Still no luck...

We started trying for a baby in September 2018 however my period following the birth of my son in September 2017 didn’t return until September 2019, so we were just hoping we would fall pregnant. I had a blood test and a scan during this time to check everything was working ok which was all normal, I’ve just had another blood test which was also normal.

Since my period restarted we have continued trying for a baby and 10 months later we have still had no luck. I am currently 37.5 yrs so am aware that my chances of falling pregnant are reducing as I get older. I have been doing ovulation tests for the past year and have never had a strong lh surge result on the cheap tests however have had static smileys on clearblue advanced tests. My cycles are also very short, averaging between 21-25 days.

We are swaying girl but are now reducing our sway to try to increase our pregnancy chances.

I have dropped most supplements but have started on a prenatal throughout (I know this Sway’s boy but I’m getting desperate!) and vitamin c (o - af to help increase progesterone). My husband (sporadically) takes olive leaf. We have reduced our cut off to 2 days and have been dtd twice during my fertile window.

Diet wise we have removed potatoes, bananas tomatoes and red meat and also reduced white meat and fish to 2-3 times per week. We drink Diet Coke af-o and peppermint tea throughout.

This is my normal day:
7am 2x coffee
9am workout
10-11am apple/yogurt/bagel/plain brioche - something totalling around 100-200 calories.
12noon white bread, veggie sticks, apple
6pm something like pasta with courgettes mushroom and Parmesan, 1 bit of garlic baguette, green beans, sweet corn.
pear, low fat yogurt.
1 glass wine/gin.

We use lavender soap, lavender pillow mist and lavender essential oils. I keep a salt lamp next to my home office desk.

Any tips on what I can do to keep a girl away but increase my chances of falling pregnant please? Toying with using vitex as I’m SO eager to fall pregnant after such a long time trying.

If anyone has any suggestions I’d be very grateful!

I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a hard time falling, I hope you have some good news soon!

Your sway looks fab! I think one thing I’ve read is Atomic is recommending we drop peppermint tea because it decreases chances of falling too much?

Is there any way you can get clomid or femara considering you’ve been trying for all that time? I got it with my last sway and fell on the 6th cycle of clomid.

Thank you so much for replying Flowergirl!

Ah thank you, I’ll maybe reduce the Peppermint - we do like a cup before bed but I’ll maybe just have it every now and then.

I’m in the UK so have started the referral process through my GP but I believe it takes quite a while, especially as many of our non-essential NHS services are only just starting to reopen after ‘lockdown’.

It took 2-3 months to fall pregnant with both of my boys so I’m not sure if it’s my age, my sway or another factor that is causing problems this time but it is so disheartening as us older mums are against the clock a bit!

Wishing you lots of luck on your journey. :wave:

Thank you! I think I’ll need it, I just turned 39 and had a loss last month (11 weeks) so just trying to heal from that still but starting the LE diet now to plant the seed for a hopeful #4.

I had a very similar experience where I conceived both my boys after 2-3 months of not even trying too hard lol then didn’t get my cycle back for 2 years after having DS #2 then took another 10 months to fall with my DD doing a GD sway. If it’s any encouragement the lower fertility does sway pink and it helped me get my daughter so I think it’s a good sign! Although I do understand and remember the sadness of not conceiving. My sister had 2 babies in the time I was trying for my 3rd so it was hard — but definitely worth it in end!!

Just trying to think of something else you can do to give yourself a little boost. So you ever have cheat meals? Maybe your body needs a good piece of salmon or something with fats to help O? Have you dropped a lot of weight doing LE?

So sorry to hear about your loss. I had a MMC between my sons so know how hard it is. Wishing you lots of baby dust as you start preparing your mind and body for your next attempt.

I have salmon every so often but I mainly try to keep vegetarian with just a couple of bits of chicken or white fish. Thinking maybe I need to add a bit more cholesterol as my diet is carb heavy. I have put on weight this year as I lost 20kg last year during the stress of building work on the house - I was definitely underweight but back to normal now and not really trying to lose any.

