Tired of feeling like a freak show sometimes...

I have four boys and when we go out, it attracts a lot of attention. People run over to count how many boys I have, ask where the girls are, and cran their necks to peek into the stroller to see if the baby is also a boy. What also adds to the public's curiosity is that my older two boys are twins, and are identical, so its obvious they are twins. They look exactly alike. So I get questions about that too. Most questions/comments I do'nt mind too much. They get old, but they are ok. And some people actually make nice comments, like other moms of all boys, or sometimes old ladies will comment that my boys are very well-behaved, cute, or helpful. My twins (age 8) are extremely helpful and emotionally mature, and I see people staring all the time as they watch them help take care of and play their younger brothers.

But some people just have a bunch of really rude, mean, stupid comments to say, making me feel like my family is some sort of all boy freak show. That is hard for me.

But today I googled "mom of four boys" and found a bunch of blogs of moms with four boys. It made me feel like I wasn't alone. And best of all, I found a blog of a mom with five boys, who has TWO sets of identical twins. I can't imagine how much attention she gets. But again, it made me feel like our family is normal too.

Believe me it's the same with 4girls! But you know what I only felt this way when DD4 was a small baby. Like everyone is watching us ect. Now she is 2 and I don't even think of others in the store or anywhere. Really that feeling is just gone .I don't think ppl are staring at us talking about us or anything like that! Maybe it was just in my head all along?
I do get stupid comments sometimes but really not much and I just tell them we are so lucky and so they shut up lol.

I would try to change your point of view! My kids have heard do many comments they are very aware of others staring when we go somewhere but they love it. I actually think it boosts their self confidence!

If you do have a girl, the comments will not stop. The comments just change and the new ones are actually more annoying but I just don't care anymore.

Focus on the positive comments about how well-behaved they are! Stupid people have no idea that they are in fact stupid so I just pity them.

I do try to focus on the positive comments. And the positive ones are there and are wonderful. But its hard when I get the bad ones. I get some really really rude ones and they just come out of nowhere sometimes. Having 4 of the same gender, all boys, including twins...somehow, that makes people say really rude things. I have had my boys called a "curse" and also someone once said to me that "I must have done something bad in another life, so God punished me with all boys." To hear someone say that my precious children who I love dearly are actually a horrible punishment....wow, that hurts. It doesn't matter that I of course know its not true. It still hurt me. I know its so rediculous I should be able to laugh it off, but it hurts to have our family treated like a scourge by so many people.

I know I shoudl just grow a thick skin and be tough. I know many people admire my kids for their talents and sweet nature. I know old ladies watch us because its amusing to watch four boys interact--and they usually interact quitely nicely. I often get a lot of smiles from Grandmas and other moms...esp ones who have boys too. I don't mind the nice stares, and the curious comments...like you said, some of the comments and attention are really fun. A sweet, sincere compliment can make my day. When I had just the twin babies, we got SO much fun/nice attention wherever we went. And we still get that kind of good attention but the downright mean people--they hurt.

its the same with 5 girls in tow. i actually went off on a little old lady in the store. i heard her comment about "all those girls." and she kept staring at us. then i heard, "its so selfish to raise a child in this day and age." i lost it.. like the great depression was a wonderful time for her to be born! i told her so then i informed her i was going to have triplet girls just to piss her off. yes it was a little rude but when my 11 year old hears these things it drives me crazy.
on the other hand sometimes i get smiles and told how beautiful all my little blonde blue eyed babies are. and that im one lucky mama. and i am. focus on the good stuff. people will say something rude no matter what genders you have or how many children you have.. i even heard one lady have to defend her perfect pair.

I understand, totally!
I have an -all boy, freak show- family myself! Don't even want to know what people think when they see us walking by.

