Back again: blue sway planning

Hi Atomic!

I hope you're well :) I'm back again. Not ready to start swaying *just* yet but have some questions for you if that's ok!

Firstly my beautiful baby girl is 6 months old now. So happy to have her, so I am glad the swaying went awry in the end (I think with those constant bouts of illness, blue was more and more unlikely!). Still utterly baffled over her conception but there you go!

I'm hoping to start swaying for blue in around a year, so my girls will then be 4.5 and 1.5 years old.

Current blockers / challenges are:

DH:
- His lifestyle: he vapes a lot, drinks occasionally, works hard (office job) and also cycles a couple of times a week. I'm trying to get him to kick vaping but it's hard work as he's very addicted and also stressed out
- His attitude to more kids: it ain't good! He's not thrilled at the prospect of more, which will make trying regularly quite hard. But he is open to the idea if I work my butt off to make it work
- Our sex life: currently not that regular - having a baby to look after as well as a toddler means we both just want to crash in the evenings


I am hoping to buy a plan off you nearer the time anyway but thought I should plan ahead given the challenges in my situation.

Lots of love and thanks, as ever, Ruby Blue xx

Aww, I'm so happy to hear your little lady is doing so well! That is so common with sway opposites - they're just such delightful little people!

If at all possible yes I'd def. try to convince hubby to give up, or at least cut back on the vaping. That's the number one priority. Number two priority is for him to stop cycling all together, but if you have to pick one thing make it the vaping. The other stuff is far behind in importance, if he continues drinking some that's no big deal.

When men aren't receptive it is VERY important to not push too hard so definitely just focus on getting him to cut back on the vaping, and if the other things happen too that's great but the vaping is the biggie.

Most of the boy moms are also plagued with anxiety so that's not the issue. Feeling like you have no control over your life is a little more concerning, but the good news is, having a blue sway where you're working on exercise, eating patterns, and so on is the PERFECT opportunity to gain control! It is MUCH easier for a girl mom to get in control over a sway than it is for boy moms to let go of control when trying to sway, so let that concern go, it's not a big deal at all.

Great that you're still sticking with those positive boy-friendly changes. Keep it up! I would absolutely start all the supplements now. Of the main blue supplements, they're all safe to take as far in advance as is possible. LMK if you need a list of these with doses.

Don't worry about the "older parents" thing, you're not even close to that level yet. I got my 3rd boy at 37 and my 4th at 39 and I have gobs of swayers who are in their early 40's who had boys in their late 30's.

Re DH releasing, that's a "pick our battles" type of thing. I don't think there's any reason to start asking him to do this now, and potentially it will make him get very burned out very quickly. Let's just let him "do what he does" and roll with that.

Re your sleeping patterns, I see night owls in both boy and girl moms. I do think that on the whole, boy moms get more rest more consistently, while girl moms do tend to burn the candle at both ends (often from necessity). Obviously you'd not want to take anything to help you sleep while you're nursing (and PLEASE don't, the risks of it coming thru your milk aside, you'd not want to be groggy when breastfeeding) but once you've stopped nursing, you may want to look into melatonin to help you reset your sleep schedule. I don't like you guys taking it when TTC but you might be able to use it or something similar to help fall asleep earlier a couple times and then often the whole schedule will reset.

In the meantime, the best way to get through this is probably to just make peace with the idea that you're going to have a couple very long days, and don't go back to sleep. Be sure not to drink caffeine past noon, yadda yadda. You'll be so tired that you will fall asleep at a more reasonable hour and then sometimes this can reset your sleep schedule to something that works better for your overall life. It sucks but does seem to be the best way without using any medication to break the cycle. I would definitely try to make the changes now, if only for your own ability to function, but if you would prefer to wait till sooner before your sway that's totally fine and at your discretion, as long as that system is working for you and your hubby.

Salmon 2-3 times a week is fine. I would keep it that level. 3-4 servings is likely ok as long as you're doing salmon and not things that were higher in mercury, but I wouldn't go any higher than that both because you're breastfeeding but also because you don't want mercury even at low levels in your system. (I actually do remember that! It stuck in my head because you really were eating a lot of fish!)

If anything happens to the site in between now and when you're planning to sway (I don't own Gender Dreaming, and I keep that concern in the back of my mind) you can always feel free to email me at atomicsagebrush@gmail.com if you want a plan at that time. :) In the meantime keep me posted and let me know if you have any more questions!

