Repost due to glitch Feeling Deflated

There was a problem with my original post so Atomic asked me to repost it. I couldn’t access it either but just downloaded Tapatalk and that let me.
Thanks so much for the replies already on there!


Hi girls, I’m feeling a bit down about things. I have 2 boys and we are hoping and praying to add a girl, my husband has always wanted a Daughter, his sister always had a better relationship with their father and he was always closer to his mother, and although he adores our boys I think he feels like he would miss out on that special father daughter bond if we never have a girl. For me, I’ve always wanted to be a mum and to be honest just expected to have girls for some reason. I’ve never pictured myself as a Boy mum (as anyone on here in the same boat will tell you I’m sure, I actually love it and my boys are everything to me). But if I’d found this forum before we had our first I’d have seen things differently. I’d have known that I’m a classic boy mum- pcos, eat lots of meat especially red meat, sweet tooth so likely have high blood sugar a lot. Lots of nutrients and big portions. My DH has a high sex drive and
I have a boy mum personality, obsessive about things etc. Everything boy swayers do basically!

So I found this forum after we had our first son and began planning my sway. I got Metformin for my pcos and I bought clomid online (from a pharmacy website that no longer sells it). None of it worked, we had another boy. So now I have one lot of Clomid left but it’s out of date and my doctor has referred me to the fertility clinic to see about the Metformin again but I have a feeling they’ll say no this time (I have reason to). This is our last chance, we can’t have more than 3 Children so I feel so much pressure and absolutely no confidence that I’m even capable of having a girl.

I don’t even know what I’m asking here, sorry for the ramble. It’s so hard to talk about in real life especially to dh. I think part of me thinks if he thought I didn’t think there was a chance of a Girl he might pull the plug on dc3.

Thanks if you got this far, it’s nice to know I’m not alone!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I know exactly how you feel. I have two boys too but always saw myself having girls (I'm one of two girls) and knowing that our next is our last I'm wondering if I should even bother trying as I feel like I'm just always going to get boys. I absolutely adore my boys and they are my world, but that doesn't take away the longing I feel for a daughter. I've been self sabotaging so much too by completely going off the rails with my diet, as my eldest has been super challenging lately (the terrible twos are brutal!!) and neither of them sleep so I think I just end up doing ok during the day then binge eating chocolate and ice cream at night because I think what's the point, I don't know if this can even happen for me. I'm a classic boy mum too. I almost get depressed over it at times because it's so hard to know there's something you want so much and you can try so hard but still not get it in the end, and the fear I think is causing me to self sabotage from stress of it all.

I replied to your first post, but am reposting it here for you.


Oh sweetie, I just want to give you a hug! (((Hugs)))!!

Several of us feel, and have felt, exactly as you. It sucks. I feel compelled to reply, because like you, my DH always wanted a girl. I thought we would have a few girls in the mix, because we wanted 3 kids (I wanted 4). I found this site when my DS2 was a few months old. I planned a sway. I obsessed. I’m pretty sure I drove Atomic nuts [emoji2957] (she would never admit it, haha)! My DS3 joined our family. Ok. Hear me out. Don’t despair, keep reading- you are in an excellent position to get your DD! I regrouped. This time, I stuck to what works: LE diet by sticking to the limits. I never budged on this, even once. 1400-1600 calories, intermittent fasting (16-18 hours from last to first meal of the day). No red meat, vegetarian mostly, with a tad of chicken. Veggies- loads of veggies! Fruit to curb my sweet tooth. Milk chocolate instead of dark chocolate. Coffee instead of tea. (For more details, look up both of my sways, failed first one, and the one that led to my DD. Night and day difference!) One attempt, cardio. My goodness cardio!! I walked everywhere!! I too felt doomed, defeated. This behavior shift meant that everything was working to change my condition. Prior to swaying appropriately, I had confidence. Confidence that I would get a DD and my sway would work. Well that didn’t work out! See, when the LE components change our condition, it changes everything. Not to say an opposite still won’t happen, nothing is a complete guarantee. Stay on top of things and stick to what gets the best results. Metformin and Clomid are great, but not the be all end all. You got this! You can do this! We are all here for you!! [emoji1374]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Oh and I should mention I was active on this site for 4+ years and have recently come back to give back. I don’t post a lot, but you can always message me. I am by no means at the level of Atomic or NBP (Nuthin But Pink), but as a former 2 time pink swayer and a mom to 3 boys with many years on this site, I can provide some assistance [emoji16].