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its the same with 5 girls in tow. i actually went off on a little old lady in the store. i heard her comment about "all those girls." and she kept staring at us. then i heard, "its so selfish to raise a child in this day and age." i lost it.. like the great depression was a wonderful time for her to be born! i told her so then i informed her i was going to have triplet girls just to piss her off. yes it was a little rude but when my 11 year old hears these things it drives me crazy.
on the other hand sometimes i get smiles and told how beautiful all my little blonde blue eyed babies are. and that im one lucky mama. and i am. focus on the good stuff. people will say something rude no matter what genders you have or how many children you have.. i even heard one lady have to defend her perfect pair.

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I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you told her you are having triplet girls next! That is awesome!!! I have never told someone off or been rude back in public. Usually I am just so shocked at people's random rudeness that I can't speak, can't think of what to say, and I just feel angry tears coming to my eyes. I am not a confrontational person by nature. Like you said, it so hurts for my older boys who understand that people are saying, "I bet mommy didn't want all of you," or "you are curse not a blessing."

My SIL who does'nt have kids yet has said multiple times she hopes she is not cursed with all boys like me. Yes, she says "cursed." The first few times I let it go--she's family and I usually like her ok and I didn't want to strain things. But the last time she said it, I finally went off on her. I said it hurts that you call my precious children a curse and think boys are the worst thing in the world. I went off for a while. Dh's other family members heard, and were SHOCKED because I am usually so easy-going. It felt so good to say it...at the same time, SIL just defended herself saying, "I grew up with close sisters so I want naturally want girls, blah blah." However, she has not been stupid enough to say anything about it again. And the rest of Dh's family, who have occasionally teased me about having all boys, have also laid off. So thats good.

I agree that you can get rude comments no matter what the gender make-up of your family is. For sure. But I also believe that some situations, like mine, 4 in a row, close in age, attract more attention than others and we get more than our share of the bad comments. I also have been told that I am lucky and that is fun to hear. I had a mom the other day say, "4 boys?" And I said "yes" and braced myself for the dreaded comments. She responded, Wow, that was my dream family, but I got girls! And we laughed.

All girl freak show here...people even pull up at the traffic lights and stare when I have all the girls in the car. lol

I totally know what you mean, fun family. I have 3 boys now and could have 4 if this babe ends up being one. My oldest are identical twins too, so we already get tons of attention because of that. I've learned to focus on my boys when we're in public and try to ignore all the stares and comments - especially when one or all of them are misbehaving and drawing even more attention than usual.

Did I told you how people look when you buy a HPT with 5 kids? :rofl:

I say f* them!!! As much as I want a girl, I think it is cool to have 3,4,5 or 6 of one gender. It is unique and cool, plus you will probably be the cool mom when they get older and all their buddies will probably want to hang out at your house and think you are cool:).

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Originally Posted by wilma_five

Did I told you how people look when you buy a HPT with 5 kids? :rofl:

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lol... That is pretty funny:).

I'm a big fan of a good comeback comment that you have ready to fly....doesn't have to be mean, but how about something "educating?" I know that I always feel so much better when I say something immediately rather than walk away and WISH I said something. If they are rude, they deserve to be told so. I just don't understand why people feel the need to say anything but constructive things to strangers.

It never ends I think. Unless you have a perfect split of boys and girls you are going to get comments....then they are all about how MANY kids you have even if there is an even mix!

I have 3 boys and 1 girl (which of course I'm grateful that I got a girl) but I always get comments of "Your poor daughter! All those brothers and no sister to play with" and "Oh you better hurry and get on making another girl so that poor girl isn't alone"....like we have a choice! lol.

PS People are so stupid.

I think 4 and above must be the magic number. I have never been aproached by a stranger to comment on our 3 girls, but i bet that will change when we have 4.

Just wanted to say 3,4,5 more plus of the same gender is lovely and makes your family very special.

People say stupid things I honestly think, just to be heard. Don't pay any attention to the ridiculous comments !

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I think 4 and above must be the magic number. I have never been aproached by a stranger to comment on our 3 girls, but i bet that will change when we have 4.

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Well, being that I used to have 3 boys, and now I have 4, I can tell you that I have gotten WAY more comments (esp rude ones) now that I have 4 boys. So I think what you said is true. 3 boys got me a few comments here and there, but not anywhere near the same as having 4. I think there are still enough families with 3 of the same gender so thats its somewhat normal. But 4 in a row starts to put you into freak show range.

