If we looked during the anatomy scan, and didn't see "anything", does that mean it's a girl?

We decided not to find out sex of our first baby until the birth, due in December.
We had an anatomy scan on Friday, a level 2 high res ultrasound b/c I'm over 35 years old.
Everything looked great with the baby... we are so happy and grateful, that is all that matters to us.

I didn't really think about whether or not we could "look" during the scan and now I'm kicking myself.
The ultrasound tech started the appointment by confirming that she would not be telling us the sex during the appointment.
So we assumed it was fine to look, we wanted to see the baby again and watch the tech point out all the different organs that have developed.
But the tech did move the wand around quite a bit b/c baby was curled up and had hands in front of his or her face.
So there were plenty of full body scans and profile shots of baby throughout the appointment.
At one point, after the tech pointed out the diaphragm, kidneys and cord - she told us to look away so she could get the "potty shot" and take pics of genitals.

After the appointment, H and I both kinda assumed it was a girl since the tech did scan the baby several times and we didn't see anything that resembled a penis.
Now granted, H and I have never dissected any ultrasound pics, we have no clue what we'd be looking for really and whether the baby was positioned correctly to see gender. (We were a little disoriented the entire appointment b/c it looked like the tech was in the area of the brain, but somehow was showing us the heart?)
But then, in my facebook pregnancy group, women are always like "oh we saw the sex immediately, he was just showing "IT" off" or "Yep, we saw the 3 lines clearly, knew it was a girl".
I guess I'm just trying to set expectations - we were at 19 weeks - didn't see anything that looked to be a penis on our anatomy scan - safe to say it's probably a girl then? or does the baby have to be positioned correctly to see the genitals? Or do we need some sort of training to know what we're even looking at?

So we're kinda bummed b/c we feel like we ruined the surprise by sabotaging ourselves by looking during our scan. And if I'm completely honest - I did a "soft" blue sway so there's a tiny bit of disappointment and assumption that this was my only chance at blue. (Mostly b/c my fertility Dr has suggested that due to my age and it taking several months to fall pregnant with baby #1, we start trying for Baby #2 almost immediately, whenever my cycle returns, maybe 9-12 months postpartum. And I hear that is a huge pink sway.)

Anyway, what do you all think - did you see the gender of the baby during your 20 week scan without the tech telling you or were you completely clueless until tech pointed it out?

No you can't tell by that. The tech has to be zoomed in and things have to be just right to see the gender and you absolutely need training to tell for sure.

Close child spacing sways a bit pink. But you can still get a boy! People do it all the time! (in fact my two closest spaced kiddos are boys!)

When my mom was pregnant with my brother, she and my stepdad went to the ultrasound and my stepdad was a paramedic and thought he for sure knew how to read an ultrasound. He was convinced it was a girl (they already had a girl) and so he was all sad about it, but then the baby came out and was a boy and he blurted really loudly in the delivery room "the kid's got BALLS" LOL.

It's always good to prepare for an opposite but I don't think you can tell if you aren't looking with assistance from the tech. :)

No you can't tell by that. The tech has to be zoomed in and things have to be just right to see the gender and you absolutely need training to tell for sure.

Close child spacing sways a bit pink. But you can still get a boy! People do it all the time! (in fact my two closest spaced kiddos are boys!)

When my mom was pregnant with my brother, she and my stepdad went to the ultrasound and my stepdad was a paramedic and thought he for sure knew how to read an ultrasound. He was convinced it was a girl (they already had a girl) and so he was all sad about it, but then the baby came out and was a boy and he blurted really loudly in the delivery room "the kid's got BALLS" LOL.

It's always good to prepare for an opposite but I don't think you can tell if you aren't looking with assistance from the tech. :)

Thanks for the quick reply.

I don't have any FEELING of pink or blue like some women - absolutely no clue, so it will truly be a surprise come December :)

My fertility diet aligned well with the blue high everything diet, I felt like I was in a good spot for blue. Then a few other silly old wives tales - ovulated from the right, acupuncturist thought my pulse was more "boy", my brother who has medical training dissected one of our ultrasound pics and predicted boy, so I convinced myself I had a better shot at blue.

But then, I had a dream and my best friend was there when I delivered the baby. I kept asking her "boy or girl?" and she kept saying "wait for your H to tell you". He was no where in sight so I kept asking her "boy or girl?" and she refused to answer. I even said in the dream "I don't care if it's a girl, just tell me!". Lol. So after the dream, we had the scan and the tech seemed so casual with scanning the baby that we assumed that meant that there were no discernible "parts" to see.
So now I think I'm mentally trying to "prepare" myself for pink.

