Ttc girl after 3 boys

Hi looking for as much advice as possible please. Have been swaying for 3 years now, last week I had a laparoscopy which showed severe endometriosis and that my tube was blocked and twisted. I have had excision surgery and a tubal flush so I'm praying I'm all good to go.
I had a sway that I was really sure on for all this time but since being laid up in bed for the last week I have been going over and over it and looking up so much info that now ive completely confused myself with all the conflicting info.
Anyway here goes this is what my plan was..
Dw and Dh both take x2 lr, x1 cranberry, Dw also take folic acid.
Lower ph using these supplements and le diet but I only do from af to 2dpo and avoid all no nos. I'm not looking at losing too much weight as I'm 5ft 1 and weigh 8 stone 7, a year ago I did sway diet so extreme I dropped to 7st 13 and then stopped ovulating altogether so im not planning to drop more than a few lbs really. Dw ph between 4-4.5 (have got it down from 6.5-7) and Dh ph is now a 7 (was a 9!!)
I use opks and bbt and I was planning on dtd just once 2 days before O. I am a real panicker of dtd on ovulation after I'm sure all 3 of my boys would of been day before and day of O.
My plan had been to use sylk but it doesnt bring ph that low after, does that matter?? Does it matter if our Phs are in the right range before we dtd??
Other things we do are drink peppermint tea, tons of caffeine free coke,hot shower before dtd and planning on a 12 day abstain this month, him on top no O for me.
I do all the old wives tales ,rose quartz necklace, dtd with window open, paint nails pink in fertile week, have lavender burning, salt lamp in our bedroom and lounge, wooden spoon with pink ribbon under the mattress and pink booties.
What would you add or change about my sway?? Thanks so much for reading x

Hi and welcome!!

You must immediately drop licorice root, for BOTH of you. For you it is unsafe (and I know they tell people to take this on Facebook, but they are ignoring countless safety warnings about the baby's health and mental development, please spread the word it is unsafe if you have any friends taking it) and for your husband it has caused very poor results with only 32% of the people taking it getting girls for us. (that is nearly 70% boys with LR)

No one was ever supposed to mix peppermint tea with licorice root anyway. It is one or the other, not both. I am ok with you guys continuing peppermint as long as you're under 35. If you're over 35 it's your call if you want to continue but it can lower chances of conceiving and hasn't worked.

You should not have been taking cranberry when undergoing surgery, please wean off that immediately until you are fully recovered. I NEVER give cranberry or aspirin to women with endometriosis as it can massively aggravate it. Cranberry is a blood thinner and that means your endo lesions will bleed much more profusely than normal. If you must take something for pH I would try 500 mg Vitamin C.

pH really doesn't sway. (so no, it doesn't matter what your pH is when you BD.) We have had so many pH opposites, plus the biology just doesn't add up at all, and I have all that here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...ph-pickle.html

You don't need to lose weight to do the LE Diet. The weight loss part of LE is of minor importance. Aim at holding steady where you're at.

Timing doesn't work either but it's fine to start off with using it. Most people want to. But the important thing is that you stick with one attempt above all else. DO NOT do timing and then add attempts to boost chances of conception because it's number of attempts that sways and not timing. (full case against timing is here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...le-timing.html)

Jellies are at your discretion. We have not found they do anything (same number of people get girls with and without them) and they cut odds of conception, but many people still like to try them.

Is there any way you could get Clomid or Femara?

Hi thanks so much for your reply. Agh seems like I need to change a lot. What do I need to add to have the best chances of conceiving a girl?
I forgot to say that I never have breakfast and dont eat until after 1pm.
Are there any supplements we should be taking? I stopped the cranberry for 3 weeks before my op but when i started a new cycle 4 days after the op i started it again then but only x1 rather than the 2 I used to take.
I cant do any exercise for 6 weeks, but dont want to wait due to that as I have been told the next 3 months are my highest chance for conception so dont want to miss any cycles. Really appreciate any advice on what you think my sway should be. Many thanks xx

Where you put if you must try something for ph try?? Then its blank.What would you recommend? The hospital wont give us clomid they said the operation to remove endo and flush tubes was what they were willing to do as we have 3 children together already. We will not get seen again in fertility clinic unless it is to be referred for private ivf. I dont want to go down that route x

We get good results with a much more focused approach doing only the things that work, and dropping the stuff that hasn't worked and cuts odds of conception by a lot.

