Intro and needing advice on starting sway!

Hi everyone,

This is my first post on here but I have been reading around for quite some time now! I’m interested in starting my own blue sway in a few months (Dec 2020-Jan 2021). I have a beautiful daughter whom I did not sway for but after reading on here, I’ve realised I was definitely living girl friendly prior to conceiving my daughter.

I took extended maternity leave after having my daughter and will be going back to work next year. My question is; should we begin our blue sway before I go back (Dec 2020) or after I’ve returned? My job can be quite stressful and I’m predicting it’s going to be a challenge to adjust to being a full-time working mother so this all might affect the sway but I’m not sure in what way. Would love to hear your opinions :)

Looking forward to getting to know all of you and posting more on here!

I would start your sway (taking supplements, exercising, eating more nutrient dense foods) right away. My inclination is for you to start trying before returning to work.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

I would start your sway (taking supplements, exercising, eating more nutrient dense foods) right away. My inclination is for you to start trying before returning to work.

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Thank you for replying! At the moment, I’m trying to lose weight on a restricted calorie diet as my BMI is quite high (32). I was planning on starting the HE diet, weight training and supps in October. Do you think that is enough time on HE if we begin attempting in Dec? Should I not be trying to lose weight first?

Atomic I’ve just read your “guide to weight gain for blue” essay and taken the smart BMI test (results attached). My BMI is so high because of my height (I’m only 5”3’) but ideally, I’d like to lose 30 lbs before starting my sway. If you think it’s too risky, I can instead work on just not gaining anymore OR stop trying to lose weight earlier than October. I just get a lot of back pain already because of my weight and I know pregnancy will make it worse. I started off my first pregnancy with my DD about 18 pounds lighter than I am now. Attachment 42628

Oh yes in that case by all means go ahead and lose some weight now, but I would do it on a higher protein lower carb diet with a fair amount of healthy fat. Not necessarily full keto but I would err on the side of protein, healthy fat (including full fat dairy in reasonable amounts) with nuts, fruits, and veg, and be VERY sparing on things like grain, potatoes, and starchy fruit like banana. No dried fruit or fruit juice.

I would also have you start supplements and exercise now if at all possible.

Thank you for the info! I’m only restricting calories at the moment but I will make some adjustments to my diet to control my macros too, while I’m losing weight. I’ll start on the supplements and exercise ASAP too and then hopefully be ready to begin the HE diet in October. Looking forward to it!

Hi again Atomic, I’m back with another question.

I’ve seen your posts in the past mentioning something along the lines of declining health = girl-friendly and improving health = boy-friendly.

I’m just wondering if what I’m doing right now - trying to lose weight on high protein/low carb 1200-1500cal diet, then switching over to a HE diet a couple months before DH and I start TTC, is considered declining my health or improving it, given that I am overweight at the moment? I have also started exercising (weight training 3x a week and walking 30min everyday) and plan to continue when I begin the HE diet.

And another thing, should I start taking anything else other than a multivitamin right now?

Thanks in advance!

Well, that's the critical question and it is truly one we do not know the answer to. We seem to observe a sort of bell curve where more girls are conceived at higher weights and lower weights and then boys in the middle, and so I suspect you're absolutely right in that losing some weight now will help your blue sway in the long term. But in terms of how long to be on HE Diet and how many cals you should be eating now, etc - the specific stuff, I just don't know and can't completely say for sure. I have an essay you might enjoy reading here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...irls-boys.html

I do think you are doing the right thing by losing weight. I feel 1200-1500 cals is probably too low and would prefer to see you more at 1500-1800 if you're still losing at that intake.

I would have you take probiotics and fish oil or DHA supps (no more than 500 mg daily and if you can only find a higher dose take every other day.)

Be sure you are AVOIDING herbal supplements and Omega 6 (or Evening Primrose and flaxseed supplements and don't eat flax or soy more than 3x a week)

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Well, that's the critical question and it is truly one we do not know the answer to. We seem to observe a sort of bell curve where more girls are conceived at higher weights and lower weights and then boys in the middle, and so I suspect you're absolutely right in that losing some weight now will help your blue sway in the long term. But in terms of how long to be on HE Diet and how many cals you should be eating now, etc - the specific stuff, I just don't know and can't completely say for sure. I have an essay you might enjoy reading here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...irls-boys.html

I do think you are doing the right thing by losing weight. I feel 1200-1500 cals is probably too low and would prefer to see you more at 1500-1800 if you're still losing at that intake.

I would have you take probiotics and fish oil or DHA supps (no more than 500 mg daily and if you can only find a higher dose take every other day.)

Be sure you are AVOIDING herbal supplements and Omega 6 (or Evening Primrose and flaxseed supplements and don't eat flax or soy more than 3x a week)

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Thank you. I read the essay and found it very insightful! It really resonates with me.

A few weeks prior to conceiving my DD back in 2018, I was on a poor vegan diet for almost 2 months. I ate lots of empty carbs, soy, dairy replacers, barely any fruit/veg and got very little/no nutrition. I stopped the diet a couple weeks before getting pg and in that couple of weeks, I was going through a vicious cycle of crash dieting on meal replacement shakes and then binging on empty carbs. I’m certain my blood-sugar levels were unstable. I was also nowhere near hydrated enough to be producing a lot of EWCM. So I think you very well described my type of “overweight women having girls” in that essay.

IÂ’m trying to be as healthy as possible in losing weight right now and trying to keep my protein intake high and carb intake low. IÂ’m also eating a lot more fruit/veg than I usually do. Because I have so much to lose and not much time, do you think I should start on 1200-1500 and then as I get closer to starting the HE diet, move up to 1500-1800?

I will also begin taking the recommended supps.

Thank you again!

No, I think you should stay with 1500-1800. The problem with losing weight on too low a cal intake is that it causes your metabolism to shift and then when you start eating more normally you will put that weight back on again and even more because now your metabolism has changed so you're burning fewer calories.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

No, I think you should stay with 1500-1800. The problem with losing weight on too low a cal intake is that it causes your metabolism to shift and then when you start eating more normally you will put that weight back on again and even more because now your metabolism has changed so you're burning fewer calories.

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Okay great (definitely not complaining about more cals!). I’ll aim for a higher cal range and see if I’ll still be losing enough weight to start my sway right in Oct and begin attempting in Dec! :)

Thank you again.