Help me Atomic!!

Dear Atomic

I am so unsettled because I am not sure that I understand you correctly. I really want a girl.

1st variant:
0-1 (previously 7 days of emptying)

2nd variant:
0-2 (previously 5 days abstaining)

Which variant do you recommend to me?

My boy was conceived on 0-1 or 0 (previously 3 times BD)

We have already practiced 0-3 / 0-2 but did not work ... I would be so grateful to you for an answer, I simply do not know how to do it because I did not fully understand an important post from you.

Either O-1 or O-2 with 7 days of emptying OR 7 days of abstaining is correct. The difference is in the husband's age.

You can pick either O-1 or O-2, whichever you prefer. Since you have tried with O-2, I would try O-1 now.

If your husband is over 35 years of age then do the 7 days of emptying. If he is younger than 35 do the abstaining.

Thank you very much for your answer. I am very grateful.

Another question, I only take folic acid and magnesium (200-300 mg) to fluctuate pink. Can I take magnesium or do I not recommend it?

This is my last question :-) Thank you for your time !!!

Thank you very much for your answer. I am very grateful.

Another question, I only take folic acid and magnesium (200-300 mg) to fluctuate pink. Can I take magnesium or do I not recommend it?

This is my last question :-) Thank you for your time !!!

Thank you very much for your answer. I am very grateful.

Another question, I only take folic acid and magnesium (200-300 mg) to fluctuate pink. Can I take magnesium or do I not recommend it?

This is my last question :-) Thank you for your time !!!

You are supposed to take calcium and magnesium if you are using the mineral diet.

Personally, I don't think either of them actually work, and I do not recommend you take the magnesium OR calcium.

Dear Atomic

I'm sorry to bother you again. But I'm so unsure. Unfortunately, it didn't work again this month (sex 0-2).
On 0-2 I got the fallopian tubes flushed out by the gynecologist (at noon) and had sex in the evenings.

Which worries me a lot. They say if man is over 36 then sex is every day. However, my gynecologist said that the likelihood of pregnancy is highest if the man abstains as long as possible beforehand.

My second problem is that I am convinced of the theory on ES like boys before ES like girls.

I just don't dare to go 0-1 with daily sex.

Don't you also think that sex 0-2 with 7 days of emptying gives higher conception than 0-2 with daily emptying (according to my gynecologist)?


Thanks again for your answer. You are so great and I am glad to have found you.

I think we may be having some confusion on "emptying." I thought you meant having your husband ejaculating??

Your gynecologist is wrong - abstaining for more than 7 days actually makes some of the sperm start to die, otherwise he would explode if he kept making more and more sperm. :)

I am not telling you to do daily sex. You need to have only ONE unprotected attempt. DO NOT DO DAILY SEX FOR PINK! You either have sex using protection like condoms, or your husband ejaculates on his own. But have only one unprotected attempt for a girl. If you feel you must do that attempt O-2 that is up to you.

Both daily emptying and abstaining cut odds of conception by a lot.

All right, now I understand everything.

Another curious question. Do you have better experiences with:

7 days abstention and then one try or

daily emptying and then ONE attempt?

Thanks a lot :-)

We have gotten about the same results over time. Right now I think abstain has slightly better results, but in the past daily release has. Since both of them are much less successful than the site as a whole, I suspect that neither of them works.

dear atomic

we tried 0-2 again with a single attempt after flushing my fallopian tubes.

now i'm very insecure since i had an orgasm on one try. on the ovulation day we had no sex but an orgasm. can that fluctuate blue now? Should I be worried?

Thank you for your answer!

I personally doubt orgasms sway much. We have done many polls and threads and found that many moms of all girls always had them. I wouldn't worry about this.

hello atomic. unfortunately it didn't work for us again. we would now try the method with 7 days of abstinence. My question:

Does my husband have to empty 7 days outside and then have intercourse (the 8th time) or 6 days outside and then have intercourse (the 7th time)?

Another question, is it correct that it has to be 7 days? 4 or 5 are not enough to fluctuate pink?

One more time: THANKS

Again, I think we are having some confusion on what abstain is. Abstain means that your husband does not ejaculate anywhere for 7-10 days before having one attempt.

What you are describing sounds like daily release. It is fine to do daily release, and in that case have him release 7 days and then have attempt inside on the 8th day.

Yes, it needs to be 7 days. 4-5 does not seem to be enough.