The things that work are:

LE Diet 12 weeks or more plus fiber, coffee, alcohol, and dropping things like multivitamins, fortified foods and probiotics

Cardio exercise (and it is fine that you cannot do that, don't worry about it for now)

One attempt in the fertile window, though given that you have a limited window of opportunity I would have you start off doing the every 4 day method where you have unprotected sex every 72 hours starting after your period ends and going through till you are sure you've ovualted, even if that means going all the way through till your next period begins. Obviously if you want timing you won't be able to do this.

We have not gotten good results with most supplements. The few that have seemed to work are not suitable for you because of your low weight and history of stopping ovulation. I strongly recommend against you taking any supplements and given that you only have 3 months to try (for best results) I would have your husband wean off his cranberry too. I would not have you guys use any more peppermint tea either.

Ok great thankyou, what fiber is best? And can I do caffeine free coffee as I'm doing no caffeine through my sway. Can hubby drink tea or is it best not to?
This month I will dtd few days before positive opk but the next month I may try the e4d method.does this still sway girl or just higher your chance of conception?

Any fiber that agrees with you, you can get easily, and isn't terribly expensive.

You can use decaf coffee if you want to.

Best for hubby to give up tea though less important than it is for you.

I can't recommend DTD days before positive OPK! You would have very low chances of conception. The pos OPK comes about 36 hours average before ovulation, so having sex a few days before that means you will completely miss ovulation.

E4d we believe still does sway pink. We have gotten good results with pink, though with a smaller sample size than one attempt.

Sorry that was my mistake I meant to write a few days before O, we will be dtd on our first positive opk as I'm thinking that still gives us a cut off??
Thanks for all the advice, have ordered fiber so will start taking that as soon as it arrives. Do you have a link anywhere to read up on Le diet more? Meal ideas?? X

Sorry another question, are there certain foods hubby should be avoiding?? I have been making him avoid red meat, bananas, tomatoes and potatoes. Are tomatoes ok cooked or no to all types??

Oh ok good! There are some people who have a mistaken belief that it's possible to get pregnant with massively long cutoffs and that's just not the case.

Yes DTD at positive OPK is still a cutoff.

LE Diet is here https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...l-version.html and I have two FAQ that are helpful here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...tml#post335985

and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...s-edition.html and this second FAQ has a full explanation of why you do not need to avoid bananas, tomatoes, and potatoes on LE Diet. Please eat them if you would like!

For hubby's diet we have seen good results with hubbies going vegetarian or even vegan, but if he cuts back on meat that will only help anyway.

Oh gosh I wish I had found this page a long time ago!! With the diet do you recommend to keep going right through until you get positive test or can you break inbetween, so after ovulation eat again until next cycle?

Yes you need to stay on diet all month long. We have poor results with only 2 weeks on diet and best results with 12 weeks or more on diet, so it doesn't make any sense to go off and on diet every month.

You should find the LE Diet to be well-balanced and satisfying though - it's not meant to be a terrible starvation diet. If you're feeling deprived let me know what you're eating and I'll tell you what to tweak.

Help!! I've done something that I thought was really good now I'm actually thinking have I messed up.so I stopped eating meat as I'm such a big meat eater and found i was still going over my limits even with just chicken ,so i have gone vegetarian but i have been eating quorn with my dinners...is this too much protein or am i overthinking this??? Also been having Greek youghurt on the days i haven't had quorn and been having the 0% one but someone recently told me i should be having full fat??

You can have up to 40-60 g protein daily (not counting the protein and fat in fruit and veg, which we don't count at all) so it is fine to have some quorn and yogurt. You have to get protein from somewhere!