I’m really not sure whether to start Vitex as my periods are becoming almost reliably 21 day cycles. I ovulate around day 13 so know that I need to lengthen the luteal phase. I might give it a go for a few months and see what it does ��

So difficult to know what is the best thing to do! Thanks again for replying.

Thank you so much for your patience!

Peppermint tea needs to be dropped IMMEDIATELY. We had abysmal rates of conception with that for women over 35 and it can really mess up your cycle. If you take one piece of advice I give you, please make it this one.

Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES add in vitex. That will do the opposite of what we need to do here, further lowering your hormones and they are already low. Low hormones (courtesy of the pep tea and not eating enough) are what is most likely preventing conception (coupled with timing)

Do you have a total for your food intake for the entire day?? It looks to me like you are not eating enough fat, protein, or calories, and that can make your cycle both super short, luteal phase in particular, and also make it harder to get pregnant.

Since you're getting static smileys on the Clearblues I believe you are ovulating. How long after the static smiley is your period coming?

You should not be taking Vitamin C off and on. It does nothing to help extend your luteal phase when taken that way (the luteal phase is largely determined by what happens hormonally in the follicular phase) and you're basically freaking your body out by taking nutrients off and on. If you think you need to take it, please take it all month long.

How long did you go on with a 3 day or more cutoff?? Timing does not work and HUGELY cuts odds of conception. I would have had you drop timing before adding attempts but I agree in the here and now, you've been at this so long it is time to add attempts. When are you adding the second attempt? Would you be willing to give up timing?

Prenatals do nothing to help you conceive. At this point though after 10 months I'd have had you add them in anyway, especially considering your diet. I would strongly suggest taking them 3x a week instead of daily though. This will not help you conceive, though.

ARe you doing anything like tighty whiteys, hot bath for DH, or jump and dump and shallow release?

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Originally Posted by Spacey

Thank you so much for replying Flowergirl!

Ah thank you, I’ll maybe reduce the Peppermint - we do like a cup before bed but I’ll maybe just have it every now and then.

I’m in the UK so have started the referral process through my GP but I believe it takes quite a while, especially as many of our non-essential NHS services are only just starting to reopen after ‘lockdown’.

It took 2-3 months to fall pregnant with both of my boys so I’m not sure if it’s my age, my sway or another factor that is causing problems this time but it is so disheartening as us older mums are against the clock a bit!

Wishing you lots of luck on your journey. :wave:

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The by far most likely explanation is your sway was too strict. Please don't lose heart, we will correct this and you'll almost certainly be looking at a BFP very soon. 37 is really not that old at all we have people reliably getting pregnant into their early 40's provided they had proven fertility. We got this!

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Originally Posted by Spacey

So sorry to hear about your loss. I had a MMC between my sons so know how hard it is. Wishing you lots of baby dust as you start preparing your mind and body for your next attempt.

I have salmon every so often but I mainly try to keep vegetarian with just a couple of bits of chicken or white fish. Thinking maybe I need to add a bit more cholesterol as my diet is carb heavy. I have put on weight this year as I lost 20kg last year during the stress of building work on the house - I was definitely underweight but back to normal now and not really trying to lose any.

I’m really not sure whether to start Vitex as my periods are becoming almost reliably 21 day cycles. I ovulate around day 13 so know that I need to lengthen the luteal phase. I might give it a go for a few months and see what it does ��

So difficult to know what is the best thing to do! Thanks again for replying.

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:agree: I suspect I will have you switch over to a less carby, higher protein and fat diet but for right now there is no way given what you're eating that you're even getting enough protein and fat for the standard LE Diet!! We have got to fix that right away because I'm worried that if you do fall pregnant your body will not have the raw materials necessary to sustain it.

Just to reiterate what I said above - NO VITEX! That would be throwing gasoline on a fire. It does not fix short LP for people who have short LP due to lack of hormones (YOU!) It only works for people with moderate to severe PCOS and that is very unlikely to be what your problem is here. PLEASE PLEASE no vitex

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

:agree: I suspect I will have you switch over to a less carby, higher protein and fat diet but for right now there is no way given what you're eating that you're even getting enough protein and fat for the standard LE Diet!! We have got to fix that right away because I'm worried that if you do fall pregnant your body will not have the raw materials necessary to sustain it.

