Don't know if we should try tonight or not

Hi, I'm newish to this forum. Been reading tons from you guys and it's all been very helpful. This is my first time posting so sorry if this isn't the right spot and I don't know all the abbreviations.

Basically I've been following the diet (mostly) not having any acidic forming foods, taking magnesium, calcium, folic acid (a separate pill and elivit) and cranberry. Keeping calories down and trying to exercise as much as possible.
My cycle isn't 100% the same every month. Maybe because I'm breast feeding DS2. So I've been using clear blue digital ovulation tests (I'm in new Zealand and that's all I could find at my supermarket and pharmacy)

I thought I was going to ovulate by tomorrow but still not getting a smiley on the test. Today I've had a creamy discharge but still no sign of a surge.
We have been doing the deed every day the past few days and hubby isn't feeling up to it tonight. Would last night be close enough if the surge is probably only happening tomorrow? Or maybe I'm understanding the test wrong.... mine doesn't seem to do the flashing smiley. It goes from no smiley to smiley face. So maybe by the time I see the smiley face it is too late?
(P.s I know that doing it too often is actually not great for swaying pink. Though I think for my boys we didn't do it that much but they were definitely concieved on ovulation and my diet is naturally pretty boy based) though might try that differently next month. Just find it hard to get the day right if my cycle is sometimes early sometimes late.

Sorry for the essay [emoji181]
Thanks

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Well, there are some things here we really don't recommend for pink (acidic foods, taking cranberry in particular) but that's all at your discretion.

My real concern here is you saying you've been having sex every day. We have overwhelming results for BLUE with BD 3 times in the fertile window and I do not ever recommend the "BD daily thru O or to cutoff" method for pink. I have a full explanation of why that is in this thread. https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gen...nk-lately.html It is SUPER COMMON for your husband to not be able to, or willing to BD that often. But again this is at your discretion.

What I would ~personally~ have you do for now is stop BD, keep testing, and wait for your OPK to go to either flashy or solid smiley. If you still want to try for cutoff, you can hope you get flashy this month (it's totally possible to have some months going straight to solid, and others where you will have the flashy) and BD the second flashy smiley. OR if you go straight to positive/solid you can have an attempt that day. It is still a cutoff. You get that solid smiley 1-2 days before ovulation so if you BD that day it is not going to be on O Day.

(all this is beside the point of course if your test doesn't even have a flashy! this is just in case it does and we are missing it somehow, which happens.)

Having an irregular cycle does making timing harder. If you really feel you must do timing, and your OPK really are the kind that do not have the flashy, you're going to need to get a different brand. Either the ones that do have a flashy, or the ones that are the sticks you figure out yourself - in that case you can try to time BD to fall on a day that is dark, but not yet positive. It's not my fave method but it is ok provided you have only one attempt! What you're doing right now is a bad combination of swaying blue from too many attempts, stressful in that control freaky way that can sway blue anyway, cutting odds of conception hugely from making DH's sperm count possibly low, and completely annoying DH too (the first rule of swaying is "if daddy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" and men HAVE refused to sway or even to TTC at all when the entire thing gets too stressful. All for something that doesn't work (timing) and may even sway blue by having too many attempts anyway. Good luck and please let me know if you have any more questions, I know this stuff is confusing.

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Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush

Well, there are some things here we really don't recommend for pink (acidic foods, taking cranberry in particular) but that's all at your discretion.

My real concern here is you saying you've been having sex every day. We have overwhelming results for BLUE with BD 3 times in the fertile window and I do not ever recommend the "BD daily thru O or to cutoff" method for pink. I have a full explanation of why that is in this thread. https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gen...nk-lately.html It is SUPER COMMON for your husband to not be able to, or willing to BD that often. But again this is at your discretion.

