Help TTC GIRL

Hello
I have been doing tons of research and there are some things Im confused about. Hoping to TTC in February for a girl. My cycles are irregular and long although i have been tracking for several months. Sometimes 30-34 day cycles and I never know really understand when I ovulate. Im doing Basel body temperature but i find it difficult as I often get disturbed during the night with my little ones. Should it be at the same time every morning? And what happens if i wake up say 2 hours beforehand? So basically I dont feel I can relay on that method. I do opks and again struggle to tell what is positive. I thought that when you see lots of CM you are about to ovulate? But I have lots the week before I get anything like a positive opk. And having lots of CM is boy territory right? So I would be reluctant to BD then. I can not understand at all when we should BD. Most things I read say lots of BD from end of AF to 2- 3 days before ovulation. But if sperm can live for 5-6 days, should we be doing it much further away from ovulation like 5-6 days before ovulation and hope that the weaker Y sperm die off. 2-3 days seems so close when the Y sperm could be still all in there waiting for the egg. Is frequent release by my DH advised before attempt? should we BD lots after AF? Or once? I also have the clear blue fertility monitor and I have had a week of high fertility then today got my peak fertility which I think means I am due to ovulate. (my new toy so still working it out) But when should I calculate back from in order to get the perfect attempt day? Because ovulation could be today tomorrow or the day after? Is that right? Help!!! so confused with all of this. Lastly PH!! I got those strips but every time I test my CM it stays exactly the same. No change on the colour strip. I am doing the diet, supplements, negative ions. Will do missionary, no O for me, jump n dump after, possibly Sudafed to help dry up, DH wearing tight undies, will have hot bath before BD, BUT when do I work out the correct day or last possible day to BD from ovulation especially when I can not detect ovulation easily. Thank you!!!

Hi and welcome Cottonbud!

None of us really know when we ovulate. Studies have proven that even experts can't figure it out. So please don't stress too much about that.

I have a little guide to temping and stuff that will help, but tracking is not necessary and I think it messes with people's heads when swaying pink. https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...sition-and-CM=

Most of us don't temp, we just use OPK tests or fertility monitors.

You can get EWCM for days, even a week prior to ovulation AND for 1-2 days after ovulation. What you describe is many of our experiences (I've gotten CM starting CD 3 for CD 14 O!) Tracking CM is a highly overrated method of tracking ovulation. We have had so many EWCM opposites it's really become tough for me to believe it matters too awfully much. I would do what's worked for most people, most of the time (LE Diet plus coffee, fiber, alcohol, and dropping vitamins, fortified food, and probiotics; cardio exercise 60 min a day 4-7 days a week; one attempt, and Clomid or Femara if you can get them. Nothing else has worked and stressing and obsessing over temps and CM seems to be associated with more opposites...something about the "control-freaky" mindset that we fall into doing that stuff sways blue in a big way, so I would honestly just try to let those things go and focus on doing what really works.

DO NOT BD DAILY FROM AF TO A CUTOFF. That is a terrible method that can both cut odds of conception to virtually nil, but can undermine your sway as well. I have a full explanation here (not the first post but several down the page) https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...nk-lately.html

One attempt either at a 2-3 day cutoff or at first positive OPK is what you should aim at. do not have more than one attempt at least for the first few months.

You may as well take a birth control pill as BD 5-6 days before a cutoff. A recent study found 6 day cutoff had 1 in 100,000 chance of conception and 5 day cutoff had 1 in 10,000. The people who tell you they got pregnant with these super long cutoffs were wrong about when they ovulated and scientists have proven that. Some living sperm have been found in the cervical mucus 5 days after sex (supposedly - I am admittedly rather skeptical of that claim which has really not been adequately tested) but that does NOT mean those sperm could have gone on to fertilize an egg. We have really really low conception - like, next to zero - with anything longer than 3 days.

You can have hubby do either abstain (if he's yonger than 35) or daily FR if you'd like to. You can have him do this on his own or with you, with a condom, or a combination of the two. Just don't have unprotected sex more than the one time.

Y sperm are NOT weaker and do NOT die sooner than X. That's been totally debunked and you can read all about that here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...le-timing.html and here https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...m-y-sperm.html

The thing is (about calculating back to find "perfect attempt day") you can't. Even if timing worked, which it doesn't and most of us on here myself included have 2-3-4 or more timing opposites to prove it, you cannot predict in advance when you're going to ovulate. Even with very regular cycles it moves a day or two in this direction or that direction, and then when you're swaying and dieting (not to mention the supplements, which I'd be happy to go over since we've dropped nearly all of them) your ovulation 98 times out of 100 WILL move several days or even a week plus. So you can figure out the exactly perfect day, you think, and then realize Oh no I had attempt right on O! or that you had an attempt too early. It's just a really bad sway tactic because it's so tough to do and then it doesn't even work anyway.

We will sometimes have people use the "BD second day of high on Clearblue" but as you can see, that doesn't work too well because people do get many days of "high" instead of just the two they're supposed to get, and can also go straight to "peak" with one or zero days of high. That's why most of us have attempt at peak now, it's easier that way. But that's not strict timing, of course.

No Sudafed for you, it's not safe for women and has been linked to strokes.

The good news is pH doesn't work either nd you can read about that here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...ph-pickle.html