How do you know if m/c?

With my CP a few months ago, it was very obvious because I started to bleed pretty soon after BFP. But now I have cramping and a back ache but no blood. And I had hot flushes this morning which I haven’t had at all so far. But I did have them with my CP. If it is a m/c when can I expect bleeding to start? My breasts don’t hurt today and I feel like they look smaller. I am almost 7 weeks. My hcg was doubling really fast so I am thinking if it is a m/c, does bleeding only start when hcg gets low enough? It’s a holiday where I live so my only option is a hospital visit which I am not even sure they would bother seeing me or be able to tell me anything reassuring anyway since I was told they won’t do an u/s until 8 or 9 weeks anyway (which makes me so upset because I have read so many people can see HB on vaginal ultrasound this early - I don’t see why I couldn’t get one).

I don’t know what to do? I can’t sit all day not knowing if it’s still alive.

I understand how terrifying this is but unfortunately the truth is no one on Earth can answer your questions.

Cramping and backache are really common in pregnancy. I found with my last pregnancy in particular (at 41/42) I had severe cramps and backaches and it was so completely nervewracking. (I remember laying on the bed having such strong cramps I just KNEW it was over and sobbing) But I just kept going and nothing ever happened. So we can't use that to tell us anything, unfortunately.

Hot flashes are common in pregnancy and with losses. Again, just not indicative either way.

Bleeding can start when HCG is sky high and you can have low HCG and not have any bleeding. Just doesn't tell us anything.

Breast pain fluctuates during pregnancy and I've been told several times by women their breasts were smaller and they worried exactly as you did that it was a sign of a loss, but they didn't lose the baby.

I suspect you're right and that they (even if they do a scan) will not be able to tell you much at the hospital. If they don't see a heartbeat, it will not be conclusive anyway and there are LOTS of people who don't see a heartbeat, worry unnecessarily, only to find the heartbeat later on. Plus, every time you set foot in a doc's office or ER you're exposing yourself to all sorts of viruses, bacteria, etc that really can cause you a lot of harm.

The thing is, while I completely understand where you're at right now, the fact is that sitting and wondering if your baby is alive is a pretty big part of pregnancy. We can't know at any given point in time if our baby is alive and if it's all right. There is a huge level of unknown and potential disaster lurking at every moment. You could be experiencing every symtpom in the book (and indeed, people do) and the baby has passed. You could have NO symptoms and have a healthy pregnancy. We just can't know from any of these things. Even with an HCG test, which is our best option, even that can mislead.

I wish I could be of more help but unfortunately it's a waiting game - just take it an hour at a time, put your feet up, have a nap, see if you feel better afterward. That's the only option that doesn't unneccesarily expose you to pathogens (Internally, no less, because it will have to be a transvag ultrasound) and stress without providing any useful information.

Hugest ((((hugs)))) and just know we're here for you in any way we can be.