I just don't think either of us can envision pink it is so out of our element. I have no sisters, my mom has been in a nursing home w Alzheimer's for year, my girlfriends are all out of state, I even work in male dominated industry for the past 10 years, and my team now is all males. We just don't have a lot of experience with girly things since I myself am more of a non nonsense tomboy.

We went to Buy Buy Baby to register and my H kept pointing out really cute boy outfits and it almost made me want to cry thinking we may not have a chance at blue.
I know it all chances once the baby gets here, and I know so many women who say they can't imagine having their desired gender so I'm hoping that's the case for me.

I hope that I'd have a shot at blue if we did a quick turnaround with baby #2. My oldest brothers are about 20 months apart so I think it definitely can happen!

I am an ultrasound tech. I have seen baby boys throwing their penis in practically every image I take and the parents' are none the wiser because we are taught early on to keep a poker face (which is important considering we sometimes see pretty devastating problems,etc., and we aren't allowed to tell the patient..) I do have patients look away to document gender and to measure the femur but besides that it's not super uncommon to see boy parts and the parents to actually be none the wiser because we don't make a big deal about it and because people actually don't really have a clue what they are looking at. (The other day I actually had a dad who thought their kid's leg was a penis...:rofl: sorry dad, no. That's your kid's femur.)
So it's totally possible baby is actually a boy and you just didn't notice the penis. If a patient didn't want to know gender, a decent tech is going to act neutral even if your baby flashes their penis at them 800x while they are completing the anatomy scan.

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Originally Posted by bluegreyeyes

We decided not to find out sex of our first baby until the birth, due in December.
We had an anatomy scan on Friday, a level 2 high res ultrasound b/c I'm over 35 years old.
Everything looked great with the baby... we are so happy and grateful, that is all that matters to us.

I didn't really think about whether or not we could "look" during the scan and now I'm kicking myself.
The ultrasound tech started the appointment by confirming that she would not be telling us the sex during the appointment.
So we assumed it was fine to look, we wanted to see the baby again and watch the tech point out all the different organs that have developed.
But the tech did move the wand around quite a bit b/c baby was curled up and had hands in front of his or her face.
So there were plenty of full body scans and profile shots of baby throughout the appointment.
At one point, after the tech pointed out the diaphragm, kidneys and cord - she told us to look away so she could get the "potty shot" and take pics of genitals.

After the appointment, H and I both kinda assumed it was a girl since the tech did scan the baby several times and we didn't see anything that resembled a penis.
Now granted, H and I have never dissected any ultrasound pics, we have no clue what we'd be looking for really and whether the baby was positioned correctly to see gender. (We were a little disoriented the entire appointment b/c it looked like the tech was in the area of the brain, but somehow was showing us the heart?)
But then, in my facebook pregnancy group, women are always like "oh we saw the sex immediately, he was just showing "IT" off" or "Yep, we saw the 3 lines clearly, knew it was a girl".
I guess I'm just trying to set expectations - we were at 19 weeks - didn't see anything that looked to be a penis on our anatomy scan - safe to say it's probably a girl then? or does the baby have to be positioned correctly to see the genitals? Or do we need some sort of training to know what we're even looking at?

So we're kinda bummed b/c we feel like we ruined the surprise by sabotaging ourselves by looking during our scan. And if I'm completely honest - I did a "soft" blue sway so there's a tiny bit of disappointment and assumption that this was my only chance at blue. (Mostly b/c my fertility Dr has suggested that due to my age and it taking several months to fall pregnant with baby #1, we start trying for Baby #2 almost immediately, whenever my cycle returns, maybe 9-12 months postpartum. And I hear that is a huge pink sway.)

Anyway, what do you all think - did you see the gender of the baby during your 20 week scan without the tech telling you or were you completely clueless until tech pointed it out?

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To be honest, I never could see those three lines for my girls until the midwife outlined them in color for us. Husband is a nurse and has seen is fair share of ultrasounds and was also unable to tell if there was anything being flaunted or not and if what gender the baby was. It's as atomic says, you have to be trained to see anything. Except for the face, I can't even recognize the rest ! (Can't even recognize the inside of my own uterus when it's shown to me haha)

About close births, idk, I've seen close in age brothers and little brothers following a 1 year older sister so... Anything is possible. But my guess is that if you want to push towards blue for a close 2nd, you absolutely have to get all your nutrients back, whatever the means. My DD2 was an accident sure but my doc told me I was very tired, freshly out of weaning DD1 and lacked almost everything nutritive in my blood. He wanted to call off the pregnancy because he was afraid my body couldn't go through with it in that state. Well, it did but sometimes, I think that's what swayed pink. That and the obvious one attempt since no TTC was planned at the time anyway.

you've still got every chance that this is a boy :) i'll keep everything crossed for you to get your big team-blue surprise in december!!

age-gap wise all mine are small gaps, smallest gap is 13 months and thats between 2 boys, ive also got a girl then a boy with 14 months between, i dont breastfeed though so maybe thats a big factor in my case, but boys with small gaps are possible :)

Feelings don't predict gender. Just prepare yourself either way and hopefully you will get a happy surprise!

