husband no wish for children-hoping for a girl- feeling desperate

hi
im 36 years old woman and have 4 boys. i want a girl really bad, but my husband is done with 4 boys, he doesn't want any children anymore, but i can't find rest in his decision.
I feel so desparate with this feeling not havind a girl at all.

who recognizes this? how to deal with this?

we use the pull out method for not getting pregnant, but i hope it will turn otherwise.

that's why i do the pcos diet and cardio everyday 1 hour, i cant stop hoping, if there will be a oopsy, then at least more chance for a girl.

Yes I completely can relate, that was me too. Four boys and my husband claimed he was done. But we kept not trying, not preventing, sometimes he pulled out and sometimes he didn't, and I did diet in the meantime. One month I just got incredibly lucky and it happened for me.

My thinking at the time was this - it helped me to get through even if I never had gotten pregnant. It kept the dream alive for a while longer even though I knew it was a very long shot, and it seemed like a transition period for me. It gave me time to get used to the idea that I would not have a daughter, that I would never have another baby, but without having to completely shut the door either.

So even though in the end it worked out for me, even for those who it doesn't work out for, this interim solution can be a coping mechanism to give you time to make the adjustment rather than just having your dreams crushed, if that makes sense.

I very much hope and pray that your husband comes around!

Thanks atomic. Yes you are right.
but I do notice that by not closing the door completely, I hope to keep holding it every month and thereby the disappointment and it also pisses me off. So I have to find my balance there in giving up my dream, but I don't have to do this for the full 100%. Actually, I'm only 36 years old, maybe I should just let it rest, if I can manage that. I will have to focus on something else.

I just want to compliment you for your website and forum. I think you are a very special sweet person, as you always respond lovingly to everyone. You remain positive for everyone despite the situation. Thanks!

That is so good that you understand your own heart and know what's best for you. Every word you say makes so much sense and I truly hope you find peace of mind with your family as it is.

I will say that even though I got my daughter, my life for a while there with 3 very small children and two older ones (plus working, since money was tight due to having extra babies) was very very busy and to be honest, unpleasant. Even with the "pink dream" things were, and still aren't, not perfect and in many ways I didn't ever get to have things the way I had imagined them. So even with my daughter that dream I had never came true simply because my life was so tough having more kids than I probably should have.

In the meantime some of my friends I met on this journey decided to move on with their boys, and post pictures of themselves on beaches with margaritas and stuff like that. While I wouldn't change anything of course, at the same time it is obvious to me there is more than one road to achieve happiness and people who don't keep chasing the gender dream are just as happy as those of us who do - if not even more so. There is a whole world of amazing experiences to have that awaits us all, whether or not we ever have daughters, so don't ever believe that having a daughter is necessary to your happiness - it isn't.

I am so glad this site was helpful to you - it's truly my pleasure if I can help you guys in some small way. Please don't hesitate if you need more support - that's what I'm here for. :) :heart:

thanks for your honest words. this means a lot to me. I'm going to take these words with me. Thanks for your help.