Hi all, kind of newbie here

Hi all, i've posted once before but still kind of a newbie. I posted about Femara but unfortunately I wasn't able to get it in the end, the doctor wanted to make me have lots of other tests first and I couldn't afford them. I'm guessing there's nowhere else to get Femara other than prescribed?

We've been TTC for a while now with no luck. A friend of mine suggested going on the pill for a little while, as this worked for her. So my question is - does the birth control pill sway pink? If so does it matter which pill?

Some people get Femara from friends or by purchasing it online, but I can't recommend doing that.

I would not go onto and off of the BCP. That will take months of time and you'd likely not be on it long enough to really sway pink anyway (while we do believe the pill sways somewhat pink, it's no guarantee and plus it will simply add on more time during which you have no shot of conception.)

CAn you tell me what's going on with your cycle and the stuff you're doing to sway?? We may be able to boost chances of conception.

Thanks atomic. Funnily enough I got a BFP this morning, so that's all that out the window haha. I had a miscarriage before, but, assuming all goes ok with this pregnancy i'm going to find out the gender with a blood test at 10 weeks. I'll come back on here and let everyone know what I did to sway and if it was successful.

AAA oh gosh great news! Good luck!

So.... found out yesterday that the embryo's heartbeat has stopped at 10 weeks so i'll be having an ERPC next week. This is my second miscarriage so i'm pretty gutted. I had a question atomic if that's ok?

Basically, i'd like to catch the first egg after the op as i've read that you have a higher chance of carrying to term straight after a miscarriage. Usually I find out when i'm ovulating using the sticks, but after my last miscarriage they read as positive for months afterwards because of the pregnancy hormones. I could just BD/DTD every day or every other day but I would still like to do just the one attempt to try to sway girl. Any advice on how to know when i'm ovulating? Or does anyone know roughly when I can expect to ovulate after the miscarriage? Last time I had medical management which took ages for my hormones to drop to zero. Presumably as this is an op my hormones would drop to zero almost immediately.

Oh no I'm so sorry to hear that.

What I would have you do instead is to have unprotected sex every 72 hours (for better chance of conception but still good chance of pink) or 96 hours (for possibly better chance of pink, but lower odds of conception). This is our "every 4 day" method and has good results for pink, and you wouldn't have to mess with the sticks.

DO NOT do every other day. That sways blue. And every day both sways blue and also really cuts odds of conception.

I do agree your hormone levels with the procedure will drop a lot quicker though and you may still be able to use the sticks if you want to. But we have good results with the e4d (even in the every 72 hours pattern) and I would just have you do that if you've gotten the all clear from your doctor to have intercourse and TTC.

Unfortunately there's no predicting when you'll ovulate after a miscarriage. It's different for every person, every time, no real rhyme or reason to it. The e4d method will be sure you're always in with a chance of conception though no matter how long it takes.

Good luck and I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for the quick reply and for the advice atomic, i'll give that a try. I think this will be our last try, if we have another miscarriage we're going to stop as i'm not sure I could handle another one after that. So fingers crossed and i'll keep you posted. Thanks again.

Fingers crossed and sending you huge ((((hugs)))).

Hi atomic, i'm very sorry to take your time up again I just had more question if that's ok?

Before I got pregnant this time I was doing quite a good girl sway for about 6 weeks. When I fell pregnant I relaxed about it, a lot, and gained a bit more weight than I probably should've done. Consequently my diet while I was pregnant was quite boy friendly (and I was pregnant for 12 weeks before I lost it). I'm having an ERPC on Monday and was hoping to catch the first egg after that as i've heard that you're more likely to carry to term if you conceive straight after a miscarriage. BUT i'm concerned because my girl sway has been ruined now. I was thinking of doing 2 or 3 weeks quite hardcore in terms of weight loss and exercise but did I read somewhere that girl sway only works if it's gentle?

I suppose I could skip this month which gives me longer to do the girl sway, but then i'd lose any benefit that comes from falling straight after miscarriage. Do you have any advice on this at all?

Thanks in advance.

Hey, please don't apologize, it's what I'm here for and I'm happy to answer all questions you have.

We have good results with conceiving after a loss even when people have been off diet (because EVERYONE goes off diet at BFP, and I want you guys to do that so you're at best chance of having a healthy pregnancy.)

Being strict for 2-3 weeks is not ok. It doesn't sway any harder than a longer, gentler sway and in fact may not be long enough to sway at all. Plus, you run the (very likely risk) of delaying the return of your ovulation.

