New here, need advice!

Hi, DH and I have 3 amazing boys and we both agreed to try one more time for a girl. After reading a lot online I found this site, a bit overwhelming to say the least. All I knew was the Shettles method but I see know that it canÂ’t be trusted. Any advice on where to start? IÂ’m currently breastfeeding our 15 month old and need to lose about 40/50lbs to be at a normal BMI. I gained so much with him and it didnÂ’t help I was overweight when I conceived, I have a really hard time losing weight while breastfeeding. We plan on trying for baby number 4 maybe next summer and would like to know where to start to get our girl? Is there any hope? Does my husband not make any girl sperm? A little background, I am 1 of 3 girls from both parents, my dad also has a boy and 2 more girls from a previous marriage. Most of the family on my moms side is all girls out of 13 cousins only 4 boys. One of my cousins has 4 girls and all my other cousins on my moms side have mixed gender children. My sister has had 2 boys. On DH side he has 1 sister and mainly girl cousins on his dads side but more boy cousins on his moms side. Does the amount of one gender in a family have any relation to what gender the father makes? Hope that makes sense. I have also been trying to figure out the girl sway diet, timing etc but one thing about it that stands out to me is that my mom has all girls but was overweight when she conceived us, ate a lot, never exercised, and is very strong willed/dominant. My cousin that has 4 girls was the exact same, overweight, eats a diet high in carbs fats and protein you name it and never exercises, also very strong willed/dominant when she conceived all 4 of them. When I got pregnant with DS1 it was a one time spur of the moment thing doggy style, day of ovulation and female O. With DS2 we BD on a Friday missionary, female O, laid with hips propped for 20 mins, confirmed ovulation on Monday thought that was aligned with Shettles and weÂ’d get a girl. With DS3 we really wanted to try Shettles method to get a girl (again thatÂ’s all I knew at the time) so we were going to wait a couple of months, wanted to lose a few pounds first. Ended up BD one night, thought that ovulation already occurred a day or 2 before so didnÂ’t use protection, doggy style and female O, wound up pregnant first time, just like with DS1. Sorry for the ramble but IÂ’m just so confused on what to do to get a girl. IÂ’ve always dreamed of a little girl and what makes things a little harder for me is that my bf just gave birth to a girl, her first is a boy. I guess IÂ’m in my feelings and wondering why canÂ’t I have that too? Anyway, thatÂ’s for listening and any advice would be great!

Yes unfortunately most of us on here have 2-3-4 or more Shettles opposites. It's fine to try for a small cutoff if you want to but we need to be really careful not to go overboard with that because too long a cutoff cuts odds of conception to nothing.

There is a lot of info on this site, but the truth is, swaying actually isn't complicated at all. Most of the old school sway tactics - timing, frequency, pH, herbal supplements, ions, etc - do nothing to sway and they are all the complex things. I keep the info up on the site about them just so it's available, but you don't need to include it in your sway at all.

The things that really work are:

LE Diet 12 weeks or more plus fiber, coffee, alcohol, and giving up prenatals/fortified foods/probiotics/herbs and other vitamins. Take only folic acid or folate. I would have you on our alternate diet since you have some weight to spare, and I'll tell you about that below.

Cardio exercise 4-7 days a week, 60 minutes per day. More days are better than fewer days.

One attempt to start out with. You can do this with timing/frequency if you want to, or just do the one attempt. The one attempt is the only thing that works - the timing, abstain, etc, none of it has helped, only the one attempt.

Clomid or Femara if you can get them.

Breastfeeding may actually help a bit, I don't know if your plan was to continue nursing or not but it may have some pink friendly effects.

For DH, smoking tobacco and jogging/biking have been proven to sway pink in studies. Olive Leaf Extract and soy milk may help for him. Some husbands give up vitamin supplements and even go vegetarian or vegan, but most don't. Fiber may help a little but not a lot of hubbies have done that.

I understand you can always look around the world and see people who don't seem to fit these descriptions, but swaying is like an iceberg, the stuff we "see" above the water (the tip of the iceberg) is small compared to what is going on under the surface. We know our swaying methods work because we get good results with them and so I would suggest not worrying about what others do/did/are doing and focus on the things that have worked for most people most of the time - that stuff I listed above.

THe short version of the standard diet is here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...l-version.html but I would suggest doing one of the two alternate diets in this thread (not the first post, a few posts down you'll see the diets) https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...rt-3-pcos.html

Now, to answer your other questions - YES your husband makes X sperm. Men are made of XY cells that split in two in the testicles to make half X and half Y sperm. Dividing XY cells in two means that is 50-50 X and Y sperm! For reasons we don't know, yes, some couples do make more of one gender than another but we have no reason to believe this is genetic at all and is likely down to lifestyle. In families with lots of children like the Duggars, they often have long runs of boys and long runs of girls that are longer than most of us even have children!! So it can't be down to genetics. I have a couple explanation threads about this here:

https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...x-y-sperm.html

https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum...make-boys.html

I know that at first this seems like a lot of information - it's like you're picking up an encyclopedia when you want a guidebook. But remember, there's more info in an encyclopedia and that is a good thing! Plus, you always have me here to help you navigate...I answer every question you guys ask and I'm always happy to explain anything that doesn't make sense, or direct you to more information. Just let me know how I can help, and welcome to the site!

Thank you so much for the detailed info! In regards to the one attempt, should DH hold off and then BD only one time around ovulation? The one attempt and frequency is what I’m confused about. All 3 of our boys were one attempt so is diet more important or attempt or frequency? I don’t feel confident yet on what’s the best way to go about it. Thanks again!!

Diet and exercise are most important.

Frequency doesn't work at all but most people want to start off using it. Fine if you want to try it, but it does nothing in our results.

One attempt does really seem to help quite a bit but can't make up for diet and exercise. That having been said, anyone who can't/haven't do/done diet and exercise, doing one attempt can still help sway pink and everyone (with the exception of people who need to get pregnant super fast, we usually have them start off with every 4 day method)

Even though you got your boys with one attempt, you should still try for one attempt to start off with. You got your boys not because of one attempt, but in SPITE of it, if that makes sense. Sometimes people think "but I have to do the opposite!" The catch is, you need to only change things that were actually swaying blue! So many people will decide they have to do the opposite on stuff that was actually swaying pink, making themselves even more likely to have another boy. So I suggest just doing what worked for most people, most of the time, like one attempt.