first attempt TTC - my girl sway

Hello! This is my first time posting but have been reading GD threads since February :) I'm so thankful I found this forum and Atomic's amazing advice! This past week my husband and I had our first attempt and I guess I'm hoping for some wisdom because I would love nothing more than to have a healthy baby girl!

A little about me: I have eaten a healthy, vegan diet since I was a teenager. My diet has always been made up of fruits, veggies, plant based protein, avocado, nuts, no processed foods, coffee with almond milk, some alcohol, etc. For the past month I have been better about not grazing though and only eating twice a day to keep blood sugar low. I have lost about 5 lbs over the past few months which still keeps me in a healthy BMI range. I have always worked out, about 5-6x a week (I walk a lot and never strength train or life weights). I was taking prenatal for about a week back in March but stopped taking them because they made me nauseous and I was also not aware they swayed blue. Currently I only take 800mg folic acid a day.

As for DH: he tries to work out 3-4x a week, mainly running or spinning. He eats a balanced diet, drinks almond milk, vegan dinners with me, no red meat for the past couple of months but eats some chicken/fish. He also has a stressful job and takes a multivitamin and magnesium/calcium every day. I did not have him take any additional supplements.

My girl sway:

I used a OPK strips last month as a test run so I had a good understanding of my cycle and how they work. I began testing everyday this cycle starting CD9. We abstained from AF to CD12. Knowing I would probably ovulate on CD16, DH released on his own because he is over 35 and I did not want to use old sperm for our one attempt. On CD14 at 10pm I got my first high LH reading. The next morning on CD15 I got a peak LH reading. We decided when DH got home from work we would have our one and only BD attempt. At 6pm I tested again and read high LH. This might sound bad but I was pretty excited/anxious/nervous that day so I only had coffee and fruit to eat all day...when I get anxious I lose my appetite. I would imagine my blood sugar was really low? I also walked for about an hour in the afternoon to clear my mind.

As for the one attempt, we took a hot bath together (I know this is said to help sway pink but honestly we just like baths and it put us in the mood) and both had a glass of champagne (DH is very romantic haha but not sure if this impacted our chances of concieving?). I also have been taking Zyrtec for my awful allergies for the past two weeks, but I avoided taking it the day of our attempt because I noticed it dried me up. I still had a little CM but it was creamy/sticky, not EW. I actually tested the little CM that I had before and after BD and it was acidic both times. As for the BD, (TMI!) missionary, no O for me, neither deep nor shallow release, and J&D after a few min and urinated. I tried to wipe everything off because DH said he released "3-4 pumps" whatever that means! Yikes. After our attempt, we sat up on the couch and watched tv so I didn't lay down/go straight to bed. The next day on CD16 my LH read high in the afternoon and low LH in the evening. On CD17 my LH was very low, so I assume I ovulated on CD16 or maybe CD17? Either way I would imagine I was very fertile for our attempt.

I'm now in the TWW. I do not expect to get a BFP on our first month trying and I will remain patient, but does this sound like I have a good chance at 1) swaying girl and 2) conceiving? I am nervous that maybe DH should have released 1-2x more before our BD attempt. I didn't ask him to because my rationale was that it would raise T and perhaps produce more sperm, but I'm not 100% sure. Lastly, during this TWW is there anything I should keep doing that could help the sway? I am still taking folic acid and continuing the LE diet (which is how I've always eaten) and watching blood sugar.

Thank you so much for reading and any words of wisdom! I really appreciate it.

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can you bump this for me again?

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Your lifestyle already sounds very pink friendly!!

Please do not abstain and then do the release once, dump it method. Sperm aren't formed the way you're thinking of it, and whenever an abstain happens, it makes unhealthy sperm that are NOT all gotten rid of with one release. Do not ever have a man over 35 abstain longer than 4-5 days deliberately while TTC. I have a good explanation here: https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gen...erm-count.html

Please do not go a whole day without eating while swaying, especially right around ovulation. Even if you're nervous please try to eat normally. There is no evidence it helps your sway at all whatsoever (if anything we did for a day worked, we'd only sway for a day.) and many times those who have done this over my objections have delayed their ovulation anyway.

