Terrified of something going wrong

Since finding out at 16 weeks this might be a girl (not yet confirmed with the 20 week scan), my anxiety has been so bad. It’s like I can’t give myself a break. I keep thinking the worst, that i’ll Have a late miscarriage or stillborn, or the baby will be poorly. I already suffer from anxiety (mainly around health) but it felt under control until recently. Now all of these awful thoughts keep coming into my head.

I feel angry at myself as I should be happy but I just feel like being happy and enjoying it will jinx it and I daren’t let myself be. I keep worrying about them saying boy at the 20 week scan too. All the signs point to a girl though, 2 girl sneak peek results, girlyish nub at 12 weeks, a gender scan. Why can’t I just relax?! Anyone else feel this way?

Yes I think practically all of us!!

The thing is, something could go wrong. Your fears are not illogical or nonsensical, they're real and legitimate. Trying to tell yourself they aren't, is like trying to deny reality! So it is only natural it's hard for you to stop worrying, worrying is natural. But the thing of it is, the worrying doesn't accomplish anything, right?? It wrecks your life and drains energy you need to take care of your family.

What helped me in this situation is the realization that while possible, the chances something would go wrong were quite slim, and I would always have time to worry when the situation called for it. If nothing was happening and everything seemed normal and ok, worrying was stupid, because the odds were very high that everything was ok. If at such point something troubling happened, I could worry THEN. To put it another way (another illogical fear I had) I used to worry about someone breaking in my house. But I realized that while someone breaking in was possible, the odds were low that it would happen to me, and even if it did happen to me, the odds that it would happen on one given day were really really slim. So was I going to waste my entire life, worrying every day for something that might happen never or might happen when I was like 82 or somethign?? it was ridiculous, and with that realization I was able to let the fear go.

The same thing happens in pregnancy too. The odds are in your favor very much that you will have a happy healthy baby girl in a few months, right? And even IF something goes wrong, in most cases, it will be a minor thing - some spotting or whatever. But let's say it isn't, it's something serious. It will probably be treatable. (I'm sure you get where I'm going with this). The true odds that something will go irrevocably wrong are actually very very slim, and the odds that it will happen any one given day or moment are astronomical. But you're putting yourself through this torture and stress every minute of every day for something that is very unlikely!

And at the end of it all if you really can't logic your way through they do have medication, but obviously that would be a risk/benefit analysis to have with your doc. Just know that so many of us have been there (I swear the end of my second pregnancy I was in terror for several weeks, it was awful) and came out on the other side with healthy babies at the end. :heart:

I wish there was a love option for your reply as like doesn’t do it justice. Thank you. I will read this reply every time these thoughts creep up as you are so right.