Timing with my 3rd pregnancy

Hi. I was looking back in my diary from 2011 when I conceived our third child, a boy. We we overseas at the time. We didn't BD very often at all and I hadn't recorded CM but I had recorded O pains on CD 15. We had Bded on CD 1, 2, 10 and twice in a row on CD 13. I don't know for sure which day I Oed on but could've been CD 14, 15 or 16 I guess. Does anything in this pattern cry out boy? We were sharing a bedroom with our other 2 small kids at that time so there weren't many opportunities for BD. I was eating normally, but a lot more rice and bread than usual. Plus I was taking a prenatal every day and still breastfeeding our almost 2 year old daughter. Can BD twice in a row up your odds of conceiving a boy? When we conceived our daughter we had BD 2 days in a row around O time.

Just found my record chart from when we conceived our DD. I recorded 2 pos OPKs on CDs 19 and 20, so I could've Oed on CD 20 or 21. We BD on CDs 14, 17, 19, 20 and 21. My big question is should I try and repeat the BD pattern we did when we conceived our DD? It is pretty much what they call BD through O I think isn't it? Yet in my post above we didn't BD that often and conceived our son. It would be impossible to repeat the exact same pattern, but I am thinking maybe we should BD every 2 or 3 days and then once a day from pos OPK as that would be pretty close to the same pattern we did when we conceived our first DD. I don't remember anything else, but I Know that my diet has always stayed the same and I was taking prenatals daily. Anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

It never comes down to one thing and I personally prefer you guys don't go back over your old charts, calendars, diaries, etc because it's all like smoke and mirrors...you may have gotten a boy or a girl not because of doing X, Y, Z, but in spite of them.

We have seen our success rates drop from 70-75% with one attempt, to 60-65% with two, all the way down to 40% girls conceived even with great sways, with three attempts. This number has stayed darn consistent as well. So it seems pretty apparent that the number of attempts is doing something. This is regardless of timing, frequency, etc

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Originally Posted by 1moregirl

Just found my record chart from when we conceived our DD. I recorded 2 pos OPKs on CDs 19 and 20, so I could've Oed on CD 20 or 21. We BD on CDs 14, 17, 19, 20 and 21. My big question is should I try and repeat the BD pattern we did when we conceived our DD? It is pretty much what they call BD through O I think isn't it? Yet in my post above we didn't BD that often and conceived our son. It would be impossible to repeat the exact same pattern, but I am thinking maybe we should BD every 2 or 3 days and then once a day from pos OPK as that would be pretty close to the same pattern we did when we conceived our first DD. I don't remember anything else, but I Know that my diet has always stayed the same and I was taking prenatals daily. Anyone have any ideas or suggestions?

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It is of course at your discretion what you do, but I personally think it's best to do what has worked for most people, most of the time, and that is one attempt. As you can see with our results, there are still a good chunk of opposites even with more than 1 attempt, but it's the general trend that we see and it's just been so darn consistent that it made a believer out of me (when I started doing this I had not even GUESSED that number of attmepts could do anything so this is not confirmation bias)

There are a thousand reasons why we conceive a child of a certain gender, and I hate to see people get too overly focused on repeating the past or "doing the opposite" that they lose sight of doing what has worked for most people most of the time. You can always get a kid of either gender regardless of any single sway tactic, so I think going back and looking at one thing in isolation when you got your girl and then deciding that is what you ought to do, it's just a step in the wrong direction.

It is of course your sway, your way. :) All I know is I got boys DTD in the pattern you're describing and I got my girl with one attempt.