We allow 30-60 g fat on the LE Diet. Some people, who are following a variation of diet called the "alternate" or "PCOS-type" LE Diet, have 50-60 g protein and fat, and on this alternate diet they have ONLY full fat dairy, no skim.

So if you are on the alternate diet you need to use only full fat dairy, no skim. On the other form of LE Diet, you can have skim or full fat whichever you prefer, and you can also mix and match them.

Hi , after a weight gain I am trying to lose weight, I have started going to a class 3 times a week , weight training and hiit, I use low weights is this ok to carry on or will I need to stop? Also I used to avoid red meat, potatoes, bananas and tomatoes but I have been eating them again so I need to cut any of these back out? My calories are inbetween 1200 to 1500 a day. I have also increased my steps to min 10k a day.x

Can you tell me more about the circumstances you were gaining in?? You were gaining on 1200-1500 cals a day?

Potatoes, bananas, and tomatoes do not sway boy and I have a full explanation of that here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...s-edition.html As for red meat, yes, most people do give that up.

For the most part I have people stop weight training for pink sways. But if you've lost some weight on a lower protein diet then it's ~probably~ ok, though I do not have the same high level of confidence that I do in cardio alone. I would also aim at a minimum 4 days a week, 1 hour of cardio.

No I wasn't eating between those calories then this has all built up from a combination of when I was doing le turbo so two weeks on two weeks off (this was before you gave me your advice). I was barely eating for 2 weeks, ridiculously low calories a day, and fasting. The two weeks were up and I'd binge, instead of losing weight and staying there I was up down up down and every up weight was going higher and higher. Then came lockdown and I wasnt doing cardio classes or much of anything really and eating badly I put on over 1a stone and over those months I stopped ttc after over 2 and a half years it had all just taken its toll. I wanted to get my weight down and my fitness back on track. I signed up to a class not really knowing too much about it I thought it was mainly hiit. But it's not its hiit and weight training, but low weights nothing major 6kg max. I'm really enjoying it, I'm back on track with my eating ,calories are in a normal range, I am definitely not eating loads of protein just a bery normal balanced diet. I've lost 8lb and I just feel more focused again. Hubby and i want to now go for our last 6 months of ttc its really now or never. I've done the months and months of 3 day cut off, one bd on first positive opk and twice on first positive and day after , hubby wants to do every day, I'm terrified this is mass boy territory. Weve both been taking no supplements and im worried if hubby has sperm morphology still, clinic wont re test anything you could take to help with that that wont sway blue??

oh no yes that's not good - the starving weeks basically "scare" your body into slowing metabolism wayyyy down and then when it's followed by 2 weeks of binging, it holds on to everything!

If you're enjoying the class I say continue. It's low weights, and as long as you've lost a bit of weight on that lower protein diet you can't be building muscle.

Please don't do every day. Not because it's going to wreck your sway, but because it is a BAD way to get pregnant. It is among the top things people who don't conceive are doing wrong! Because daily sex many days in a row can deplete sperm count, and by the time the egg shows up the male is shooting nothing but dust. I want you to have sex every 72 hours (doesn't have to be those days exactly, just that is how you count the days) starting after your period ends and continue all through the month, even after you think you have ovulated (this will protect against early or late ovulation, and the regular releases will ensure your husband is making enough sperm.) Then in addition to that, while still continuing with the every 72 hours, have one more attempt whenever you get your first positive OPK. If that falls on a day you are already due to have sex, have either two attempts that day or an attempt the next day. We'll try that for a couple months and then I'll have you go to SMEP which is the best way to conceive (but still isn't daily sex!)

Ok thanks and any supplements at all?? Or just take folate and fiber?? Doing it every 72hours will it greatly reduce my chance of having a girl? If I cut out red meat am I ok to eat everything else? Some people say no vegetables as too healthy but I have been eating them!

The supplements have not worked and have caused massive amounts of side effects for us.

We actually have better results with e4d in the 72 hour pattern right now, it's just that it's a smaller sample size and I have more faith in one attempt to start with. But as far as we know e4d is just as good as one attempt or maybe even better.

