16 week loss.. ivf wrong gender.
I'm so heart broken and not sure how to cope with my loss. We did IVF with pgs to get our little girl. I have Adenomyosis but I'm not sure if it contributed to our loss. My first transfer was a chemical. My second transfer was successful. This is going to sound crazy but from the beginning of the pregnancy I felt like this baby wouldn't come home alive. I remember telling my hubby about 10 weeks that I was having issues being excited because of this overwhelming feeling. I got diagnosed with a large SCH at 8 weeks. Had very heavy bleeding at 12 weeks where part of the plecenta started detaching. At 15 weeks I found out I had previa but it should go away and my sch was pretty much gone! We did a private ultrasound to confirm it was a girl. He couldn't see between the legs so went off the skull and said girl.. I was skeptical I wanted a potty shot lol I still was having issues getting excited and I felt sooo guilty. I thought once I made it to viability I could finally breath a sigh of relief.
I had a strong feeling the baby would come early. We were hoping to making it to viability at 23 weeks. I felt so strongly the baby would make it to viability! At 16 weeks I felt weird. Super nauseous (not uncommon) but this weird pressure like something was trying to come out and contractions. I went to the restroom expecting blood but there was nothing. The next day I woke up super sick. I hadn't felt the baby move in 2 days so I decided to check with my doppler. I couldn't find the heart beat. Ultrasound confirmed no hb. 😭
I delivered my baby at the hospital the next day. We were shocked to find out it was a baby boy! No matter the gender I still wanted this baby sooooo bad. Idk how to cope with his loss. Idk if my earlier feelings of the pregnancy not being viable is instinct or not. I feel sooo guilty I couldn't shake the feeling and be excited for the pregnancy. What if my stress and feeling like the baby wouldn't come home with me killed my baby!? We think the plecenta tearing away caused the baby to not get enough nutrients and he passed away. 💔