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I think you know this already but put me in Camp Rathole. :)
Most clinics don't pay much attention to what "the other guy" did before them.
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I think that oftentimes they don't totally trust the finesse/skill of the clinic involved.
Meaning - let's say the protocol was perfectly perfect in every way, but there was some other factor going on that prevented a good result. An ongoing technical issue or something that leads to poorer outcomes. The second clinic would not be doing you any favors by changing protocol if they think it was an entirely different problem - such as poor practices in the lab or inferior conditions inside the clinic in some way that may make their results less. They would actually not be serving your best interests changing a correct protocol to be different than the other guys if they think the issue lies elsewhere.
Plus, IVF is one of those things that there is a level of known unknowns and unknown unknowns inherent in the process - they do not know why people's cycles may fail. So they can do everything the exact same and one month a woman has no viable embryos and in a different month doing nothing any different, some magical something is changed and she gets good results. Medically, if a certain protocol is what is indicated and that is what the doc thinks will get best results, you don't always want them to change that just so it looks like they're doing something, if that makes sense. :)
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But the fact is - and I'm sorry that this is the case, but it is what it is - your odds at 40 are not good anywhere. That's, I think what people are trying to get across to you. Whether you do 2 cycles at a cheap clinic or one at an expensive one, the results very likely may be the same (no money and no baby) and ~I personally~ hate to see you do anything but the best of the best in this case because you are going to need every scrap of whatever magic the doctor can pull from his bag of tricks to make this happen for you. I feel like we are talking about running one race with a hundred stone weight around your neck, or running two races with a hundred stone weight around your neck, and there is a difference in the entry fee but the odds are not any higher that you'll win with 2 races than just one since the weight is still going to be around your neck.
I'm sorry. I so wish that they could figure out how to make this more effective for moms over 38ish but it just isn't at this point in time. Wishing you good luck no matter what.
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Awww SoFull - I totally agree and I think a lot of women our age were sold a bill of goods on that, unfortunately, where we were taught we had to do all this stuff first and the family would wait. :(
The gender disappointment angle really adds another wrinkle since as we both know firsthand if one does want both genders it makes it even harder to sneak in under the wire with our fertility.
Wishing you the best of luck moving forward with your HT rounds - I'll be cheering you on. :cheer:
I'm sorry but I have to disagree - slightly.....maybe I was lucky, but I didn't start having my family until I was 38, and I had a fab fab fab life beforehand with my gorgeous husband and father of my children. I didn't want children earlier and to a very large extent I'm still happy with our decision, apart from the odd occasion that it would be lovely to have a lie that all of our similar age friends can now do.... We are so lucky that it all worked out for us in the end and also incredibly lucky that the hard work we did earlier paid off so that our children can have a much better life than they probably would have done if we had had them 15 years earlier.....Will be sad though that I probably won't get to spend much time with my grandchildren, certainly grow up ......SFOH, if I had found this site and read everything on it earlier i would never have embarked on my mad HT journey as I had no idea odds etc were so stacked against me...(don't get me wrong, I love this site and it's been so helpful) but I now wouldn't have my gorgeous DD. Please please please don't give up, just have your pre-testing done asap[, see what the results are and then go into it with your eyes wide open.....(PS. there really isn't or wasn't a huge difference in Genesis and HRC costs, travel aside, so do just work that one out....) Sorry for ramble. Hugs and hope you get your dream xx
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Hate to tell you this, but depending on pre-tests your meds will cost loads more than EUR 1,000 at Genesis (not sure who has quoted you that?) - three years ago I think mine were around Euro 3,000, possibly even more....you can also get HRC to prescribe and buy from on-line IVF pharmacy or ASDA. I'm from UK too, and yes, flights are more, but you can get deals on them if you go out of season, obviously no where near as cheap as Cyprus, but unless things have changed dramatically accommodation, food etc, really isn't. Again, I was lucky cost wasn't an issue for me, and DH left a sample in Newport beach, but when I really broke the two down, the difference was pretty minimal but success rates hugely different, so it might be worth just doing the sums again. All of that said, in the end I went back to Genesis...really good luck and hope things turn out for you. x
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