Should I sway?

Hey all,

A little background -

Have 2 boys and and a 2nd trimester lose with a girl

Didn’t sway with any but looking back there were some differences

Both boys I was at my lowest weights and on or just come off a very low calorie diet.
Conceived first late in my cycle
2nd no idea it was 1 time around the middle of cycle

Girl was in summer had been on 3 holidays and gained weight and drinking wine
Also drinking Diet Coke and I normally only drink water

With girl pregnancy I didn’t think I would get pregnant as it was too early in my cycle but it was a loose guess so can’t rely on timing of that one

Now I’m ready to have another baby and whilst a healthy baby is of course the most important to me I can’t help but want a chance to have a baby girl [emoji175]

I have been reading the site for some time now and considering swaying this time

I feel like my lifestyle was the opposite to what the outcome was - of maybe I’m missing something that did in fact sway?

Driving my self a bit crazy going between just going for it or sway and risk it taking a lot longer

If anyone has any insight that would be great

Guess I’m just getting of my chest really [emoji846]

Xxx


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Oh I'm so sorry to read of your loss.

Swaying is not 100% or anywhere close to it. Not only are there factors that are out of our control that may affect our sway (we don't all have the same chances going in, unfortunately) but there is also a huge luck factor. The best we seem able to get is about 70% success rate consistently, sometimes going as high as 75% and that's the best we seem able to do. It makes sense, of course, because if lifestyle/diet alone could be enough to make 100%, the entire human race would have died out a long time ago.

So when it comes to looking back at what you did, you can never tell if you swayed as much as it was possible to sway, and then just fell into that unlucky group of opposites, or if you had other things going on that we couldn't know about or change, or some combination of both. But I do find that the best results are in focusing on doing what works for most people, most of the time, even if you can say you'd done some of those things.

I do think that most people will have a better chance with swaying, but I don't fault anyone who decides to just try, either. We find that being super detail oriented and control freakish (as in, many of us when we try to sway) very likely sways blue, and so some people may even undermine their chances of success by getting really worked up about swaying and might have been better off just trying. WE honestly cannot know without having a crystal ball what the right thing to do is, but like I said I do think most people are better off swaying than without it.

For reasons we don't understand we see a LOT of girls conceived on holidays. It probably isn't a repeatable tactic but that's something that has seemed to be pink friendly.

Thanks for the detailed response! I think in order to truly sway will take some time and planning and I guess having another baby is more of a priority to me right now and a hopefully healthy pregnancy as we still don’t and probably never will know what went wrong last time

I’m open to more kids in the future so I guess its best to leave it to chance this time

Il enjoy reading all the sways in the meantime [emoji846]


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Do you think the holiday thing is because of plane flights and altitude changes etc?
I know a lot of pilots and scuba divers who have girls!

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Originally Posted by babysdreaming3

Thanks for the detailed response! I think in order to truly sway will take some time and planning and I guess having another baby is more of a priority to me right now and a hopefully healthy pregnancy as we still don’t and probably never will know what went wrong last time

I’m open to more kids in the future so I guess its best to leave it to chance this time

Il enjoy reading all the sways in the meantime [emoji846]


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Even if you could do just one attempt, it may really help. Diet, exercise, one attempt, Clomid or Femara if you can get them are the things that really work. And if you really don't want to do most of that, just do one attempt, it's easy to include and may make all the difference. :) Good luck and pink dust headed your way.

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Originally Posted by Amyaims

Do you think the holiday thing is because of plane flights and altitude changes etc?
I know a lot of pilots and scuba divers who have girls!

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No, I don't. Pilots and scuba divers do have more girls according to studies but they are exposed to changes in altitude and pressure day in and out for years. The occasional airplane flight I do not believe to sway in any way.

Personally I think it is to do with a somewhat stressful, new situation coupled with being in a situation where you are away from all the stuff you normally have to manage and control. So you're both a bit stressed, but incapable of fully indulging the control freakish tendencies we boy moms tend to have, and that sways pink.

Thanks, yeah I think il defo add a few things in it can’t hurt and may make the difference

Yes and I can add the holidays were stressful [emoji23] mostly because I still need to work on holiday and working with just my laptop and poor WiFi is not easy


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Quote:

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Even if you could do just one attempt, it may really help. Diet, exercise, one attempt, Clomid or Femara if you can get them are the things that really work. And if you really don't want to do most of that, just do one attempt, it's easy to include and may make all the difference. :) Good luck and pink dust headed your way.

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Do you know If clomid and Femara prescription only x


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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Amyaims

Do you think the holiday thing is because of plane flights and altitude changes etc?
I know a lot of pilots and scuba divers who have girls!