Vegetables are fine and 100% allowed. Low carb veg are free and unlimited, have as much as you want, no need to count. Fruit and high carb veg, count only calories, not protein or fat. We originally started out worryign that nutrients in veg might sway, but over time we have shown definitively it's only highly concentrated nutrients like in fortified foods and vitamin pills that sway and we are getting great results with people eating fruit and veg.

How much is it for a sway plan with you? Do you think I would benefit from following a plan or do you think I'm on the right track?

The plans start at $79. I always appreciate the plans as it enables me to do this as my full time job and answer all your questions rather than having to work outside the home. Having a plan can be helpful in that it's all in one spot and you can print it off and have it forever. And there's a big benefit in that I get back to you faster. This week I was able to get back to everyone fast, but most times it can take me several days to get back to the free forums, and with the coaching that comes with the plan you get preferential treatment.

https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/payments.php

I know you said lr no for hubby. What do you think about ole?? And is there anything to take for sperm morphology that still sways pink? X

OLE is fine as long as he has no health problems and isn't on any medication it can interact with. It is said to possibly help improve sperm quality. OLE is the only supp we know of that both appears to sway pink (or at least doesn't sway blue) and helps sperm quality.

Ok great thanks, and can he drink peppermint tea along side this too? What can I do to lower testosterone?? You said not licorice root didnt you? I am worried as I'm still doing my strength training, its only 20 mins 3x a week then the rest is cardio but I'm still worried and want to lower testosterone x

Peppermint tea is not something I recommend any more as it hasn't worked, may cut odds of conception, and is just another "control freak" detail to keep swaying in the front of people's heads all the time, but it's much safer than the LR if you wanted to add that in. You would have him drink 3 cups a day, let it steep for at least 5 minutes, starting right away and continuing on till BFP and then he can drop them.

As long as you've lost at least a little weight on a lower protein diet you aren't going to be building muscle with that level of exercise. It's up to you whether or not to continue; I generally recommend dropping strength training totally but I understand that many don't want to or can't do that for their health and sanity, and it doesn't appear to be affecting the sways negatively to continue small amounts of strength training.

Sorry I hadnt worded that last message great, I meant what could I do for me to lower testosterone? Could I drink peppermint tea, I was thinking after doing the training? Is it definitely not worth me alone to take lr? X

I don't recommend peppermint tea any more because it didn't work, and so many people using it saw their cycles go nuts with ovulation delayed or even stopping totally. Plus even those who didn't see their cycles messed up had very much lowered chances of conception.

DO NOT TAKE LICORICE ROOT. It is not safe. A man just died from eating licorice candy let alone taking highly concentrated supplements. And it is also 100% proven unsafe during pregnancy (it literally lowers your baby's IQ, again, even just eating the candy, let alone the supplements which are many times stronger) and we don't know how long the effects of it last. It could very well be that you stop taking it at BFP and it still has an effect. We don't know and it is not and never will be recommended here.

If you have to take one, peppermint is probably safer but we don't know for sure because many of the herbs are not studied adequately. Same dose as DH, be sure you drop it at ovulation.

Ok great thanks.
Also is dairy fine to have? And if so full fat milk or semi skimmed or does it not really matter?

Also can I just drink coffee the week of ovulation and can I have it with a splash of double cream instead of milk?

Dairy within limits. If you have PCOS or insulin resistance, poor egg quality or more than 30-50 lbs to spare use full fat dairy only, no skim or part-skim. Otherwise you can have either one you prefer (or all of them). Dairy is not a free food, stick in the limits.

You should do coffee the entire time. Going off and on coffee may not help your sway and worse it causes very bad headaches. Milk or cream is fine, as long as it's just a bit and you don't end up having too much.

