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I suffered a miscarriage yesterday and heartbroken doesn’t begin to describe how I feel right now. I was so excited and ready for this new little bean. My dr wants me to wait 3 months before trying again and I’m honestly ok with that. I think the wait will be beneficial for me.
I want to continue my sway, as all I had going for it was diet and excersizing.
Any advice or input would be greatly appreciated
Very Sorry for your loss
So sorry for your loss!
Thank you so much ladies, I really appreciate it!
Im very sorry:(
Oh I am so sorry for your loss. I had been following your progress and sway. Thinking of you and sending you lots of love
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Oh no I'm so sorry to read this.
You do NOT need to wait 3 months. It is fine if you want to, but that is not supported as necessary by any medical facts if the loss was straightforward.
If you want to TTC sooner, then just pick it up from where you were and try to catch the first egg. if you want to wait the 3 months, you'll need to go easier on diet and exercise and pace yourself over time so you don't end up losing too much weight.
So sorry for your loss.
Thank you all so much for being so kind, I can’t tell you all how much a truly appreciate it!
Thank you so much atomic. I feel like I want to wait the three months, mostly because I don’t think I’ll be ready emotionally enough for this next cycle, and then the two after that will have Due dates in either nov/dec and those were two months I didn’t want to be due in, just because of birthdays/holidays and what not.Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
Would I still have to go easy on diet/excersizing if I still have a bit of weight to lose? I gained some weight these past weeks on top of still having about 30 lbs to where I would have ideally liked to have been. As I’m still not at a “normal” weight.
Would you think waiting the 3 months before ttc again would sway boy? I found out Friday that I was not as far along as I thought, only 2-3 weeks, and while I know sadly later losses sway pink or could sway pink I feel like I was so early it probably makes no difference?
I’m so so sorry. I can’t imagine. Take the time you need to heal, I’ll be thinking of you.
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So sorry for your loss. I dont think it matters how soon or how much you wait in order for you to sway. Just take it day by day and whenever you feel ready that is up to you. Waiting the 3 months that your doctor said is a good choice since it gives your body time and lets you track you periods and ovulation. So you can be able to sway. But it also gives you time to prepare yourself emotionally. I dont think none of us can go against what your doctor advised you. But then again that is completely up to you to when you want to try again.
No, I don't think it sways blue, it is that most women are desperate to try again and there is hardly ever a compelling medical reason to wait. There is especially not a reason to wait 3 months being 2-3 weeks along. The vast majority of doctors would agree with me. There used to be a strong "women are hysterical" thread in medical advice and so doctors had women wait because they were perceived to be mentally unbalanced after suffering a loss but it's not true that you need to wait that long after an early, uncomplicated loss and like I said, many women feel better trying. If you are not in that category, that is totally cool, follow your heart, it's just that I don't want you operating on bad/outdated info when making a decision.Quote:
Originally Posted by Prayingforagirl67
Please stop picking fights with me. I don't know what your problem is but I am here to help people and I would really appreciate it if you stop undermining what I am telling people particularly in a loss-related thread where us having a quibble is really bad form since it should really be about the original poster and her needs. If you would like to start your own site where you can advise people in whatever manner you would like, please be my guest.Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma bear 4
I absolutely CAN tell people to go against what their doctors have said when what their doctors have said is wrong. Doctors give out bad information sometimes. The vast majority of all experts (and I am not talking about me, I'm talking about doctors, fertility experts, and so on) would not ever recommend waiting 3 months after an uncomplicated loss of a pregnancy that was 2-3 weeks along. It's old outdated advice based on the concept that all women are mentally unhinged and incapable of running their own lives, and very few doctors are doing things that way any more (honestly, many doctors are having people try sooner than I feel comfortable with, especially after a D and C.)
Lots of women really, really want to try after having a loss. They feel it will be emotionally healing to them to do that. I follow the best guidelines I can based not on my personal moods or whims but on studies and what most people's doctors are telling them to do. I help so many women that I have witnessed firsthand the recommendations of doctors around the world and very few (like practically NONE) are having women wait 3 months for an uncomplicated early loss. Just isn't done.
