So that means I cannot get stressed Or angry at all? I think I must Be a natural
Born worrier , that although my face doesn't show to be like that, but deep inside me I am a sensitive person who can get sad, angry, jealous, mad and worry about everything in this life! Though I am not sure how a woman's personality sways for certain gender but i find it hard to find a relaxing life for me these days!
You have described me here,this is me to a t.
actually stress is shown to sway pink and many studies have shown that those with stressful careers have more girls... so even if it raises testosterone levels, it doesn't raise it enough to sway blue and actually still sways pink
studies have shown that high testosterone levels too sway blue, though
I do think it's hard to separate personality and hormones, I think sex-drive is a good indicator, though.
Normal day in, day out stress is NOT what sways. Every one of us, boy mom and girl mom alike, face stresses and challenges and get upset over things that happen. Those things are out of our control. The things we CAN control are the sort of things that sway - things like taking on challenges, wanting to be in control of every aspect of one's existence, and getting carried away obsessing over swaying are the things that sway blue.
Please read the following because it helps to explain a little bit the kinds of personality that REALLY raise testosterone.http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...tifically.html
"stress" is kind of a ill-defined amorphous term that can mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people.Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbowflower
The kind of stress that sways pink is the kind of stress where an individual has no control over things that are happening to them, even to the point of feeling victimized by it. Chronic, unrelenting stress where a person never gets to succeed or win and is at the mercy of forces entirely beyond their control (we've all had jobs with THAT kind of stress, I'm sure.) will lower testosterone.
On the other hand, the kind of stress that sways blue is the type that comes from taking on challenges and feeling successful at them, feeling that one is in control of at least some things, that they or their team is winning or succeeding in some way - you can have an extremely stressful job and have T thru the roof! Swaying can actually sway blue for some people because they view it as a challenge that if they do everything perfectly, they will "win" and therefore "earn" their DG - this works great for blue swayers but not so well for pink. At the same time, some swayers feel like they don't deserve their DG, their sway is not good enough, fate/God/the stars are set against them, or that they have to produce a child of a particular gender for their husbands/families or they are a failure, and this is a good mindset for a pink swayer but not so hot for blue. (THESE ARE JUST GENERALIZATIONS. Please no one take any offense, this is just a general observation and not true for every individual.)
Also, a person's mental attitude has a LOT to do with our response to stress. Some people have a mindset where they can take a setback and turn it into a challenge, and these people tend to have higher T levels than people who get very defeated after things go wrong. So even when you analyze people's lifestyles, it can be deceptive because we can't look into their hearts and minds and really truly KNOW what is going on.
no, I don't think that sort of stress always sways blue
the studies specifically looked at high-powered/stressful jobs, such as management roles, where the women WOULD have responsibility, the decision making, the challenges... no doubt they didn't ALL feel out of control/overwhelmed by their jobs or they wouldn't have stuck it out
Well, we'll just have to agree to disagree then. I'm quite convinced on the basis of not only several studies and Valerie Grant's book, but beyond that, the overall trends I've seen on the forums. There's no real way to discuss those observations without giving offense to people on both sides of the aisle.
All these studies are just overall trends and there are MANY factors at play like diet, etc.
I have a colleague at work with exactly the same job as me - we're both in Management roles and we both do well in the workplace but when we're under stress it really affects her. She gets very little sleep because she lies awake all night worrying, her skin gets bad, her diet becomes terrible etc. whereas this is not at all how I react. Just an example of how different people can react to exactly the same situation in the same job and how one probably has high testosterone and one probably has low!
Yes, I don't know why I have sons! I lie awake every night stressed, and I always feel that defeated feeling like I won't get what I want...It's all very interesting isn't it?!
I think it is really difficult to pinpoint one main reason for having a certain gender. I think there are things that influence gender more than others. I don't think even the HT girls or their doctors know why they have more than one gender over another or why some cycles they don't have healthy DG and have only healthy opposite embies.
I have always had a very high stress life, but have two boys. I also conceived both in very different circumstances and was not immediately symptomatic of PCOS, except for very mild hirsutism.
I agree, I am one of the most stressed out, highly wound, tense people ever and often lie awake at night consumed with worry. I have seriously had insomnia for like YEARS at a time. With DS 3 I had a super high stress job too. My mom, MIL, and stepmom are all super calm - they get upset of course but just don't get as worked up as I do (all have girls)
Over the last year I have gained some perspective on this - for those who don't know, my FIL is dying of a very difficult, debilitating disease and has not handled it well at all emotionally (refuses treatment and will not agree to several home improvements that must be done that my husband has to do for him), my MIL, who is already disabled from arthritis herself, was diagnosed with glaucoma at the same time and the doctors couldn't get it under control and we thought for several months she was going blind. My teenage son is going to have to move in with them at some point in the future. :( My husband kinda went off the deep end a bit and was extremely hard to live with for several months. Additionally, he switched to a new work schedule to help with his dad - he now only works 3 days a week, the job pays less as well, we had no money, were traveling constantly - it was extremely rough.
And my mindset really was different than it has ever been in my entire life. I cannot put it into words really but my normal response is that while I do get stressed out and worried and think I can't handle something, I am always planning and scheming and trying to figure out what I can do to make things better (worry can actually kind of calm me down because it's how I plan). In this case there seriously was nothing I could do to make anything better because everything was utterly beyond my control. I couldn't fix anything because it was all other people's actions making us all miserable, and many days it was all I could do to get thru the day one step at a time and thinking no further ahead than what I was going to make for dinner that night. I would literally count the minutes until I could just go to bed every night, even tho I would lie awake worrying at least no one could talk to me and make things worse. It changed me on a fundamental level and I KNOW that while I've really honestly thought I was stressed out at other times in my life and of course I WAS, the most stressful thing is to not be able to control anything in your life and it is a totally different feeling than what most people call stress. And BOY is it different than the kind of stress you get from swaying!! Like night and day different. Almost like an entirely different emotion that needs a new word. Because swaying is all about hope and planning and doing things that you feel are going to make some difference...it's a whole different ball game when there is this stress and worry and you can do nothing to change it other than endure. But no one could have told me any of this had I not experienced it myself.
My point is just that I don't want people to get stressed/obsessed over swaying and justify it because of this one study and think it's going to sway pink for them because I really don't think it will.
AS, just curious, what's your zodiac sign?? you sound alot like me. haha
Gemini!Quote:
Originally Posted by Wishing4Princess
ahh, interesting! I'm a virgo..but always stressed..total mess, always trying to 'create new plans'..sucks to be me sometimes. I feel bad for my dh and the rest of the family who deal with me..I also have 2 boys.
Atomic-Hope things are more relaxed for you now. Sounds like you went through a pretty rough patch.
I guess I do use planning as a coping strategy! I try to be much more relaxed now too.
AS, I'm really sorry about the stuff going on in your life. That is beyond tough and yes, you are very right that it is very different than swaying stress.
Things are def. going better for now, thanks you guys. :heart: