Miscarriage - AF came back today - swaying for a boy - help!

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site and would love some help. Apologies for the long post! I'm 37 years old (38 in July) and have 2 beautiful girls (ages 5&3). DH and I thought we were done but decided last year to try again in hopes that we would get a boy (but would of course be happy either way). I've always been able to get pregnant really easily which is something I am super thankful for. I got pregnant in November 2019 and thought for sure this time it was a boy as my symptoms were SO different this time around.

Fast forward to my NIPT results, when my doctor called me to tell me that my baby had a 91% chance of having Down Syndrome. We were devastated. I asked her to hold off on telling us the gender until we had our CVS results done. The potential Down Syndrome diagnosis had us reeling and all we cared about was finding out if it was 100% for sure so we could figure out how to best prepare for our baby.

Two days later I started cramping pretty badly and made an appt with my doc for an ultrasound. I was nearly 11 weeks. As soon as we saw the baby I knew I miscarried. The baby hadn't grown since 9.5 weeks and there was no longer a heartbeat. I was, again, devastated. We scheduled a D&C for 1/27, which would have been the date of our CVS anyway. I asked about the gender and found out it was a little girl. While this was a very sad situation for us I am ready to move on. My very first pregnancy at age 31 also resulted in a miscarriage, so I'm not new to miscarriages. But now at age 37 I feel I am running out of time and would like to conceive as soon as possible.

I stumbled upon this website years ago and made an account and then completely forgot about it. I started reading the threads again last week and would love some help for a boy sway. I started AF today so I'm wondering what I can do between now and my O date that can help? I've upped my Folate intake but what other supplements should I take? I'm at a loss and need help.

Thank you!!

Hi and welcome back!

I generally recommend waiting at least a month after a D and C, if not two - what did your doc say about this? When will you ovulate? Is your period nice and heavy this time or very light??

I would have you taking 2000 mcg folate, a prenatal or multivitamin like Women's One a DAy or Centrum that has only 100% of most nutrients (avoid those vitamins that have massive doses of nutrients in them, or anything with herbs in it)

I'd have you on 400 mcg coq10 (ubiquinol) and a total of 1000 IU Vitamin D (including the amount in your prenatal.) and a probiotic of some type.

I would have you take a fish oil or DHA supp of no more than 500 mg.

Most people also add in guaifenesin 200 mg starting about 5 days before you expect ovulation, and continuing till 3 days after ovulation.

Do you plan on doing timing or changing the number of attempts?? We are having best results for boys with 3 attempts in the fertile window.

Hi Atomic, thanks so much for your response! My doctor advised us to wait for first AF and then begin trying right away. My cycles are usually pretty regular (28 days) so since I started AF today, I would assume that I will ovulate in exactly 2 weeks. I feel ovulation pretty strongly (sometimes worse than AF cramps).

Thank you for the advice on the BD! So funny - with my previous 3 pregnancies (including the miscarriage) we only had 1 attempt during the fertile window and they all resulted in girls. Who knew??? I will definitely make sure that we have 3 attempts this time!!!

As for supplements, I've been taking Garden of Life once daily prenatal (plus additional folate) but I saw in other threads that it's not your favorite. Here is what I just ordered on Amazon to be delivered today. Can you please let me know what else I need to order and/or if this looks good?

1. Women's One a Day (does this include the amount of Vitamin D I need or should I get more?)
2. NOW supplements Ubiquinol 100 MG (should I order 400 instead?)
3. Nordic Naturals Prenatal DHA 800 mg + 400 IU D3

What kind of probiotic do you recommend? Can I get probiotic gummies?


As for the food portion, this is where I am really stuck. I've been kind of in calorie cutting mode as I recently went through a strict diet in Sept/Oct and lost 17 lbs so I could get back to my pre-pregnancy weight (which I did). I gained 7 lbs back a couple of weeks ago after the D&C so I've been trying to lose it. After reviewing the HE diet I think I'm realizing that I'm not a huge animal protein eater and maybe that is why I keep getting pregnant with girls. I love eggs (lately been eating egg whites), and will add chicken to my salads for lunch, but other than that I don't really eat much animal protein. I hate cheese so that's completely off the list for dairy. What recommendations do you have for someone who prefers not to eat a lot of starchy carbs and wants to remain healthy while TTC a boy? I'm definitely 100% committed to eating more protein. Can I add Calcium/Magnesium/Potassium supplements to help?


ETA: It technically has been 1 month since the D&C (just a few days shy). Today is day 1 so I'm not 100% sure yet if it's super heavy or not but it looks like it's going to be a bad one.

Sorry to hear about your little one:(

You say that you eat egg whites atm, can yo make these the full egg as I believe most of the goodness is in the yolk. Plus if you have a bowl of cashew or almonds around as a go to snack they are excellent source of protein and goodness. I was swaying blue a few years ago, succesfully thanks AS:bigsmile:, I was lucky to be able to maintain any weight gain by doing weight lifting around the home and turned all the extra nutrients into muscle which is recommended and also made me look fab that summer!:bigsmile: can you get a simple set of dumbells and literally do turn arm curls every time you walk past them:agree:

:agree: ok in that case let's go for it!

Oh me too with the ovulation cramps, I am debilitated by them.

Yes I cannot stand Garden of Life. Women's One a Day is better and yes it has the recommended amount of D in it. Do be sure to wean from GoL to One a Day though - as they have different amounts of nutrients.

Anywhere from 100-400 is fine on the Ubiquinol, we aren't sure if more is better. I'd split the difference and take 200 (so two of those)

Let's take the Nordic Naturals every other day as that's a little higher than I like

Any probiotic you recognize the name brand and can get it easiy is fine. Gummies are a-ok by me.

You don't need cal/mag/potassium, you'll get that in the One A Day and from your food.

Fine not to eat starchy carbs. The diet does have "protein plus carbs" but you can get those carbs from fruits and vegetables, and it doesn't need to be a lot of carbs anyway. Just enough so you're not in ketosis, LOL

Ok. That's good to have a decent flow after the D and C, it means you likely built up a lining (and ovulated) and also you'll have gotten rid of anything left over that the docs may have missed. All systems go!

Thanks for the feedback!! I'll definitely start eating more cashews and almonds.

Thanks Atomic! Do you think swaying for just 2 weeks up to my ovulation will make any kind of difference?

Yes! Plus, that way if you don't get pregnant (or ovulate later than you think) you won't have wasted that time!

Awesome thanks!! Also do you know if elderberry sways? Been taking gummies here and there for immunity.

We don't have enough info to know for sure, but a few gummies here and there can't hurt.

Hi again Atomic and thanks for answering all my questions!!!

I wanted to know if you know of any vitamins/etc that I could take to prevent Down Syndrome. With my last pregnancy that ended in miscarriage we got the NIPT results saying 91% chance of Down Syndrome. I'm nervous that with my age (37, turning 38 in July) that we would have a repeat. Any tips?

Down Syndrome is just bad luck - it can happen to anyone at any age but as we age it's more likely. It has to do with errors in the DNA that happen randomly and not something that is caused by lower nutrients.

It's really very unlikely that taking any vitamins can help prevent DS. It is also most probably something that will not ever happen again, but one study did seem to find that in women who take 2000 mcg folic acid or folate (which is what I recommend for blue anyway) it ~may~ have been less likely that they had chromosomal abnormalities with the egg. I am not super sold that this is legitimate but it's certainly worth a try. Start right away and take all thru the first trimester of pregnancy and then gradually wean off by spacing doses further and further out till down to one per week, then you can drop it.