Lonely in swaying pink

Hello everyone,

It sounds strange, feeling lonely in swaying pink, so let me introduce myseld and explain.
My name is Emily and I am currently 29, almost 30 (cant believe it haha) and I live in the Netherlands:cool:
Me and my hubby have a gorgeous baby boy who is now 7 months old and our little bundle of joy!
We cant wait to give him a brother/sister and have already discussed me getting my IUD removed when he turns 1, so 5 months to go :awe:

Me and my hubby both would love a baby girl, but when I asked him what he thought of the idea of us actively swaying for a girl he literally said: no way, that feels wrong. Plus he said he was scared that if we would sway and we wouldn’t get our baby girl, i would be even more dissapointed.
I get him, really I do, but at the same time it makes it even more lonely and i feel even more ashamed that i do want to sway. However I know that swaying doesnt guarantee anything and I just think: why not try? If it doesnt do any harm, why not. And if we are so lucky that we get pregnant at all again and it turns out a boy, then that is totally fine!
Its amazing to be blessed with a second pregnancy at all!

That being said, it does make swaying harder having no one knowing or supporting me. I hope to find support and help here to sway pink happily and with confidence :)

My situation now:
- I am 5”4” and 119lbs.
- Due to problems with my legs after the epidural (not able to walk and legs giving way) I haven’t really been able to do any excersize. The last couple of weeks I can finally walk again so I try to walk with the stroller when I can.
- I have just started drinking coffee again after reading it sways pink.
- I have been taking cal/mag supplements and cranberry as they say it sways pink here in Holland (is that true or not? Cause im not sure)
- I try to skip breakfast but it is difficult sometimes when my man is around.
I had anorexia for 13 years, but have been recovered now for 6 years and in a good place with food, myself and happy with my weight.

I dont know what the right approuch would be for me? LE diet?
I read that if you are petite you should stick with low protein, low fat and try to eat refined carbs, sugar and so... should I do that?

I hope someone can help me,

Emily

Thank you so much for your patience on this!

Trust me, we GET those feelings of loneliness!!! As so many have said already the gender disappointment itself is something we could get over, but it's the feelings of being all alone and wanting something that is inexplicably taboo that can be hardest to bear.

Don't worry if your husband won't help, most of our husbands, mine included, would do nothing to sway. we still have good results even without a husband being involved (well, he has to be slightly involved, LOL!)

Trying immediately after getting the IUD removed may help your sway.

RE your weight, I want you to hold steady where you are. You're already in a good weight for swaying pink.'' I would have you eat 1500-1800 cals a day, 40-50 g protein, 30-60 g fat, have coffee and alcohol (we have gotten good results with those). Do not count the protein and fat in fruit and veg, and NOTHING not even calories in low carb veg. The very high sugar, high white carb form of the LE Diet has been somewhat disappointing so if you can stick to it, you may want to do more whole grains instead, and not have a bunch of sugary stuff (moderation is ok).

Many of us, again, including myself, got BOYS taking cal-mag and cranberry or similar supplements. In our results, we also saw cranberry did nothing at all. I would not have you take cranberry as it has caused many side effects and possibly even raises the risk of miscarriage. Cal-mag was shown in the best study ever done on diet to lead to more boys conceived, though we have had better results with cal-mag than cranberry. So I generally recommend skipping cranberry, and leave the cal-mag up to you guys. If you do decide to continue with cal-mag make sure it's the kind without Vit. D as that was a strong blue swayer.

Skipping breakfast has not been overhwelmingly good results so if you can't manage to skip breakfast it is not a dealbreaker.

Since you have a history of eating disorders PLEASE be very very careful not to get overly restrictive on diet. If you start having feelings like food avoidance and that type of thing, we will stop doing diet and just have you go vegetarian. We have also had good results with that.

Thank you so so much Atomic for taking the time to answer my message! I really appreciate it! :)

My husband did the groceries last friday and I asked him to bring some Hugo, so that’s one box checked! If I understood correctly it’s best to enjoy a glass of alcoholic drink during a meal right? So at dinner it is!

I have also started drinking coffee again, black but with sweetners cause I really dont like coffee otherwise :p

About the IUD and what you said: when would be the best moment during my cycle to get it removed? Just before the fertile window?

I have decided for myself (and would like to hear your oppinion on this please, if i may) that due to me ttc in 4,5 months (maybe 4 months) I want to“sway in steps“.
What I mean is:
1.
- Introduce coffee
- Introduce alcohol
- Eat vegetarian more often. (We have a vegetable burger over here that has 3,6g fat per serving and 11g protein per serving and other days we already eat a salad with apple, cucumber and a small hand of nuts) do you have other vegetarian recommendations?
I alreay eat whole grain bread and rice and pasta, but will now
- Ban peanutbutter from the menu and eat more strawberry jam, philadelphia light with cucumber and...?
- stop with supplements
(Should i already start with folic acid?)
- eat more calories because i am not eating enough..

2. Follow the diet stricter when it comes to fat, protein and dining moments.
Thus: no snacking between meals.
I already do that but will allow it every now and then because i still have 4 months to go.

So excited haha.
Thanks!

Emily

:agree: you can have some milk or cream in your coffee along with the sweeteners, nearly all of us do that.

:agree: I agree completely that it is fine, even desirable to ease into a sway rather than diving into it all at once.

I had a lot of hummus wraps and bean burritos when I was swaying. I also often ate cheesy broccoli rice and spanish rice dishes.

You can have peanut butter within the limits of the diet. No need to ban that.

I suggest NO SKIM DAIRY at all including Philly Light due to your low weight. (we actually have lately had better results with the type of diet that has just full fat dairy so you are not compromising your sway in any way). If you don't eat enough fat you will stop ovulating and then we'll have a whole different set of problems to contend with.

Yes please start folic acid immediately.

Everything else is looking great!!

Hi Emily! I just wanted to write because I'm in a similar life place to you--we have an 18-month-old son, and we will be starting our girl sway this December. I definitely feel lonely at times, especially when I look at our beautiful, wonderful boy, and feel like it's a betrayal to him to still long for a daughter.

But I think it's natural to have a preference. Of all my friends, every single one has expressed a preference for one gender or the other. I think that swaying is also much more common than people let on, it's just that most people don't talk about it. My aunt admitted to me that they swayed for a girl after their two boys, my father-in-law told me that they swayed for a girl after having three boys in a row (and now they have 4 boys and 6 girls!), and two other friends have told me that if they have another baby they might try to nudge things in one direction or another.

So just know you aren't alone!

Thank you so much for your respons!
When you write about the feeling of betrayal towards your son I think: no, dont feel bad about it! It doesnt mean you love him less than you would a daughter, but at the same time, when I put my son to bed and look at his gorgeous little face smiling back at me, I feel the same way. And I say to him out loud: I love you to pieces little fella and I wouldnt trade you for any daughter <3
I know he is the most precious and absolutely my favorite little human being and if he ever does get a sister, they will both be my favorite! And if gets a brother instead then i am blessed with two beautiful boys.

Reading your message and Atomics makes me feel alot better, thank you!

I feel the same exact way! I wouldn't trade my son for the entire world, and most days I can't believe how lucky I am that he's mine. I know deep down that if we have a second boy, I will feel the same way, but I still really really hope for a daughter. It is an odd thing, gender desire. Let me know if you need support during the journey--I'll be here!