Dealing with judgements and those who disapprove.....
I've just started on this journey.
I had a hugely supportive OBGYN when having my second son who really encouraged me to not feel guilty and go for what I felt was best from my family.
A lot of people tell me that fate decides and I can't mess with that but he had a valid point that if that was widely believed you could argue that IVF is messing with fate. I understand those who are against it, those that see me as greedy or selfish.
Are you telling anyone? Its such a big process to go through solo but the judgement is really affecting me despite my determination to continue the process of course.
Yesterday I was even told that I needed see a psychologist to understand my personal issues around gender preference. I personally believe that gender preference is wide spread a lot of families openly share that they would like one sex or another and some even have more kids than planned just to get what they want....
I do dream for a girl but I also don't have any preconceived notions or who or what I want her to be. No perfect mould for her to fit and sit like a pretty princess in pink.
I also love my boys to bits and yes I would have more of them I just have a limit financially on what we as a family can afford.
So yesterday I found out that my WONDERFUL SUPPORTIVE obgyn has resigned leaving me feeling a little alone and isolated in trying to get my journey back on track without him...as I was planning to go the Hawaii rather than Dr Potter. I read on here about getting a supportive GP to maybe write referrals for tests and so braved a visit to my local GP today...BIG MISTAKE....
He was horrified and went on to tell me that he would never "pay" to pick a gender in his family (apart from the fact he already has one of each). He also went on to say in his professional opinion (with nothing to back up his claims) that he felt while practising that he has seen the health of a child is worse when they are through IVF - from what he's seen. And why would I essentially jepodize the health of my child to choose it's gender.
I'm feeling battered and judged and I guess I just need 1. Support and 2. advice on how you are done this solo or have you shared?
Dealing with judgements and those who disapprove.....
I am pregnant through HT and I won't be announcing it on Facebook or at work until I have reached the point where I could have a gender scan.
I don't want to explain to people whose first question will be about the gender (I have 4 boys) that we went HT because people can be so judgemental. My mum (who is super supportive and looked after my kids both times) says how am I going to lie when they say 'aren't you lucky'. I say it won't be a lie, I'm lucky that HT worked for me and that I have the money to afford it. So while I'm not ashamed, I still have to hide the truth.
I also did not tell my GP once I got pregnant why we had IVF, just that we had aCGH testing