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Hi! Gafan and I thought it would be cool to start a thread for those of us that had a failed prior sway and are TTC girl. We can share ideas, encourage each other, and hopefully have some laughs and of course successful sways this second time around!
Yes! This is awesome-great idea ladies!
I've been swaying all last year waiting for my ppaf to return after ds2 was born in December 2016 (swaying opposite)
Still waiting for it to come back so have eased up on exercise and diet abit over Christmas and will hopefully be ttc from May(do not want another December/ Christmas or holiday period baby!)
I started back exercising this week but only 3-4 days as it's so hot here now!
Still skipping bfast having 2-3 meals, coffee and alcohol and mostly vegetarian ( have had some white meat over holidays)
Good luck girls!! Look forward to following your journeys!
I wonder where you are kittendreams? It is cold and winter here in Pennsylvania, USA. I have been on the elliptical, walking for 50-60 minutes, and my goal is 6 days a week. I don't push myself hard but sweat a little and Atomic said that even just waking is ok. (I worried that my previous sway resulted in a boy perhaps partly due to exercise not being strenuous enough.) My little boy is almost 3.5 and I am hoping for a successful sway this time but of course feel grateful for him. I think we'll start TTC in Feb or March as I just started the LE diet, modified (includes some meat). Skipping breakfast has made me a bit irritable but isn't too bad. BJH - how are you doing with your diet? It sounds like it is going well for you?
I'm in Australia Gafan so its the middle of summer for me.
Your exercise sounds perfect for a girl sway- well done!
With my previous sway I did no exercise so I determined to include it this time- fx it works!
Thanks. I am reading atomics series on how OCD type anxiety about following a sway just right can sway boy. Finding a way to be more laid-back without obsessively trying to be more laid-back can be a challenge! Do either of you feel it is challenging to be kind of laid back about this especially after having a first sway not work out the way we had hoped? In some ways I feel like I'm a more laid-back person since becoming a mother- realizing that so many more things in life are Beyond controlling then I had previously felt. I'm not exactly a perfectionist but especially with the beginning part of learning this way I can get pretty obsessed with the details.Quote:
Originally Posted by kittendreams
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Good luck to you to kitten! I need to hurry up and get exercising!Quote:
Originally Posted by kittendreams
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I was doing well on the diet and then the last few days I kinda fell off the wagon so next week I'm starting up again and I'm looking for a treadmill to buy second hand as it will be hard to walk or run outside here soon as I'm in Denver.Quote:
Originally Posted by gafan
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Joining! I'm thinking of starting a sway in the next few months and figuring out how to get it right (not obsess, just find a few ways to tweak it that may help more). This will be #4 after 3 boys.
Yay! One of my best friends swayed and got her little girl after 3 boys [emoji173]Quote:
Originally Posted by JJ66
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Welcome JJ! Fx you get your little girl xx
Welcome JJ66!
Hope it is ok if I join too, trying not to get too obsessed with my sway this time though. My DS2 is only 5 months and I call him my sway opposite (by no means a fail as he is the most precious gift and so loved by his brother and I wouldn't swap him for the world). I don't know if I will get the chance to try again as DH saying 2 is enough but trying to convince him to try for our little girl one last time before he gets the snip. Last time I was on the LE diet for 6 months with exercise but had to relax diet and exercise towards the end as not too much weight left in reserve so going to not really sway as such this time as I think my obsessive qualities and eating disorder history backfired on me. This time just trying to limit meat and cut out snacking. I have recently stopped breastfeeding DS as he refused to feed and only wanted bottles after being sick and needing them early on. Want to be on a no snacking/minimal meat lifestyle ft one or two months at least before ttc girl if DH agrees. Not sure if to add exercise or not as middle of summer here and hot so not sure I can stick to it with a 2 yr old and 5 month old. Good luck to all
Hey Kelbear welcome and goodluck! I'm in Australia too and my sway opposite ds2 is 13 months.
I hear you on the heat! Just got hubby to bring my treadmill in from the garage so I can exercise in the air con.
Fx your DH agrees to try again- my hubby also said 2 was the limit but he came around and is fully on board now.
I really hope you get your girl xx
Welcome Kelbear! My husband said we were only having 2 as well but has finally agreed to try one more time for a princess [emoji173]Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelbear
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Thank you both for your replies. I really hope I can convince DH to try once again. I will stick to a relaxed LE diet for the next two months just in case he agrees then see how we go. Just trying to not obsess over every detail this time but it's hard as it will definitely be our last try if we go ahead.