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Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink

I would try to change your point of view! My kids have heard do many comments they are very aware of others staring when we go somewhere but they love it. I actually think it boosts their self confidence!

If you do have a girl, the comments will not stop. The comments just change and the new ones are actually more annoying but I just don't care anymore.

Focus on the positive comments about how well-behaved they are! Stupid people have no idea that they are in fact stupid so I just pity them.

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I think this is the best thing I've heard all day! Never thought about it like that, but you are right! Instead of getting hurt by people's comments (and yes, I get comments all the time about having two boys so close in age - oh, the horror :rolleyes:), I need to remember that the stupid/rude/ignorant people don't actually realize that *they* are the ones with a problem, not me.

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Originally Posted by fivebabies

It never ends I think. Unless you have a perfect split of boys and girls you are going to get comments....then they are all about how MANY kids you have even if there is an even mix!

I have 3 boys and 1 girl (which of course I'm grateful that I got a girl) but I always get comments of "Your poor daughter! All those brothers and no sister to play with" and "Oh you better hurry and get on making another girl so that poor girl isn't alone"....like we have a choice! lol.

PS People are so stupid.

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I hear this about my daughter too, but I have 2 boys and 1 girl. :( It really irritates me because deep down, sometimes I fear she really will be lonely when she and the boys get older. I wish people weren't so bloody insensitive!

I saw a mom recently at the store with several boys and I was unintentionally staring at her because I thought her boys were the cutest things ever and I was so wistful and jealous of her. I contemplated walking up to her and telling her what a beautiful family she has and I regret not doing so. I have 2 DD's and would seriously give up my life if it meant knowing I could have a boy (I realize that doesn't make sense but it's a metaphor). So if it is someone like me looking, it's b/c I am so envious.
I wish people would say more nice things to families with single genders. The one time I had a grown woman come up to me after DD2 was born and she said "I love seeing families with 2 girls! I have 2 girls and my oldest is getting married and the younger one is the MOH and they're best friends." To this day it is literally THE only positive comment I have ever gotten regarding having 2 girls. When I was pregnant I had a woman laugh at me in the store when I told her I was having another girl. In the tone of "good luck with that" aka sucks to be you.
People can be unbelievable sometimes.

I have 5 girls and alot of people look at us. Especially because four of my girls have kinda blonde brown hair light skin and green eyes and one has dark brown hair brown eyes and tan. I even got a comment of the one that looks different could not have the same father as the other ones. They all have the same father!! She just looks so different. I always get rude comments cuz i have all girls and everyone says oh i rather have all boys. I ignore people.

I think one of the things that makes GD so hard is also the stupid comments ,people are so rude sometimes ,best is just roll your eyes and ignore them ,they soon get the message

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Originally Posted by 4BOYS

I think one of the things that makes GD so hard is also the stupid comments ,people are so rude sometimes ,best is just roll your eyes and ignore them ,they soon get the message

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Or even better, ask them 'what's wrong with what I have already?' the next time someone says, 'wow, you have so many boys! Don't you want a girl?'
That's the comment I heard frequently even though I only had two boys :mad:

one lady i know who has one of each said to me "you must be desperate for a girl" i said "whatever" hoping it would be left at that ,it wasnt , she went on to say "i would die with so many boys ,it must kill you not having at least one little girl to take the edge off, one boy is more than enough for me " i kept my cool as i was on the verge of ripping her head right off, i just calmly said "why is your son really difficult to handle ,or is it you just dont like him in general ?" she soon shut up hasnt said a word to me since :wink:

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Originally Posted by 4BOYS

one lady i know who has one of each said to me "you must be desperate for a girl" i said "whatever" hoping it would be left at that ,it wasnt , she went on to say "i would die with so many boys ,it must kill you not having at least one little girl to take the edge off, one boy is more than enough for me " i kept my cool as i was on the verge of ripping her head right off, i just calmly said "why is your son really difficult to handle ,or is it you just dont like him in general ?" she soon shut up hasnt said a word to me since :wink:

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You tell 'em 4Boys.