Yes Zyrtec can really be drying and it hasn't worked anyway so I'd give that a pass in future month if you can get away with it.

Men always release that many "pumps" there's nothing wrong with that.

A glass of champagne does not inhibit conception.

Unfortunately you can't tell when you ovulate on the basis of when your OPK go negative. You can ovulate while your OPK is still positive and have it stay positive for days afterwards, or you can have your OPK go negative almost immediately and then still not ovulate for a day or two after that. The OPK does not measure when ovulation occurs, it only measures the hormone that signals ovulation TO occur and then your body does that on its own timeline. The OPK going negative measures only the time it takes the hormone to clear your body, irrespective of O.

I don't think you'll have a sky high chance of conception - not nothing, but just not sky high - because the releasing once, dumping it, then using second batch for conception does really lower odds of conception.

yes yes do continue with folic (continue this amount all thru the entire first trimester, then and only then gradually wean off by spacing doses further and further out till down to the amount in prenatal (start prenatal at BFP)

Continue LE Diet till BFP! Even if you're 110% sure you are pregnant. Many people decide they're pregnant and go off the diet before getting BFP only to find out they aren't pregnant and then they have potentially undone some of the good of the diet.

Let me know how else I can help!

Thank you for answering all of my questions and linking the jelly bean essay! Really insightful. I didn't realize my (unintentional) abstain + 1 release would have impacted our attempt. Bummer. I figured the one release was sort of like doing the e4d method. Should DH release multiple times prior to the one attempt to dump old sperm/create fresh sperm? For the future, what would you have done differently?

Good to know re OPK. I did have sticky/creamy CM (plus cramps + nausea) a few days after my presumed O day so maybe I O'd later than expected. This might be a dumb question, but what is the best way to tell? I guess as long as the attempt is after the first +OPK it doesn't really matter?

I do plan on dropping the Zyrtec going forward (only need it for spring and fall allergies).

Yes, I agree! I'm still in the TWW so definitely sticking to the LE diet until the dr. confirms BFP + working out — or should I limit exercise during implantation?

Thanks again for your help!

No, it takes some time to get rid of the bad sperm and an abstain can impinge on all the sperm in formation so it takes some time to get rid of them.

Releasing multiple times will simply mean there's nothing left. The batch he releases will be small, if he is even able to perform. We did once consider the "compressed FR" but we had so much trouble with it we gave it up - too stressful and too many men

I would have had him do regular release every 2-4 days and then do the one attempt.

There is no real way to tell short of having an ultrasound or blood work. We use the signs and symptoms and oPK to get us in the ballpark and then sperm can survive a couple days. Yes the OPK indicates the egg is on route so you hit it with the attempt then and it's in the window of opportunity. You can start doing e4d attempts after that if you want to guard against delayed O.

Working out is fine! If you couldnt' get pregnant while exercising the whole human race would have died out long ago! It's fine to cut back some if you want but it's not necessary.

Thanks so much, Atomic! I really appreciate your feedback.

After two weeks of crazy textbook symptom spotting, AF showed up two days late. Makes me wonder if I O’d later than I thought I did. Anyway! On to the next month and feeling hopeful.

Per your advice, I will have DH do regular release (I just started my cycle — when should he start this?), and still keep the one attempt. DH is really supportive and willing to do what I am comfortable with, but it is hard to explain (I’m sure to most men) about having only one unprotected attempt in my fertile window. Men automatically think more sex = better odds of conception, but as we all know it only takes one time to get pregnant!

Given that I already eat a LE/vegan diet (did a great job continuing this in the TWW), coffee, alcohol, daily exercise and skip breakfast/snacking — do you think these tactics are enough with the one attempt to sway? I really think where things went wrong was the 1) abstinence and 2) shallow release. DH and I were talking the other day and he said I definitely pulled my pelvis lower towards the end (I kind of freaked out since it was our first time!). I also no longer need to take Zyrtec for my allergies. I think they might have dried me up too much.

I know I have time but I would really like to conceive sooner than later. I had no idea how emotional this journey would make me. Perhaps we will try e4d to make sure I cover my O day.