Can I ask how you managed to convince DH to go for #3? Think mine is pretty adamant 2 is it 😔
Hi Kelbear! I also have a husband that was happy with 2. He was never adamant about it, but made it clear that he was perfectly fine being done. I kind of stopped talking about it for awhile, and just enjoyed time with them. Then this fall he actually brought it up. He knew I wanted a third, and was willing but had concerns. His were the cost of delivery, our car situation, and lack of babysitters. We’ve mostly figured those things out. He’s still nervous, but excited. Maybe addressing some of his concerns about having a third would help?
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That's great advice Greydore.
My hubby actually would have been happy with 1 but I wanted a sibling for our first so that was easy to convince him.
To get him on board with a third it was more that he could see how much I desire a girl so he eventually came around to trying one more time. I think he is the kind of guy who will say no but if I give genuine reasons he will come around.
Every hubby is different though and it really depends on his reasons for only wanting 2.
My hubby's main reasons were space, money, practicality etc the usual... but ultimately I'm the one who has to carry, birth, raise them day to day so he realised that if I think I can handle 3 and I'm willing to make sacrifices then so can he for my happiness... happy wife- happy life?
I think guys are often more practical minded ( although my hubby is way more sensitive than me lol) whereas women are often more driven by emotions and mothering and childbearing is such a strong emotional and physical desire!
Once my hubby got his head around the practicality of it with cars, rooms and finances he was fine.
Good luck I really hope you can convince him xx
It's nice to hear that others had to make a strong case for another baby to get their husbands on board. My husband finally officially agreed yesterday that we can try for another, which would be our second child. Whenever we'd have the discussion part of it would center around his "practical minded" list of reasons why another would be more complicated (of course it would!) and since he doesn't actively have a desire for another kid it was really complicated to decide for sure on trying for #2. I agree that a big part of my decision is emotional/physical, and part of it for me is probably that I have a sister/2 kids in my family of origin so it's hard for me to imagine being an only child.... I think my OPK showed a positive twice, but I just started my sway 2 weeks ago and have actually gained a couple pounds (?!!?) so I'm going to wait another month to try. Atomic agreed with my idea that waiting for 6 wks of sway is likely to be more effective, and the girl months (statistically, not scientifically) are March/April/May I think so Feb. would be closer to that. I just turned 39 and had a miscarriage a couple months ago so today I'm biologically nervous not to try but I want the sway to have a chance!
Welcome, Kelbear! I hope your more relaxed approach to swaying is helpful. I'm trying to work on that without working on it. I'm grateful for my sway opposite too : )
Btw, I'm not sure how to delete my little watermelon from my signature yet... my baby is almost 3.5 years old now.
I convinced my hubby for baby #4 to try for a girl (we have a girl, boy, boy right now.) We were both super bummed to find out we are having another boy for #4 and although I’m so happy that I have my girl, I really wanted her to have a sister and now I’m fighting the thoughts that we should have just stopped with 3 kids. Like it would have been worth it if it was a girl but it’s a boy so it’s not. It’s been getting easier and I’m now excited to meet him in a few months. But it took me years to convince the hubby to agree to #4 and I didn’t realize how devastated we would be to find out it’s another boy. But I (think) I am excited about having 4 kids regardless of gender! And I know it will be worth it when I meet my precious baby boy. But it’s hard to let go of that girl dream. I just felt guilty for having a boy and felt so responsible. My husband really wanted to stop with 3 kids. Just wanted to tell my story with you. ❤️
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Thank you for sharing your story debahlgrim. I hope you are filled with love for you next little DS when he arrives and am sorry you were not able to have another DD. I understand that feeling of sadness/loss at not getting your desired gender but hope that in time you can come to terms with it .the decision as to whether to try again after a failed sway is a hard one and I know if we try again and it is another boy I will feel like I have fail my DH in not being able to give him a daughter. I think if we were guaranteed to get s girl third time around he would maybe contemplate it but knowing there is a high likelihood it could be another boy he doesn't want to try again mainly due to the financial cost, not enough space in our house and both of us getting older. One of the hardest decisions I have had to make, I love my two boys dearly but still feel like something is missing. Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. My hubby is definitely focused on the practical side of having 3 instead of 2 whereas I am much more emotional about it. Our DS doesn't even sleep through the night yet so DH would not even contemplate #3 yet but I know if we are ever going to try we only have a short window of time left due to our age.
Hello!i have 4 boys, and my last son was a hard sway for a girl. I definitely have severe gender disappointment and depression. We started swaying 3 months ago, I got pregnant last month, and just had s miscarriage on the 6th...so a few days ago,. We are trying one last time for our DD and I hope and pray it works this time.
