Heat on sperm and some personal ranting
Thought I would post this as well as update since some of you had asked to be kept up to date on my story since not all of you can access the HT forums.
Cliffnotes: DH was recommended to see a urologist after our first IVF cycle showed a sperm problem. He also did a sperm fragmentation test. We found abnormal results on the latter, and DH came home saying they found a varicocele but "wanted to wait for the sperm results." They got those, immediately recommend an ultrasound.
Well yesterday we met with the doctor following the ultrasound. DH does not have a varicocele. The urologist actually is a huge proponent of fixing varicoceles for sperm health, which is fortunate since it's still controversial to fix.
But it just turns out that DH apparently misunderstood his first appointment and does not have a varicocele. However, the urologist said, "I already told your husband I think it's the high heat he works around." DH is an engineer who works at extreme cold and extreme hot temperatures occasionally to semi-frequently. Urologist also said he believes it's a full 6 months for sperm health to return to normal, much more than the 72 day life cycle. Which would put us just now at maybe 7-8 months post that awful fever DH had back in August.
I also didn't realize exactly how hot DH worked at occasionally. He had told me it was 100F. The urologist said that DH had told him 65C... or 130-140F. And DH was doing it pretty regularly last summer and fall. As recently as November/December.
I was flabbergasted. "The sperm count? The oxidative stress?" The urologist just said, "I really think it's the heat. We have a lot of evidence backing up how much damage heat can do to sperm. It's WHY varicoceles are bad, because of the heat they cause."
We were referred on to an even more specialized urologist because trying to do anymore than we have (icing, supplements, lifestyle changes) is beyond his paygrade, he said. We will probably do another semen analysis, but the next appointment for this new urologist isn't until May 29.
DH sort of had a melt down and said he is done trying to do things to correct his sperm, would rather return to biking/running, is just not as invested in this as I am. Said, "We should look back at YOU for these losses" in such a way that even the urologist looked pretty appalled. And as we know -- I've been cleaned out and prodded and tested to oblivion. Two IVF cycles showed excellent embryos until Day 3/4, when sperm DNA takes over, and our REs and embryologists keep insisting it's either "bad luck" or a sperm issue that "we're not equipped to compensate for yet." DH having abnormal sperm markers associated with loss was about all we have to go on... so I guess we can only hope that the supplements, icing and lifestyle choices have been enough while his sperm's been replenishing since we're outside of the 6 month window.
But I'm feeling more and more like this really might be a fool's errand with my husband. It would be different if he was also supportive and understanding. But this is a man who was against IVF because "at least D&Cs are covered by insurance." And who has told me he can't stand being around me because of how sad I am all the time. He's literally asked if I could just fake smile around him because he's so miserable when I am sad. I don't cry or mope around the house. I've just lost my spirit along with all of these babies -- I still work, I cook, I clean, we have sex. I just don't have my spirit anymore. And he'd rather I hide my grief than help me cope with it.
He doesn't even refer to them as "our losses" -- he says they are my losses.
I'm at a loss. But thought I would update for those who have missed my sharing on FB and in the HT forums here. And to maybe give a word of warning to the pink swayers on how bad heat can really be for sperm :(