Ok thanks. I had been thinking of adding one glass on milk a day but maybe I wont then. I have never had dairy when I got pregnant with my boys. What is the limit for dairy?
Can I also ask, I use one step opk but I was given a clearblue fertility monitor last month. This morning I tested on both and the one step opk was negative and the clearblue fertility monitor says High (underneath the word High it says oestrogen detected). Which one is more reliable? I was thinking of going more on the one step opks and holding off to bd, I'm only cd9 and my last two cycles I've ovulated cd14

One glass of milk a day would be within the limits though. It is fine within the limits.

There's no limit on dairy per se, the limits are the 1500-1800 cals a day, 50-60 g protein and fat.

With the Clearblue fertility monitor, high is NOT the same as a peak. You would get at least two days of "high" reading, then a peak reading. The peak reading is what is the same as positive on your One-Steps. So it makes sense these things would not match up together. You would want to wait for "peak" on the Clear Blue before having attempt, UNLESS you were trying to use the Clear Blue for Shettles timing.

If you do want Shettles timing, in that case you can have attempt on the second "high" (but I suspect very much that you will not get a peak reading till CD 13 and you should time your attempt for CD 11 or 12 instead)

Ok thanks, what are the odds if I bd tonight on a high then bd again tomorrow morning first thing on a peak (if I got a peak) would that then sway more boy as its 2 bd? Hubby wanted to up bd to increase chance of pregnancy this cycle but i wasn't quite ready to do e3d x

I would have far rather seen you do every 4 days than 2 attempts in the fertile window.

BD on a high will be somewhat low chance of conception so you'd probably want to add an attempt, but I wish we'd tried e4d first.

There is no every 3 days. There is only every 4 days in the 72 hour and 96 hour pattern (not those hours specifically but that is how you count the days) When people said "every 3 days, every 4 days, every 5 days" it was too confusing and what one person called every 3 days another called every other day and I could never be sure what people were doing. Just call it every 4 days.

Ok I will just do one attempt again this cycle. My opks are getting darker so will wait until late tonight or early tomorrow morning. I am not using gels this cycle and hubby has dropped supplements so hoping this gives us more chance anyway. Should i jump and dump or is that just lessening my chances even more?

If you were immediately J and D, go to 5 minutes. If you were doing the 5 min. J and D, go to 10-15.

Ok thanks so I waited for positive opk on my one step tests which was yesterday morning, yesterday and today i still have high readings on my clear blue advanced monitor saying lh not detected. So not sure if and when I ovulate. I decided to just dtd once at 8am yesterday morning also laid for 15 -20 mins then got up.
I got a peak reading at 1pm yesterday, I'm worried what if I ovulated early will that of messed my sway up dtd so close or fine because only once? Hubby had abstained for 7 days and no gels used.
When can we start bd using protection? Also when can I O? I know it's not thought not to sway but I know some people still try to avoid this and I'm one of them but dont know when is ok to again!! X

Timing doesn't sway. It does not work (proven by science) and most of us on this site have numerous timing opposites to prove it (myself included)

If you had an attempt yesterday morning, got the peak that day, you're still 2 days out from O at the time of your attempt.

you can BD with protection at any time. Technically you are supposed to avoid the Big O all the time when you're swaying. Personally I think this is overkill and it's fine to have Big O in the 2ww.

Ugh still didnt work last month, this will be my last month of only one bd. And then I'll move on to e4d plus one attempt at positive opk. It's too late to start that this cycle now isnt it? I'm cd 7 and finished my period cd4. I'm struggling massively with le to be honest I think I'm doing it all wrong.. can you give me a typical day of the diet please. I stick to under 1500cals daily, I've dropped red meats, lower protein, more carbs, but still seem to be eating chocolate or biscuits..agh i just cant seem to drop them this month, normally I'm so good maybe it's because I've upped my walking , I'm walking 8-12 miles each time I walk. I'm drinking glass of wine an evening and I'm drinking caffeine free coke daily and caffeine free coffee with cream once daily. What do you think? What can I change? I've stopped hubby on the diet, it's been so many years hes had enough so I just cut his red meat the week before dtd and he stops drinking tea 48hours before. Should he be doing more?
Also the abstaining is this too long, 10 days it will be when we try this month???