Thoughts on BD timing?

Ladies, need some advice. My plan was to dtd e4d, but DH has been pulled out of town for work and it's gotten in the way! [emoji19]. He finally comes home tonight. CB digital has given me high flashing smiley read and I started getting ewcm (not a lot, but some) yesterday and again today. Should we plan to dtd tonight and then again once I get a positive opk (which could be as soon as tomorrow), or should we just hold off until I get a positive opk? Thanks so much!!


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Here's today's chart for reference:

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BD tonight and then again in either 4 days or positive OPK whichever comes first. Don't forget to keep going with e4d after pos OPK attempt too in case of delayed O.

Thanks, Atomic! So tonight, and in the event of a positive OPK tomorrow, then again tomorrow night? Wanting to make sure I only get one time in fertile window. Thanks SO much!

Well, that's not what I'm saying really. You can't GO for just one attempt in fertile window since this is your only month.

You need to DTD every 4 days, just keep going with that pattern, and then whenever you get a positive OPK in addition to that.

What you're describing would be 3 attempts in fertile window possibly.

Do e4d ALL month long before and after O, and then in addition add in one more attempt at pos OPK. Does this make sense?

Since your DH was gone that cycle would be disrupted so I want you to pretend you were doing that, and then start the e4d last night (hopefully you BD) and then again at OPK or at the e4d mark whichever comes first.

Hi Atomic, thanks for your help! My DH got home super late from a delayed flight 2 nights ago, and then last night we had our daughter sick in our bed, so we haven't been able to BD. We also have his mom in town staying with us, so it's made it a bit more complicated. Here's where I need your help and advice dearly...

I'm CD22 today and really thought I'd have the solid smiley this morning on digi as opk's have been getting darker, but not quite positive, but it was another flashing smiley (although I can O anywhere up to CD25). I'm starting to worry that I actually already O'd and my opk's didn't pick it up somehow. We didn't BD last night because I was afraid to get the solid smiley this morning and then feel like I had to BD again, which would be twice in the fertile window. Here are my opk's and my chart. I do have a rise in temps for last two days, but honestly haven't slept well both nights, up a lot with DD, and had a lot to drink the night before to calm down, so not sure if they could be an o rise or due to lack of sleep/drinking.

What do you think? Please let me know what I should do at this point...should I BD when DH gets home in 4 hours, or wait until tonight, or just wait at this point to get the solid smiley on digi (which hopefully is any day now!). Please let me know...

Cheapies on top, started testing twice a day. Last one on bottom of cheapies is from last night at 10pm with a 2 hour hold. The digits are in reverse order, with this mornings on top.

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You need to BD twice in fertile window. I want you to do that because this is your only month trying and you need to be in with a decent chance of conception.

What I don't want you to do is BD 3 times in fertile window because at that point the "blueness" of it may outweigh the boost to conception.

BD as soon as you possibly can. You may never GET a positive OPK. That is why we do the every 4 days method is to cover the situations where people do not get positive OPK. THEN in addition to that, I want you to have another attempt at positive OPK if you get one.

Again, you need to start going with every 4 day method RIGHT AWAY because this is our safety net in case you don't get that positive OPK. Then because you only have one more month at this, we want to add in one more attempt at positive OPK TOO (which will end up being 2 attempts, and that is ok because if you don't get pregnant you have ZERO chance of a DD) but also continue going with every 4 days if you get a positive OPK or if you don't because that is our safety net in case your positive OPK was a faker and you didn't actually O.

You can have both a fake negative and a fake positive OPK. By doing e4d you are at least in with an attempt that way.

I do not recommend you waiting for a positive OPK that may never come. Then your month is gone and you have not had an attempt. please BD right away, again in 4 days' time (and continue with that) and then whenever, if ever you get pos OPK, attempt again then in addition to the e4d.

Thanks atomic. I understand and appreciate you responding so quickly. Is BD tonight too late? Does it literally need to be now? We are out with DD's but can try to swing it somehow lol...


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BD tonight is fine.

Hi atomic! We did BD last night (finally!) and today at 11am had the darkest opk that I've had thus far this cycle (see below, last one). My digi this morning still said high, not peak. I'm not 100% certain that the cheapie below is totally positive, but if I wake up tomorrow and the digi says peak and the cheapie is still dark, should we BD again tomorrow morning or night? Appreciate your thoughts.

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I want you to have two attempts in the fertile window. So far (and please correct me if I have this wrong) you have had one. So yes, I want you to BD again tonight.

So far, we have yesterday (which we will call our E4d attempt) and today (OPK attempt) Then don't have another attempt until you are 4 days out from the first attempt. Have an attempt 4 days after the first attempt, then 4 days after that, and lather, rinse, repeat until you get AF or a BFP whichever comes first.

Our attempt was saturday night, not last night. So should we still BD tonight? Still no peak on digi and the opk's are dark, but not positive today. Attached most recent chart. CM also went from ewcm to creamy, which isn't great, but I'm having a lot of cramps today. Thoughts?

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Right, but your post came thru after I was off for the day so I meant if you hadn't BD last night (which I suspected you hadn't)

I want you in with 2 attempts. Please BD when you can. Worst that will happen is that we'll be too late. :)

Thanks, atomic! Will do tonight!!