Oh thank you – it’s so good to be back! And yes, I have really started a mini campaign to stop the vaping. It’s difficult for him because his job is so stressful and he has somehow equated this habit with “de-stressing“. I’m an ex smoker myself so I know how hard it is to quit, but then again, I knocked it on the head years ago!

My main question now is, if I was to start one supplement now, which would be the best one to start? I was thinking of buying folate 400ug pills and starting off with one a day? On the assumption folate is most important? My only hesitancy in buying all the supplements now it’s just how much they cost – but if you think it would make a difference to blue sway in a years time, then I am prepared to bite the bullet and start buying them now. But if there’s one that you think is a particular importance and I will start with that.
At the moment I’m taking daily: vitamin D 1000 IU, ferrous sulphate/fumerate 210mg ie one a day, Pregnacare Breastfeeding multivitamins and fish oil tablets (one of each per day).

In the same vein, is there a particular tablet which DH should start with already, a year in advance? As you know, my concern is his age (44)… As with me, his supplements are pretty expensive, so if I can leave it, I will, but then again I may as well go all in — so if there is one / a few which is good to start this early then please let me know :)

As for diet, I do have salmon around two or three times a week, and also quite a bit of smoked salmon. Smoked salmon and cream cheese bagels are like my favourite thing! I can’t remember where smoked salmon falls in terms of pink or blue? I was thinking that I would cut it out nearer the time, just because I’m not sure which way it sways or how much salmon I’m actually consuming!

And thank you so much, I do have your email address. I will definitely keep that in mind just in case xxx

Smoking is weird in that even though it revs people up, it makes them feel calmer somehow. So it's very tough to give up in terms of stress reduction!

I would actually suggest a multivitamin rather than folate alone. A multi should have that amount of folate plus a lot of other good stuff besides.

Honestly, looking at what you're taking I'd just continue with those things!

What is the dose on the fish oil?

If DH is willing, a men's vitamin (preferably One a Day or Centrum over 50, but many men balk at taking something for "over 50" when they're not over 50!)

Salmon isn't really pink OR blue friendly, it can be a part of either sway diet. Salmon is not a terrible fish in terms of contamination, so three times a week is fine. I would go by servings and not "times consumed" so if you're just having a bit of smoked salmon on a bagel (YUM) and it doesn't amount to a full serving, you can have that several times a week instead of just 3 times, if that makes any sense!

Good luck on your swaying blue. I can see that you have every detail taken cared of. I hope you will be successful. A year of planning is the way to go!

Thank you for your support :) are you swaying also?

Hiya! Glad the site is back :)

So we haven’t started the vitamins yet properly but are still holding good on the no vaping. My next question is really about BD frequency - not specifically over TTC time (because that’s a way off) but I understand that it makes make sperm healthier to BD regularly… how much in advance of a sway do you reckon? Trying to BD with two young kids is really tricky! We’re both pretty exhausted at the end of the day and I know I’d rather watch TV lol!

Also, was thinking of starting with all the tablets towards the end of the year. I won’t be breastfeeding then most likely so that should give us around 6 months…

Thanks as always :) xxx

Sperm takes about 72 days to form, so I would go off a 2-ish month timeline.

Hey Atomic, hope you're doing well? I don't know if you got my PM/ email....?

I took a few months off from thinking about this, mainly because DH and I haven't been able to be intimate at all. I had two operations which meant it was off the table! So we haven't done anything physical for a couple of months now. From next week, I will be ok to start again though.

We've also not been regularly taking supplements and there's been lots of coughs, colds etc around here from our two little girls!

I suppose I want to know if I'm still in for a shot around April / May time next year, or if this long abstinence period may affect things? Due to my operations, I've also fairly recently gone under general anaesthetic twice and local once. One of my operations didn't go as planned, so I will be taking steroid nose drops for the next couple of months. Apparently this is in small doses, but I thought still worth mentioning.

I think my weight has also gone down as I'm not good at eating regularly, especially in the mornings. e.g. when I go into work, I will get up and cycle in without breakfast, then eat some fruit mid-morning. Is it necessary to start eating the 3 full meals plus snacks already?