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Thanks so much, it helps to get it off my chest!

Sarah I really relate to what you are saying. I don’t feel like my diet was perfect at all, I don’t think I was self sabotaging so much as just thinking that clomid and metformin would be enough, I was at one of my lowest weights too and was drinking coffee which I never do. It’s so hard to think that whether you get your dream is mostly out of your hands. Like you, this is our last shot. We haven’t started the sway yet but planning to start in the new year and maybe try in the summer time.

Xxforhubby, you are so sweet thank you! I’m sure I’ll need plenty of advice along the way. It’s so hard when a sway doesn’t work but I’m so happy you got your girl eventually. That definitely gives me hope.

I think my biggest worry is my PCOS, I know I’ll probably be told not to but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve been considering taking the out of date clomid. It’s out of date this month so the summer when I hope we’ll be ready it’ll be 6 months out of date. Surely it won’t make much difference?
I also eat way more red meat than I did before I had either of my boys, will that hinder me or maybe help me when I cut it out because my body is used to it do you think?

Hi!

I think a lot of us can relate to how you feel. I too have two boys and am desperate for a daughter. My mother passed away, I have no sisters, nieces or even aunties (both parents only have brothers who are divorced), so I long for a female to relate to.

I swayed and got to 12 weeks when NIPT confirmed girl, but I lost her. I’ve picked myself back up again and will try again, but I do wonder if I’ll successfully conceive a girl....

I have PCOS too, and I bought Clomid online (in the U.K.) from dokteronline.com. They do an online consultation before prescribing, and I think the key to me getting it was that a GP had prescribed it to me before.

There are a few sayings I always think of when things start getting to me:
“Never give up. Miracles happen every day.”
“Fortune favours the brave.”

Although I fear gender disappointment, I know how much joy my boys have brought to me, and at least I won’t live the rest of my life wondering “what if?”

Sending you hugs

Hi,

Just jumping on here to say that I also have two boys (1 opposite light girl "sway") and I am definitely in the same boat as you. Hubby will have a 3rd because I want one but he is not super open to swaying (or HT - my preference). I am obsessive and he has told me to stop talking about having a baby girl. I LOVE my boys, but I also grew up with a sister and I am so close with my mom. I worry about when my boys grow up and I lose that relationship with them. I also think if left up to swaying or to completely natural conception I would likely have another boy. You are definitely not alone in your feelings!

That’s how I feel too. I get upset thinking of my boys growing up and me being just someone they feel obliged to visit (I’d like to think we won't have that kind of relationship but it’s just what you hear about boys isn’t it?). When are you going to try?

Tell me more about what you did for your sway the last time. What were you eating. Did you do exercise? Number of attempts??

We actually have better results among PCOSers - it very well may be easier to change your "setting" with PCOS than it is without it. Everyone has a chance!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sarah2017

I know exactly how you feel. I have two boys too but always saw myself having girls (I'm one of two girls) and knowing that our next is our last I'm wondering if I should even bother trying as I feel like I'm just always going to get boys. I absolutely adore my boys and they are my world, but that doesn't take away the longing I feel for a daughter. I've been self sabotaging so much too by completely going off the rails with my diet, as my eldest has been super challenging lately (the terrible twos are brutal!!) and neither of them sleep so I think I just end up doing ok during the day then binge eating chocolate and ice cream at night because I think what's the point, I don't know if this can even happen for me. I'm a classic boy mum too. I almost get depressed over it at times because it's so hard to know there's something you want so much and you can try so hard but still not get it in the end, and the fear I think is causing me to self sabotage from stress of it all.

