Have two darling sons would like some advise on how to increase our chances of having a girl please

Hi there I live in the Uk, we have two wonderful little boys and we are hoping to ttc our last baby in the next 6 months. I've been reading through information here and it seems did we did a lot of things unknowingly that increased the chances of having boys before, although we adore them and wouldn't change them for the world. We would like to try a girl sway:ballerina:

I'm 34 and sadly I have fibromyalgia and a few autoimmune conditions that affect my skin. My cycles are quite regular. My eldest boy has autism and ADHD, my youngest is showing similar traits I took 400mcg folic in pregnacare before conceiving our boys, I was going to take folate this time but unsure if I should take a higher dose? I was planning on doing the LE diet. With my age and chronic illness, should I take ubiquinol for egg quality, does this sway more towards a boy? I take a magnesium supplement daily because it helps with cramps and pain spasms, can I continue that whilst trying?

My husband is 40, we had an early miscarriage between our boys 4 years ago and my husbands parents lost a little baby with Down syndrome-I'm worried sperm abnormalities run in his family, Can Olive leaf help lessen the chance of sperm abnormalities? I was wondering if I should ask him to take folic acid twice a week?


Sorry if this post is very long, thank you for reading look forward to hearing some responses

HI and welcome!

I am really not a fan of Pregnacare. I don't trust it as it has massively high doses of nutrients and some other components that are not adequately tested for safety (not to mention may sway blue.) I do not recommend it for anyone, even during pregnancy.

I would like you on folate ONLY and please have your levels of folate and B12 tested beforehand. If they are high, skip the folate. If your B12 is lower than the norm, add in the lowest dose of B12 you can find 2x a week. I prefer you guys take 1200-1600 mcg (that is micrograms not milligrams) but I do think you should have your levels tested beforehand if at all possible.

Down Syndrome is incredibly common (many of our IVF members have at least one embryo tested that has Downs, even younger couples) and I would not read anything into that. Your husband's sperm is likely fine (although they do have testing if you have concerns, it is quite expensive though).

Ubiquinol is fine if you'd like to take it. I don't think it's in any way a magic bullet for preventing egg quality issues. 200-400 mg daily till BFP, then gradually wean off by spacing doses further and further out till down to one per week then drop it. You can also give it to your husband at similar dose, and he should wean off it as well. I often use it for pink swayers who are concerned with egg quality and we do still get girls using it. But that having been said I also use it for blue swayers. It's a supplement that has a place for both those TTC girls and boys.

If you need the magnesium for health, please continue. I don't find it to be a strong swayer.

If you are concerned with egg quality I suggest you follow the alternate diet and you can find that here: https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gen...rt-3-pcos.html

I personally do not think OLE is any kind of sperm miracle for either quality or swaying. It's fine to use it, but the best way to ensure your husband has healthy sperm is by having him do release every 2-4 days starting right away and continuing on until you're pregnant. You don't need to stick to this pattern slavishly, if you have a time when it's every day for a round or two or 5 days now and then, no biggie, you're just trying to avoid long periods of abstain in particular as that's quite bad for sperm health. Many days of release in a row is not bad for sperm quality but can reduce numbers.

Re whether to have him take folic 2x a week - meh. If he's eating a normal diet he is getting enough folic acid anyway and unless a man has a need to take it, I am hesitant as it's been possibly linked to increasing the rate at which prostate cancer grows (NOT causing it, but making it possibly grow faster) and as I've seen 10,000 guys with severe sperm issues taking folic acid to "fix" them and having their sperm analyses remain identical, I seriously doubt it does anything. Since I don't think you guys even have sperm abnormalities running in your family anyway, I'd not take the chance, even though it's distant. :)

Thank you for all your advice:o)

Atomic I hope you dont mind can I ask another couple of questions please

I read somewhere that autoimmune conditions can increase chances of eggs being more at risk of oxidative stress- do you think this is true? I liked the sound of your fertility diet would that help reduce oxidative stress to eggs, including naturally antioxidant foods like fruits etc, or do you think I would benefit more from the fertility diet and taking ubiquinol?Can I eat moderatly according to your outlined fertility diet(not eating excessively but enough for nutrition) without counting calories etc?, I dieted a few years ago and I think I became to obsessive about how many calories I was taking in each day. Thank you for reassuring me about my concerns over hubbys sperm quality. Does ubiquinol sway in men? I think I might get him to take it, I'm a bit control freakish and I think I'd feel better about him taking something to help his sperm and I will do the release with him every few days as well, think I will leave out the olive leaf extract. He gave up smoking cigarettes a few years ago but he still regularly uses a vape e- cig which contains only nicotine. His diet isn't great he does eat a varied diet but is fond of surgery foods and chips/pizza/burgers etc- would my hubby need
to make any dietary changes? I noticed some pink swayers ask their hubby to drink soy milk- should I ask hubby to do that?Thank you for advising about the folate and B12 I will definitely get that checked.

