"One BFN? I am obviously infertile. Must stop swaying pink and boost fertility!
I have several threads on this that illustrate this concept better than an essay ever could. So I'll link em here as they come up. (or if you lovely ladies know of one, please post below!)
Short version - it takes fully fertile couples who are NOT swaying pink and doing everything in their power to get pregnant, an average of 3-6 months to get a BFP. One BFN or even two or three, while swaying pink, is NOT a cause for alarm. Don't let it mess with your head and don't toss swaying out the window in a panic for no reason.
The majority of pink swayers start off doing a very (overly, even) strict sway. That's fine. But go into that EXPECTING to get a BFN that first month and then drop sway tactics starting with the least effective/cuts odds of conception the most. If you really can't decide what to drop first, then flip a coin or drop whatever you find personally the most annoying to you or DH.
DO NOT decide that "it's obviously the number of attempts" and start adding attempts FIRST. It is NOT one attempt that is preventing conception. Men shoot out tens and even hundreds of millions of sperm in one shot. It's enough to impregnate every woman on this site and a few more besides. Do NOT start adding attempts until you have dropped frequency patterns (have hubby do regular release every 2-4 days instead), timing, douches, jellies, herbs (including licorice and peppermint tea for DH), TBM, antihistamines, immediate J and D, hot bath and tighty whiteys for DH, and above all else SHALLOW RELEASE. Shallow release has never been proven to help sway at all and it really cuts odds of conception. I have seen several couples for whom we had done literally everything within our power to boost odds of conception only to find out that they'd been doing shallow release the whole time!! Drop shallow release LONG before you start swaying blue in order to get pregnant!! If you prefer doing every 4 day method to one attempt, that is ok, but do not add more attempts than that until you have dropped all other sway tactics other than diet, exercise, OLE/soymilk for DH, and Clomid/Femara if you can get some.
DO NOT start out on lower limits of LE Diet and think you're going to get pregnant the first month out because you always have in the past (especially if you are tall, exercising, or breastfeeding). It's probably not going to happen and you set yourself up for a panic situation if you are wasting away to nothing and get BFN's when you need to be pregnant before ovulation stops. It's fine to start off eating MORE than you think you'll need in the long term and then reduce. Always start off eating more than you think you're going to need to, and you can cut back over time. Never eat less than the lower limits of LE Diet, period. 1200-1500 cals is minimum on LE Diet and that is only in a very small minority of women who are very petite, only eat like 1800 cals a day normally and have gotten boys doing that, who have severe PCOS, or have more than 30-50 lbs to lose. The vast majority of all of you should be eating 1500-1800 cals a day and more like 1800-2000 for a good chunk of you (those who are tall, breastfeeding, and exercising a lot, in addition to others who lose weight too rapidly at 1500-1800 cals a day) Many more people should be eating 1800-2000 than eating 1200-1500!!
AFTER you have dropped all sway tactics that are not getting better than neutral results for us (keeping LE Diet plus fiber, alcohol, and coffee; one attempt at positive OPK or every 4 days, plus OLE and soymilk for DH if you want) then and only then, increase number of attempts. If you were doing one attempt at pos OPK, go to every 4 days. If you were doing every 4 days, go to every 4 days plus one additional attempt at positive OPK OR every 3 days (do not ever do every 3 days plus one). If, at that point, you have given it a GOOD try at that number of attempts (by which I mean, you have NOT gone from doing all possible sway tactics for several months, to e4d plus one and given that only one month. You need to keep in mind that if you were doing a really strict sway, those months do not really count in terms of TTC. Some people do such strict sways that they may as well take a birth control pill. You haven't given it a try if you only give it ONE month without strict sway tactics. If you absolutely have to add attempts at this point, go to SMEP. Sperm Meets Egg Plan
DO NOT mess around trying to find some magic pattern of BD that will boost fertility and still sway pink. It does not exist. Do not try to DTD every day or every other day. These are not good methods for ANYONE TTC, pink or blue. For pink swayers, they may inadvertently sway blue, for blue swayers, they may inadvertently sway pink and do not boost odds of conception anyway (and while this is confusing, it's because of the "fertility factor" - couples who have lots of boys may be more fertile than couples with lots of girls and thus their bodies respond differently to BD patterns...men who have very high sperm counts can just shake off things like this level of release, or possibly be encouraged to make even more sperm, while men with lower ones will be totally depleted by the same BD frequency, and women who make lots of EWCM and have a large fertile window will be able to keep swimmers alive for much longer than women who do not - much more thorough explanation in this thread http://genderdreaming.com/forum/tryi...frequency.html) When you're ready to get pregnant, pink swayers, do SMEP.
If you've tried SMEP and are still not getting pregnant after 3 months, then consider adding in things like guanefesin or Preseed at that point.