One last question, I think I’ve read this on here before, but do you advise those swaying pink to avoid unprotected sex outside the fertile window? I assume we should use condoms? Something about the exposure to semen makes women more fertile...?

Thank you again for all of your help and input!

If AF came late then you very likely did O late.

Start reg. release right away.

Yes we have that problem with men very often! But men make enough sperm in a single batch to impregnate every woman who has ever visited this site 10x over! It can be better odds of conception but of course our end game is not just pregnancy but gender swayig too.

I can't tell anyone what is enough. I just don't have the ability to know that.

Yes between the abstain, the shallow relese, the zyrtec, and possibly ovulating later than you think it's no wonder it was BFN this month!

I really really do think you should not get in too big a hurry, though. Give it a month at least with reg release and one attempt, that way you won't have regrets for not trying it if you do end up with an opposite.

You can also try for one attempt, but then pick it up with e4d after you think you've ovulated to protect against delayed O.

Ideally yes we'd be avoiding unprotected sex out of the fertile window in case the hormones in the semen make us more boy friendly. But most of us (myself included) did not do that and still got girls even with unprotected sex in our non-fertile periods. Your call to make, not a dealbreaker.

Hi Atomic! I have a quick question, and I’m sorry if I’m overthinking this. DH attempted regular release after AF but we were on vacation with family last week which made it a little difficult. He released last Thursday, and last night we BD with protection.

Today is CD12 and now my LH is in the high range/“peak” (I don’t believe I’ve peaked yet but I’ll keep testing and temping). I wasn’t expecting to O for a few more days because AF was late last cycle.

I don’t think we should have our one and only attempt tonight because I think it’s still early, and DH’s sperm count might be too low. If I do peak tomorrow, then I will plan on having our one attempt tomorrow night. Is this a good pattern, considering the 2 releases in one week? Curious what your thoughts are because I want to make sure we do this right this cycle. Also, I agree with you and plan on waiting to attempt the e4d method! I was feeling a little desperate after my BFN.

Thanks in advance!!

Help! So I tested OPK last night before bed, and using the premom app it read 'peak' again but this morning it's now reading 'low' (control and test line are about the same color though). I told DH last night about the peak, but he said he couldn't perform and we would try today. I didn't think anything of it since last cycle my LH stayed high for a few days and I O'd late (CD16/17).

If we BD this afternoon/evening, would it be too late? My temp did go up this morning (by .14), I have light cramping today, and I had EWCM yesterday and none today (sticky). I'm so sad! I feel like I missed my window now and regret BDing with protection tuesday night.

Oh no only just now saw this. PLEASE always just have attempt, never wait for a reply from me. I just can't promise people that I can do that.

The apps don't work. They are junk and everyone should delete them IMO.

It is never too late to BD. At least you're in with a chance! Not I, nor an app, nor anyone else other than a doctor with an ultrasound device (and really not even then) can tell you when you ovulated or will. Even temping is not terribly reliable.

CM can dry up before O. It is in fact a very common thing we see - the CM drying up the day before ovulation.

I do want you to understand, though, that when the test goes negative it doesn't tell you if you've ovulated or not. It only measures the hormones that signal ovulation and not whether or not ovulation has occurred. You can have a test go negative and still not have ovulated, and you can have a test that stays positive for days after ovulation. You will generally ovulate 24-48 hours after that first positive and sometimes even longer than that so please don't avoid having an attempt! No reason not to

Just coming on here to say I got my BFP! I can't believe it! I took two tests the day before my expected AF (15DPO), and both tests appeared quickly with very dark and solid lines!

We ended up having our one attempt on the evening of the day I assumed I ovulated (and when I last posted on here - June 13th). I tried not to stress out about the timing of it all, and figured our chance was so small. I felt really relaxed during the 2WW (stuck to the LE diet though) and didn't think I was pregnant until the week before AF. This was our second cycle and second attempt :)

Thank you Atomic for all of your help and advice!!

Congratulations!!!

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Originally Posted by MamaK1

Congratulations!!!

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thank you MamaK1!! Best of luck to you! :)

Huge congrats and pink dust headed your way!