How do I stop being so impatient?

I don't know where to post this but just wanted to get it off my chest.

After several months of swaying blue, DH and I had our first attempts last month. I guess I was too optimistic because after the agonising tww, AF arrived in the morning while at work. I felt so sad at the time and thinking the possible reasons why it didn't happen first go - I got sick just at ovulation with a cold/cough, didn't have enough ewcm, plus other unknown factors. And I know this is unrealistic for me to think about, it's just the first month of trying, I'm being ridiculous! But I guess when you hear from too many people who get it stuck the first month you feel something might be 'wrong'. I keep telling myself it's all God's plan, He is in charge of everything, but still get anxious thinking how long we will ttc.

It doesn't help when your friends start getting their happy news. Earlier this year I met up with a friend and told her that I was hopefully planning for a baby later this year. I asked about her plans and she said it may be difficult for her and her husband because of work and study. She has very irregular cycles and takes metformin. But just recently she told me of her bfp and while I'm genuinely happy for her I also feel 'left out'. It reminds me of some articles I read about how pregnancy is contagious among friends, and it's true so far! Another friend is also pregnant with her first. Now family and friends are asking about when DH and I will have a baby, what we're waiting for and so on, it's becoming difficult to explain, and I don't want to say 'yes we're trying atm'.

How do I deal with these emotions? TTC is all I can think about. It's not even a gender thing right now but just the ability to even conceive. I don't discuss these things with DH although he's okay with everything, and even said when it's the time it will happen. I feel okay at times, but when I wake up ttc is on my mind. I'm also a control freak and this is something that is not all in my control so I'm trying to find ways to 'fix' it.

It's also my week of AF right now which is why I feel more emotional, but our next attempts will be here soon and I'm feeling anxious again, and then during the tww, will be another round of 'being in the unknown'...I try distracting myself with work and hobbies but feel so impatient :(

All you can keep telling yourself is that it takes fully fertile people 3-6 months average to conceive. Anyone who has gotten pregnant the first month out is very lucky! Just take it one day at a time and soon you'll be looking at that BFP!!

I can relate. When we were TTC our first baby, I felt like I was going NUTS because all I could think about was babies and getting pregnant. I figured with our age and being healthy, I would get pregnant within the first month or two. Nope. Just before we hit a year of trying I finally got pregnant with DS1. Right before I got pregnant with him, I would get sooo jealous any time I heard someone announce a pregnancy. It actually made me mad. lol What I hated too was family asking when we were going to get pregnant....uhhh if I knew then that would make me psychic and there would be no need to stress over TTC! :sigh: Fast forward 8 years and we have three boys now. :)

Just remind yourself most people don't conceive right off the bat. TTC can be pretty fun so try to enjoy yourselves. ;) I hope you get your BFP soon!

Thanks for the moral support. You're right Atomic, it can take some months to see a bfp, and it really is down to luck for those people who conceive straightaway. Trying to take each day as it comes and putting my mind elsewhere!

Ksmom: I'm so glad you know exactly how I feel, I literally feel crazy because babies are always on my mind! Oh how did you go through almost a year!? But now you have your sweet children :) That's what I remind myself that it WILL happen but at its own time. The jealousy is real, I never thought to feel like this, I was never a maternal type or baby crazy! That thing about being a psychic when people ask, like hello we can't make it happen just like that :rolleyes:

TTC is weird, your spend much of your relationship trying to avoid getting a bfp but when you're ready you just want it asap!