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Originally Posted by 4BOYS

"why is your son really difficult to handle ,or is it you just dont like him in general ?"

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WOOHOO, that's a good one, keeping that in mind for sure!!

I follow a blog of a mom who just had her 8th boy! She talks about her struggles with wanting a daughter as well. I really love readin git.

The Marathon Mom

Wow, KYBO, I really enjoyed reading her blog :) Her boys are sweethearts.

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. I even got a comment of the one that looks different could not have the same father as the other ones. They all have the same father!! She just looks so different.

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I get this all the time too. My older two are ID twins, and have olive skin and dark brown hair. My younger two are blond, blue-eyed, and fair. They all have the same father, but the twins have my coloring and the younger boys have my DH's coloring . But I get asked a lot of questions about why they have different coloring. People sometimes ask me if my youngest is mine of if I am babysitting him. LOL.

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one lady i know who has one of each said to me "you must be desperate for a girl" i said "whatever" hoping it would be left at that ,it wasnt , she went on to say "i would die with so many boys ,it must kill you not having at least one little girl to take the edge off, one boy is more than enough for me " i kept my cool as i was on the verge of ripping her head right off, i just calmly said "why is your son really difficult to handle ,or is it you just dont like him in general ?" she soon shut up hasnt said a word to me since

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Wow, great response! I wish I had the guts to say this! I really need to.

I think the worst comments are the ones that come from family members, sister, SIL,MIL, etc... It just hurts so bad b/c they are always there you cannot get rid of them or respond back and walk away like strangers in the street.
My sister has 3 boys and she keeps nonstop talking about how bad she wants a girl and keeps telling me yes but not as bad as you want a boy, she reminds many times that I probably have a miserable life and my husband is not happy having two girls, it just hurts, she is younger than me, and she keeps reminding me that I am getting old and running out of time I should keep having kids till that boy comes.
Last weekend she told me that she met a lady at the store who had 5 girls and the baby in the stroller was a boy so she told me " well you have three to go and then you will be super happy" WTF, I try to ignore her as much as I can but deep down I am hurting really bad. My mom keeps telling me she will never get a girl, she a crazy mom, just to make me feel better, which in fact it doesn't it hurts even more.
I just told them that we decided not to have anymore kids and to stop asking when I will get pregnant , just so they would leave me alone .
I have never had a comment about me having two girls, I get a lot of comment about how cute they are!! But I don't think ANY comment is worse than the one you get from your own family, i cry all the time after I speak to my sister :(.

I get the comments ALL the time from friends about "wow, boys are so much harder than girl"..." now you need a girl to complete your family"...and then there are the comments from my family about how they "need a girl".....
especially my sister who I hate anyway..she has 2 boys and 1 girl...Just today she said at Easter dinner " You need to have a girl, come on already, we need another girl in the family" so I told her that SHE should "consider adoption" (she is 47) if she wanted one so f'n badly....that shut her up!!!

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I have never had a comment about me having two girls, I get a lot of comment about how cute they are!! But I don't think ANY comment is worse than the one you get from your own family, i cry all the time after I speak to my sister

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I get you. The comments from family are the worst. LIke you said, you can't just walk away or forget as easy with a family member as a with a stranger. Most of my family and Dh's family have made insensitive comments at some point. I try to get over them as I usually like them all pretty much...but somehow the gender thing makes people say rude things. My SIL told me several times she "hopes she's not CURSED with all boys like me." And how she's basically terrified of ending up like me. (She has no kids yet) The last time she called my kids a curse, I went off on her finally. First time I've told a family member off for their rude comments.

What you have to realize is that the comments never stop even if you get your DG. People love to say sh-- to you. Even if you had a pigeon pair they'd still be making SOME comment, it's just because people are freaking idiots with big mouths. I get comments all the time about a) asking whether my younger boys being from a different father than my older ones or if I have a bunch of kids in the middle b) my 2 blue eyed boys being from an affair because DH and I have brown eyes and "everyone knows that's impossible" c) people assuming that my little boys are accidents when they aren't and basically calling my a liar to my face.