Do you think any of the above is enough to damage a sway? Should I maybe be planning for late next year (e.g. December) rather than mid-next year? Once I know when I'm heading for, I'll start ordering all the supplements for me and DH. Because they're so expensive I don't want to be buying them way in advance of a sway, unless you recommend that as a good idea....? And because it's been a while since I was here, I'm going to run through the supps with you if that's ok? Let me know if this looks good or if there's anything to add or delete:

DH:
Arginine 500mg
Over 50 centrum
Omega 3 500mg every other day
Probiotic (any specific one?)
Vitamin D 1000 IU
Carnitine 1000mg
Coq10 100mg
Folic acid 400mg (is this necessary?)

Me:
Centrum women normal
Folate 400mg x5 daily (or throw in a megadose, e.g. 1000mg?)
Omega 3 500mg every other day
Probiotic (Optibac for Women)
Vitamin D 1000 IU
Coq10 100mg

Thanks as always xx

Oh gosh I don't think I DID get a message from you?? Did you email me at atomicsagebrush@gmail.com??

I'm so sorry to hear you had to have surgery - wishing you a speedy recovery!!

Yes you will absolutely be up for attempt in April/May of next year. That's plenty of time to get back on track.

The steroid nose drops are not much (if at all) absorbed by the body and seem to not sway in either direction. But it will be out of your body by April anyway.

You can start supplements 6 weeks in advance of your sway. That having been said, the men's and women's multivitamins are affordable and I would go ahead and start those now. Save all the other stuff for when you're closer, but start those now. They'll help you get over your surgery, they're fine to take indefinitely, and if something should happen and you either get pregnant on accident or decide to try sooner, they'll be working for you.

The men's Centrum already has the appropriate amount of folic and Vit. D. for your husband, and the Women's has the appropriate amount of Vit D for you. You do not need your husband to take additional folic acid or D, and you do not need more D than what is already in the Centrums.

Please take the folic acid in small doses thru the entire day rather than one dose all at once. It works better that way.

I don't recommend brands- there are just too many and they're always changing formulas. It would be a full time job to keep up with them. Just buy whichever probiotic for your husband that is convenient for you to find and is a well-known name brand.

Do not start the snacks now, but I would try to avoid skipping breakfast if you can. Especially if you're exercising, the getting up, exercising on an empty stomach, and not eating till much later is worrying to me. If you have an accidental pregnancy or change your mind about when to try, you will want to be avoiding doing that.

Hey Atomic - merry Xmas :) I just sent you an email as I have a personal query. Hope it came through and that that’s ok. Thank you so much xx

Ruby, I replied to your email, did you see my reply?

Hello, yes - so sorry for the muddle. I just replied to your email with a short message. I think we’ll both start taking some supplements soon, just the basics (any recs on what might be best to start early alongside the multivitamins?).

I’ll aim for 3 meals a day for now. Then to give some leeway, I’m thinking 10 weeks before my first try to start snacks too - 3 a day right? Bit nervous about all this food!

But I suppose with blue sways, there’s an emphasis on exercise as well to help manage calorie input? I have a few quick questions too, hope that’s ok:

Supplement questions:

DH
- Centrum Men has 15ug of vitamin D in it, which I believe is 600 IU. I could supplement it for him with one of my 1000 IU tablets every day (or every other day) so he’s taking 1600 IU daily or is this too much / stick to the 600 in the Centrum?
- Is this an ok probiotic for him? Bio-Cultures Probiotics - 180 High Strength Capsules(on Amazon). Just checking before I buy.
- Shall I space his Carnitine 500mg twice a day? Or is he ok to take two at once?

Me
- Centrum Women has 10ug of vitamin D in it, which I believe is 400 IU. I am already prescribed 1000 IU tablets to take daily due to low bone density, so am I ok to take 1400 IU daily?
- I used to be anaemic and was in both pregnancies. No idea about now but I do eat red meat once a week and my periods are more regular than they once were! I’m currently taking Ferrous Fumerate or Sulphate (I have both) every other day. Should I drop this to 2x a week, as I can see you previously recommended to me once?
- I take Optibac probiotics for women - apparently specifically designed for vaginal health! Is this ok?
- Is there any benefit in taking spirulina capsules? Someone recommended them for health and fertility recently.

Contraceptive:

Also, in a previous post to me, you recommended not using spermicide in the months leading up to trying (how many months - should I stop using it now?).
As you know, I fell pregnant 2 years ago while using my diaphragm without spermicide. Hence my lovely little girl!
But…. This makes me a little bit anxious to use this as a method.
Do you recommend using condoms instead around fertile periods? Or is there another method of contraception which is more blue friendly?