I don't know what your issue is the last 2 days but while I am always happy to debate, discuss, explain, and provide data to back up the stuff I say. But I will not waste my time doing that for someone who has a snotty tone and a condescending air and is acting like I am giving out bad information to people when the fact of the matter is I turn myself upside down and inside out to bring people the best info for health, safety, and swaying and have for many years. If you dislike this site, here are plenty of other sites on which you can talk about your opinion on coffee and when to try after a loss all you'd like to but I don't have to put up with it (and I won't.)
Thank you so much greydore. I appreciate it!
I believe I read that somewhere,about women being unstable to try again. everything I’ve been reading online says it’s usually better to try earlier. I have a lot of concerns, mostly pertaining to my sway prior to my bfp as well as during the short time I was pregnant. Before my bfp Diet was a little wishy washy, and excersize was also pretty much non existent. Then for the short amount of time that I was pregnant I was on a very blue friendly diet. So I feel like from Christmas on, I was just not on my A game for my sway. I’m definitely torn because I’m finding myself wanting to try this next cycle but feeling like I kind of ruined my sway. Today it hit me like a ton of bricks that I’m so not wanting to wait the three months, but definitely do not want to be due in November. I’m just feeling torn. We were so excited to be having a September baby, we felt it was perfect timing. I think if it ends up when the next egg drops that I’d be due in October I’d be ok with trying again. I just really hope the month or so off of my sway won’t be of any concern.Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
Thank you again for your advice atomic, I do really appreciate it!
I am so very sorry for your loss, I've been there and it is crushing [emoji174] Biggest hugs to you!Quote:
Originally Posted by Prayingforagirl67
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I am so sorry for your loss. I just suffered a miscarriage as well. Mine was “missed” and so devastating. I feel your pain sweet mama. Praying for you.
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You certainly are not alone. After having a miscarriage just before Christmas I have realised just how common it is. I know you are heartbroken now, and I was too, but it does get easier. You will have your down days, but hang in there. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx
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What are you talking about atomic. We all just saying our opinions. I didnt refer anything to you. You in the other hand posting in my threads how things is debunked how this and that is not true just because things hasnt been true for others. Everyone has their opinion. So please stop I am not picking fights with you.
Anyone can start getting pregnant again as soon as they want whenever they feel mentally and physically ready. You dont have to like my opinions. But I will answer peoples questions and share what has worked for me. Whats wrong with that? Not saying that what worked for me it will work for everyone but if they asking I will be happy to answer instead of oh no we all have found out that is not true dont waste your time because it didnt work for us.
I speak for myself not for everyone. Stop disrespecting me. You think I am been snobby because I dont change my opinion to agree with yours then thats your opinion. I never disrespected in any way like you are doing with me. Get a grip. Is okay for you not to like other opinions but dont expect me to shut up mine and just go with the flow oh yeah is been debunked and this and that.
Like I said I have my own opinion. Lastly I dont think this is the time and place to discuss this. You could of simple had sent me a message instead of using someones thread which is rude dont you think?
This is ridiculous!
I’m so sorry. I’ve had 3 miscarriages. Two were back to back, and then the very next month I got pregnant with my beautiful and healthy double rainbow baby girl. Who is now 4 years old.
Then my 3rd came in July 2015. We started trying right away but didn’t get pregnant until October. That gave me my DD3. We were trying for late February, but ended up with our third June baby. I was a bit disappointed with having another due in June at first, but now it doesn’t matter at all, and we just make it work [emoji4] don’t get me wrong though, I completely understand where you are coming from. I still want to avoid June when we try for number 7! I just wanted to share my story and give you big hugs!!!
Mommy to 6 little blessings.