But that having been said, a girl sway doesn't work only if it's gentle, it's simply that doing a hardcore sway for a short time doesn't work (we have results from people on diet 2-4 weeks, most of whom were extremely strict, and they had poor results compared to those on diet 12+ weeks even though most of them were much more relaxed.) So there's no benefit to doing a hard sway a short time and a great risk that O will be delayed, if that makes sense.

Our results from conception after a loss are at 75%, so it makes the most sense to me to have you guys resume LE Diet (and exercise if you can stand it) at a normal, NOT overly strict/extreme level, and try to catch the first egg with your doctor's approval. And then if you don't get pregnant you'll have longer on diet, without your cycle being all disrupted even more so from lack of food.

But do you have permission to try that soon?? Generally, with 12 weeks' loss and ERPC I prefer to see people wait one or even two cycles and it's fairly unusual for docs to give the ok to try the first month. Luckily the effects of the loss probably last 2 or even 3 months so please don't rush if your doc has not given the ok.

Thank you that's really helpful.

I was prepped for surgery today (had bloods taken and weighed etc.) they didn't mention anything about how soon we could TTC, I should have asked but forgot. When I looked online it seemed to say 2 weeks but I know you know your stuff so I will phone them and check, thank you.

Regarding exercise I was going to start walking for an hour or so a day (I figured I should take it a bit easy after the op) but how intense does the cardio need to be for it to sway do you think? Is a brisk walk enough?

Walking is fine and in fact is my preferred form of exercise. People who try to do too much exercise, too high an intensity often end up injured and there's no evidence it needs to be super strenuous. Most people walk and we get great results with that.

I hope the procedure is very easy on you. :heart:

Thank you, all done now and it was actually much easier than I expected. If anyone wants to ask me anything about it feel free to get in touch.

I asked the surgeon and she said we can start trying straight away, but i'm going to take your advice and wait a bit. Not just for healing purposes but also so I can have a good 6 weeks on the diet and exercise plan. I'm planning on doing a vegetarian keto plan to keep blood sugar low all the time. I find that using the ketostix keeps me motivated. Obviously I wouldn't be doing the normal high fat, high protein version of keto, i'd just be eating low glycemic foods (which usually gets me into ketosis anyway). Do you think that's ok?

Thank you for being willing to share your experience. :heart:

I can't say if that type of diet is good or not. I just don't have enough experience with it to know for sure. I will be happy to follow along and see how it goes for you though!

Thank you. It's keeping blood sugar low enough that your body switches to using your fat stores instead of glucose stores all the time. This releases ketones in your urine so you can pee on a stick and it will go pink if you're in a state of ketosis (fat burning mode). It's kind of like confirmation that you're constantly burning fat, I find it motivates me to stay on the wagon. From what i've read I think it fits with the LE diet.

Just to clarify, I know what a keto diet is and how it works. But I don't know how it might sway. We truly do not know how swaying works - there are lots of theories and any, all, none of them may be true. I always strongly hesitate having you guys proceed on theoretical grounds (even when it's theories that I believe in, like blood sugar) unless I've seen it work for tons of people. I can't in good conscience recommend having you guys do anything I haven't seen 7 zillion other people do in the past so I have a good inkling on how it might sway for them. BUT that's your call to make and like I'm saying, I'm looking forward to seeing how you get along!

Oh no i'm so sorry I totally misunderstood! I must've sounded so patronising haha 🤦*♀️. I find that I don't tend to lose weight unless i'm in ketosis so I think this might be the best thing for me. I'm going to follow all of the LE diet and exercise recommendations i'll just cut out things like fruit and rice. Fingers crossed!

No not at all, I should have written it more clearly. I can absolutely see how that might sway pink, it's just that I can't give it my seal of approval without seeing the results firsthand. Good luck and please do keep me posted! :)

Thank you! I've started my pink sway again, diet and exercise. I just wanted to double check - am I right in thinking that the focus is on low calorie, low protein and low fat, ideally keeping blood sugar low, but there's not so much of a focus on what type of food to eat is that right? So I can have peanut butter, tomatoes etc? I'm basically doing vegetarian, low protein, low fat, low calorie, low carb as much as possible but within those boundaries not worrying so much about types of foods, does that sound ok?

My routine is basically no breakfast but a couple of black coffees, plus take fibre (psyllium husk) and a folate pill. Celery and peanut butter for lunch or asparagus and eggs or dry fried mushrooms and tomatoes. Dinner is salad or roast veg or crudites with vegan cream cheese or soup (no meat). Diet coke, maybe with a splash of alcohol like vodka in the evening. Does that sound ok? I know it's quite strict but if I eat any more than that I don't lose any weight. After 25 years of yoyo dieting my body is a master of clinging onto fat!