Diet:

- Are standard porridge oats for breakfast with fruit and nuts a good idea? I usually add oat bran too but this may soak up nutrients - shall I cut it out?
- Another breakfast query: if I have time, I like to try to do a Pilates or yoga online class (30-40 mins) before breakfast. Is this a bad idea for blue? Do I need to eat at least something beforehand?
- I am a tea lover thanks to you! I mainly drink decaf black tea though. I’m also a herbal tea fan. Shall I cut out herbal tea? And what about raspberry leaf tea? I do actually have a teapot and could buy my own leaves to brew…. So tell me what’s best for blue?!
- DH does a lot of our cooking and is a BIG fan of soy sauce. It’s on everything he makes, and peas… are these things ok for blue? I seem to remember that peas aren’t..?
- I know how important dairy is. So I’ve been buying these Total 5% fat Greek yoghurts, (they make them in the UK – not sure about elsewhere). I just checked the ingredients list on them today and it is: pasteurised skimmed milk, cream, and live active yoghurt cultures. I’m guessing that the skimmed milk inclusion means these are not a good idea? So would regular Greek yoghurt be better? Also do you recommend that I don’t eat any more of the Total yoghurts from now – annoyingly, I have a couple of tubs in my fridge, and I’m the only one who eats it!– or would eating it now, not hurt a sway in May / June time?
- On that note — honey in yoghurt, ok for blue…?

Thanks so much and happy new year to you xxx

Bump! :)

Thanks for the bump, I had apparently clicked on this and it shut down withut my replying, and then it didn't show up any more.

The most important thing is to eat more than you were. If you can't get up to the full amount, then don't.

Yes, that's part of why we exercise, but of course exercise does also help your sway.

For DH, either the 600 or the 1600 are both in the range of acceptable. Your choice on that. The 1400 is also fine for you to take.

The probiotics are both fine.

The carnitine spaced or together is at your preference. Whichever he prefers.

I would suggest having your iron levels checked before changing anything. Once a week red meat is really not a lot and if you're prone to anemia I would not want to mess anything up telling you to reduce it without knowing your levels. Taking it every other day is also acceptable. Iron certainly doesn't sway pink, it's more that I don't like to see anyone who is already high in iron, continuing with it as in the long term it is not good for health.

STAY AWAY FROM SPIRULINA. It doesn't help your health, your fertility, or anything that you aren't already getting from a normal everyday multivitamin and a reasonably healthy diet. And these algae supplements (also blue green algae and chlorella), because of naturally occurring chemicals in the algae itself, are linked to motor neuron disorders like ALS and Alzheimers. My father in law died of ALS, and it is a horrible disease - and yes, he did take all sorts of supplements including algal supplements.

So are you not able to be able to tell when your fertile window is opening?? Many of us who have all boys have unprotected sex without spermicide or condoms when we aren't fertile, and only use protection during our fertile window. Then, when we want to start actively trying, we stop using the birth control. I would simply use non-spermicide condoms during the fertile window. Or, if it's too hard to tell when you're fertile, then use the non-spermicide condoms all month long.

I would have the oats but probably skip the oat bran, unless you need it for regularity.

Just have whatever kinds of herbal tea you want, but have any one kind no more often than 2-3 times a week. Have chamomile 2-3 times a week, mint 2-3 times a week, etc. That way you will avoid any medicinal qualities of them. I remain unconvinced about how rasp. leaf tea actually sways, so again, I'd have that no more than 2-3 times per week.

Soy sauce and peas are fine in dietary amounts. Soy protein isolate is what to avoid (so like the "frankenfoods" that have tons of soy protein added). Soy sauce is a natural food and is fine to have in dietary amounts, there's hardly any protein in it. With the peas, while I prefer to see you guys go lightly on the pea proteins that are added to vegan protein shakes and stuff like that, dietary peas are perfectly fine to have.

Honey is fine for blue.

As long as there's 5% fat in the yogurt it's fine to finish up what you've got. You are a LONG way from May-June and even if it was actively swaying pink (which it isn't) that would be enough time to get over that. I would probably seek out the regular greek yogurt from here on in, they add that skim dairy powder to try and artificially boost protein sky high and you don't need that. But if you can't find any other kind I'd likely just keep buying it.

Hiya, thanks for the reply. I totally forgot to ask about Ovaltine as part of the blue diet? I like to have a cup most nights – half a cup of full fat milk, three spoons of Ovaltine, and the rest boiling water. Figured that more dairy would be a good idea, but just want to check on that as I haven’t heard it mentioned before?