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This definitely didnt help me - conceived DS shortly after my honey moon (flew from australia to maldives, 12 days of 3-4 scuba dives a day, then flew back home). Conceived DS the cycle after getting home (dangerous to Scuba dive when pregnant)

I also conceived two boys in the weeks after coming back from holiday, with one attempt and at the lowest adult weight!


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Quote:

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Originally Posted by babysdreaming3

Do you know If clomid and Femara prescription only x


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Yes they are but some people order online or get them from friends. Obviously that's not ideal but some do that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Thirdtimelucky01

I also conceived two boys in the weeks after coming back from holiday, with one attempt and at the lowest adult weight!


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None of this is set in stone, guys. Even under ideal circumstances we have that 75% upper window that appears to be unbreachable, which makes sense since if it could ever be 100% with lifestyle changes, the human race would have died out a long time ago.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Yes they are but some people order online or get them from friends. Obviously that's not ideal but some do that.

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Oh ok thanks - and 1 attempt is any time in the fertile window?

Do you think it’s best to do it the day before or the day off O as opposed to doing it a few days before?

Me and OH are early thirties - do we need to consider lowering speed count or just focus on the 1 attempt?

Thanks for your help!


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The best chances of conception with one attempt is 1 or 2 days before ovulation. O Day is less likely, but still possible. More than 2 days before O is slim (on O-3) to no chance (O-4 and beyond)

It's up to you, you could try abstain or daily release prior to the one attempt if you want. Neither works, but people often do want to include them in their sways.

Amazing thanks - day before seems like the safest bet then

I won’t worry about abstaining or Fr x


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Sorry for your loss, you can sway by doing LE diet if you’re not in a hurry to become pregnant, best of luck to you and pink dust

So it turns out I am already pregnant - found out after a very long bleed. Was so unusual for me so took a test and was positive. Went straight for a scan and turned out I was 6 week pregnant despite the bleed! Will have to see how it goes as I’m sure the bleeding could be a bad sign.

Didn’t have a chance to sway this time [emoji846]

In terms of vitamins - what would you suggest? Iv seen not great things about pregnancare and that’s what I have always taken? X


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I always took Women's One a Day (Centrum is also fine) but anything that has about 100% of the recommendation for nutrients (you can go up a little higher on Vit. D, to 250% or 1000 IU total if you'd like) WITHOUT any herbal components in it (even things like ginger, vitex, and raspberry leaf should be avoided) is fine. If you want you can add in a low dose DHA or fish oil 250 mg daily or 500 taken every other day, no more than that. DO NOT take evening primrose oil.

Wasn’t meant to be again [emoji3525] kind of knew it was a doomed due to all the bleeding

Going to focus on loosing the weight I have gained from being pregnant for 7 months and try to figure out what has changed from having 2 healthy pregnancy to two miscarriages back to back






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I'm so sorry to hear it didn't work out.

I do want to mention most of the time losses are just bad luck and not anything you did or didn't do. People waste a lot of time and energy looking for a reason for losses when the vast majority of the time, we can never know and they were probably something out of our control anyway (like a chromosomal abnormality or a mistake in cell division that happened from random chance.) So while it may be good to have some testing done just to rule out obvious and common causes like thyroid issues and clotting disorders, if you're starting to think of everything you've done in your life worrying about every little thing, it was all but certainly none of those things.

Yes this is true, I have had blood work done and most is normal - just waiting for the clotting and antibody tests to come back

I guess it is more the 16 week miscarriage that I find hard to accept just because It doesn’t seem very common, although I’m sure it happens more than I think

Defo not going to be out off having another - will loose the weight in the meantime and should have all results back by then


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Did you have your thyroid tested?

Did you suddenly drop or begin any herbs or other supplements?

Thyroid came back normal

Don’t take anything herbal or any supplements other then the standard ones when pregnant

Can’t think of anything that has changed

I have hemorrhaged with both losses - 1st was 3litres and 2nd 1litre

2nd time was a d&c so they were surprised at the bleeding

so I don’t know if there’s any links with the heavy bleeding and blood disorders - maybe a long shot


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Are you taking fish oil, cranberry, baby aspirin, evening primrose, flaxseed, anything like that?

Nope nothing at all

Never taken supplements

Only ever taken iron supplements when prescribed but not for a few years until the recent blood lose

I have coeliac but has been well managed for since I was 10 and my antibody test came back normal for that in the summer

Xxx


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OK. Wait for the other blood tests to be sure but the odds are good that it was chromosomal and probably won't happen again - you aren't doing any of the more common things we've seen linked to losses. :heart: Keep me posted and let me know if I can help.

Thank you [emoji120] I sure will hopefully be back with some good news soon x


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Sorry to read of your losses babysdreaming, good luck with your journey x