Pregnant with boy #3, determining path and timing for final child and girl sway

Hello,

I am currently pregnant with my third boy. I did a light sway last time mainly by eating the LE Diet and vegetarian. I was already relatively underweight (BMI 19) and have pretty much always been on an "LE diet" so to speak and am now pregnant with my third boy.

I am starting to think about and plan my sway for my final child. I will not start doing anything until after I have given birth and a period of time breastfeeding exclusively (~6 months). I do want to consider if swaying at 6 months after birth would help, or waiting a few years when I am a little bit older would be more beneficial. I also do have irregular cycles and was offer feremera for my current pregnancy, but I got pregnant the cycle before we started. If I wanted to use fertility drugs I would likely have to wait longer for my doctor to reasonably consider prescribing them, but I've read they sway girl as well. I take lovenox and baby aspirin for blood clotting issues and repeat pregnancy loss.

We are considering IVF as well. We can afford it financially, we just aren't sure of the difficult process physically combine with what type of emotional burden it could create for a future daughter (if any, love to hear first hand accounts). If we sway more naturally I will purchase all plans and supplements to try and simplify the process and my husband is willing to supplement as well.

Would love to hear from others planning their sway in advance! I run my own business and would be considered by all accounts very type A. I think planning now will help me feel less stressed about the future and ease some of the gender disappointment this third pregnancy has brought.

Thank you!
A

When my DS3 was around 6 months (if I remember correctly) I started trying for number 4. I didn’t ovulate until he was 10.5 months. I was also breastfeeding, but not exclusively by that point. I did get pregnant with a baby girl and she and DS3 are 19 months apart. The age gap was hard at first but now they are 7 and 6 and it’s just fine :) I think the gender disappointment would have been a lot worse if didn’t plan on having more children. Although for a while there I was worried that I *only* made boys. Obviously that wasn’t true!


Mommy to 6 little blessings.

Hoping to try for #7 in 2019

Having had a sway opposite (my 3rd boy), I say if you can afford IVF, then do it. Atomic says over and over again that swaying will always be there. Age is a big factor in going HT so try it and if it doesn't work out then swaying can be your next option. For me, at least at this point in my life I know I don't just want a fourth baby, I want a daughter so HT it is. Swaying can and does work as I see it all the time here BUT it is NOT a guarantee. Ask yourself the difficult question "do you want another baby or do you want a girl?" If you can afford IVF, give it a shot. Just my two cents. :)

I’d agree – if you can afford IVF, and your husband is onboard – going HT seems like the best solution as a first option and swaying can be done after if and when needed and IVF is no longer on the cards (after 2 soon 3 girls and so wanting a son, I wish I had the option but even if financially we could, my husband is against it – don’t think I’ll manage to convince him ever).
I understand you worry about the whole IVF discussion with a future daughter created that way – but I would worry moreso about your sons (i.e. is baby girl “more wanted” because of the lengths you go through to get her over her brothers iykwim?).
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy – from a fellow pregnant ‘failed’ swayer that is already planning her future sway ;)

Thank you! Congrats on your pregnancy as well! Failed swaying makings it feel bittersweet sometimes but we are still very happy about another baby. After multiple losses I thought I would be thrilled with either gender but I am surprised by how sad I still feel about the possibility of never having a daughter.

Thank you! I think the honest response is I want a daughter much more than another child. If I had a daughter I think I would be done having children. I also worry if I had a fourth son I would want to try again for a daughter. As a working mom I am not sure 5 kids would be a very practical choice and become a logistical nightmare. Not that four will be easy, but it seems slightly more manageable for me.

I feel like IVF is a natural next step. We live very close to one of the most affordable clinics in the country and they do allow gender balancing. I think my husband is still a bit weirded out about his perceived "unnaturalness" of it, but he also wants a daughter (maybe not quite as badly as I do).