Another diet question: is a salad (leaves, tomato, celery, cucumber, etc) plus protein (chicken / mozzarella cheese) not enough of a meal for blue? It’s missing a complex carbohydrates, but I’m wondering what could be added that would be nice!

Also, I wanted to check about exercising before breakfast.
— Sometimes I have to do a 1hour cycle into work, and leave so early in the morning that I don’t eat breakfast beforehand. This is about once a week.
— There are also times where I want to do a yoga or Pilates 40 minute class in the morning, before breakfast. To be honest, I’m not that hungry first thing.
But is it a good idea to eat before these activities and, if so, how much? Would a few nuts and dried dates suffice?

As for iron, I will try to get my level checked, but think maybe it’s safer to do one every other day, as then I can just push it up for the next couple of months and always taper it down later in the year.

As for my fertile window…. I’m not that on top of it! I have polycystic ovaries, and so my cycles have, in the past, been very irregular and long. I used to have 60 days cycles and found it near on impossible to track ovulation.
Thanks to a healthier diet, my cycles have shortened to around 32 days, But they are still not very regular. I’m going to get some condoms and use these during the fertile period. I do have two little girls thanks to using the diaphragm (without Spermacide) when I thought I was fertile, so I don’t think it’s the best method to continue as unless I want another’ oops baby’ (although like you said - they’re just the sweetest little people!).

One sex question while I remember: is it preferable for the woman to have an orgasm during sex in her fertile window for blue, or is just before sex just as good?!

And to clarify, is that 2 to 3 cups of herbal tea per week?

And lastly, I know you don’t usually comment on exact tablets to get but my brain is a bit scrambled around the right folate to buy.

1. This one is comparatively cheap, but I’m not sure if it’s actually Folic Acid? Looks like confusing marketing actually…. Solgar Folacin (Folic Acid) 400 µg Tablets - Pack of 250 - Vitamin B9 - Healthy Wellbeing - Healthy Maternal Tissue Growth - Vegan, Gluten Free and Kosher https://amzn.eu/d/3BPp4Vo

2. This one is ‘Folate’ it seems (and more ££): Folate (L-Methylfolate) 400μg x 90 Capsules - 5-MTHF Active Form of Folic Acid/Vitamin B9 - Supports Normal Maternal Tissue Growth During Pregnancy - PRENATAL- Magnesium Stearate Free - Made in Wales https://amzn.eu/d/0jBCGst

I know you said 6 weeks before swaying is an okay time to start taking all of the pills, but given I’m heading towards my late 30s and DH is in his mid 40s, I think a 12 week timeline of taking all the medication might be more favourable, if you agree? 12 weeks before June that is…

Thank you so much for the help, as ever xxx

Bump :) xx

Also wanted to add a quick question - I’m drinking Yorkshire tea bags but also got a snazzy new kettle thing for Xmas, so I could brew my own tea…. Would it be better to buy black tea leaves and brew it that way? Might make it stronger I guess!

I’m a total tea addict now :) but can only handle it in the morning or I’m buzzing all night haha

Also…. One more question (sorry) that’s been bugging me but I’m sure experts on this site will know the answer to.
What counts as day 1 of your period? Is it when you start spotting/ very light bleeding? I always thought it did, but most websites seem to say it’s the day of full flow. Or the day AFTER you start bleeding a little bit, if that bleeding starts after midday / 3pm / 5pm / 6pm (this time varies wildly!!)

Does anyone have a consensus on this?! I’m totally baffled.

RE the tea, whatever you prefer. I don't think it needs to be stronger if you're happy with what you have.

The official rule on periods is, the first day of bright red flow. I personally use the rule of thumb "if you think it's your period, then it is". If you ALWAYS start your period, 14 days after you ovulated, and you have a day or even two of light flow that then gets going, some people just start off their period that way. If you have half a day of light bleeding that then worsens (even if it starts at 6pm and doesn't worsen til the next day) and that is just how your period normally starts, then I would count that as the first day!

Now what NOT to count is if you're say only 7-10 days past ovulation and you start having spotting that goes on for a few/several days, and only at that point THEN turns into a normal period, then that spotting wasn't the period and you should count the day of red flow. And if you notice bleeding at 11:59 PM, then count the NEXT day as CD 1.

