Surviving Gender Disappointment

I have been a very frequent visitor to this website since 2012 when we found out we were pregnant with our 3rd that ended up being another boy. We also then went on to have 2 more boys, 5 in total. My husband got snipped during my 5th pregnancy so we are done having children. It was hard, it all felt so final, and I always worried about how I would manage in the future without my dream daughter. My youngest is now around 18 months and I have finally reached a point in my life where I feel I am healing. This gender disappointment topic is so hard to talk about with those around us and having so many boys I know my entire life I will continue to get the comments like "were/are you trying for a girl?". While it used to bother me now it does not really, I have more going on it my life to worry about it. But I felt moved to make a video about my experience, to answer the questions those around me want to ask but may not feel like they can. I also felt so alone when I was deep into my gender disappointment so I wanted to reach out to others to let them know you are NOT alone in this. There are others out there that are feeling what you feel so it is ok to feel those feelings.
If this is not allowed please feel free to delete but here is my story on my gender disappointment struggle.
https://youtu.be/5R3mXJI2xnA

I think this is awesome. 😊 there is something so valuable in the story's of people who did not get their dream gender.
While ttc and additionally swaying I think our minds are stuck on getting it right and not having an opposite. But at the end there is so much more to live. I forget this sometimes too. And yes I hear it more and more, the older I get 😉 a lot of people where wishing for the other gender, and never got it. But a lot of people just seem to accept it. Which is fine too.
My mom was wishing to have a brother (never got one) and then to have a son (never got one) but now i see she loves her grandsons so very much and in a special way, it is really moving (although she also loves the granddaughters, you wouldn't see a difference). But that always shows me, sometimes you won't get what you were wishing for but maybe something else, that's also great.
I wish you a great time with your boys. I think once they will be adults it will be so cool, surrounded by good looking men, that all love you. ❤

Great video, and you were so brave to post it! You really summed it up perfectly.

I also love that you related it to other things, ie. career disappointments, etc. GD is such a taboo but it is so very normal to mourn your unlived life so many ways, and happiness and fulfillment can still co-exist with these feelings.

Thank you so much for posting this!

This was an amazing video (also you are very beautiful and don't look old enough to have 5 kids!) You said it so well. It's hard to wrap your head around never having a something you expected to have. You're right there is a mourning period. I am going though that. Because I really expected swaying to work. And I never would have imagined so many losses. It is hard to feel like I failed and I can never win now because my days trying to have a last baby are over. It's hard to accept that. But life goes on. And I wait patiently for the acceptance because i know it's the final step of the mourning and it will come in time.