Hi, I'm new to this site, am I ok to post here, or do I have to be a member?
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Hi, I'm new to this site, am I ok to post here, or do I have to be a member?
It seems like my post worked! Hi everyone, I wondered if anyone can help me, I am deeply anxious. I am nearly 39 and DH is 40. We have been ttc for 18 months now, doing 0+12 timing. We have been on LE diet for some time using MFP to track, although I do not find the diet has changed my cycles at all, should it be drying up my ewcm? Last month I had tonnes, so this month, I started taking Saw Palmetto from AF, and it did cut down days of ewcm. I finally agreed to change to a cut off, I was hesitant, because DS2 was meant to be a cut off, I messed up and we DTD on O day, and got another boy.
Anyway, I always seem to O on CD 13 or 14, so I said to DH, if we DTD Saturday (CD11, it should be a 2 or 3 day cut off. I had thought that abstaining the longer the better would be a really good sway tactic, until about 5 minutes ago, when I read it isn't, and can increase defects. So DH had abstained for 16 days, and was all set to go on the Saturday, when to my horror, I found ewcm. My opk had a faint line (I ended up Oing on CD12). I did not know what to do, DH was getting totally fed up with diet, each month getting bfn, he didn't want to keep putting it off, so thinking that the diet and abstaining would up our chances, I agreed to dtd if I did a lime douche and he released only half way in, which we did.
I think we were both expecting another bfn, just because it always was. I got a bfp. I am super anxious now, I really think we've screwed up. I have read that girl bfps are always early and strong, and I didn't get mine until CD12 and even today on CD 15, it is not that strong (although its been getting stronger each day). I should have got AF CD 10 so I'm definitely preg.
I'm really scared, as now I feel like its looking like its a boy, I've messed up my last chance of ever getting a girl, and I was clinging to the fact we had such a great abstain, but now I've read that not only does it sway much, but we've increased our chance of birth defects as well. I don't know what to do, I don't know what I'm looking for really, just need someone to talk to, as DH is fed up with it all, he didn't really think we could afford another, he was doing it for me, and now I can't stop crying, I just feel like such an idiot.
Hey! Welcome. Slow down. You can have the best sway in the world and end up with an opposite. Unfortunately we can only do our best and still not be promised the gender we wanted. You did your best and now you just wait. Ain't no going back and stress is not good for a pregnancy. Or ever.
No one really knows what sways and doesn't, we just have statistics. But so many things contribute, we can only do our best. You have a 50 % chance of having a son or daughter. You tried to tip the odds in your favor. We can only hope it worked. No one can tell you any of that besides for the blood test or your sonographer. And you have time.
Just hang in there and try to be positive. I hope you get what you wish for, but always safe to expect and prepare for what you didn't. Your dh sways in your favor just because of his age. Lower sperm count from abstain and his age and you still have a great chance. But nothing is certain.
Sticky baby dust
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Thank you so much Mom25boys! Guess I just feel like the ewcm really sways boy and that's what is upsetting me, as I feel I didn't give it my best shot. If I had dtd with dryer cm and still got a boy, I think I'd be ok with that, iykwim?
I got my DD even with tons of EWCM. I think I must have super CM even because I've gotten pregnant from prejaculate from a guy with borderline MFI multiple times. And I was fully anorexic when I conceived DD with that CM.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bexie
Thank you so much for your reply Throwaway panther, its great to know that ewcm doesn't just make boys. Oh wow, that's crazy! You really must have super cm! I don't know if there are any stats on ewcm and gender (ok I'm sure there must be), but I have read that ewcm helps advance the boy swimmers, but I guess there are loads of other factors at play, if people can conceive girls with it too. I'm just gutted that I helped advance the boy swimmers!
You need CM. That's how it helps you get pregnant. My friend had 4 girls and no boys. And I can assure you she has loads of ewcm like most people by O. Dont worry. You did great. Nows the waiting game.