This really is not a critical deal, though. It doesn't MATTER at all what day is CD 1, if you get it a day sooner or a day later it is totally irrelevant.

Ovaltine is fine provided it doesn't have artificial sweetener. I haven't had it in years so I can't remember exactly if it's sugar based or not.

That low carb salad would NOT be enough of a meal. You could add any source of carbs - croutons, dried or fresh fruit bits, sweet potato, chickpeas, a sugar sweetened salad dressing, or have a roll or glass of fruit juice alongside to add some carbs and make it acceptable.

It is best to eat before exercise, even if it's something small. A few nuts and/or dates would work.

:agree: on the iron.

Ah, got it. In that case just do your best to use a non-spermicide condom if you can.

I'm not quite following your question about orgasm but both sex in the fertile window and/or before sex are good. For reasons we don't really know, the average couple with all boys is more sexual (both men and women) than the average couple with all girls - exceptions abound but there's a strong trend that way. We don't know if it's a coincidence or if it's the increased sex that sways, so if you can have at least one orgasm in the fertile window and/or before your attempts, I would do so.

2-3 cups of any given kind of herbal tea per week. You can have "herbal tea" the larger category more than that, but the amount of any particular herb, 2-3 times a week.

Either of those folic acids/folates are fine. We do have a lot of people use the Solgar, but the other brand looked ok to me too. I know it's very confusing the way they describe and label the folate/folic acid bottles, I wish they'd standardize it. But either one will work.

12 weeks works too. There's nothing wrong with doing the supps for 12 weeks if you can afford it!

Thanks to you I just checked the ingredients list - it contains acsulfame K. I’ve been consuming quite a lot of it! Could I have messed up my sway even a few months out?! Feel a bit sick now actually. Hate how they sneak this stuff in there :( do sweeteners build up in your system and take a while to get out…?

And thanks that makes sense about periods. There’s a lot of confusion online, which confused me even more! Some people say that if bleeding starts after 3pm, then the next day counts as ‘day 1’. For someone like me with erratic cycles, trying to plan ahead becomes important but it’s hard to.

I’ve been having Honey & Mustard Pizza Express salad dressing. Says 18g of Carb, of which 17g is Sugar per 100ml. Would that count as carbs? I usually have orange juice and fizzy water too :)

Few food qq’s added on:
- are sausages okay for blue? I’m talking about big fresh Cumberland sausages from the meat counter - don’t know if that makes a difference!
- I think I’ve asked this before, so apologies if so, but is Butter superior to cooking, e.g. scrambled eggs, over coconut oil?

And thanks for looking into it - it is better to have Folate over Folic acid for Blue right? I don’t mind paying a bit extra for folate in that case xxx

No. First of all artificial sweetener is not very effective (if at all) for pink, and secondly that's plenty of time to get it out of your system. I also hate how they're sneaking them into stuff more and more. Sugar is expensive so companies are sneakily replacing some sugar with the artificial sweetener.

Re the "CD 1" thing - people love to come up with these hard and fast rules to govern body processes that sort of resist hard and fast rules. I think you're overthinking how important it even is. It's not a big deal at all and since you do have erratic cycles, even figuring out CD 1 in terms of the most widely accepted definition doesn't help you since your O can come on different days and how you count CD 1 has nothing to do with that.

I will say that if bright red flow starts at 3pm that should be CD 1. That makes no sense to count the following day as CD 1. Yes, if it starts at 11:58 pm then the next day should be CD 1, but hours and hours of red flow should be CD 1. Again, "if you think this is your period, then it is" works very well here.

Yes yes that's exactly the type of salad dressing I'm talking about. Protein + carbs does not need to be a HUGE amount of carbs to have the desired effect. That will work just fine.

Sausage is ok now and then but I'd not rely on it as a staple food. Has a lot of nitrates in it and sausage typically doesn't have as much protein as an actual cut of meat does (because sausage has a lot of fat, overall it's lower protein).

Both butter and coconut oil are fine.

Folate is better for everyone if you can find and afford it. It used to be very expensive and hard to find but it's really come down in price and is widely available, so if you can find the folate it's great to use it instead. Just as effective and possibly safer.

Hey, thanks Atomic. I think my issue is trying to plan ahead and make sure I have DH around during key times of the month when I want to start trying! But it’s pretty much crystal ball stuff at this stage.

