Need to vent....sorry

I have concieved FIVE boys in a row (3 living, 2 angels).

I got pg accidentally with a 3.5-4 day cut off...with twin boys (they were #4&5)....then miscarried them, almost died and after I decided to lose weight and go on a strict girl diet to boot and by that time I really just didnt think I could get pg so i wasnt very careful and SURPRISE! I got caught with an early O.

At first I was nervous about having another boy but I was so happy to be pregnant I tried not to think too much about the gender.

Of course what I didnt know was that THIS TIME it worked and I got pg with a girl ON MY OWN without any kind of medical help...a first for me....but of course i ended up losing her too! I took the news rather stoically and thought "well at least I can get pg and at least dh has some x sperm in there"....

But now, today, I am so very angry at the unfairness of it all. I FINALLY conceive a daughter after so many years of failure.....and I should be feeling her kicks right about now...instead I have to start all over. All I can think about lately is how far along I should be, how my life would be different if SHE were coming...and why, why,,,,WHY?!

Why did this have to happen?

Why can't I let it go?

Will she ever come back to me?

Will my dreams ever come true?

I am so, so sorry for your losses. You have been through really traumatic experiences -- it is totally valid for you to have trouble "letting go." I'd say focusing on working through the pain is vital, and talking to a mental health professional is really important.

I DO think you can achieve your dreams. You're in the right place for some support!

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Oh I am so sorry to hear this, I am thinking of you and so wish you did;t have to go through this. Life can be so unfair xx

I'm so sorry you've had to go through so much. No one should have to endure that much heartache. Vent all you like and get it out. I would be angry at the world too.
Sending you virtual hugs :hugs:

Mrs Goodies. I am soooo sorry for your losses my dear. You've been through sooo much. Very sad for you...losing twin boys and then your first little girl. Life is such a bitch sometimes. But don't give up hope Hun. Your dream is still possible and at least you do know you and your DH are capable of conceiving a girl so keep on trying. Sometimes the things we want in life the most are the hardest to achieve but we can do it. Where there's a will, there's a way...I will pray that God blesses you with a rainbow baby girl to love and cherish and mend your heart. Xxoo

I'm so sorry...I wish I had the answers to your questions. I hope I can help in some small way to assist you in achieving your dreams.

Thank you everyone.

I am feeling better today. Got into the sunshine and did some gardening.

I guess what worries me is i know i can concieve boys but i feel like i got lucky last time. I will just keep losing weight and stay on the girl diet and hopefully Lord willing she will return to me. I guess i can start trying next month after it will be 10 weeks on this girly sway food.

My dh has come around to trying again so at least that is one battle won.

Oh yes...you know you can conceive a girl Hun so I'm sure you can do it again. And it's wonderful you have a lovely DH who has agreed to try again. A bit of exercise and time out in the sun and fresh air does wonders to lift your spirits when you're feeling down I find. Keep going the way you are going and think positive for pink. :)

I am having my 5th boy and i feel a loss at not having a daughter. But i think to have carried her and then lost her is so heart breaking.

Its good you have been outside and doing things for yourself. Fx for you when you try again xxx

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Everyone can carry a daughter, there is no known medical reason why a woman couldn't carry a girl. This CAN happen for you again. We have had members have 2 and even 3 successful pink sways after 2-3 boys.

Yep - think positive Hun, as hard as it is some days. We all have good days and bad days when we remember the little ones we lost. But you can carry a girl and it can happen for you again so hang in there and when you are ready to ttc we will all be here to give advice and support. :) xx