No not at all, I love questions!

Autoimmune diseases may make people at higher risk for miscarriages for a variety of reasons. I don't think "oxidative stress" is in any way the greatest concern when TTC with an AI condition - worrying about "oxidative stress" with autoimmune diseases is like worrying about the menu when the restaurant is on fire, LOL. Not even close to your biggest problem. But that having been said try to keep in mind that even with AI conditions most pregnancies are perfectly normal and healthy.

I think you'd be wise to do the alternate diet anyway (because many AI diseases present alongside PCOS or other insulin resistance issues). We get better results with the alternate diet if you can stick to it and don't lose too much weight. I'd honestly use it for everyone but a lot of people just can't stand to be on it and weight flies off. If you can stand it and don't lose too much weight, by all means!

I do really prefer you guys track at first. What happens in many, many cases is when people do not track, they end up gradually cutting back more and more till they're on a starvation diet without realizing it. Even if you can just track for a few days/a week and then drop it, it will give you more of a feel for how much you're actually getting. That's how most people do it, track at first and then drop it. I just don't want to put you into a position where dieting is STILL messing with your head, but then you don't even have the tools to know you're cutting back too far!

We don't think ubiquinol is a strong swayer for men either.

I would not give your husband soy milk given your concerns as it may be somewhat harmful to sperm. If I was making a plan for you without your concerns, then I'd probably give it to him, but it's no magic bullet and since you're worried I'd just skip it.

Some people have had their hubbies go vegetarian or even vegan but most of our husbands, mine included, wouldn't.

Thank you Atomic I really appreciate all your advice.I think I had 2 of my autoimmune conditions when I had my second son but then I got bad strep throat the winter after he was born and developed psoriasis. Thankfully my conditions seem to be well under control now and I hope that continues.

Yes I'm more than happy to try the alternate diet and yes I'll track. Could I ask for a rough guide of amounts carbs/protein/fat/cals: I'm 6ft would that affect my amounts I need to consume or would that not matter? Feeling much more positive about ttc again after talking to you, I've been wanting to try for our last bubba for 2 years- I wanted to get my health a bit stronger first. I can manage some walking and swimming but I dont think I could do the full amount of exercise for a girl sway without going into a flare, so I'm not sure what to do regarding exercise.

Can I ask about caffeine, I noticed some girl swayers are drinking caffeinated coffee, my doctor told me years ago that caffeine can make it harder to get pregnant, and can cause miscarriage. With my boys I drank a couple of cups of decaf tea but no coffee. Actually during my second pregnancy I craved coffee and have been hooked since, do you think I could continue 2 or 3 cups a day safely?

My hubby loves his red meat, but he has said he is happy to do the frequency suggested here 1 attempt in fertile window/positive opk or every four days- So I'm happy about that😊

Ah yes being tall means you need to up your macros. So instead of the normal macros which are:

1500-1800 cals
50-60 g protein and fat

And you do NOT count the small amounts of protein and fat in fruit and veg - fruit and veg are free for protein and fat - and count nothing at all in low carb veg, they're free and unlimited.

You would up to:

2000 cals a day (possibly even more if weight flies off!)
65 g protein and fat (again, not counting the pro and fat in fruit and veg)

If you gain weight we can talk about reducing calories, but it's best to start off higher than you think you need and then reduce over time.

We don't count carbs on our diet. If you track cals, protein, and fat, carbs take care of themselves. No need to worry about them

Yes I'd have you do walking. No need for anything more strenuous. (I often have AI flare when I exercise too much so I sympathize) While I have higher confidence with more exercise, for many people (and probably everyone, just don't have the data to say that for sure yet) the benefits to blood sugar control are so great that even moderate exercise is effective for pink. The catch is that you MUST be sure you're ok with diet. Moderate exercise plus a blue-friendly diet and weight gain will sway blue, so if you need to do moderate exercise, just be very cautious not to be gaining weight on a blue friendly diet (particularly one high in protein)

You can use decaf coffee if you prefer. I think 1-3 cups of coffee is well tolerated prior to conception, does not cut odds of conception, and you can reduce that to 1x a day when pregnant.

Great news with hubby! I think you're on target for a great sway, sending you tons of pink dust!

Thank you Atomic😊