If I really pushed you though, would you say butter is better than coconut oil? I’ve seen a lot of blue swayers say they cook in coconut oil. I don’t mind either, maybe a slight preference for butter, but I’ll do whatever benefits my sway. I read your article about fats as well, very interesting :)

Re carb in the salad: would adding walnuts count? I usually have juice mixed with carbonated spring water alongside it so hopefully that’s enough.

Apart from red meat, like steak, is there any other particular meat you’d recommend? Sausages are a bit of a staple here because they’re not that pricey. And I’m not much of a cook lol!

Thank you xxx

Ps I just sent you one short email - hope that’s ok :) xx

I will not say butter or coconut oil is better. They are both perfectly fine because they are saturated fat and we have never studied them in a study to see if one sways more than the other. I got my boys eating butter. They never even had coconut oil back then, LOL.

Yes nuts in the salad would absolutely count as carbs.

Chicken, turkey, mutton or lamb, goat, ground beef (mince) are all fine options. Pork may be a little less good because there are more Omega 6 in it but as long as it's not highly processed it can work (I have eaten pork my whole life and got boys with that, so I know it's not something that can sway by that much!)

Hey Atomic, hope you’re well? Just wanted to say - we have been quite ill recently. DH has been more sick than I’ve seen him in about a decade! Full on flu, lost lots of weight, nausea, bad cough, the lot. Needless to say there hasn’t been much intimacy for the past couple of weeks….! We are still around three months off, beginning to try, but I’m wondering if this might cause an issue? Given his age as well (45( shall I stick with the pills and supplements which I outlined before or up any particular doses? Let me know if you want me to write them all out again. I suppose he doesn’t exactly seem to be bursting with virility and health which is what I think we want for blue…

As for myself, I’m considering joining a new Gym but slightly concerned I might be overdoing it on the exercise front. I’m trying to do weight training as much as possible (am still small though lol). How many times a week would you recommend?

Thanks very much, as ever xx

Best of luck I hope you are all feeling better soon!

Oh thank you :) 💜

Oh gosh I'm sorry to hear you've all been unwell. I would just continue with what I've already suggested. More is not better, and we have had some men taking massive doses of vitamins (basically making themselves sick taking too much) who had lots of girls. Just stick with the standard dose.

Sickness is caused by germs. All that is happening is that you guys have been hit hard this year by sickness - and some years are just like that! (I remember this NIGHTMARE year where we were sick 18 times in one year - like every other week for part of the year, it was brutal. We got a stomach bug while we still had a cold!)

It's not that he's in ill health or lacking vitality, he's just been exposed to some germs he's never met before and they've put the whammy on him. Stay the course!

Ok thanks Atomic :) he’s been away so we’ve also had a massive gap in between BD - not going to plan much lol

I’m about to buy more Coq10 pills, stick to 100mg? They seem easier to get in higher doses for some reason…. Whatever you think is best, I’ll get! Thanks xx

It used to be that you could only find them in 30-50 mg and 100 was hard to find! I would say no more than 200 for blue swayers, but that's ok if it's easier to find.

I found 100! Quick question please :) both DH and I are taking azithromycin antibiotics for a bacterial infection - could this mess our sway? We’re around 9 weeks away from attempting.

Anything I can do to counteract this? Shall I double up on probiotics after for a week or so…?

Thanks very much, I’m so worried xxx

That is plenty of time to get over the medication. You do not need to double up on probiotics, just keep taking them and try when you're ready.

Thanks Atomic. What’s the cut off point do you reckon, for antibiotics on a blue sway? I’m starting to think these may not have worked and might need to try stronger ones … but really don’t want it to interfere!

Also, how soon before attempting would you recommend adding in snacks - is it three snacks a day?! Thanks x

Update: just adding that I’m really confused about what’s happened this cycle. I took OPKs and none showed ovulation was about to happen but for the past few days my temperature has shot up so I think it has happened (but earlier than usual) without any usual signs such as CM etc. Hate feeling like it’s out of my control or maybe happened weakly thanks to the antibiotics….

2 weeks before.

Keep in mind that many people think they actually sway blue and WANT to be on them for their sway.

OPK are fallible. We use them because it's the best technology we have, but they don't always work.

That the OPK didn't read positive doesn't mean anything was wrong with your ovulation.