So far I've gotten "I hope she's not a lesbian" "You know she's just going to be a tomboy" "You'll realize girls are much harder than boys" "Oh, you're going to make SO MANY mistakes" (this was really upsetting to my husband because he's already very concerned about that.) "She's not going to be anything like you wanted or expected you know" "You just HAD to keep going for the girl, didn't you" "You're so old you'll be dead before she ever gets married and has kids" and about 20 other things. All these people were actually really HAPPY for me, they just had to say something. It just never ends.

I loved reading this thread. I've had nearly every comment mentioned! I'd like to say it's like water off a duck's back but I'd be lying. 4boys retort was brilliant! I've used something similar in response to a lady saying how "OMG one boy is enough for me!" I think I said "is he really that bad? I actually quite like my boys, they're lovely" or something along those lines. I think the worst thing is that more often than not the stupid comments do come from people who are only trying to make conversation and be funny. I rarely get any comments that people mean in a hurtful way. That makes it harder to put them in their place. Most of the time now I just shrug and say nothing. When I was PG and hormonal I would be so angry and tearful. If I get PG again I won't announce it until the last minute and I probably won't go out in public very much either!

AS , i get that too about the tomboy thing all the time "why are you bothering even trying for a girl with all those boys she will just be a tomboy anyhow " stupid on them cause i actually dont CARE if i have a girl that is a tomboy not everyone wants a "princess" , i grew up with all boys i was the only girl and i LOVED it, i never wanted a sister either i was very happy in my position as the youngest and only girl :wink:,my mum use to get stopped all the time by people telling her how beautiful i was ( not tooting my own horn but i was pretty cute lol) i had long hair ,wore dresses sometimes but i was happiest outside on my brothers moterbikes , riding skateboards and BMXs and playing in dirt with our dog ,i just wanted to do what the boys were doing ,my mum had no expectations on me and just let me be a CHILD ,and then i hit 13 ish and became girly girl and have been ever since so go figure, but i can promise you 1 thing i never got pushed around at school and i knew just how to handle boys as i got older thanks to my brothers lol
And then on the other end of the of the spectrum i have friends with all girls and 1 boy and they cop the idiotic comments also 'oh no he will grow up a sissy ,weak ,girly a sook with all of those sisters "what a load of crap, i know plenty of guys that have grown up with all girls that are nothing like that ,
people will always comment especially when you have alot of kids, they are just rude and are unhappy in their own lives

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

What you have to realize is that the comments never stop even if you get your DG. People love to say sh-- to you. Even if you had a pigeon pair they'd still be making SOME comment, it's just because people are freaking idiots with big mouths.

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ITA. Some people just HAVE to say something.

Loving reading everyone's comebacks here :) Go get 'em mamas!

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

So far I've gotten "I hope she's not a lesbian" "You know she's just going to be a tomboy" "You'll realize girls are much harder than boys" "Oh, you're going to make SO MANY mistakes" (this was really upsetting to my husband because he's already very concerned about that.) "She's not going to be anything like you wanted or expected you know" "You just HAD to keep going for the girl, didn't you" "You're so old you'll be dead before she ever gets married and has kids" and about 20 other things. All these people were actually really HAPPY for me, they just had to say something. It just never ends.

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Yes!! I can relate to this so much, Atomic. I received the 'future lesbian' and the 'girls are much harder' crap too. And from normal people I see all the time. The most annoying thing is, these are same people who would also say 'poor you, you'll be the odd gender out' and 'I bet you'll never get a girl' before dd was born :mad:. It's like some people don't want you to be too happy or too excited, whatever your family make-up is.

These comments are unreal. They are the reason I pretty much became a recluse during my 2nd pregnancy. I find when you're pregnant and hormonal and emotional, it takes almost anything easy to make you cry. So the comments are super mean.

Atomic I am in awe of the comments you've gotten. Just what the ____ is the matter with people?!!!