---

You guys, PLEASE don't base any feelings about having boys on when they're two!! Little boys can be tough but I promise things change as thy get older, you'll discover tons of things in common with them. My oldest son turned 28 years old yesterday and my two older boys (28 and 25) are my best friends, truly (and not in a weird way, either.) They are just AMAZING and growing up it was like the Gilmore Girls x2 even though they're boys LOL. Gender disappointment sucks for sure but many, many of the fears we have about raising boys are completely unfounded, as you will learn as they get older and you find all this stuff in common with them!!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by babygirlwishing

Hi,

Just jumping on here to say that I also have two boys (1 opposite light girl "sway") and I am definitely in the same boat as you. Hubby will have a 3rd because I want one but he is not super open to swaying (or HT - my preference). I am obsessive and he has told me to stop talking about having a baby girl. I LOVE my boys, but I also grew up with a sister and I am so close with my mom. I worry about when my boys grow up and I lose that relationship with them. I also think if left up to swaying or to completely natural conception I would likely have another boy. You are definitely not alone in your feelings!

---

You don't have to lose that relationship with them, though. Trust me, as one of the few people on here with adult sons, I never lost that relationship with them. Literally every woman I know is estranged from their mothers in some way, and literally every man I know is close with their moms! This is not destiny, it's just a cultural trend (and certainly isn't the case in many other cultures like in Asia and Africa....the boy stays, the girl goes) This is not a real thing I promise.

LA girl I’m so sorry I somehow missed your comment earlier.
It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, I can’t even imagine. Praying you get your girl.
I’ve never heard of that website before I wonder if it’s worth a shot! I got my clomid last time from oxford pharmacy online.

Atomic I was doing exercise, nothing much just walking for an hour most days. We had 2 attempts because I was doing OPK’s and I panicked that they weren’t going to turn positive as it was getting on in my cycle so we dtd then the next day I got a positive and since I was using clomid I really wanted to get pregnant. It had also been the second month trying and I was impatient (that sounds ridiculous but we’ve always fallen first time, 3 losses and 1 child at the time) so we dtd again.
My diet is where I let myself down. It wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t perfect, I have a sweet tooth so was Allowing myself something sweet after dinner a lot thinking the metformin would make up for it.
I was drinking coffee and I also had a few alcoholic drinks leading up to ovulation.
Oh I don’t know where to even start with a sway now.
What do you think about the red meat? I eat a lot of it do you think that will go against me or because I’m cutting it out after eating a lot it might shock my body or something?

I think the most important thing for you is to stick to the alternate diet without the sugar. I think that's more important than the red meat, to be honest. I would of course like to see you cut back on red meat and stick in the limits, but let's be sure you've got rid of as much sugar as we possibly can.

Thanks Atomic. I will definitely give up the red meat for my sway, I just wondered if because I’m normally a big meat eater it might work against me.
How long is optimum for a girl sway now?

12 weeks on diet or more.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

You don't have to lose that relationship with them, though. Trust me, as one of the few people on here with adult sons, I never lost that relationship with them. Literally every woman I know is estranged from their mothers in some way, and literally every man I know is close with their moms! This is not destiny, it's just a cultural trend (and certainly isn't the case in many other cultures like in Asia and Africa....the boy stays, the girl goes) This is not a real thing I promise.

---

Hi atomic, my DH has a difficult relationship with his mom (for a lot of good reasons), so I think this is where my fear stems from. But it is reassuring to hear that you have maintained a healthy/close relationship with your boys.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by EnglishDame

That’s how I feel too. I get upset thinking of my boys growing up and me being just someone they feel obliged to visit (I’d like to think we won't have that kind of relationship but it’s just what you hear about boys isn’t it?). When are you going to try?

---

I think I actually got hubby on board for HT so I am hoping, hoping, hoping that we can have a baby girl by the end of 2021. My youngest son was born March 15, 2019 so I don't want too much of an age gap between them. I would also wait until 2022 though :) I said I wanted to be done having kids by 30 (I'm 26) so we do have 4 years until my cut off date.