Heartbroken. Pregnant with 3rd boy after 3 years of hoping and working hard.:(

My husband finally agreed to have another baby this year. I was planning to sway this spring. THEN I got pregnant in October doing the rhythm method. Either I wasn't paying close attention to my cycle or I ovulated really really early. My best guess is I ovulated early. I was at my lowest weight and having migraines. I have switched to a girl friendly diet for the past 2 years. I was on sudafed and Benadryl. I was certain given the circumstances it was a girl. On the morning of my ultrasound I dreamed it was a boy. I woke up crying. Then the ultrasound confirmed boy. He is most definitely a boy. My poor husband is trying to be supportive but he doesn't get it. He doesn't want anymore. I'm struggling to hold on the hope. I am already in love with this precious baby boy but I cannot let go of my dreams of a daughter. I just can't. I want to write my husband and letter explaining how I feel but not putting pressure on him. I was so sure I could sway girl. I'm still in shock. I'm struggling to function and don't want to face work, friends and all the comments. Every single one of my siblings and inlaws have a girl. I feel left out and stupid. I have no one I can trust to discuss this with who would really understand and not take me the wrong way. I feel so dumb for hoping all these years.

hi, so sorry your feeling this way ! i know exactly how you feel i now have three boys who i absolutely adore but was heart broken hearing it was another boy at his scan not because i didnt want him but because we were stopping at three and i felt almost like i was grieving the little girl i would never have even though i loved the little boy in my tummy! he is now 8 months and the most wonderful baby! i spoke to my husband about how i was feeling and he understood how i felt he realised he would feel like he was missing out on that father son bond if they were all girls and he has agreed to having another one but we are going to do pgd later this year to make sure if we are successful it is a girl!! maybe if you explain everything and ask him to put himself in your shoes and tell him its one of your life dreams he might come around to having another one? as soon as we agreed to have another one once the baby was over one i was able to fully enjoy the rest of my pregnancy and baby boy! congratulations on your beautiful boy , hope this helps xxx

I"m so sorry it didn't go your way. There is something about that 3rd boy that is really hard to take IMO, but they are also very very special.

Even the best sways produce opposites and this little guy just really wanted you to be his mommy. ((((hugs))))

Thank you ladies, it's such a comfort to know I can talk openly and honestly and there are wonderful people on this site. Thank you so much atomic. The third boy is so hard. Much much harder than I thought it would be. My husband found me Teary eyed after I made this post and we had a good talk. I poured out my heart if how I love this baby but I am grieving the dream of a daughter. I can't ask of him to have another right now. But he knows how I feel. He started to tear up too. In. The past he has been cold when I've told him my dreams of a daughter but now I understand that he is afraid he won't be able to be a good day of several kids and he wants so much to provide a good life for us. We're in the midst of fixing up our home, a job change for him, and financial stress. I just can't ask him to commit to one more but again he knows my heart. He knows I still want a daughter. So I will hold on to hope. I am not giving it up. I'm going to work through the shock and grief, treasure this pregnancy and my brand new baby boy. I've always wanted 4 or more kids. Having another boy isn't what I planned but working through my grief and being completely honest with him and him being supportive is healing. Jo Doc I wish the very best for you and your upcoming sway! Atomic I am still going to learn all I can for when its time to try again. In spite of it all I know I am blessed. I have three healthy boys. I have my husband and family and a lovely home. I have peace. I know there will be good days and bad days but I know I will come out stronger!

glad you had a good chat with your hubby i bet even doing that made you feel a bit better! sounds like you have an understanding husband who might suprise you and want to try again when the time is right . each day will get better and that little guy will steal your heart just like mine did! x

I feel so bad for you, in this moment in time I know there are no comforting words that will fill that hole and I know how much wanted to hear its a girl....believe me! I lost my first girl and then had 3 boys and sobbed my eyes out when I heard the last was a boy. I know you love your little boy more than anything but I also know the hole you want to fill but your little man will fill your hole just as much as any girl and you wouldn't want to change him for the world. Life takes so many twists and turns and you said your both going through a stressful period in your life....but when you've ridden through it and the sleepless nights and late night feeds are a distant memory your husband will probably change his mind. Don't give up hope on your little lady...there is always time xxxxx

Sorry, posted on the wrong thread.

Hi, I totally understand your feelings. This was me 8 weeks ago. I'm pregnant with boy no 3 and was devastated. Not the boy I was carrying because I love him already but for the girl I wasnt. I PROMISE you it gets easier and now I cannot wait to meet him.

Like Jo Doc my hubby has now (wasn't 8 weeks ago) seen the pain I was in and realised what it meant to me and has agreed not just to have another, but to go for PGD. I think this has massively helped me move on and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy. Doesn't stop me wanting to punch people who still say things to me like oh what a shame this isn't a girl etc. my other boys are so excited and talk to the baby in my tummy every day and they tell him they love him, it just melts my heart, how could I not want him?!

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Originally Posted by radicalhope

Thank you ladies, it's such a comfort to know I can talk openly and honestly and there are wonderful people on this site. Thank you so much atomic. The third boy is so hard. Much much harder than I thought it would be. My husband found me Teary eyed after I made this post and we had a good talk. I poured out my heart if how I love this baby but I am grieving the dream of a daughter. I can't ask of him to have another right now. But he knows how I feel. He started to tear up too. In. The past he has been cold when I've told him my dreams of a daughter but now I understand that he is afraid he won't be able to be a good day of several kids and he wants so much to provide a good life for us. We're in the midst of fixing up our home, a job change for him, and financial stress. I just can't ask him to commit to one more but again he knows my heart. He knows I still want a daughter. So I will hold on to hope. I am not giving it up. I'm going to work through the shock and grief, treasure this pregnancy and my brand new baby boy. I've always wanted 4 or more kids. Having another boy isn't what I planned but working through my grief and being completely honest with him and him being supportive is healing. Jo Doc I wish the very best for you and your upcoming sway! Atomic I am still going to learn all I can for when its time to try again. In spite of it all I know I am blessed. I have three healthy boys. I have my husband and family and a lovely home. I have peace. I know there will be good days and bad days but I know I will come out stronger!

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I m hoping i ll get over the gd soon .... we r having baby boy no.2... but i cant go through this again... i m so tired of seing my hopes falling apart... so sad to have put my unborn son all through these feelings i m having... its not that i dont want him... i just wanted that girl now, i needed her and then i would so much enjoy having him..... but now i cant enjoy my pregnancy...

It is so hard, it really is. Something i found that helped me after finding out he was another boy were the clothes! I completely disregarded the girl clothes, just walked right past them, and went straight to the boys clothes and chose some absolutely gorgeous boy clothes. The excitement of buying those gorgeous tiny clothes really helped. I blanked everything girly, even at times baby girls (thankfully we don't really have many in the family), and completely focused everything on preparing for this upcoming baby. It helped, it truly did, and because of that i have never really felt true gender disappointment, just gender desire. I really hope you can get through this <3