Does creamy CM typically mean you can't get pregnant? I see mixed comments online... Not sure why ew went away... :think:

No, it doesn't.

It ~can~ mean that your fertile window is closed BUT many of us have found it went creamy the day before O even occurred, and secondly, studies showed that the CM monitoring was only reliable for detecting the day of O one in 3 times, which is about random chance. (most people can tell they're around ovulation) So you could be 2 days before O and having creamy CM.

This is why they make you wait till days have passed when using natural family planning as birth control.

Thanks so much! We'll see what the next few days bring. So to be clear, BD tonight and then again after 4 days, so then Friday?

Hi Atomic, good morning! We did BD, and I accidentally O'd. I know it's not a make or break, and I've been so good about holding out....really hope it doesn't make a difference in our case. Anyway, temp is still low today and cb digi is still reading high, not peak. I'm CD25, so I'm wondering if this might be an anovulatory month for me. Either that, or it will be the latest that I've ever ovulated (not sure if that's good for egg quality). Anyway, wanted to share....

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Originally Posted by maximbella

Thanks so much! We'll see what the next few days bring. So to be clear, BD tonight and then again after 4 days, so then Friday?

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No, 4 days counting from your FIRST attempt.

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Originally Posted by maximbella

Hi Atomic, good morning! We did BD, and I accidentally O'd. I know it's not a make or break, and I've been so good about holding out....really hope it doesn't make a difference in our case. Anyway, temp is still low today and cb digi is still reading high, not peak. I'm CD25, so I'm wondering if this might be an anovulatory month for me. Either that, or it will be the latest that I've ever ovulated (not sure if that's good for egg quality). Anyway, wanted to share....

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I had one when I got my daughter. I doubt it does anything.

Anov months are really not that common. Most will just O later.

Late O and egg quality - even IF that is true (totally unproven) it is only in VERY long cycles like 4-5-6 months long. I personally do not buy this idea as all your eggs are in your ovaries when you're in your mother's womb anyway. i think this is all down to the fact that people with severe PCOS have poor egg quality and they're also the ones who develop those crazy long cycles. Coincidence.

Thanks! I have an ob appointment on Thursday, so will see if she can ultrasound me and see what's happening (if there is even anything to see). I do have bloating and cramping today, which are usually good signs for me, but we shall see. If I O today and we BD this morning (last BD was Saturday pm), hoping that would be one attempt even though it would be right in top of O.


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Hi atomic, as a follow up...today for another low temp and high (not peak) reading on digi. I have bloating, which is a good sign, but I'm on CD26 now and never O'd this late. I have an ob appointment tomorrow, but we are expecting up to a foot of snow so I'm sure it will be cancelled. Is there still hope for this cycle? Also, last BD was yesterday am, so continuing e4d next BD is Friday?

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Maxim, I really want you to have 2 attempts!!! Because you only have this month you can't do the one attempt.

so far that looks anovulatatory but you will very likely still O.

yes, next BD friday for e4d, but remember I'd like you to add in an extra attempt at pos OPK to boost odds of conception

I'm still testing OPK's, but they have been much less dark than I had previously, and the digi is still reading high (not peak). As soon as I have a positive (if/when that happens), we will def add in another attempt. Otherwise, I'm going with e4d, so again on Friday.

The more and more I think about all of this, the more I realize how much I want/need one more. I am going to sit down tonight with DH and have a serious talk about adding in more months. This stressing over "this is our one month" is causing me to delay O and generally the stress is just bad for me emotionally. If it doesn't happen for us this month, I'm praying that I at least have a few more months ahead to try. If it doesn't happen after 6 months or a year, I'll be much more at peace with it as opposed to having one month to try. Atomic, I'm using the earlier facts that you sent me a while back on how long it takes healthy couples to conceive. Fingers crossed, keep you posted!

Hi Atomic, just wanted to let you know that I went to the ob/gyn yesterday and walked her through everything. She said she won't consider sending me to a RE until we've been trying until at least April with no results. I still haven't ovulated, temps are relatively low...so frustrating! Looks like an anovulatory cycle to me. Any advice at this point?? Should I ask for something to induce AF, or just wait it out?

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You will very likely still O. I want you to add in the serving of full fat dairy and keep going with the eggs you're eating. I personally think this has a lot to do with "a watched pot never boils" since you're eating much the same as you were before (right??)

Thanks, Atomic! I really, really hope I'll still have a chance to O this cycle!

Yes, I've had the same diet for years, literally! Breakfast has for sure been the same since before DD1 was conceived, and the only things that vary are lunch (sometimes switch sandwich for a salad) and dinner is always a variation of the above listed (I know, I'm a creature of habit and boring lol). What is the best source for the full fat dairy, a greek yogurt or something else? And what quantities?

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I personally think this has a lot to do with "a watched pot never boils" since you're eating much the same as you were before (right??)

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I totally agree!

Maxim, here is a sample of a long BFP cycle:
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You will eventually Ovulate and then get your period or a BFP.

No, that's fine, lots of all-girl moms eat the same thing day in and day out. Very common (they actually have a hard time switching it up when swaying blue for this very reason).

Whatever YOU like, and a serving a day.