Continue abstaining or start BD?

Hi everyone,
First of all I am sorry if this is wrong forum for this question.
Second of all, i apologize for not being word-perfect in english, swedish mum here!! :D

It was a very long time since i posted on genderdreaming, last time i was trying to conceive our second child, -a half-hearted pink sway when i started to be impatient after two m/c and after that was trying preseed and ended up with DS1. <3

Now we are trying to sway for pink again. Both me and ds are vegetarian since two years back, i'm eating a medium "girl-friendly" diet and have my first meal about 12 or 1 pm, but without loosing any weight. Ds are taking cranberries-supps and i'm eating about 300g fresh cranberries each day, i'm also taking magnesium, iodine, baby aspirin and folic acid.

Now to the Bd-question! With both DD1 and DS1 we bd'd exactly the same, (cd 10, 12, 13, 15 and ovulated cd15), sways boy i know, either way this is not to any help now when we are trying to conceive a second girl.
Now we are giving abstaining a shot! Ds is 33 years and i'm 28. Ds will abstaining nearly 10 to 14 days when we will bd again and then have a two days cutoff.
-Beside this ds is a runner, drink coffee in the mornings and whiskey some night, natural very warm and complaining about feeling overheated.
I'm scared that all these factors together are going to kill all the sperm or increase the risk for birth-defects?

Should we continue to abstain or start bd?! But then, how do we start bd without swaying blue?

Love from Sweden <3

Okey, so i had ds to release in the shower, i was too nervous about stone dead sperm... Would you guys recommend to keep on abstaining from now and plan one attempt about two days before O?
The problem is i've been ovulating both cd13, 14 and 15. I don't do ovulation-tests but have ovulation-pain, but it's hard to say if the pain is before, during or after ovulation..

EAting cranberries does nothing for a sway, just to let you know. It's useless. Also I just want to be clear you are not taking both cranberry supps and aspirin together, right?

At 33 it's ok for DH to abstain if you want. Yes, it may end up killing off all the sperm but you won't know unless you try. I would not worry about DNA, most of the things you mention don't harm the sperm DNA, they only kill them.

Yes that's the trouble with cutoffs, most people DO ovulate slightly different days like you're describing. What you can do is do OPK and have attempt either the day of the positive (peak) or get a fertility monitor and have attempt the day of the second "flashy" smiley OR the first peak.

The O pains are not reliable and don't tell you when O is happening.

Thanks atomic, we didn't conceived that cycle.
But now i'm pregnant and i have just sent my sway in the Swaying forum. :)

Thank you for updating me! Huge congrats!