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Bex please don’t worry!! What’s done is done... baby is already a boy or girl and worrying or crying is not good for the health of both of you.
I actually think your sway sounds really good, even without swaying it’s still possible to have a daughter and you made lots of lifestyle changes so I really wouldn’t beat yourself up. With both my boys I had very dark second lines a whole week before AF was due so it’s certainly not exclusive to girls, that sounds like a total old wives tale.
Like it’s been said, ewcm is actually really important for the survival of both X and Y, drying it all up does not mean Y doesn’t get through, you’re just decreasing your odds of conception as a whole.
If I had pink dust, I’d send a little your way ( only a little , as I need some for myself ;) ). Just try to remain calm, focus on your health. You’re certainly not out yet and I truly hope it’s your daughter in there as GD sucks, I know . Good luck !
Lil
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Yeah, echoing the CM thing -- EVERYONE needs CM in order to get pregnant! You're not "helping Y sperm over X" with it -- you have to have ANY sperm to get pregnant with a girl :P
And yeah, my mom is potentially hyperfertile as well, as she was always a "first shot" pregnant woman. She had 3 girls. There are way more factors at play than EWCM when getting boys or girls as I have learned haha. (my mom was a former ballerina, chronic dieter though if that helps pump up the LE lifestyle haha)
Of course you can post here! Hi and welcome!
Please don't worry about the risk of birth defects, it's minimal. I just figure since abstain doesn't do anything anyway, why not avoid it totally since the abstain doesn't even work, you know?? Just doesn't make sense to take even the smallest of chances for something that doesn't work.
I can't tell you if your sway will work. What I do know is that at 39 years of age NO ONE should go on 18 plus months not getting pregnant so I would have had you drop a lot of that stuff ages ago anyway. So look at it this way - you got pregnant with a very very strict sway and much stricter than I would have recommended, so there's that.
You cannot tell the gender of your baby from the darkness of a pregnancy test. That's a myth. I have a full explanation of why that is in this thread. https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...cy-test-2.html
We are all here if you want to talk it out!! We've all been there and experienced that moment of horror and shock staring at the BFP thinking about all the things we would have changed about our sways. But you've done what you could do, you had a solid sway, and now you have to put it in the hands of a higher power or luck!
Hi everyone. Thanks so much for your replies, I really appreciate it. I know that worrying will do nothing now, but I can’t help it. I guess I just really believe in the cut off = creamy low pH cm and o day = EWCM high pH and that’s why I’m so upset, I really didn’t want to screw up timing which Is why I persisted so long with the 0+12. Just wanted so, so much to have no doubt in my mind I’d done everything I could, you know? But maybe it was just meant to be this way, and I was never meant to have an easy ride! I really appreciate the info about the hcg, thank you.
I think you might have been making it more difficult for yourself, though? O+12 is recommended on other sites and not here and is based off of one study that people vastly misinterpreted. It doesn't have to be very hard! And remember, that's your belief -- not necessarily fact! People used to believe all sorts of things strongly about how to get a certain gender, how the earth turns, etc. ;P Luckily, we have more data now to make better calls on things. So trust and believe, many of us have gotten girls on O day with high PH CM, boys with low PH, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Bexie
If you're interested, I have essays debunking these things that may put your mind at ease...
Timing debunked here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...le-timing.html
pH debunked here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...ph-pickle.html
O+12 debunked here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...9-no-12-a.html
:agree: :agree: :agree: out of a sample size of 33 people, two of them got girls with O+12. Allegedy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Throwaway_panther
That's what the entire theory is based on.
Totally unreliable and very bad science.
Hi ladies. I just wanted to thank you all for helping me with my worries, I really was going a bit crazy. By 6 weeks pregnant, I thought my bump was starting to look ‘girly’ (at least not the same shape as my boys) and I was feeling a lot more hopeful. However at nearly 12 weeks I started bleeding and unfortunately miscarried a few days ago. Obviously thinking I was pregnant, I’ve been on loads of sups, eating lots more and more of a ‘blue’ diet, but have also heard the first cycle after miscarriage sways pink, so is there much truth to that? I’m still taking the sups to help my body recover from the miscarriage so am unsure whether to try on first cycle or restart diet and not try for at least 6 weeks? Any advice appreciated! Thank you all for any help
Oh gosh I'm so sorry to hear that.
