I did a light sway with DS2 which also failed.

Fortunately, DH is 100% on board with making my dreams come true and we will do IVF/PGD for kid #4, assuring us a girl. If anyone has recommendations, preferably in Colorado, please let me know.

Now, back to crying my eyes out :(

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I feel for you. I discovered swaying while we were TTC baby 2 and believed in timing too, so we were surprised when DS2 arrived. But as we wanted a big family I wasn't too upset. I then found this website and with the help and support of Atomic and everyone else, I swayed hard! So hard that my cycles lengthened to about 44 days long. But DS3 came along. I cried loads between the gender scan and his birth but found choosing his name and picturing him the best therapy. Fortunately for me he's turned out to be my easiest baby. He's now two and makes me laugh literally every single day. So it's off to California for us this time, hopefully in January next year I'll be able to say "yey! it's my girl!"

I didn't sway for a year but I did have the m/c and failed sway and DS3. I was okay with DS2 mostly because I had wanted 3 [living] kids anyway and I figured it would be awesome for DS1 to have a brother but coming to terms with DS3 especially after a failed sway--(similar to yours, add clomid instead of vitex, right after a m/c with a d&c, etc.) . It's hard to get okay with it until he was here, I didn't really want to talk boy names at all, ever. We mostly named him in the OR. But he seriously is the easiest, best baby and fits right in our family like he was meant to be here all along. It does suck. But it will be okay. But it's okay to be sad.

I'm pretty sure multiple ladies from this site have cycled at Conceptions in CO. {If you are a dream member I think you can see them on midwest completed cycles]. We are considering it but it's not local to us and is more expensive than our local clinic where we could afford 2 cycles vs.1 so not sure that we will end up there. Definitely knowing that DH was on board with going HT in a couple years has helped, but I do have to remind myself to enjoy the ride we have now because it's not guaranteed to work and I'd hate to waste DS3's babyhood (and my pregnancy before he was here) thinking about what happens next because it's easier to dwell on that sometimes.

I'm sorry :(


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I'm sorry it didn't go your way.

To the best of my knowledge gender selection is not outlawed in any of the 50 states. There may not be a clinic that is willing to do it, but it's not a state by state basis.

You will get your daughter, I just know it!! She just wanted 3 big brothers instead of 2 😉 conceptions is amazing and I think you will be very happy with any of the doctors there!!

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I'm so sorry. Hearing DS3 was so hard for me, it took me a long time to accept it. However, now he's the most wonderful 2 year old, and of course I could never imagine my life without him. I'm glad you have the option of HT in your future. Hang on to that, the thought of HT was my life line when I was pregnant with DS3.

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Originally Posted by Claire33

I'm so sorry. Hearing DS3 was so hard for me, it took me a long time to accept it. However, now he's the most wonderful 2 year old, and of course I could never imagine my life without him. I'm glad you have the option of HT in your future. Hang on to that, the thought of HT was my life line when I was pregnant with DS3.

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Did you end up doing ht Claire?


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Originally Posted by Hitmebabyonemoretime

Did you end up doing ht Claire?


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She may not see this for awhile. She didn't end up going HT- she had a whoops! baby!!


DS1[emoji125]🏼, DS2[emoji577], DS3[emoji170][emoji577][emoji843][emoji602][emoji170] Jan. '16 I'll sway for a DD[emoji166][emoji171][emoji166] for my DH!!

We were planning on going HT in June 2015, I had contacted the clinic etc, but ended up getting pregnant by accident in December 2014. The stress I felt during the start of that pregnancy was horrible, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I ended up having a blood test done because I couldn't wait any longer. I was very lucky and ended up having a girl, but I never ever ever want to go through the waiting period again, I barely functioned. I'm glad I didn't have to do HT, but if I ever tried again, I would go HT, I'm not risking another natural pregnancy. The thought of having HT as an option helped me through my 3rd pregnancy, it gave me hope that I might one day have a daughter.

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Originally Posted by Claire33

We were planning on going HT in June 2015, I had contacted the clinic etc, but ended up getting pregnant by accident in December 2014. The stress I felt during the start of that pregnancy was horrible, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I ended up having a blood test done because I couldn't wait any longer. I was very lucky and ended up having a girl, but I never ever ever want to go through the waiting period again, I barely functioned. I'm glad I didn't have to do HT, but if I ever tried again, I would go HT, I'm not risking another natural pregnancy. The thought of having HT as an option helped me through my 3rd pregnancy, it gave me hope that I might one day have a daughter.

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Thanks Claire and what a story!! I'm clinging to this same hope too. I swayed for ds4 and ran out and did panorama at 9 weeks 4 days and I've been reeling with gd to the next level... At first when I was faced with never ever having a daughter it was the worst gd ever... And I've had my fair share.... Thanks for sharing :)


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