Yes you're right atomic. I'll stick with the BD every 3-4 days (with condom), plus the one go without condom when I get a positive OPK. is that right? Usually I have two days in a row of positive OPKs and Then I O on the 3rd day. This cycle I have just Oed on CD 17. I used to O on CD 15 or 16 before the miscarriage but this is the latest ever that I have Oed. Is that ok? I didn't use OPKs this time as I didn't have any. I just went by CM and BBT. For this next cycle I will use the clear blue digital O test as I found it great last time. I don't think we will try in Jan because my DH has 2 weeks off and he usually bikes it to work each day (well, he was doing that when we conceived our DD). So I won't try to repeat the past BD pattern but out of the 3 times when we conceived there was only one when DH was biking it every day to and from the train station to go to work and that was when we conceived our one little princess. Anyway, I have appointment with GP tomorrow morning so I will come back and post my numbers - but I think regardless of what those numbers are we will still make one last attempt, otherwise I will be forever wondering and perhaps even regretting that I didn't go back one last time.

the rules are different for you 1more because we are trying to get pregnant quickly without a lot of experimenting so I would have you DTD unprotected every 3 or 4 days, with or without one more attempt at positive OPK.

It's normal to O a bit late now and then and CD 17 is still right within normal range. :)

Biking has ben shown in studies to sway pink. :agree:

Atomic - do we start BD from CD 1 or do you wait til end of AF and then start the BD every 3-4 days? Also, do you recommend one BD attempt as soon as I get the first positive OPK (I usually get 2 days in a row of pos OPKs)? But I shouldn't DTD at pos OPK if our last BD was 2 days prior? I know we say timing is the least important factor of a sway but I really envy those ladies who had clearly diff BD patterns for their boy and girls and could repeat them successfully again. Lol! Also, when we conceived our first child my DH was not cycling to work, yet when we conceived our second and little girl he was cycling to work, and he wasn't cycling when we conceived our third child (boy) - so there really could be something in that I think.

It is normally from the end of AF. Unless you really want to start during AF, it is probably a personal preference but there is no specific time to start. The idea is to just make sure you have at least 1 attempt in during your fertile period.

Atomic has also said with or without an extra attempt at OPK+ so that would probably be up to you to decide.

It is better not to over think it too much. Good luck!!

Thanks Purple. Yes I do have a tendency to overthink things. A hard habit to break I'm afraid. Lol! Even today I looked back in my diary and found that with our third pregnancy (boy) we BD on CD 1 and 2 and then again not until CD 10 and then on CD 13 two times in a row and doggy. I had recorded in my diary at the time that I had O pains on CD 15, so I'm not sure if that was when I Oed or not. We were on holiday overseas at the time and sharing a room with our 2 little ones so the opportunities for BD were few and far between. Lol! And I had completely lost track of when I was meant to O because we'd been sooo busy sight-seeing and meeting relatives so when I checked in my diary a week later I was like Oops! If I had Oed on CD 15 then my pattern of BD on that occasion would've been every 3 days and one in fertile window wouldn't it? Or does BD Twice in a row sway boy? A lot of the time whilst on holiday we were having bread rolls for breakfast, a hot lunch (often big lunches with soup and meat and/or rices) and usually a toasted ham and cheese sandwich for supper. I was taking Elevit and I was still breastfeeding our 1 year old daughter at the time maybe twice a day. I don't really know what I did differently that contributed to getting a boy that last time, but it's all soooo interesting. When we conceived our little pinkie pie in the middle I was still breastfeeding our little boy as well and I was taking Elevit daily and religiously and my diet has always really been the same you know. Only thing different when we got our girl was DH was cycling to and from work every day at that time, something he wasn't doing when we conceived our boys. Fingers crossed we can use that again to our advantage this next time round.

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Originally Posted by 1moregirl

Atomic - do we start BD from CD 1 or do you wait til end of AF and then start the BD every 3-4 days? Also, do you recommend one BD attempt as soon as I get the first positive OPK (I usually get 2 days in a row of pos OPKs)? But I shouldn't DTD at pos OPK if our last BD was 2 days prior? I know we say timing is the least important factor of a sway but I really envy those ladies who had clearly diff BD patterns for their boy and girls and could repeat them successfully again. Lol! Also, when we conceived our first child my DH was not cycling to work, yet when we conceived our second and little girl he was cycling to work, and he wasn't cycling when we conceived our third child (boy) - so there really could be something in that I think.