What I would ~personally~ have you do for now is stop BD, keep testing, and wait for your OPK to go to either flashy or solid smiley. If you still want to try for cutoff, you can hope you get flashy this month (it's totally possible to have some months going straight to solid, and others where you will have the flashy) and BD the second flashy smiley. OR if you go straight to positive/solid you can have an attempt that day. It is still a cutoff. You get that solid smiley 1-2 days before ovulation so if you BD that day it is not going to be on O Day.

(all this is beside the point of course if your test doesn't even have a flashy! this is just in case it does and we are missing it somehow, which happens.)

Having an irregular cycle does making timing harder. If you really feel you must do timing, and your OPK really are the kind that do not have the flashy, you're going to need to get a different brand. Either the ones that do have a flashy, or the ones that are the sticks you figure out yourself - in that case you can try to time BD to fall on a day that is dark, but not yet positive. It's not my fave method but it is ok provided you have only one attempt! What you're doing right now is a bad combination of swaying blue from too many attempts, stressful in that control freaky way that can sway blue anyway, cutting odds of conception hugely from making DH's sperm count possibly low, and completely annoying DH too (the first rule of swaying is "if daddy ain't happy, ain't nobody happy" and men HAVE refused to sway or even to TTC at all when the entire thing gets too stressful. All for something that doesn't work (timing) and may even sway blue by having too many attempts anyway. Good luck and please let me know if you have any more questions, I know this stuff is confusing.

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Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. Ok next month I'll make sure not to try so often.
Could I ask why? It just makes sense in my head if the y sperm don't live long and x does. Having a x from day 6-3 prior to O would up chances of one getting through? Obviously I'll go with what you say, I just like to know the theory behind it.

I'm not eating acidic food. Acidic forming food. Like basically all I'm eating is dairy, green leafy veges, corn, beans and a little bit of chicken or fish. Skipping breakfast, and even though I've seen people drinking coffee on here I'm leaving it out because I have always had a couple cups a day and definitely was drinking it when I concieved my boys.

Could I also ask if the cranberry is a no go because you find it sways blue or other reasons? I read on another thread that you said it has unwanted side effects but couldn't find what those were?
Thanks so much again!

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The problem is that X sperm does not live longer than Y sperm and it's been 100% proven. We even know the mistake Dr. Shettles made in his theory and it's been totally debunked. You can read more about that here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/sway...m-y-sperm.html and here http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gend...le-timing.html

Plus, for reasons we can only guess at, one attempt has been a strong pink sway. By having lots of BD in a row, you are trading something that doesn't work and has been debunked (X sperm does NOT live longer than Y, and timing has been debunked too) for something that does (one attempt). It's a bad trade that hurts your sway. If you end up ovulating early, you even end up not even having that cutoff so then you don't even end up achieving the things you wanted for your sway. It is of course always up to you, just want to let you know about our results so you can make an informed decision.

I said "acidic food" as a shorthand for "acid forming food". I got what you were saying, just not an approach we focus on. The good thing is the "acid" diet stuff is pretty similar just by coincidence to much of the LE Diet so either way it would sway pink, just be sure you're getting enough food. Sometimes if you aren't using the limits of the LE Diet people end up eating way too little food and messing up ovulation.

Coffee is at your discretion of course! We get good results with it but of course you can get a girl without it.

Our results show cranberry is doing absolutely nothing to help sway. Same number of people get girls with and without it, and the side effects are massive - people were experiencing heavy bleeding/bruising, terrible periods, and possibly miscarriage. It can also cause bleeding in the brain, stomach, and make you more likely to die in an accident or emergency because your blood will not clot normally. The way you have to come off cranberry - since it can cause miscarriage - is stopping it suddenly at ovulation. This means your blood goes from too thin (since it's a strong blood thinner) to too thick (since your body makes clotting factors to counter the blood thinning effects) and that can not only prevent successful implantation but could also make it more likely that you develop blood clots that could cause heart attack, stroke, or could harm a developing pregnancy. Are these things super common? No, but since it doesn't work anyway I just don't see that it's worth taking the risk. So use your best judgement on that - I prefer to avoid taking unnecessary risks for things that don't work but it's up to you to decide. :)