Hoping to try for #7 in 2019
I talk to people every day, hundreds of them, from all around the world, with different opinions than me. I've done it for years and rarely have a problem with people. As I say at least 10 times a day, it is YOUR sway, YOUR way. People wanna use other sway tactics? Cool, let's figure out the best way to do that! You think coffee sways blue? Don't drink coffee! Doesn't change the fact that 21 of 23 people got girls with 3 or more cups of coffee a day.Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma bear 4
You can say whatever you want in the forums, and think whatever you want, but I have to correct misinformation when it's posted (and I will). I answer every question posted with my opinion, because I'm the forum leader. It's what I'm here for. Some people choose to portray that as me "stifling disagreement" but it is because I want people's sways to work for them and so I prefer to stick with what works and is safe and leaves people a chance of getting pregnant. Someone coming along giving info that misleads people into doing something that directly undermines their sways, their happiness, or their sanity, I have to say something. It's my job to do that. Push back if you want to.
It has NOTHING to do with disagreement. I don't appreciate the snarky tone and the implied eye roll and acting like I am deliberately misleading people or trying to harm them or wreck their sways and it was in several threads all right in a row. I was not imagining that. I didn't start anything with you, I was just doing my normal daily routine. Didn't have a care in the world. Barely even knew your username. But when I get snarky remarks, I detect and react to them and when they all come from the same person all right in a row I start to wonder what the deal is.
This is what your posts have sounded like to me: "Yeah right whatever atomic, all the other sites say this, and you're telling people to go against their doctors, and some things are true for other people and not everyone (never said different, BTW, none of these things are magic bullets) and basically I would just like to make the point crystal clear that you don't know what you're talking about and I think you're pretty stupid." Now maybe that wasn't your officially stated intention but I kinda think it was the point you were trying to get across. Message received. Start your own site then. Or go someplace else. The Internet is a BIG place, room for everyone here. But I don't need to read this stuff in my day. Makes me unhappy in case you hadn't figured it out and I prefer to save my energy for the 99.99% of people who are on this site who don't make me unhappy, and my children.
I am a human being with actual feelings and emotions and I really do work hard for you guys - to keep you safe and healthy, for your sways to succeed, and to offer emotional support in the face of gender disappointment and losses. That is what I do every day with joy in my heart to be able to do it, and I don't deserve someone tossing out little nasty remarks, when all I am doing is trying to help people.
I don't play games where I private message people behind the scenes to tell them what to say and what not to say. I deal with people openly in the forums when they post openly in the forums. Don't start nothing, won't be nothing. There are plenty of other sites out there that agree with your opinions. Go to one of them. Or start your own site. Or stay here. I don't hold grudges and I would be happy to help anyone but I don't like thinly veiled passive aggressive comments smacking me in the face when I'm just trying to go about my business.
Remember, though, I really think you were worrying about nothing with your sway. Usually when people think their sway was not good, they are making it out to be worse than it really was. Follow your heart and if you find it gives you peace of mind to try sooner, that's fine with me. But if you will live 1000 lifetimes of regret if you try and get an opposite, then by all means wait. I just didn't want you to think you HAD to wait because the 3 months thing is really falling by the wayside for most doctors where early uncomplicated losses are concerned. :heart:Quote:
Originally Posted by Prayingforagirl67
Wow you really like to twist my words. Do you think long replies changes anything? Listen, at the end of the day you will think the same and so will I.Quote:
Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush
So really I dont see a point to why you are trying to bash me for. No where did I said hey dont listen to atomic or said those words that you said. Dont put words in my mouth that I didnt say. Let people decide what they want to believe or not. I no where said oh you should believe me instead of atomic. No did I? No where did I even mention your name. And never did I went on peoples threads to start a long conversation about our disagreement. I never even notice we had one. Until you started getting all pissy. You have went and wrote me lomg replies in all these threads. Thats out of porportion.
To refresh your memory I simply said my opinion and I just let it be up to them to decide. I never said oh dont listen to her.
