Comeback needed!

Hi ladies,

I had a failed sway last year (that is the last time I will refer to my gorgeous baby using that term!) and my baby boy is 8 months old. I am so glad that he is part of our family and he melts my heart every day. HOWEVER, I still want a daughter to complete our family. Last month I had a failed PGD IVF cycle and it was so emotionally draining. My husband and I have decided that we don't want to go down that path again...... so here I am!

Only a few people know about our attempt at IVF. I confided in a few friends that we were going to attempt to sway instead. I really wish I hadn't!! They made me feel silly for believing that I could swing the odds and went on and on about the fact that it is the man and his sperm that determine the sex of a baby. I know they are only trying to protect me but I feel like I need a comeback to the points they raise and I don't know enough to fight my corner.

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Hi and welcome. 😊
I'm sorry it didn't work out with IVF.
And I can so much understand that the comments bother you. It's always the comments. I cannot understand why people can't be supportive.
Do you really want to have a discussion with your friends or family? It's kinda nice you want to tell them. But don't you think it might depress you more? I know people in RL that are just so stubborn, even if you explain everything, they will say 'well no, I don't believe it'. And that is to me so insanely frustrating.
So actually I stopped explaining anything.
You can tell them whatever you want, of course. I mean, even without swaying everybody has a chance at both genders. So chances are you can have your girl. 😊
If you want to have a point: let them read about Trivers Willard themselves. If they still won't acknowledge it, let it go.
I know it's hard. But you don't have to defend your actions.
Good luck and pink dust. 💖

I think you just need to stop talking about it. People who have made up their minds are unconvinceable even with all the data we've seen in the past 10 years indicating that gender is somewhat under the control of the egg. I don't bother to talk to people about it and I'm the expert! It's like talking to a brick wall, even when you show them study after study they just never change their mind and it's not worth it.

I do have a helpful post for YOU to read, but I'd not put yourself through it any more trying to discuss it with other people.

https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...-part-1-a.html

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Originally Posted by Lailanela

Hi and welcome. 😊
I'm sorry it didn't work out with IVF.
And I can so much understand that the comments bother you. It's always the comments. I cannot understand why people can't be supportive.
Do you really want to have a discussion with your friends or family? It's kinda nice you want to tell them. But don't you think it might depress you more? I know people in RL that are just so stubborn, even if you explain everything, they will say 'well no, I don't believe it'. And that is to me so insanely frustrating.
So actually I stopped explaining anything.
You can tell them whatever you want, of course. I mean, even without swaying everybody has a chance at both genders. So chances are you can have your girl. 😊
If you want to have a point: let them read about Trivers Willard themselves. If they still won't acknowledge it, let it go.
I know it's hard. But you don't have to defend your actions.
Good luck and pink dust. 💖

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:agree: It's called cognitive dissonance, some people when they believe something to be true, literally cannot change their mind about it. Their brains will go to the greatest lengths to continue holding their beliefs, and this is even true when things have overwhelming data in support of them. There is no convincing someone who's in this state of mind because their brains are just dead set on continuing to believe what they believe that they're literally incapable of listening to the evidence.

Here's a very long and involved article about Trivers Willard that most people probably would not be interested in, but jut for your own peace of mind if you wanted to know more about it: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...ypothesis.html

I've been told i should change my husband if i want a girl :twins:

Thank you so much for the info, very interesting. I agree that some people have such a fixed mindset that it's not worth my energy to try and change their views.



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Originally Posted by Lulila

I've been told i should change my husband if i want a girl :twins:

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hey, I had the same husband for 22 years before he gave me a girl!!

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

hey, I had the same husband for 22 years before he gave me a girl!!

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Just hilarious the comments we get. A neibhbour told my DH to talk to her and she will tell me the trick that she and her friend did to have girls. I can't wait to hear about it, because it will probably be about timing (which I can prove it doesn't work!!!) or any old wives lol.

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Yep that's true for sooo many of us, timing opposite after timing opposite!! Although at least those people seem to get it, what I hate the most are those who will say "it doesn't matter at all, sheesh" as they sit there with their boy and their girl that they got effortlessly just by having sex two times and are therefore convinced they know how the world works! :)

Just popping around to tell you my neighbour told me the "trick" to have girls. As I imagined, is doing a 3 day cutoff [emoji1787][emoji1787][emoji1787] she and 2 friends had girls dtd 3 days before ovulating. Then talking about her habits, apart from being in her 40s, she had a girl-friendly lifestyle.


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It never fails! And so many of these people when you question them further you end up finding out they'd never had a regular cycle to begin with, but the month they got pregnant they just magically KNOW they had sex 3 days before ovulation.

Wanna swap? I’m getting told the same to get a boy :p:p

My sister has GBBBG. She swears a cutoff is how she got her daughters (except #3 was an opposite...). I suspect many successful girl pregs from timing are due to what is actually one attempt.
I've also observed in lots of families with lots of boys, they had their girl first and/or last. Suggests lifestyle factors involved. Like a crappy student diet, living on coffee with #1, then at home parenting and snacking alot with #2 & #3.
Anyway, to the OP, I'd just not talk about it unless they're curious to hear. I've found some people to be very judgey about this topic and that to be somewhat hurtful to you if you have a deep seated desire for a daughter (or son) . Those are rarely people who have 3+ of the same gender though fme!

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^^^^ I'll just reiterate the huge, huge number of people who have 1 of one gender, then several in a row of the opposites (and of course the several in a row of one, then an opposite, although I'm inclined to chalk that up to just stopping when you get the DG) That's why I often look at the megafamilies like the Duggars, who have a long run of BG mixed, then a long run of B, then a long run of G, all of which are longer than any of us have! It truly does appear that many couples do fall into trends (due to lifestyle) for a while where they have a lot of one nd then have the other.

this makes me think about the family that used to be Britains biggest family before the Radfords overtook them. They had 15 kids in total, 3 girls then 6 boys then 6 girls. In the documentary the dad says "we had 3 girls and thought we'd never get a boy, then we had 6 boys in a row and were left wondering if we'd ever have another girl, then 6 more girls came along!"