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It's up to you. Some people don't like BD on their period, others are ok with it. Makes no difference whatsoever.

Husband cycling has been shown in studies to sway pink.

I think you are overthinking the BD pattern. If you're doing every 4 days, then do every 4 days. If you're doing every 4 days plus one more attempt at positive OPK, do that. Don't try to manipulate it to come out on a certain day. Do every 4 days, and then the attempt at positive OPK, if it's the day before or after or two days before it's irrelevant.

I can assure you that there are ladies on this site who got a boy one way, a girl another way, and tried to imitate that for a sway and it didn't work. They got an opposite anyway. So I wouldn't waste any envy on them, just doesn't work that way.

1more, you need to quit thinking of swaying as this all or nothing thing. The best results we can get seem to be about 80% for blue sways, 75% for pink sways, meaning that even with great sways there are still gonna be a fair number of opposites conceived. If you're not swaying, then that would be even less clear because there would have been tons of other things (diet, lifestyle, etc) that could have affected your chances. So you can go over your old diaries if you want to (personally I think that sways blue, but whatevs), it's just not going to TELL you anything. It's like worrying over the menu when the restaurant burns down.

Let's say with your daughter you were actually 65% likely to conceive a boy but just got lucky and got a girl. So you can go over and over your old diaries looking for a trend and the trends you would see may even be BOY friendly, yk??? Same with your sons, you could have been 55% likely to conceive a girl with one of them and 75% with the other and then the flip of the coin just didn't go your way.

It never, ever, ever comes down to one thing in isolation. It just doesn't and the more you "swaycess" over some little teensy detail, even one that feels important like timing/frequency, or IS important like number of attempts, it can even hurt you in the long run by sending a "Martha" signal to your body.

Gotcha Atomic. Yep I'm gonna forget past things I did when I conceived and just adopt a whole new approach this time and see what happens. I don't want to obsess or swaycess, especially when I really want to be more laid back this time round with this sway. Last time I was quite obsessive with everything and look where it go me - miscarried anyway. I'm onto the folic acid, ubiquinol, and Elevit every 2-3 days. Eating a lot more healthy, with a few cheats around Xmas. Not sure if DH will agree to the OLE (actually I think he is currently taking a vitamin D with calcium carbonate supp - is that OK for him for a girl sway?). we will BD every 3-4 days with an extra attempt at pos OPK. Or we may do just the one attempt without condom at pos OPK the first try, and if that doesn't result in a BFP then the next cycle we will change to no condoms right through every 3-4 days with one at pos OPK. We prob won't worry about any lube. Can I ask why Sylk is not fertility friendly? On the bottle it says 99% natural products only and doesn't have any spermicide in it? Has it been found to cause problems conceiving? Anyway, that's the plan, and I will have my fingers and toes crossed that we are successful this time round as it will definitely be our last try. I just have to try not to get hopes up too high and just stay calm about the whole thing.

Nutrients sway less for hubbies than they do for us. I don't like any guys in their 40's taking calcium any more though because it's been linked to increased risks of cardiovascular disease for them - but that's a safety thing and not a swaying thing.

Just because something is "natural" doesn't mean it's good for getting pregnant. Botulism is natural. Straight lemon juice is natural. Even saliva itself kills sperm. Vaginal secretions NOT at ovulation kill sperm. "natural" means nothing. Sperm isn't meant to swim thru a bunch of goop on the way to the egg (well it is, but it's the "goop" called EWCM). Sylk is meant to be a vaginal lubricant. it is not meant to aid sperm in getting to the egg. It has Preseed is specially designed for sperm to be able to get through and has been tested against other lubricants on the market (similar products to Sylk, if not Sylk itself) and Preseed, was second best to EWCM for sperm penetration. The rest of the lubes and even saliva, the sperm either died or couldn't get through the stuff.

if it doesn't say "sperm safe, conception friendly" then don't use it.