I know no matter what, though, that you are going to be ok either way. First babies are daunting, it's hard to imagine what this little person will be, but regardless of their gender you will always find all this common ground with them. :)

Thanks everyone for the replies and talking me down from the ledge!

We didn't have any idea what we were looking at, or from what angle, so I'm glad to hear that it's still a surprise. I honestly hadn't heard of the "3 lines means a girl" thing until after the appointment and I was googling anatomy scans and gender. I'm pretty sure we're still in the dark. LOL.

I have been creating "Girl" wishlists on Wayfair and Amazon to get myself more accustomed to the idea - pretty light fixtures, lavender rugs and softer decor for the nursery to purchase after the birth (baby won't be in nursery for first few months). Much harder than I thought it would be, my friends all say girls are easier to shop for but I unfortunately don't love pink or florals.

I know in the end, whatever this baby is, we'll be over the moon... like atomic said, first babies are a completely new and crazy experience, it won't matter whether it's pink or blue.

I need to just reconcile that even with putting effort into a blue sway, I can't have higher expectations. It's really out of my control... which for a Type A control freak, is hard to remember.

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Originally Posted by 4blue2pink

you've still got every chance that this is a boy :) i'll keep everything crossed for you to get your big team-blue surprise in december!!

age-gap wise all mine are small gaps, smallest gap is 13 months and thats between 2 boys, ive also got a girl then a boy with 14 months between, i dont breastfeed though so maybe thats a big factor in my case, but boys with small gaps are possible :)

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Ah thanks ! I wanted to ask about it but didn't dare for fear of triggering someone ! Because lately I've suspected that people having a boy close to another child may not have been breastfeeding. I did and it's true it takes a lot out of you (except weight in my case, sadly enough).

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Originally Posted by Sora

Ah thanks ! I wanted to ask about it but didn't dare for fear of triggering someone ! Because lately I've suspected that people having a boy close to another child may not have been breastfeeding. I did and it's true it takes a lot out of you (except weight in my case, sadly enough).

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oh dont worry i dont find it offensive :) the longest ive breastfed for is 2 months (1st baby) and funnily enough i concieved a girl shortly after stopping! i think you are right, there are women who exclusively breastfeed and get lots of boys close together, but as you say its so draining and exhausting especially at first that its got to be pink friendly.
i admire anyone who can do it and stick at it because honestly i just cant face it.

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Originally Posted by 4blue2pink

oh dont worry i dont find it offensive :) the longest ive breastfed for is 2 months (1st baby) and funnily enough i concieved a girl shortly after stopping! i think you are right, there are women who exclusively breastfeed and get lots of boys close together, but as you say its so draining and exhausting especially at first that its got to be pink friendly.
i admire anyone who can do it and stick at it because honestly i just cant face it.

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Two months is still something :superhero:

It was very hard with my first, she was born early and was too weak to drink but we still managed for a few months before the doctors forced us to drop it saying I wasn't doing enough and accusing me of starving her :mad:

Went very well with DD2 who was stronger but I'm more of a mind to wean as soon as the child starts eating fruits and vegetables. It's just my opinion and I admire those who go further than that but I just feel that when baby is ready to take other kind of foods, it means they have taken that first step towards feeding themselves on their own and you can and maybe should let go to help them grow strong and independant. It's sad if you liked it but it's part of growing up and I think it's not that sad for baby as long as you are still there for the other steps.

I plan to breastfeed. Keyword there is PLAN :) But we'll see how it goes.
I have heard that breastfeeding is also the pink sway, and probably makes sense why 2nd siblings are sometimes girls if mother is breastfeeding.
That's kinda why I assume our 2nd will be a girl b/c Dr suggested we try as soon as my cycle returns which he mentioned usually coincides with weaning.

Just remember even with the things that sway the most, it's only a few percentage points. All this stuff is overcomable with swaying. I got a boy and a girl while breastfeeding, and three boys without breastfeeding. So in no way a guarantee, but I do think it sways somewhat pink. :)