Excuse me, I understand you correctly. Either daily emptying (outside) with one attempt or 7-10 days of abstinence with one attempt.

I read something else on genderdreaming. I notice that they often speak of a cutoff of 2-3 days. If the 7-10 days are too long for my husband, can you also abstain for 2-3 days and then recommend a try?

I am firmly convinced of the timing with a try, how would you best do it to get pregnant quickly?

They always talk to fluctuate pink, a small amount of sperm is needed. After 7-10 days of abstinence, according to a study, it was found that the quality of the sperm decreases but the amount increases?

high sperm count = boy?
how does that fit together to fluctuate pink ??

No. Abstaining 2-3 days does not do anything. It has to be no ejaculation for your husband for 7-10 days.

The sperm with an abstain is lower quality and much of it cannot swim to the egg. That means it still lowers sperm numbers.

I am fine with you leaving abstain out if you would like. Neither abstain nor daily release has worked that well for us.

Many thanks. May I ask how you did timing with your girl?

Do you recommend yam? I'm afraid I have a low progesterone level (measure temperature) but I don't want to take Clomi. Can you also recommend something to me?
How much folic acid should i take?

Thank you very much Atomic, you are great as you keep writing back

My husband and I had sex every 4 days or so.

Yam supplements do not work. The kind of progesterone in them is not usable by your body. The yam creams they sell only have a very small amount of progesterone and are meant for menopausal women, not women trying to conceive.

Is your luteal phase 14 days after ovulation??

I like you guys to take 1200-1600 mcg of folic acid or better yet, folate. Take this even into your pregnancy, for the entire first trimester, and then wean off slowly to the amount in the prenatal.

dear atomic thank you all very well.

a question, I'm using the clearblue monitor. now he shows me the 3rd high today and tomorrow I will have a Max (I'm sure). we had GV on the 2nd up, can I now have GV again at the 3rd up and then stop at MAX tomorrow? have heard that 3 days before ES the likelihood of pregnancy is low? may I again today as it is still 2 days before ES or is there still only one attempt?

Thanks for your quick reply. LG

I prefer you guys do one attempt at the peak (max). I would not have any more attempts till the peak comes.

do you think frequent sex or frequent release generally increases male testosterone levels? thank you!

No.

And male testosterone levels have never been proven to sway anyway.

Dear Atomic

I'm writing to you again, I'm sorry I'm a little desperate.

I think I had good ovulation (Lutel phase of 14-16 days) and my Clearblue always shows me 2 days max. I also always have a very good cervix. We had sexual intercourse with one attempt (and different variants) 2 days (in the evening) before ovulation. I am pretty sure that ovulation takes place in the morning from the 2nd max because the cervix then changes.

I also respect nutrition as much as possible according to your plan. Coffee in the morning with whole milk since I'm in line. I don't do any sport anymore (no time work and child). Often eat yogurt, lettuce, some pasta for the weight, lots of rice. In the evening often cheese with bread and regular alcohol.

But it doesn't want to work, do you think I'm too far away from ovulation?

I always have brown light spotting 1-2 days before the period is that bad?

Can you give me any tip? Do I really have to get that close to ovulation? (I believe in Shettles). Can you recommend something like chaste tree or something else to support (except Clomi, would like to sway pink)?


I am currently a little desperate and would be happy to hear from you.

Kind regards

If you are having a luteal phase of 16 days, I suspect you are ovulating sooner than you realize and may be missing ovulation. If you are having attempt 2 days before O then yes you should try a day closer and have sex the day before O. But if you can't give up Shettles then you're just going to have to be patient.

You cannot tell what time of day you've ovulated from changes in the cervix. I know they say that on other sites but it's been proven completely untrue. Even highly trained experts can't pin down ovulation to the day, let alone the time of day.

Do not take chaste tree. It doesn't work and has really messed up people's menstrual cycles.

ARe you doing anything else that may cut odds of conception? Like having your husband wear tight underwear or take hot baths, or shallow release, or any douching???

so don't you think that ovulation could be later during a Lutel phase? (You write earlier, then I would have had sexual intercourse exactly at ovulation). I almost always suspected ovulation on days 11-13, according to the Clearblue Monitor as well as the cervix.

I read on this page as soon as the ovulation is over the cervical mucus changes whitish again?

No we don't do anything else, I also have an orgasm. added. Do you think it is realistic to get pregnant 2 days before ovulation? or do I have to advance a day?

Thanks Atomic for always replying.