Atomic, this may sound crazy but I’ve been reading about moon phases… I have a ‘red moon cycle’ currently which I didn’t used to have. Meaning my period is coinciding with the full moon. From everything I’ve read, women are more fertile when ovulating with the full moon. Should I try to shift my cycle before trying? Would that even be possible to do before June?! Xx

Also... I've been eating prawns and just read somewhere else on the site that these are rec for pink. Shall I cut out immediately? I'm about 6 weeks out, can't believe I didn't realise until now.

I've also been finding it hard to regulate my stress levels. Just in case you couldn't tell by now, I'm a bit of a stress head. I know being competitive about things you can change is best for blue, whereas I tend to worry about health and everything else really. I'm trying to think what I could do to help and generally feel more stable. I also have this dreadful feeling that it's too late and I should put off trying until I have things more under control. Classic girl mum thinking? Be good to hear your thoughts xxx

Sorry, just going to add this on, as not completely sure of the answer. I think as a result of taking antibiotics, I now have a yeast infection or thrush – great. I never find the cream that helpful and I haven’t really found yoghurt massively helpful either. I’m going to buy the pills for it, but how long should I give, before swaying after taking pills?

I don't think the moon phases really do anything and it is entirely likely that by messing with your cycle, you would end up causing more harm than good by disrupting your fertility. For all you know you may even have a longer couple of cycles and end up Oing at a point in time different from what you expect.

I seriously doubt prawns cause any harm at all. Go ahead and cut them out now if you're concerned about it and move on from here. Plenty of time to let any potential yuckiness leave your system.

Not at all, if anything it's more boy mom. Now the trick is, you need to treat that as a set of challenges to face and not something to postpone till you get it right. That's what the boy moms do - we have absolutely all that same stress and health anxiety, but boy moms are like "ok I'm going to do whatever I can to get all this under control". Pink mamas tend to skip months because "I'll never get it right." So just treat this as a project where you have to cross the t's and dot the i's and you'll be just fine.

6 weeks is plenty of time to get rid of the thrush, just take them now and you'll be a-ok by the time it's time to try.

Hey, thanks Atomic for your reassuring message. The thrush medication wasn’t helpful at all, I think it actually made things worse…

Editing this message so it’s more up to date: I currently have terrible norovirus (as do others in the house). Unable to eat, keep down food, or sleep well. This has been the case since the night of 3rd May, so on the third day now. It’s nasty :(
I planned to try early June (I booked a trip especially) , ie 4 weeks away. But now I’m scared the effects of this virus will have a knock on effect - should I wait till early July?

Added to this, DH went away for a mountain biking/cycling weekend trip. He usually does a few cycle trips a week but this was one full day (sigh)

I also asked in an earlier message which lubricant would be best for a blue sway
1. Conceive Plus
2. Preseed?
3. Nothing?!
Have read some different stuff and just want to buy whichever one you think will be best.

And also, as Robitussin seems to be unavailable, would Covonia Chesty Cough Sugar Free Syrup do instead? The ingredients are below. Annoying that it contains sweeteners when I try to avoid them…

Each 15ml Dose Of Cough Syrup Contains: Guaifenesin 200mg, Also Contains: Sweeteners Sorbitol (E420) Approximately 3.1g, Sodium Cyclamate, Sodium Saccharin, Colour Ponceau 4r (E124), Anise (E1518), Blackcurrant And Menthol Flavours

Or maybe Benylin would be better? Ingreds below:

Each 5 ml of Syrup contains: Guaifenesin 100 mg, Also contains: Ethanol, Glucose and Sucrose

Anyway im in a real flap over what to do. Try in a few weeks feeling nervous because I’ve been so sick this month and also couldn’t track ovulation properly (no real sign of it happening and I had a bit of a fever). Go for it in early June or wait til July, but who knows what could be going on then…. Wish I knew. Xx

Bump! :)

As long as you're not actively sick any more I'd be ok with you trying, but as always let your own gut instinct be your guide.

The bike trip is a little more concerning, so it could be that with both of them together it makes more sense to wait. But of course July can be quite hot! There is never a perfect month, so use your best judgement. It's just one of those crystal ball things I can never know for sure.

Both Preseed and Conceive Plus are good, we don't have a preference either way. If you make a lot of natural CM, I probably would just skip the lube and go with nothing, but if you need lube, or your own CM is scanty and drier than you think it should be, then use either Preseed or Conceive Plus (or in fact any sperm safe, conception friendly lube.)

I'd probably just go with the Benylin to avoid the artificial sweetener, but honestly they're both likely just fine.