Once again I simply shared my experience. Look at the way you coming at me and making really long unecessary replies for no reason. I am sure you never had nobody speak up like the way I have but I wont let you lie and say things about me that arent true. Dont sit here and lie that I attacked you. I replied unintentionally in what 3 threads that you were in. Like if I purposely looked for specific threads just because you were in them just to attack you come on seriously. Enough of this foolishness and admit you took it out of porportion and know how to apologize and let go. It was never my intention to do the things that you accusing me of.
So since you have brought this up upon yourself, will there still be a Old Wives Tales and Symptom Guessing and a gender prediction forum for ramzi,nub theory or anything like that or no because it has been debunked and because you dont believe in OWT. Many of us would still like to get some guesses and of course we know is just that a "guess:. ( to ease your mind put a disclaimer that is just a guess) Please enough of your long replies. And again I dont think this is the place to discuss this especially in someones thread.
Hope this ends this silliness of yours and go about your way. I wont engage is this unnecessary drama of yours anymore. Makes you sound insecure.
Just because you own this site gives you no right to call anyone stupid just because they dont think the same as you. I am glad you putting this all out here for everyone to see how you really are.
Have yourself a great day!
I think you need to reread Atomic's reply because she never called you stupid. You actually have been giving people false information (you may not have done it deliberately though) by telling people "coffee sways boy" because you got a boy with it and because other sites say so and saying breastfeeding doesn't sway either way. Based on our stats here, which go back for several years, we have found this to not be true and there is a lot of science to back up our pink sway tactics. Just because your own personal experience doesn't fit exactly with the pink or blue sways we have here, does not mean they don't work. The evidence you're basing your observations on with swaying is anecdotal.
How is it false information? Because is a personal experience? Where is proof that it sways only pink?. Literally you cant drink or not drink coffee and expect to get a specific gender is more to it like I said before. And no where did I called her stupid so why she even saying that. Also about breastfeeding where is proof it sways only girl. They are threads on here where they have been ladies that been breastfeeding and have had boys so again where is proof that it only sways girl.
When someone asks why coffee supposedly sways girl and tea sways boy. She didnt had a valid explanation to back it up. She said: "Keeping in mind that this is sheer speculation on my part because we don't have the research yet"
So no I am not giving people false information. I just said what happend in my experience. Let me clarify this whatever scientific studies you have found doesnt mean is going to work for everyone. Just like what sway worked for me doesnt mean it will work for someone else. But when someone asks what worked for us we going to answer with our personal experiences. Whats wrong with that? Is it because it doesnt coincide with your scientific research? How long are we going to keep going back and forth with this. Enough is enough.
Prayingforagil67, I'm so sorry for your loss. I also just had an early miscarriage (saw a few faint bfps, which didn't get darker, and started bleeding a few days later). To say the truth, I took it much easier this time, and wanted to try as soon as possible. I lost my twin girls 15 months ago (28 weekers), and it took me 10 months to somewhat heal emotionally and physically and want to try again, and if not my age (just turned 39) I may have waited longer. And after 5 months of trying, I had this chemical, so I don't want to waste more time. By the way, I think I ovulated a few days earlier than usual if to count first day of bleeding as cd1. So I may have had not a good timed attempt. Just wanted to share my story and warn you to be attentive to not miss your ovulation if you decide to try this month. They say it may happen earlier, in time, or later, so you never know. Hugs.
Momma bear 4, I was following your "discussion" and hardly keeping myself from engaging, but this last comment of yours... you sound like a complete "newbie" to this site. Please read just a few of the main essays of atomic, explanations and statistics (or simply read couple of threads other than gender prediction by OWT or ramzi) of this site and only then argue with her. She is in swaying for more than 7 years, and has gone waaay more than just mentioning her own experience.
Sunstars- I never wanted to argue she the one that started going after me. I am only speaking for myself. I am not going to sit here to who has more knowledge or experience. But if you want to know I have swayed for my first 3 kids with success with my own research. My last two I didnt sway. I speak from my experiences. But that doesn't matter right? This is getting beyond ridiculous. I have not only read those forums but I have been reading other peoples threads and experiences as well.