After a loss that late I prefer you to wait a cycle anyway. I would have you wean off the supplements gradually starting now. Since it will take a couple weeks to get weaned off, you'll still be getting them in your system while coming off them in preparation for your sway. I would def. start diet now though, as soon as you're ready.
Can you please tell me what supplements you were taking?? Some of them may actually make losses more likely so we'll stay away from them in future.
Have you ever had your thyroid tested?
Had you recently started or stopped any supplements suddenly??
Hi Atomic, thank you for your reply. I don’t think my mc was actually that late, I think the bleeding started late. Unfortunately I’ll never know as I passed the sac 2 days before my scan. What I do know is that I didn’t see a fetus in any of the tissue and so I’m thinking I may have had a blighted ovum (based purely on internet research)! Or an early mc. No I’ve never had my thyroid tested, I’ve never had a mc before this, but to be honest, I was concerned I was at higher risk of something going wrong this time, I think because dh just wasn’t eating enough and is also training for a marathon, he’s basically running on empty, but I did try to nag him!
Supps, yes, could be a big part of it, and quite complex, so here goes:
Whole time pre preg I was taking;
800mcg folic acid
Cranberry 12,600 mcg fresh fruit equivalent
400mg calcium
200mg magnesium
(Dh was taking liquorice root and the cal/mag)
Then because I felt like my oestrogen was high because I was getting a lot of cm, I started taking saw palmetto 10 days before our attempt, which did seem to make my cm more ‘normal’ and less of it. I took 500mg standardised and stopped it after I o’d (didn’t wean).
In 2ww I stopped the cranberry as well, but kept the others (I may have halved the cal/mag, I can’t remember)
Then at 9 dpo I added 50 or 100 mg b6, 15 or 30mg zinc, 400iu vit e and probably b12, b2, and probiotics, because I had them in the cupboard, and thought they would help before I managed to get hold of some preg supps.
Now I’m looking at all this it’s now dawning on me that I’ve been an idiot as I thought the preg supps contained as much as these, but now looking, they only have 2.5mg of b6 which means I did suddenly go to a really low dose of B6 without realising. I started the preg supps a week or 2 later and basically stopped taking all the others except the probiotic, at the same time, thinking the preg supps would have everything in them (though why I didn’t check quantities I really don’t know).
Then, wanting to ‘help’ the baby further, I started taking a dha and vitamin d3 supp a couple of weeks after that, and then a couple of weeks after this my 2nd son was diagnosed with a food allergy and I read that this could develop in preg if you’re low on certain vitamins, so I started taking a p-5-p complex a couple of weeks after that, so that’s 20mg b2, 50mg b6, 100mg magnesium and 13mg zinc. By this time I was about 11 weeks, the bleeding started 3 days later so whether it’s related I don’t know, but like I say, there was no visible fetus so I couldn’t have been 11 weeks when it went wrong?
So yes, I started and stopped the b6, and others, so maybe that’s the cause, do you think?
Re diet, it’s been so hard with Christmas and it’s my birthday on Tuesday, so part of me wants to start ASAP, and part of me wants to enjoy my birthday and start on Wednesday. I’ve been continuing with my preg supps and p-5-p until last night when I halved the preg supp, so today and yesterday was just one preg supp, the p-5-p and some iron (which I started after mc).
It doesn't matter - the "lateness" of a loss depends on how long your body "thinks" it's pregnant and that is till the bleeding begins. No matter if it was an MMC or blighted ovum, it doesn't matter.
Let me just stress that 99 out of 100 times when there's a loss it is not anything we did but just sheer bad luck - a bum egg, faulty sperm, a mistake happened very early on in the development of the fetus.