Just to reiterate what I said above - NO VITEX! That would be throwing gasoline on a fire. It does not fix short LP for people who have short LP due to lack of hormones (YOU!) It only works for people with moderate to severe PCOS and that is very unlikely to be what your problem is here. PLEASE PLEASE no vitex

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Thank you so much for taking the time to reply atomic, I truly appreciate it. Your words of positivity and encouragement mean a lot as I’ve only just started reaching out, it has been a long and frustrating journey so far!

I think I generally have around 2000 calories a day but then use around 200 during workouts. I had started lower but struggled last year with losing too much weight through stress and then alcohol is high in calories! I have eaten (and drank!) way more during our lockdown than I would normally ever do - 2 little boys, home learning, working from home and a pandemic is a bit stressful!

Please don’t think I have a rather plain pasta meal every night, it was just an example as I have that at least one dinner a week as it is quick and easy! I generally make everything from scratch so I know what I’m eating...
My lunch may be boring (although I love freshly made bread with butter!) but for dinner our weekly menu is often a variation of
Roast chicken with vegetables
Homemade pulled chicken burger with salad
Vegetable stir fry
Vegetable and chickpea curry with rice and naan
Omelette and salad
Homemade vegetable pizza and salad
Pasta with courgette and mushroom with vegetables
Fish with seeded cous cous and salad
Vegetable fajitas

Veg normally consists of broccoli, carrots, green beans, baby corn, peas.
Salad is normally lettuce, rocket, cucumber, pepper, celery, sweet corn, carrot, cabbage, sugar snap peas.

I then eat two pieces of fruit and at least one yogurt a day. I do think you’re right in that I’m probably not getting quite as much protein as I should so have been having a low fat Greek yogurt and plain Brioche mid morning after my workout which totals around 170 calories so that may help.

I have given up peppermint tea and will definitely not buy vitex! Are there any herbal teas that are safe when ttc? I miss my nightly herbal...

However I had a faint line on a wondfo pregnancy test this morning, I’m day 25 of my cycle so fingers crossed the line keeps getting darker and my body has enough nutrients to sustain it and it sticks. I had a small drop of fresh blood on day 22 and have had a discharge mixed with old blood up until today but that now seems to have stopped, I’m guessing/hoping it was implantation bleeding.

Most months this year we had done 1 (occasionally 2 attempts) during the fertile period, mainly 2 days before ovulation, sometimes the day of ovulation. This month we had two attempts, one 4 days before and one 2 days before. I normally jump and dump as we are more often than not, off to bed when we dtd.

Thank you again for your advice, it is very much appreciated.

I meant to ask a rough estimate of your fat and protein intake (especially fat) in that sentence I failed to complete there, sorry.

No more skim dairy. For reasons we can only guess at, skim dairy has been shown to be unfriendly for fertility and I want you on full fat dairy from here on in (good for fertility)

All those foods are good but we need to be sure you are getting enough fat and protein in there.

Re herbal tea, buy a variety and have any given kind no more than 2-3 days a week. I'd drop anything with licorice entirely (and do not use during pregnancy either)

I would not do j and d (wait at least 15 minutes before getting up) in case that's cutting conception too much.

The 4 days before O attempt doesn't count so that would still be one attempt. Let me know if you need me to (and hopefully I won't) and I'll lay out a better plan for boosting odds of conception for you.
Oh gosh exciting news - FX that this is a sticky pregnancy and all my advice is not needed!

Just wanted to post an update as when I was searching through all of the girl away threads, I loved to hear the outcome. So at the end of June I got my BFP, I’m now 28 weeks and had it confirmed (again) that it’s a girl - after all of the girl nub guesses and 2 scans which have both said girl, I’m only just starting to believe it! Keeping my fingers crossed for a safe arrival in the new year. Wishing everyone who trawls the threads looking for tips and inspiration on their journey every luck in the world. I might be back...😊