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Austalian article on gender selection, also on Lateline abc tv tonight.
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Just saw the link on the abc news facebook page to this article. 1.6k comments which show exactly why the woman in this story would not use her real name or even say which state she lives in.
I get so sick of comments that say at least you can have a healthy baby. So many people just don't understand so it just makes the disappointment harder because you can't talk about it!
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I read through some of the comments it's so awful. I don't like those comments about infertility, I struggled to have kids I did ivf but I still have GD. It's not the who's hurting more Olympics. People who fail at ivf don't have people saying to them get over it it's not like your dying of cancer. Someone will always have it worse off then you it doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid and GD isn't real just because other people don't understand it
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I couldn't see the comments, probably better I didn't, would just make me mad. I really feel for the woman in the article, i wish she could access it in Australia, she's not hurting anyone, there are no 'designer' babies happening and the gender ratio will not be skewed. Is this on abc tonight?
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This topic is never discussed by journalists in the right light. Id say 70% of comments were negative in tone with zero empathy whatsoever.
At the end of the day if someone spends 20k of their money undergoing ivf to have a boy or girl bceause they have a few girls or boys already who does this effect, who does this impact i mean really.
Reinstates my thoughts of why im a hermit. Heaven forbid if i felt some way for like a few months.
I couldn't put my own rant in there not mentally prepared for the crap to follow.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
netti02
This topic is never discussed by journalists in the right light. Id say 70% of comments were negative in tone with zero empathy whatsoever.
At the end of the day if someone spends 20k of their money undergoing ivf to have a boy or girl bceause they have a few girls or boys already who does this effect, who does this impact i mean really.
Reinstates my thoughts of why im a hermit. Heaven forbid if i felt some way for like a few months.
I couldn't put my own rant in there not mentally prepared for the crap to follow.
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Arrgghhh, I know, I sometimes feel like offering a different perspective, but not mentally prepared for the backlash it would receive either. Really admire those that speak out and can't work out way people get so worked up about this, especially when these couples are spending their own money, usually using their own DNA and already have a few of the same gender
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This is so frustrating. I don't know why I even get my hopes up that the laws here will change. I'm not sure if we would go GT if it was allowed here or not but I feel powerless that it isn't even an option. If people don't like gender selection then they don't need to go through it if/when they have children but I don't see how someone spending their own money to balance their family is hurting anyone else.
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I have been seeing a lot of these articles on fb and yes the general comment is "Just be thankful for a healthy baby".
I dont think Australia will ever change - too worried about upsetting the minority instead of looking at the bigger picture.
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Here is the episode of lateline (video probably only works in Australia but includes transcript)
Lateline - 07/02/2017: The ethics of gender selection
Also the debate at the end
Lateline - 07/02/2017: Debate: Professor Gab Kovacs and Dr Tereza Hendl
The woman against it seems to think it is all about wanting to "conceive children to fit into preconceived gender roles".
She was really quite focused on it all being about gender roles: "should we promote gender stereotypes, and I think in 2017 it would be important to create a society where children have the space to develop more freely and are not limited by stereotypical gender roles."
The gender roles thing annoyed me as I don't think the small amount of children born via gender selection is going to make society go backwards. So many parents who conceive both genders without having to think about it already have very stereotypical views about girls and boys so that is something that won't change anytime soon. Not all parents are like that however and it would be the same with the parents interested in gender selection.
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I just watched it on catchup, that lady at the end really annoyed me too. For me personally, it has very little to do with gender stereotypes and if anything, having one gender has made me very anti-stereotypes, more so than friends and family with both genders who a lot of the time almost seem to pigeon hole their children into 'boy' and 'girl' roles. The woman in the show also brought up a good point, society is so quick to give their input to your family saying things like 'you must have a girl next' (people have already said this to me!) yet they scorn using science to gender balance a family, you can't win!!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by
BrightSky
I just watched it on catchup, that lady at the end really annoyed me too. For me personally, it has very little to do with gender stereotypes and if anything, having one gender has made me very anti-stereotypes, more so than friends and family with both genders who a lot of the time almost seem to pigeon hole their children into 'boy' and 'girl' roles. The woman in the show also brought up a good point, society is so quick to give their input to your family saying things like 'you must have a girl next' (people have already said this to me!) yet they scorn using science to gender balance a family, you can't win!!
Ikwym.
I have 5 boys and I would still love to have another. The amount of people telling me 5 is plenty and oh the next will be a boy too or your a glutton for punishment etc. Ive also heard the oh you must have a girl.
Honestly ive decided IF we have anymore children i think ill wait til im almost ready to pop or after the birth to announce. I can't handle the drama from everyone else that makes me anxious.
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The thing that annoys me the most about the comments on these articles are they always say things like be thankful for what you have blah blah yet those same people say things like I'm so glad I had both a boy and a girl! Or I don't know what I'd do without a girl. Excuse me just because you got lucky, and never needed gender selection, doesn't mean those of us who do should be stuck with always feeling like something is missing. According to them we are terrible people, just for wanting what they have. They need to learn to have some empathy. Compared to other people, I'm much less gender biased. I gladly got my son a doll, and have no problem with him playing with pink toys. I hear mothers make a big deal that their daughter plays with cars or their sons play with dolls, and I'm like really? Why wouldn't they play with the toys that are in front of them? It's like I'm more determined to not follow gender stereotypes because I want to prove that it was never about the pink or girly stuff that made me want a daughter
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Hi there - I am a journalist working on a piece for a national women's magazine on gender selection through IVF. I am really keen to hear from Australian women who have travelled O/S for IVF. My deadline for the piece is March 5, so please get in touch if you would be interested in chatting. I can provide more details on the angle of the story then. My email is gyanyankovich@gmail.com