That having been said I would have you give cranberry a pass this time. It hasn't worked at all and because it's a blood thinner, I think it may contribute to losses by making it harder for implantation to occur (since your blood gets very thin when youre on it and then it has to be stopped suddenly at ovulation, so your blood suddenly gets too "clotty")
Saw palmetto hasn't worked but I doubt that caused any trouble since you came off it at ovulation (you dont' have to wean off it if you stop it at ovulation, since that's when your hormones shift naturally anyway)
Licorice root not only hasn't worked but has gotten TERRIBLE results (lower than 50-50) and while on paper it "should" sway pink, in the real world it hasn't panned out at all so I'd skip it.
Next time please go onto a prenatal or multivitamin and not those nutrients taken separately. The high dose Vit E, for instance, is under suspicion of causing birth defects. And yes, when the switch was made to the pregnancy supplements you would have had a very sudden drop in several of these things. This doesn't mean you caused the loss, not at all, but let's just be very sure not to do that in the future.
Taking a lot of zinc may also cause problems. There is enough in a prenatal supplement so please don't add more zinc onto that. 8-15 mg is all you need.
Vitamins are weird. Some is good and necessary. More is NOT good and indeed may be harmful. (and in fact some believe it is high doses of nutrients that may be causing the sudden high numbers of food allergies) You don't need more than the amount in a prenatal/multivitamin as long as you're eating a normal, healthy balanced diet. Many of the studies where you'll read "low nutrient intake may cause X, Y, Z" are not done in normal healthy women but in women in very poor countries. It is very unlikely that any normal, healthy person in the 1st world (even after having been on LE Diet) is suffering from severe nutrient deficiencies in anything other than Vit. D and iron. You don't need to take all those additional things.
Hi Atomic. Thank you very much for your reply. That’s interesting about the cranberry. I do feel I need to do something to lower oestrogen and raise progesterone to sway girl and feel Dh needs to lower his sperm count and testosterone but if not saw palmetto and liquorice root then I’m not sure what? I def won’t do the individual vitamins again, I have the prenatals now so can just take them if I get another bfp. I was just concerned about not taking anything at all in the early days! Just didn’t occur to me about quantities!
I haven’t had the all clear from the miscarriage yet, there was no d&c and at the scan there was a small bit of tissue yet to come out. I did a preg test yesterday and there was still a bit of a line. I’m spotting brown discharge, so I hope that’s normal.
Also, i have bought a plan. I just filled out both questionnaires and on pressing submit, I got the ‘please log in’ page so I hope they have gone through ok?
Diet does that though. Diet, exercise, and taking fiber are by far more effective. We can see in our results, which are numbering into the several hundred people by now, that cranberry and saw palmetto are not working at all (same number of people got girls with and without them, indicating they are doing nothing, and a statistician I had crunch the numbers agreed they are not working) and licorice root is down to 33% right now!! That means almost 70% of the people who took it got BOY opposites!!! It's really a step in the wrong direction to do things based on totally disproven theories that we can see in our results are not working. It's your sway, your way of course but I can't recommend any of those things especially after a loss, since we cannot know if they had any bearing on it.
BTW raising progesterone does nothing to sway pink. Totally debunked by our experiences on here. We have tons of women who develop short LP's while swaying pink and tons of blue swayers who have lots of daughters and always had a short LP, whose cycles normalized while swaying blue.
I have your questionnaire and will get your plan to you ASAP! Let me know if you have any questions in the meantime!
Hi Atomic, thank you. I’m not sure what sort of fiber I should take? And exercise, does it need to be 6 times a week, if you do none does it sway blue?
Will the plan be in private messages section? Thank you
Hey, it's been posted for a few days now - it's right here https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...ml#post1017665
whatever kind of fiber you can easily get in your area. All fibers will work for our purposes.
6-7 is best but anythign more than 4 has worked.