Thank you! I do frequently convince myself I only make boys. I've had 2 boys, 1 in utero, and 3 losses and the loss we tested was also a boy. I think if I knew a loss was a girl I wouldn't feel so certain that I am physically incapable of having a boy. It's great to see you had 3 girls after your 3 boys, congratulations!

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Originally Posted by goldielock615

Thank you! I think the honest response is I want a daughter much more than another child. If I had a daughter I think I would be done having children. I also worry if I had a fourth son I would want to try again for a daughter. As a working mom I am not sure 5 kids would be a very practical choice and become a logistical nightmare. Not that four will be easy, but it seems slightly more manageable for me.

I feel like IVF is a natural next step. We live very close to one of the most affordable clinics in the country and they do allow gender balancing. I think my husband is still a bit weirded out about his perceived "unnaturalness" of it, but he also wants a daughter (maybe not quite as badly as I do).

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It sounds like HT might be a great option for you then! I felt the same way with if I had a fourth boy. I just know deep down I'd bug DH about having a 5th even though I really, really don't want to have 5 children. I know realistically I'd probably would have been done having kids had my 3rd been a girl. At least with four there's no middle child. ;)

I have always wanted an even number of kids too, I have spent too much time daydreaming what we'd do if my last pregnancy was twins and then I have 5. Would this third boy feel left out with two older siblings and younger siblings closest in age? I am overthinking everything before I even have my third born.

My anatomy scan is next week and I know seeing boy is going to bring up some feelings all over again. I started googling incorrect gender NIPT last night which I know in my brain is ridiculous and that it is definitely a boy. I had a monitored cycle so I know I only ovulated one egg so even if I had a vanishing twin it would be identical and also a boy. My fetal fraction was very high. The genetic counselor said it was 99.99% accurate in my specific case. But sometimes the irrational comes out and a stranger on the internet who had a similar situation in 2014 and somehow had a girl gives me the tiniest shred of false hope.

My husband agreed last night to leave the amount needed for IVF in our savings until we come to an agreement on if it's an option for us (two cycles). We live really close to an affordable IVF clinic that allows gender selection. He agreed to go to a consultation after the baby is born but is not promising he's on board. I had infertility issues with this last pregnancy and it was an emotional roller coaster, he's really worried the medications and procedures involved with IVF will be too much for our family to handle. I see his point but still want to learn more. I also think it would be mentally easier to handle knowing it would result in my daughter.

Hi Goldilock, thanks for your patience!

My recommendation always is that if IVF is ever an option do it NOW. Swaying is always going to be here, IVF chances do not improve with time.

That having been said, it's not for me, either (even if I could afford it, which I couldn't have) and if you can have Femara, it is a great pink sway and that may make the difference. So I would consider it worth waiting for (the Femara, I mean.)

A compromise would possibly be to pursue IVF and then see what happens. IF for some reason it doesn't work out (poor response, or whatever) then you may be able to then move into swaying with Femara.

Thank you!

I think my husband and I have come to an agreement we will leave the money aside and go to the consultation with an open mind and go from there. I think it's highly likely he will agree, but I want him to be supportive and not feel like I am dragging him through it. When I am hormonal or in pain I wouldn't want it to feel like he thinks of it as solely my decision.

I am 27 and my AMH and other tests were all positive when I went through infertility testing. The only issue was my ANA/autoimmune issues which they attribute to my losses. I use Lovenox injections now, which I believe sway pink, but did not result in a girl this time. In hindsight I wish I'd stopped trying and waited for the feremera, but obviously too late now!

Thanks for your help! I am going to slowly focus on IVF research for best outcomes and think about more traditional swaying again if we pass on IVF or it fails.

We don't know if Lovenox sways, if you need it you need it for a healthy pregnancy and not the way it sways (mentioning this not for your sake, Goldi, but for any blue swayers reading this who are now thinking they should drop their Lovenox. Do. Not. Drop. Your. Lovenox!!)

At 27 your odds of success with IVF are very good. Good luck and let me know if I can be of any further help!