Ok. The answer is a little more complicated so please bear with me.

The goal of the LE Diet is not quite as you describe. Yes, it is in a way, but we're aiming at simply eating low-normal ranges of a healthy pre-pregnancy diet. The real goal is to gently reduce fertility a little bit. That's the endgame of the diet, exercise, weight loss. Yes, we are also trying to keep blood sugar somewhat lower, but we honestly don't know how these things all mesh together and how much importance to place on say, blood sugar vs. weight loss. Plus, we need to be eating enough to be able to get and stay pregnant!

The diet is not and never has been low carb, either. While most people do end up eating fewer carbs than they were (since they're limiting calories) that does not equate to a low carb diet, since the percentage of carbs most people eat will actually be higher than it was. Eating a diet that is low protein, low fat, and low carb means there is literally nothing to eat, LOL, since all foods fall into one of those three categories (except maybe like celery sticks or whatever). So I am extremely wary when people show up and tell me things like "I'm just going to do low cal, low fat, and low protein" because by and large those people end up starving themselves.

The minimums of the LE Diet are of critical importance. If you exceed those minimums, you're not doing LE Diet, because the most important part of the diet are the minimums. I can't sign off on such a diet, it's totally at your own risk, and it is entirely likely you'll end up delaying or even stopping ovulation totally (even if you have weight to spare). This backfires on people hugely, because then, you've first sent your body a signal that times are bad, really really bad, so bad it better not even take a chance on a pregnancy, and then in order to get ovulation going again, you basically have to reverse that and even if you just eat more normally, you're still going to be improving in condition. So I really strongly urge you guys not to cut back too far.

The absolute barest minimum I'm willing to have anyone go is 1200 calories, 40 g protein, 30 g fat, and only like 1-3% of people should go that low. Low carb vegetables like asparagus, celery, mushrooms, and fresh tomatoes are free and unlimited. They don't count in your calorie totals, have as much of them as you want. But you STILL need to get up to 1200 cals a day because the goal is not just to lose weight. In fact we have good results with LE Diet even when people don't lose weight. The goal is that you can get pregnant at the end of this.

Also, you do not count the protein or fat in fruit and veg. So if you have been, you need to stop counting those things immediately.

I would have you drop fiber. There is no purpose in your taking it in the morning (only taking it with meals containing fat work for swaying) and you're eating so little fat anyway you need every scrap of it. You're also eating lots of fiber rich veggies and they'll fit the bill.

Can you run even just a sample day so we can see how much you're getting?? You may be shocked to see how little you're actually eating.

Ahhhh ok, excellent explanation thank you. I think what i've done is taken each piece of information that I've read, and assumed the more the merrier and so the more effective it will be for a sway. So if weight loss sways pink, I was aiming to lose a few pounds per week. If low blood sugar sways pink I figured i'd cut carbs and keep it low all the time. But now you've explained fully I see what you mean, the likelihood is that by being so strict I would give up (at least for a bit), thus improving my condition and swaying blue. Or, as you say, then have to improve my condition in order to get pregnant in the first place.

Today I had 3 black coffees, a stick of celery with peanut butter, and roast aubergine with cream cheese. From what you've said that's definitely not enough and having had two miscarriages I don't want to do anything that could make that happen again. I don't know if starving could cause miscarriage but I imagine it can't help. I think part of the reason I went so strict is because I convinced myself I lost the last baby because I was overweight and eating too much junk. As you've probably gathered i'm a bit of an extremist! I think I need some more structure so i'm going to pay for a personalised plan, what's the best way to do this?

That is what people do, but the thing is that more isn't necessarily better.

Yes exactly! What invariably happens with this type of approach is that people delay or stop ovulation, or they keep ovulating but their body is just like "no way am I getting pregnant now!" or they just get tired of the diet since it's so restrictive. Then they give up and eat more and improve their condition and have another boy. I've seen it happen sooo many times! In swaying, slow and steady wins the race!

Starving is not good for getting and staying pregnant, that's for sure. You have a bit more wiggle room since you had some weight to spare (so we very likely will be able to completely get away with this, thankfully it probably won't have a llingering effect as it might have if you were under 18.5 BMI) but yes we need to coursecorrect immediately.

I'd love to make you a personalized plan! The link to get one is here (and you'd want the personalized option, not the readymade plan) https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/payments.php

Thanks, all paid for (I think I purchased the right one). Not quite sure what to do now though x

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Originally Posted by hopefulpink

Thanks, all paid for (I think I purchased the right one). Not quite sure what to do now though x

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The questionnaires to fill out are in this link: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/misc.php?do=forms And thank you!! I'll get it to you as quick as I can.