Did I blow it? Lost, preg, regained, miscarried, what do I do now?

Please help! Time sensitive*

Dear Atomic,



If you don't have time to answer, I understand. But I have had a hard time finding your answer to my predicament in the older posts. I think it's a unique situation and people (me especially) would benefit from reading your response and expertise.



My problem is that I have just turned 33 years old and my 41 year old husband and I want to TTC a girl (we only want two kids). I started losing weight on a 1700 cal diet and 5-6 hours of exercise per week.


In March I was 122 pounds and then I went down to 111lbs in June. I am 5 feet, 7 inches so I was underweight when I tried my attempt on June 9th (I never got a positive OPK that cycle at that time, but the tests have since registered LH hormone...but were not registering at the time).


Right after our 1 attempt in June, I flew to Canada to visit my family for two weeks and I pigged out on all the stuff I was missing (I live in Italy). I honestly could feel something happening and I felt my period coming on a week early and it never came. I could feel my period coming when it was due and it never came! I have never been late in my life, so this was incredible. I never got a positive pregnancy test, but I never had a period for 18 days!!! I was convinced I was pregnant and I booked a gyno appointment and scan, convinced I was having a baby and that the hormones were just undetectable (I took over 7 pregnancy tests and got BFN). I skipped a period for June thinking "this is it".



I really believed I was pregnant because I got the white discharge on my period days and it was crumbly textured. I never have experienced anything like that in my life and I also had "fluffy" boobs (in retrospect it might have been my body rebounding and just normal weight gain).


A few days ago, I started spotting...that turned into heavy bleeding and now I believe it's a full blown period (due to acne I am now experiencing).


So I have to start from square one and I am so dejected.


I am SO MAD I BLEW THE DIET! After 3 months on the diet, I went crazy from June 10th to July 14th. I am now BACK at my pre-pregnancy weight (122 pounds). I am afraid that I rebounded too quickly and that reset my body and made it feel like it was good times again and I am now in gaining maternal condition.


Looking back I am wondering whether I just messed up my cycles or whether I really was pregnant! I definitely ate enough to sustain the pregnancy as you can tell from my ten pound rebound!


What do I do? My family is coming to visit in August and then I go back to Canada in a month. This means that there is so much diet sabotaging and family pressure to eat and there will be lots of parties and gatherings. I will be back with my husband in late September and we might not be able to try until October for the fertile window!

Options:
A) Start exercising like crazy and do dieting until I get a positive OPK and then attempt in less than 12 days?
B) Re-start the diet and then wait until August?
C) Re-start the diet and lose less weight because my period might have been delayed and I was never pregnant to begin with and try in October?


I am so incredibly sad about all of this and I feel so stupid I lost so much weight just to sabotage myself and probably swayed Blue now. Please help!

I should say that we are both 90% vegetarian, hubby is older (41) and he's skinny and rides a bike 45min a day. I am just afraid I gained everything back in a month and shopped exercising completely.

Thank you!

--------------------------------

Sorry, this was copied from an email!!! I can obviously post now thanks to Jane!

Sorry! I can post now! Thanks Jane!

What most likely happened was that your ovulation was delayed when your weight dropped too low. It's very unlikely that you were pregnant given the pregnancy tests being negative. (while it can happen on occasion that a person gets a negative pregnancy test but is actually pregnant, I only know of 2 people in 10+ years that this has happened to and they both only took one test and not 7! :)) I suspect that when you were experiencing the feelings like your period was coming, you were actually ovulating and having O pain or your body was trying to ovulate but didn't.

You're not alone though, tons of people have done this same thing exactly (this is why I urge everyone to stay on diet till BFP). It's super common and you shouldn't beat yourself up for it at all, there was no way for you to know. What I want you to do is just regroup and then decide what is best for your family - is it best to try now, or in August, Sept, Oct??? I mean, if you will be separated from your husband for part of that time it makes some sense to try sooner since you may not be able to when you're apart!

Unfortunately my crystal ball is in the shop and I can't know what month will be best for you. For all we know, it may be that this was God/the universe's way of helping you to get a girl. It may have been just what needed to happen, and all we need to do now is try. BUT, you have to ask yourself if you'll live 1000 lifetimes of regret if you try this month and then get a boy...will you always think back and say "if only, if only?" If so, probably better to wait. But do keep in mind that for all we know this may be the exactly perfect month to try.

I have a helpful essay on what to do during times when you have company or are on vacation here: https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gen...blue-pink.html

Dear Atomic,

I am BACK and pregnant. I am thinking it's a baby girl, too based on 14 week potty shot.

After I lost my period in June 2018, I got it back late July and then it was irregular for a bit. I panicked and started eating more normally and almost dropped exercise completely to get my period back. It came back and October 2018, we struck gold with digital ovulation tests and we had sex one time 5 hours after I measured my first smiley. I got the smiley at 12:30pm and had sex at 8:00pm. Legs up and pelvis over my head for one hour. Ovulated and felt it from the left side at 7pm the next night. I had flutters (a feeling of going downhill on a roller coaster) about a week later and knew I was pregnant.

Here is my potty shot from 14 week gender scan. The doctor says 70% certainty it is a girl.

Thank you, Atomic. I will be back to update you on the 20 week scan for gender confirmation.

[If anyone has an opinion, please tell me if yours differs from the doctor.

I don't trust potty shots at this gestation really but it does look girly. FXFXFX

Just to clarify for anyone reading this thread, you can't feel ovulation reliably. I don't want anyone worrying or stressing over this because we've seen it be untrue so many times. EVen if it works for some people some of the time it's not reliable for the population as a whole.

Again good luck and pink dust Natatsha! Huge congrats!

Thank you, Atomic:crawl:

IT'S A GIRL! Atomic, thank you!!!! She's due July 19th. I will post my sway. XOXOOXXOOXOXOXOOXO

IT'S A GIRL! CONFIRMED AT 21 weeks!

I posted my sway in the known outcomes...but I don't know how to link the sway :)