Ugh, yes, sorry, I had a splitting headache that day and I even remember thinking "something about this answer is not right" but I couldn't figure out what word I wrote wrong LOL

It is highly unusual for the LP to go more than 14 days. So if you're having what you think is a 16 day LP with any regularity the chances are you're not ovulating when you think you are. For example, if you were thinking you ovulated CD 11 and have a 16 day LP I can promise you are not ovulating on CD 11. So you're giving yourself no chance of conception that way.

Without seeing where I wrote that, I would assume that was a very old post or a post where I was simply explaining the basics of some other method (I have a few posts where I explain in plain English how to do a sway tactic I don't happen to agree with). But we are not finding - and more importantly, studies have proven - that cervical mucus is a very reliable way of pinning down ovulation. Yes, at some point your cervical mucus does go creamy and then dry after ovulation, but that does not seem to happen on a reliable timeline that you can know when you ovulate for sure. We are having people who have dry CM the day before ovulation, and people who are having stretchy CM the day after ovulation still (I got my daughter in a month where I had EWCM after ovulation)

It is possible to get pregnant with sex 2 days before ovulation but I am worried you're not ovulating when you think you are.

Could you explain (and sorry if you already did this, I just need to be sure) when on the Clearblue you're having your attempt? Flashy smiley or peak smiley?

My LP phase is usually 14 days. In my opinion, however, the temperature does not rise "really clearly" until 3-5 days after ovulation.

We always have intercourse on the 3rd HIGH EVENING and the next morning I have the 1st Max on the Clearblue Monitor. Then I have clearly 2 dark stripes. So I'm already assuming that I'm ovulating? My doctor also suspected that there was ovulation (we were late, but suspected one).

Then I guess I just have to be patient? Do I have to worry about spotting 2 days before the period?

Another question. I only believe in Shettels because of "Hazel Philippsen" do you know them? I find this book very interesting .....

to your question, my Clearblue Monitor has that 1. Max mostly on cycle day 12 and the second Max. on cycle day 13. The period mostly starts again on day 28.

When you get the first peak (max) on the Clearblue you can be anywhere from 24-48 hours or even longer before ovulation. So by having attempt on the day of a high reading you may be 2-3 days or even more before your ovulation. My concern remains the same - if you are attempting too early you have very low chance of conception. It is fine to carry on doing that if it's important to you but just understand you are going to have lower chances of conceiving than you would have otherwise.

What you're describing is a 28 day cycle with ovulation on CD 14. This isn't set in stone but based on what you're telling me this is the most likely situation.

If you are having your period come and your cycle is fairly regular then the odds are all but 100% you are ovulating. I am just worried you're ovulating later than you think.

If your LP is usually 14 days then that's no big deal, it's just that I have people tell me very often they are ovulating early with a long LP and then they cannot conceive with that timing.

Since it seems your LP is 14 days, 2 days of spotting before the period is not unusual and not abnormal. That is still a perfect LP and fine for conception.

Yes, I'm aware of the Hazel Chesterman Phillips books. It is the same set of assumptions that Dr. Shettles made because he was wrong about X and Y sperm. X sperm are not big, slow, and do not live an unusually long time. Y sperm are not small, fast, and die quick. All that stuff was a very big mistake that we now have completely proven untrue. Dr. Shettles, and all the theories based on his work, mistook capacitated sperm (small, fast, ready to fertilize an egg, and die quickly) and uncapacitated sperm (big, slow, dormant, and long lived) for Y sperm and X sperm. But the big and small sperm had nothing to do with the gender of the sperm at all. It was all whether or not they were ready to fertilize an egg. So all that stuff to do with timing is completely wrong and debunked by modern researchers using technology that Dr. Shettles did not have back in the 60's.

Super Atomic, thank you so much you are so lovely :-)

One more question, since I've been on a diet, my period has changed. Before, I always had a very, very strong period (iron deficiency again and again) since the diet is much less strong. Is this a good or bad sign to fluctuate pink or doesn't it matter?

I got folic acid from the doctor with 0.4 (equivalent to 4000mg I think) that would be too much to fluctuate pink right? it should only be 1200-1800 mg?

I will keep trying and maybe find out more. I will keep you up to date, thank you very much!

It is a good sign for pink and was what many of us noticed. Much lighter periods and often coming at a different time of day (later in the day rather than first thing in the morning). This actually does not mean you have an iron deficiency (though if you have one, you should take iron, not sure if we talked about this yet - I'll go back and reread our messages). Many times people with low iron have terribly heavy periods because their blood isn't clotting properly.

