Moms of 3 (or more)! Need some reassurance!!

Let me just start off by saying this pregnancy has been horrible for me so far. From 5 weeks I have had constant anxiety/depression about almost everything to do with the pregnancy/baby. I've never experience this before with my 2 DS's. I know I wanted a third! It took us a while to get a BFP and we had an appt. with a fertility specialist the month we got our BFP. I cried several times about the possibility of us never being able to have another.. so I KNOW I wanted this. However, for the last 8 weeks I have cried almost daily about being pregnant and having another - again.. I think this is all hormone related.

My main issue right now is that I've read on so many sites that having 3 is so hard compared to two and that it's impossible to give your children the love they each need and deserve. Now I feel like I'm being a horrible mom to my precious two boys by adding another. Please tell me this isn't true and some people are just being crazy. I am from a family of 3 children and never felt unloved or left out - and my older brother is actually severely mentally handicapped from a car accident as a baby, so he required more attention than the average child. My husband is super hands on and is his own boss so his hours are very flexible, and he's always around. It's not like I'll be doing it all on my own or even close so deep down I know these things aren't true but I need you ladies to help me feel better. I want to get excited about the pregnancy as it was something we didn't think was going to happen again for us!

Sorry for my long rant, I can't exactly tell my friends and family how I'm feeling!

I have an 8 week old, 3.5 year old, and 5.5 year old and I can say that having three for me is really no different than having 2. I love it!! The hardest part for me is getting them all in and out of the car, but now I have it down to a science and it is no problem. There is def. more planning and more time needed to get out the door, but that is expected.

I did have a hard time with breastfeeding and being stuck to sitting down for 30 min or more, but I started pumping and that for me has been so much easier. My DH is also very involved so that helps so much. My 3.5 year old is very needy and can be very whiney, but having the baby has been good for him b/c he no longer has a choice and has to be patient and I have learned to ignore the crying and whining.

I am sorry you have had such a hard time with your pregnancy. I have always felt being pregnant is so much harder than taking care of baby (although I have never had one with colic).

Well, my family is weird because my first two children are so much older and then I have the three little ones. Adding my DD to the mix really didn't change much of anything - I have a bit less time to do random things for me, but I still find I have enough time to work, do stuff with the kids (maybe not as much as I would like in an ideal world but "enough"), make meals and run errands and so on.

I will admit that the housework does kind of suffer and I am not able to do as much for friends and family as I once did. But I think that's largely temporary.

I found my jump to three very easy but my other two kids were older and even tho ds2 is severely autistic DH is the one who takes care of hmwhen he gets home work and when he is at work he is very good for me and very independent

I think it all depends on the age of your other kids..l obviously if you have a toddler it's going to be rough to start... Which is what I imagine for myself when this baby gets here since ds3 is the biggest mommies boy ever and pretty much hates everyone but me and DH so I won't be able to get help with him.... Mental preparation will be very important for you... When I was preg with ds3 I imagined everyday to be terrible with ds2 but when the baby got here things were way better than I prepared myself and therefore made the really bad moments not even feel that bad

Sounds like you have a really good DH too! Unlike me mine is absolutley useless He does nothing... He helps with ds2 but that's it! I have to do everything else... I had a hard time bonding with this preg until I found out what he was and I feel like the swaying was responsible for that and all the anxiety...

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Originally Posted by Wanting-a-girl

I found my jump to three very easy but my other two kids were older and even tho ds2 is severely autistic DH is the one who takes care of hmwhen he gets home work and when he is at work he is very good for me and very independent

I think it all depends on the age of your other kids..l obviously if you have a toddler it's going to be rough to start... Which is what I imagine for myself when this baby gets here since ds3 is the biggest mommies boy ever and pretty much hates everyone but me and DH so I won't be able to get help with him.... Mental preparation will be very important for you... When I was preg with ds3 I imagined everyday to be terrible with ds2 but when the baby got here things were way better than I prepared myself and therefore made the really bad moments not even feel that bad

Sounds like you have a really good DH too! Unlike me mine is absolutley useless He does nothing... He helps with ds2 but that's it! I have to do everything else... I had a hard time bonding with this preg until I found out what he was and I feel like the swaying was responsible for that and all the anxiety...

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Haha, lucky for me (not!) I naturally over exaggerate everything in my head so it's usually never as bad as what I envisioned. My other two are definitely younger 4 & 2, however DS1 starts full day kindergarten in September. I was initially so hesitant about it being full day before I was pregnant (where I live a year or so ago all the programs changed from half to full day) but he's such a busy child and needs constant stimulation so I think it'll definitely benefit him for sure to be there when I'm more busy with a newborn. I definitely found going from 1-2 a really bug adjustment, mainly because DS1 is not independent at all so he had a really rough go which made for one unhappy house, so I'm hoping it's not as bad for us going 2-3

I found two to three not much different. Life is hectic but then life is hectic with two little ones. I found going from one to two much harder (in terms of Having to share your attention) By the third my house was already madness and I was used to splitting my attention between them. I'm interested to see what going from three to four will be like!!

Lol I was terrified when ds2 started school but I was pregnant and got used to the idea quite fast! And once you see that they are happy being at school it's easier on u... I swear them going to school is much harder on you lol

When I had ds3 my older ones would have been basically 7 and 5

Well your like me lol I always think worst case scenario and i thnk it does benifit In the long run ;)

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Originally Posted by 3boys

I found two to three not much different. Life is hectic but then life is hectic with two little ones. I found going from one to two much harder (in terms of Having to share your attention) By the third my house was already madness and I was used to splitting my attention between them. I'm interested to see what going from three to four will be like!!

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This is what I feel. I already feel with two like life is chaotic and that adding another will add a bit more work for sure, but we already revolve our life around our kids schedule as is! I've heard lots of people say they don't even slightly notice 4, some say 4 is easier than 3!?! - not totally sure how that makes sense lol! Like I've heard people say, 1 is 1, 2 is 20... they're all just numbers after 2! I'm really hoping that's the case

I didn't find going up in children that much different after the second one. Yes my house got messy, yes i may not have as much time to go out as we used to. BUT I think once they get to an age that they can be left alone, we will still be able to have that date night (dh and I). We currently have 4 kids ages 7,4,3, and 1 with 1 one the way. This last one was not planned (had a tubal done after the last baby). So I am worried if we will be able to handle going from 4 to 5...eek!!