I think you're missing the point. By saying that coffee, breastfeeding, or whatever sways, we're not saying that if you do those things a girl/boy is guaranteed. We're saying that it HELPS sway one way or another. A group of scientists coming to the conclusion that coffee can help reduce the risk of type II diabetes doesn't mean that we're all saved from ever getting diabetes. It just means it helps protect us from it and that is important. Deny it all you want but we have the studies and the stats to back up a lot of our findings. Have you looked at our stats spreadsheet? If most of the people who had lots of coffee got girls over the years of this site being open, then I think it's safe to say there's a link between the two. You don't have to agree with the facts. There's nothing wrong with sharing personal experiences, but you were not just sharing your experiences, you were telling people based on your own anecdotal evidence that coffee sways boy and they shouldn't drink it. THAT is spreading false information. We did NOT say that breastfeeding can only sway girl. You can read an essay about it here as to why in some cases it can sway boy, but that typically it helps sway girl because of the underlying mechanisms. Swaying never, ever comes down to one single thing. Neil DeGrasse Tyson himself once said that "the good thing about science is that, it's true whether or not you believe in it." Many of the swaying tactics we have here are based on scientific evidence from studies done by actual scientists. Over the years, Atomic has weeded out what has and has not worked (like pH or timing) based on research on those studies and from ladies here posting their sways in the spreadsheet so over time, those things were dropped. It is clear you don't agree with any of the swaying tactics here and just want to argue so as a moderator here, I think you may be happier going to another site that fits what you believe.Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma bear 4
Ksmom-it sounds like you must of misunderstood me. I didnt say dont drink coffee.
I only said" Maybe" try the opposite since she said it herself that when she got pregnant with her son she was drinking lots of coffee. What a coincidence when I conceived my son coffee was involved too.
You and atomic even said it that you havent found that research yet and is only a speculation that it sways girls. How could she suggest to drink coffee that it helps and sways girls.
She said her opinion and I shared mine. It happend that they were opposite opinions and thats how this all started.
She felt a certain way in which it was not even my intention and she started going over board. I understand where you coming from but dont "speculate" that I was doing this intentionally. Dont try to make it seem like I am horrible person and that I am just going after her just to disagree. That is not true.
You saidYou also saidQuote:
Originally Posted by Momma bear 4
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma bear 4
That's what I meant by spreading false information and it is what kicked off this whole debate. Coffee swaying pink is more than a speculation, we've had such a great results since it's been added in that I don't see how it could sway boy. I want to clarify that I'm NOT saying if you're a coffee drinker, you'll only have girls. I got a boy doing LE diet, exercise, coffee, alcohol, etc but do I go around telling people that these things sway boy? No, I don't. It also doesn't mean that those tactics won't ever work for me or work for anyone else. They just happened to not work that time because swaying is never a guarantee. We have a 65-70% success rate for pink here so clearly we're on the right track. You're basing your opinion on one experience (your experience) while Atomic is basing hers on the many, many swayers we've had here.
If you really look at it we can go back and forth all day. Comparing experiences and research we all have found. This is not a debate to who is right and wrong or stupid or smart. She said, I said, you said. I am sure there is much better things to do than go back and forth with this and bashing me for what I said.
It's clear you're missing the whole point of everything I've stated. I'm done rehashing this conversation over and over.
Prayingforagirl67---I'm so sorry your thread about loss has gotten tangled up in unrelated quarreling.
That is what I been trying to say all along that this is not the time and place to mess up someones thread. Just to confront me for an opinion. It is sad that it took you this long to realize this.
As a mod, I have the right to respond/moderate as I see fit so it is not "sad." You also continued to argue and if you do not stop, I will report you.Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma bear 4
Let it go, Princess Elsa.Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma bear 4
If you don't like it, start your own site or go elsewhere. YOU are the one being argumentative. I asked you to please stop picking fights with me and you upped the ante again and again in numerous threads. I'm locking this thread now.