I prefer you guys take 1200-1600 unless you have had a baby with a neural tube defect.

I'm not seeing anything about anemia in this thread, but if you have reason to think you're low in iron I recommend taking 18-60 mg iron (avoid the irons that come in hundreds of doses as they're badly absorbed and are upsetting to the tummy) daily for 2 weeks. If you notice a drastic, dramatic improvement - more energy, less tired, able to catch your breath if you weren't able to before - then take that dose for 6 weeks, then try to go to 3x a week maintenance dose. If when you do that, you start to feel worse, continue the daily dose. If after 2 weeks you don't notice any improvement I'd still just have you take it 3x a week anyway just in case. It doesn't seem to negatively affect a sway and it is hard to get enough iron on LE Diet, so when there is any doubt I would have you take the iron just to be on the safe side.

so maybe I have to explain it. I always had an iron problem before my pregnancy (also got infusions). Since I was pregnant, my iron value has been top. I haven't measured for a while, but I don't feel specifically tired or anything.

I was just afraid because my period is suddenly less and, as you say, occurs later in the day, that I might be missing any nutrients and therefore I am not pregnant. Do you know what I mean? So that means it doesn't have to be a bad sign?

It is not a bad sign. That is part of what happens with the sway. It is happening to many of us and has to do with changes in hormones, not nutrient levels. We have had people who saw these changes in their period and were worried so they had testing done and they weren't low in anything.

If you have a history of anemia just try the 3x a week dose as a preventative.

Thank you very much Atomic. Do you think that 6 days of abstinence and then intercourse fluctuates blue 2 days before ovulation? Or can that fluctuate pink?

Do you have a timing recommendation that works best? Time and time of abstinence?

And I understand that correctly, I always have spinnable protein-like mucus first and then creamy. So can it be that the ovulation of the creamy is not over yet? correct?

THANKS ATOMIC!

No, because timing does not work. It doesn't affect sways at all. Just have one attempt.

If there was a recommendation I would give it to you guys. The only thing that actually works is the one attempt. Abstain and timing don't seem to work. Have one attempt, and have it at a place in time when you can actually conceive (do not have this attempt too soon or too late, or you won't get pregnant)

Mucus is not very reliable to tell if ovulation has happened. While you can see trends, it does not work to the exact day and you can't rely on it to tell you if the egg has been released.

all clear i understand, it also makes sense. But you always talk about this one try reducing the amount of sperm and increasing the chance of pink.

So is it correct that the more days you are abstaining (1-6) the more the sperm count increases the more you fluctuate blue or? Do you know what I mean?

Thanks for your response to cervical mucus. There are also many pages on the Internet that the cervix immediately changes whitish creamy again after ovulation. I'll take care of it, thanks :-)

hello atomic. have you received my message? thanks for your effort

It sometimes takes me a couple days to get back to people. Thanks for your patience.

By this time, 10 years after this site was begun, we have a good body of data that shows us what works. Abstain does not work. Timing (we know from scientific studies) does not work. One attempt DOES work. So we try to do the things that work and not the things people imagine, if that makes sense. Reducing sperm numbers is a THEORY. Abstain not working seems to be a fact since it has not added anything to our success rates. We know one attempt works because we saw that in our results.

No, it is not correct that the more days you abstain the more blue it is. Abstaining too long makes sperm die and then it also makes the body stop producing sperm. So abstaining many days can actually lower sperm count and that is why we thought it swayed pink (though it has not worked really)

Dear Atomic. Take your time, you will certainly have a lot of work to do, thanks for your effort.

I will keep trying. One question, with my Clearblue the lines on the test stick on the 1st Max day (especially the right one) are much more intense than on the 2nd Max day. Could that mean that ovulation takes place on the 1st max day or certainly early on the 2nd max day? Do you know anything about that?

One more question, since I've been following the LE diet, I've been feeling ovulation for the first time (relatively severe back pain) including light red-brown spotting (with mucus) is that a bad sign? I am a bit worried?

The darkness of the lines does not tell you when the ovulation has occurred or even if it has or not. You can't count on that. You will ovulate 24-36 hours on average after the first positive test regardless of whether it's the darkest positive.

Changes in cycle with swaying are normal and many report either their O pains go away, or they start having O pains when they never did before.

When is the spotting happening?? how many months has this occurred?