Pink dust my way! Any tips besides the known would be greatly appreciated ❤️
I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage 4boys, and I hope you can get your little girl soon. If I recall correctly I think a recent miscarriage sways pink but other than that I can't help as I am still to get my little girl too. Good luck
Thank you for sharing your story Debahlgrim. You did what you could with your sway and a big part of this comes down to his sperm, although I know it's hard not to feel guilty. There are so many layers of hope and grief when it comes to building our families and I hope you can be gentle with yourself.Quote:
Originally Posted by Debahlgrim
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Age is such a frustrating factor. I found the article in the Atlantic that atomic posted very helpful but it's still suggest having your baby by 40 if you can and if this sway works out I will be 40. Having just experienced a miscarriage in November I'm worried that if I have another miscarriage I might age out of a second baby. Also with my first being about four and a half by the time the baby is born, I wonder about the age spread and how much energy I'll have to be a good enough mom.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelbear
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4boys I am sorry to hear if your miscarriage. Sending pink dust.
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Thank you for sharing Debahlgrim, I share your fears, we have 2 beautiful boys and my husband would like to be done and I'm scared if per my insistence we try for our girl and end up with another boy that I will feel really badly and guilty to boot.Quote:
Originally Posted by Debahlgrim
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Hi 4Boys, I am so sorry for your loss, welcome to our little group, if nothing else we know we have support and understanding here [emoji173]Quote:
Originally Posted by 4boysandneedagirl
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So my sister is visiting today and I ate a lot.... way over the limits for the day I think and no exercise. And while I know it is fine to take a day off the diet here and there I also get nervous that this is how we got our boy on the last sway. My sister had her wedding then, and we had a vacation and lots of other foods.... How do you ladies stay motivated to eat well? Any tips appreciated!
LOL, I have the same question, I've been a pig this week, period just started and the few days before I REALLY struggle!
Hey everyone! I have had 2 failed sways and 2 boys conceived on clomid. So it’s hard for me to know where to go next. After 1, I changed some things and thought all I need is another shot. Well after 2, it’s like ok now I really don’t know what to do. I didn’t do any supps, or anything that didn’t have solid numbers. I did one attempt with both. LE first time and pcos LE 2nd time. I’m hoping atomic has some new insight. I just ordered a new plan. The only thing I do feel a little upbeat about is. Just from a simple roll of the dice. I’ve conceived 3 boys in a row. The odds have to be increasing that next one is girl. No?
Hi Skimsey! One of my best friends had 3 boys in a row and then her princess so it does happen! [emoji4] I may be trying Femera instead of Clomid when the time comes, I've been wanting to ask Atomic which one sways more girl [emoji173]Quote:
Originally Posted by Skimsey
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Welcome skimsey
Wow I understand why you would be feeling at a loss with two sway opposites. My fingers are tightly crossed for you this time!
Did you do the exercise last time? If not that is what I would do- I didn't with my sway opposite so am determined to do it this time.
Also struggling with diet ATM- lots of visitors and celebrations here and I'm giving in to temptation too frequently!
Yeah- I forgot that my period was starting today. Yesterday and today I felt like I just wanted to eat all the sweets I could!Quote:
Originally Posted by BJH2018
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Welcome Skimsey! I suppose if we are basing it on odds and statistics, you probably do have a better chance the third time. And maybe with two kids your general anxiety and stress are higher than before and that sways pink. I understand you worrying though. I am curious to hear what Atomic suggests if you care to share. I did get the impression that her understanding of all of this is evolving a lot over time, so you'll get the most up-to-date recommendations.Quote:
Originally Posted by Skimsey
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Sounds like we're all struggling to stay on the diet. How are you ladies doing with exercise? Apart from yesterday I've been pretty on top of the timing of exercise, although I still don't push myself too hard while exercising. Motivation is tough!Quote:
Originally Posted by kittendreams
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I'm thinking of getting a cheap treadmill for my house, it's hard to get to the gym and it's cold here in Denver so being outside sounds in fun [emoji854]Quote:
Originally Posted by gafan
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Hi Skimsey,
I'm interested in your post too. I think I did a pretty good LE with exercise, 1 attempt, dropped a lot of weigh but still had opposite sway. I know ladies here and atomic said its not foolproof but i'm also wondering if perhaps some of us are just more prone to have boys and we can sway and try but it may not be enough to overcome how we are made up to be. I'm interested to see what Atomic says too. It sounds like you had 2 really good sways one with LE and then one LE pcos. Would you consider HT?